Good relationships with family members are typically formed over many small actions over time, not big occasions. Meals, conversations, routines and acts of care bring family members a sense of value and connection. Meaningful interaction in a busy household can be challenging, but daily routines can be a way to listen to each other, cooperate, laugh, and get a better understanding of one another. The purpose is not perfection, but consistency, patience and true attention.

Share Meals Without Distractions

In recent years, it’s become easier than ever for families to build their relationships through shared meals A few meals a week – even breakfast – can establish a routine for a shared meal. Turn off phones, TVs and screens to pay attention to the people at the table.

It is important to celebrate families on the big occasions, but also the little achievements. Compliment a child when he/she helps a friend, finishes a challenging task, or tries something new. Recognize an adult’s contribution to the family, patience when they work hard or have a difficult week.

There’s no need for gifts or parties to celebrate. It could be a handwritten note, a favorite meal, a picture, or just a simple statement of pride. Positive reinforcement for work done, not just successes builds confidence and resilience.

Protect One-to-One Time

Although family unity is important, it is also important that each member be given individual attention. If possible, take time to sit one-on-one with each child, pair or family member. Allowing someone to talk about private matters through a walk, car ride, sharing a snack, or a brief conversation provides them with time and space.

The secret to the most valuable ingredient is PRESENCE. Set aside distractions, put questions, fulfill promises. When individuals feel they can count on others in normal times, family ties are strengthened. Families can build a home in which all members feel supported, understood and loved through shared meals, ritual, play, responsibility and a spirit of honesty and communication.

I love happy salt shakers that surprise me on restaurant tables, kittens that stick their paws under my bedroom door in order to steal errant socks, fluffy bathrobes at Christmas, soft old jeans that are worn to a perfect fit just before they fall apart, hand knit socks from my mother-in-law, buttered popcorn with just the right amount of salt and a touch of parmesan cheese, gigantic noses on my great uncles, the big dog who woofs like a puppy at everything with paws, vanilla cupcakes with multi-coloured sugar sprinkles, the sound of seashells clacking together in a pile in my palm, toddlers wearing suspenders, the relief I feel when an airplane flight finally smooths out after take-off, tall boots made of soft leather, listening to rain patter on the roof of a car in the middle of the night, skinny dipping, sliding in between fresh bedsheets, remembering that time when two three-week-old baby deer suckled at my fingers with their perfect mouths, taking long walks through water at a lake’s edge, cheesecake drizzled with chocolate sauce, bunk beds, prematurely grey hair, oversized cocktail rings, the smell of new paperback books, how snow sounds like styrofoam underfoot when it gets below -25°F, YouTube videos of babies laughing, fat caterpillars, good hair days, hanging my hand out of the car window on the highway so I can feel the wind push back against my palm, rootbeer popsicles, sitting in candlelight during power outages, eating the pods after shucking peas, the wooden ball my grandmother used to drop into the toes of socks when she darned them, old hippies, Boler campers, pocket watches, the soft beep my computer makes when it asks me if it’s okay to update a program, sea glass, wooden hangers, hot baths at midnight, that kittens have blue eyes before they turn colour, mud between my toes, the blue stuff the dental hygienist uses to polish my teeth, steam rising out of hot cups of coffee, iPhoneography, trips abroad, robots, cozy sweaters in the fall, strawberry jam on top of thick butter on warm biscuits, breakfast for supper, high top sneakers, Archie Andrews’ jalopy, nerdy little kids with glasses sliding down their noses, when soft flowers all flutter together in the wind like butterflies, NPR’s This American Life with Ira Glass, raccoons, bubble bath, the New Zealand accent, water running over creek pebbles, and bright tacky bathrooms.

Do you wake up each morning and go…meh.

Then do we have an event for you!

Now, I am sure by now, you’ve heard. We’re coming. Boston. New York. Aiming Low. In the house.

Fabulous drinks, amazing food, super fun techie things to fondle (computers, and printers, and touchsmart, oh my!) , and prizes. OMG the prizes. The sheer awesomeness of the prizes? Ridiculous. I would tell you about them, but where’s the fun in that?! Nowhere. That’s where.

But, after all the planning, and organizing, and preparing, we still need one thing. One awesome thing.

You.

Men. Women. Bloggers. Non-bloggers.

We want to meet you all!

Here’s the catch. We’ll feed you, water you, let you ogle our goodies, but you must, MUST, RSVP. Because space? She is limited.

So, here are the dirty details.

I have hair issues.

My hair lacks style.

Oh, now I’ve had style before; just not recently (like the last decade). I’ve proudly worn the Dorothy Hamill cut. I had the Farah Faucett and thought I was all that; never mind the fact that my hair was mousy brown and thick, not blond and bouncy. When I was a little older I permed my hair. I know, you must be thinking I must be pretty old. I’m fairly certain that the other writers on this site – a decade or two younger than me – have never had a perm. But I looked good in my perm. I mean for a time period that perms were acceptable. Are they still acceptable?

I’ve had long hair (with and without bangs), short hair (the wedge/blunt cut). In between those long and short cuts, I had the Rachel. Please tell me you know that cut. Or I will have to believe that you are all under an acceptable age for us to be friends. The Rachel is pretty easy for me to forget because for the three months I endured the haircut I didn’t allow any photos which was easy because it was before the digital pictures-in-abundance phase.

My hair cycle looks something like this, as pictured above.

Pigtails – The Hamill – The Farah – The Perms – Bangs – The Wedge – The Rachel – The Variations of The Wedge – The Long, Natural Hair (layered a bit, worn natural, or heaven forbid, curled with hot rollers like the olden days)

I’d love it if I could wear The Schmutzie, but I can’t pull it off and look hot like her. Same with Danielle and Una and a host of others on this site. Also? Doesn’t hurt that they all have sexy names and I’m just Julia. I need your opinion! Weigh in on these different styles of hair for me.

Maybe something short and fun like this:

Or maybe something in the middle, like this but not with chopped, uneven bangs or maybe chopped, uneven bangs:

I suppose my long hair could be cut into a little bit shorter version of this long hair (boring?) and then I could blow dry and straighten when I want it to look like this:

See my current (un) style in my little tiny author’s photo (or my drawing)? Tell me, which one would you pick for me? Or should I not do anything? Or maybe we can talk Amber into a Capture It for me and have everyone upload their haircuts for me so I have some more options for me.

I love to garden. Which is nice, but when one lives in an area that hits triple digit temperatures throughout the summer, one finds oneself staring at dead plants more often than not.

So one does what ancient civilizations do.

No. Not human sacrifice.

Now. Before you start Googling ollas, let me give you a little info on these clay miracle workers.

Ollas, pronounced “oh-YAHS” not “oh-LAHS” are unglazed clay pots with a long neck. The premise is simple: Bury the olla near your plants and fill with water. The unglazed clay seeps water into your soil, sending the perfect amount of moisture to your plants.

How to Make a Homemade Olla

You’ll need:

• Unglazed clay pots
• Unglazed clay saucers
• Glass beads
• Gorilla Glue
• Silicone Caulk
• Directions:

1. I went for the 4″ x 6″ clay pots. For the double pot olla, buy two clay saucers that are just big enough to cover the bottom. For the single pot olla, buy a clay pot big enough to cover the top of the pot.

2. Wipe your clay pots clean with a damp sponge and let dry.

3. Very carefully–because this stuff is dangerous–put glue on the top lip of the clay pot.

For the single pot, place the pot on the saucer on the glue and let dry.

For the double pot, balance another clay pot on the first as shown in the picture and let dry.

Glue a small saucer to the bottom of the double olla. This will keep water the water in.

4. Decorate your olla tops. The top will help prevent water from evaporating on those hot days.

5. Time to caulk, baby.

A damp sponge will go a long ways towards smoothing out any mistakes.

Let the caulk harden.

(Get your minds out of the gutter.)

When it’s hard (stop), fill with water and check for leaks. If you find any seepage, fill with caulk. (Seriously. Stop giggling.)

6. Sink your olla in your garden between plants. Fill with water and top with your decorative topper. Keep checking your olla to be sure that it has water in it. The roots of your plants will eventually go towards the olla, seeking moisture.

Now if this all works the way it should, your watering costs will go down, you can actually put fertilizer directly into the pots and on days when the temps reach 115, there a smaller chance that your plants will die a dry and dusty death. And by making my own, it only cost me around $3 each.

Win. Win. Win. Big win.

As you may have heard, Anissa, our beloved friend and leader here at Aiming Low, suffered a massive stroke on Tuesday afternoon. She is in the hospital right now, in the ICU.

More than anything, Anissa needs your prayers and positive thoughts but to the many people who have offered help to the Mayhew family, here is some info on what you can do:

Things that would be helpful right now are gift cards (AMEX and Visa are most flexible) or gift cards to restaurants and gift cards to the movies or to Blockbuster (to help keep the kids’ occupied). If you would like to give a restaurant gift card, the following restaurants are local to them: Chick Fil A, Beef O’Brady’s, Hooter’s, Applebee’s, Moe’s, Ruby Tuesday, Red Lobster, Cracker Barrel, Panera Bread, Sonny’s, Burger King, Zaxby’s, McDonald’s, Subway.