wouldn't it be nice?

we're not in the same boat

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Mon, 20 Apr 2020 19:21:00 +0000

Saturday's evening rainbow

Last week I wrote this really long stupid post complaining about people who complain about things that I don't complain about, left it up for a few hours, thought better of it and deleted it. If you read blogs via an RSS feed then you'll be able to see it but if not, tough luck!

My Instagram friend Rebecca shared this graphic a few weeks ago that I should be thinking about more often:

I read another post today that really resonated with me—the poster said something to the effect of, we are all weathering the same storm right now but we're not in the same boat. I feel extremely blessed that I don't feel insecure in a lot of areas right now. I feel a sort of panicked claustrophobia grab me every now and then, but I don't know what it's like to live with persistent anxiety or depression, or to have a job that you can't do remotely, or to live in a country where the president seems proud of the fact that he has no idea what he's doing. One thing that I'm having a hard time coming to terms with right now is that I cannot control how others react in a crisis. It's so bad and it's a long-time problem that was around long before the pandemic was. So, I'm going to spend my energy for the next while working on my attitude and how I can be kind and serve people who are being affected differently than I am right now. (Even if they are complaining about lockdown and have an enormous house and/or backyard. ;) I am trying to spend more time writing about my feelings than stewing about other people's feelings so this is totally self-serving, but it helps me work through my emotions and I find the writing process really helpful in giving me some perspective.

Today I had such a fun day with my kids. I expended a little too much of my fun mom energy and snapped like a rubber band at bath time (also when I walked in the living room and saw Ralph had colored all over the wall and couch) but my kids were still smiling when I tucked them in so I'm calling it a win. I used to have a really bad yelling problem and lockdown has been a good chance for me to work on that, which is surprising. I think it helps to be around my kids all day and know exactly what it is that is making them feel off, which helps me be more compassionate when they're losing it. I wish that I had that luxury with everyone! So I'm going to try and think about things from that perspective while I try to be more empathetic with people who are not my kids.

I don't really have anywhere that I'm going with this post but I'll leave you with everyone's favorite Rilke quote that has helped me so much over the last few years and is back helping me now: "Let everything happen to you. Beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final." When I've relied on that quote it has been under entirely different circumstances, but it's true—those old feelings are gone and have been replaced by new ones. I've just got to keep going to find out what other feelings, good and bad, are waiting in my future.

my corona

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Mon, 13 Apr 2020 20:46:00 +0000

Well, that escalated quickly.

the family that masks together...

Maybe the thing that will get me back to updating my blog will be 24/7 mandatory confinement. But, as we've all learned, we don't not do things because we don't have the time—we apparently don't do them because, well, we don't want to! Okay, that's not true. Even though I am spending lots more time at home, I'm still prioritizing other stuff over sitting at my desk and trying to figure out WHERE DO I EVEN START.

I have to thank my mom for telling me on the phone the other day that I should be documenting that corona life because my memories will fail me and someone will want to know what life was like during this strange period. There is no shortage of articles, think pieces and memes about our first (well, for most of us anyway) experience with a pandemic, but here's what's been happening chez Hamill.

this view is a 2 minute walk from our apartment #blessed

The first I thought about our lives being possibly impacted by COVID-19/coronavirus/SARS-CoV-2/could we have please come up with a more uniform moniker? was mid-February, just after we'd come home from a trip to London. Winter break in France usually means that a lot of French families go skiing on the French border or to Italy, and the outbreak in Italy meant that the spread in France was pretty much inevitable. I had a small surgery scheduled for February 27th (I had a polyp in my uterus that needed to be evicted), and when we showed up at the hospital we were questioned about our whereabouts over the past two weeks—which is crazy because I had just been there three days before without any questioning. The 27th is also when my family text chains started getting a little more panicked and I started hearing about toilet paper shortages in the US... and the French were still very much going about their daily lives. Our upstairs neighbor is a doctor and was dismissive of the panic which seems so comical now.

Things did NOT start feeling serious in Paris until the week before our confinement started, which officially happened on March 17th. Up until that point the only difference I noticed was that Ralph's crèche teachers were fastidious about hand-washing (very unusual for France where personal hygiene habits are, uh, different than they are in the US) and they had signs posted in the building about travel restrictions and self-quarantine. President Macron announced that schools would be closing indefinitely after Friday March 13th, and then an estimated 30% of the city left—since most people who live in Paris aren't actually Parisian, there are plenty of spacious family homes to go to all over France, and most French families have two working parents so there needed to be grandparents available for childcare. That Sunday, we had the MOST beautiful weather that we'd had all year and Parisians were out in full force, not respecting social distancing warnings at all. Restaurants were ordered closed after that. I'm sure everyone knew that confinement was inevitable, but it was pretty crazy seeing everyone just flout the recommendations so openly.

Monday the 16th was the day that Macron made the lockdown announcement, and I started to feel a mounting sense of dread. Our friends had offered to let us stay at their (empty) house in southern France, which felt like a godsend and we were serious about taking them up on it. But the lockdown went into effect much more quickly than we thought it would, and there would not be time to pack up our lives and make the ~9 hour drive before the noon deadline on the 17th. I feel for all the people getting flak for fleeing NYC because we were in the position of having to make that decision too, but I'm pretty sure I felt dread because deep down I knew it was a bad idea to leave our familiar surroundings, even if it meant that we'd be stuck most of the time in a tiny 60 sq meter apartment (about 650 sq feet). Here we've got better access to hospitals, grocery stores, and other essentials that would have been difficult to manage in a small town.

After day 1 we fell into a routine pretty quickly, and I've stopped counting the days because I'm not going to torture myself, and I'm not winning any awards for staying inside. Under the current rules we are allowed to go outside with an attestation stating why we are outside. You're allowed to walk freely for exercise for one hour per day within a 1 km radius of your home, alone or with people you're quarantining with. (I'm not sure yet how they enforce the 1 hour rule other than on your honor, but now they have a computer generated attestation with a QR code that police will scan if they stop you, so maybe they track that?) Other acceptable reasons for going outside are to go to work, to go to the doctor, to shop at essential shops (grocery stores and pharmacies are open, as well as an assortment of "essential" establishments including tabacs and wine shops), or to help family/friends that fall in the "vulnerable" category. They just passed a ban on daytime running between 10 am and 7 pm, presumably because heavy breathing increases virus transmission, so 7 pm every day looks like a marathon is happening because suddenly everyone's a runner.

So, here we are! Not much has changed in the last month or so, except that tonight we just learned that the confinement is supposed to end on May 11th and kids are going to slowly start going back to school and crèche (fingers crossed!). I go through various stages of grief, but overall I am overwhelmed with how blessed we are, and I do not mean that in any trite way. I am advantaged in a lot of ways, the main one being that I was already a stay at home mom and am used to spending a lot of time 1) at home and 2) with my kids. It can be drudgery for me in my chosen situation on a regular day, so I really feel for the people who were thrown into that scenario and still have to work from home. My kids are doing so well and playing great together, though we have our bad days (also true in non-corona times). Rhoda's schooling has been tricky since I don't speak great French and she's supposed to be studying for a French proficiency diploma, but she's a good sport and only complains sometimes. Thankfully we're on week 2 of spring break so I don't have to think about school again for a few more days. Her teacher is really sweet and made it a point to let everyone know NOT to stress about school, but she's still really prepared and sends a lesson outline with activities every day that makes it easier for me to organize mine and Rhoda's time. Robbie's working from home, which means that I have NO SPACE TO MYSELF. (I'm telling you, our apartment is tiny.) Everyone is eating all the time! ALL THE TIME. Rhoda used to get a huge lunch every day at the school cantine and I really took that for granted!

I'm getting overwhelmed by the amount of text here so I'll just let the pictures speak for themselves.

Ralph's out of diapers! My number one quarantine goal checked off the list.

Everyone's still holding themselves to a very high dress standard when going grocery shopping

Boo is the happiest to have everyone at home all the time. He's never lacking a warm body to snuggle.

One of Rhoda's school assignments. School is fun when you're six!

Ralph during a rare moment when I gave him a specific activity. I just can't trust him alone with any craft materials so I just don't do it! Sorry kid.

Robbie's so happy to have a puzzle companion

Made some masks for grocery store runs and walks outside (tbh I'm not sure if we really need them on walks??)

Lots of scooting during our (almost) daily walks

Another school assignment

Look, I'm a fun mom

Mixed feelings about missing Paris in bloom. My allergies are thanking me for staying indoors.

Ducks at our boulangerie practicing social distancing

Boo loving being Robbie's coworker

A typical scene: crap everywhere and ALWAYS LAUNDRY

Got the kids a huge Duplo set for Easter and I have not had to intervene for the past 48 hours

Easter chez Hamill

Belated Easter egg hunt in our courtyard on Monday afternoon, which was sort of improvised because there are no plastic Easter eggs here! I printed and cut out a bunch of tiny bunny boxes just to see them thrown away after hours of work. Definitely planning ahead for next year and finding some Easter eggs before April...

It feels a bit silly to share regular updates when there isn't anything to update! I'm feeling a little nervous for the next month because I've been using little milestones to look forward to, and I've kind of run out of them now that Easter has passed. But Ralph's birthday is coming up on May 10th and we have a possible end of confinement after that, so fingers crossed that we all stay healthy and happy till then!

bienvenue, again

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Wed, 16 Oct 2019 21:08:00 +0000

Hi again! Remember how I said I was going to be back into blogging this year? I'm just barely making my deadline, because now I'm really back! (Really.) And moving to Paris is as good a reason as any to jump-start my favorite pastime, as it was my main mode of venting the last time we did this. I still love the ease of posting my favorite pictures to Instagram, especially since I don't take nearly as many photos as I did when it was just the two of us and I don't have a lot of photos to sort through (isn't that supposed to be reversed when you have kids?) but I'm getting a little tired of writing really long captions on my phone that are better suited for blog posts. I also need a place to put pictures of things that aren't immortalized on Instagram for my scrapbooks, like this, um, unique lamp found in one of the apartments we toured in Paris:

Oddly enough that was not the weirdest thing in that particular apartment.

I am also positive I will forget someday that a transatlantic move with two kids and a cat is not very fun (reading through my old Paris posts reminded me that I was really not excited to be there most days, which I had forgotten) so I need to write it down to remember why it was crappy and why I can laugh about it now. "It" being things like Ralph getting hand foot and mouth the week before we moved:

That was great. In the weeks before that incident our hard drive crashed and I had to spend the amount of a new computer to recover all of the data that I hadn't backed up (yes I have 100 backup services running now thanks for checking), I spent about a million dollars getting overcharged by our friendly neighborhood vet for services getting Boo ready to move overseas, and Robbie pulled a week of all-nighters finishing up his last work project in Seattle, where he was working for 6 weeks before our move date. Whee!! My parents are amazing and came to Redwood City two times in a month to help us pack up, watch kids while we ran errands, and generally be a source of support during a time that I should have been crying more. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop because I haven't had a meltdown... yet. My kids have though!

Okay but SERIOUSLY. Things are cool! Really. My kids have had a normal amount of melting down for being uprooted at the beginning of the school year from the home that they've known the longest. Kids are very resilient and I'm so grateful for Ralph and Rhoda who are not only resilient but also love all kinds of food and saying "bonjour madame" whenever possible, which are two things that French people love so they're fitting in already. TBH I'm slightly worried about Rhoda, who has developed a fair number of nervous tics in the last week since she started school (French public school deserves its own post) but she is enthusiastic, curious, and generally excited to be doing something new so I think these growing pains are going to be fleeting until they come up in therapy when she's an adult.

Enough typing. How about some pictures? I think these will accurately sum up our first three weeks here.

Amazing view from our hotel in Republique, where we stayed for a week before we moved into our current apartment (which is in the 5th arrondissement... post about our neighborhood and apartment forthcoming!)

I think we logged an average of 12,000-15,000 steps per day during our first week and I'm still napping for recovery

Some murals seen on one of my aforementioned walks, this one in the 13th

Okay, this might only be funny to me but I snuck a picture of our internet technician who came over to check the installation of our fiber setup because he looked old enough that I should be teaching him how to use the internet. Guess those early retirement benefits in France aren't as cushy as they used to be! He also reeked of cigarettes and was missing most of his front teeth. Don't judge a book by its cover because it might have to teach you how to use the internet.

The Jardin des Plantes, which is an enormous garden/museum/zoo situation just a few minutes from our house

Our apartment's parquet floors deserved a shoutout

Many people have asked how Boo has handled the move. We should have moved AGES AGO. He is so much less anxious than when we lived in California! I don't know if the trauma of the move jumpstarted his system but he's way less skittish than he used to be (he's always been super cozy and cuddly with me, but frantically ran out of the room whenever Robbie entered) and spends his days staring at pigeons outside our bedroom window. He is so, so happy.

I took this picture at the end of a day when Ralph was being a real pill and I needed to remind myself that he's still just a squishy baby

A squishy baby who can't resist the urge to climb on everything

Seine walk before dinner (this path is also just a couple minutes from our apartment)

Scooting to church, since it's only a 15 minute walk for us now! We apparently live close to a lot of things.

Last weekend we found out that there is a six year old girl named Sarah living in the apartment above us with her mom, and they also just moved here! She and Rhoda have been exchanging very cute notes and finally met in person this week.

Okay, that's it for now. Hoping that future updates aren't as much an information dump but I knew I needed to get it out there before I forgot more details than I already have!

tell me something good

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Thu, 21 Feb 2019 06:32:00 +0000

I spent a lot of time writing a post about Black History Month and my goals after thinking about this month, but in the end I just deleted all of it. Really the gist of what I want to say is that I can't be a good advocate for or ally to the black community if I'm not informed or listening. So I've spent the bulk of February informing myself and listening, and it's been transformative. I'm still getting back into the idea of my blog as a platform to talk about WHATEVER I WANT, WHENEVER I WANT and I have so many thoughts about the state of race and racism in America and it really is on my mind all day. But I don't know how to talk about it coherently yet, so we'll start here.

I have never purposefully excluded black authors or stories about black people in my reading but I've never actively sought it out, so my goal for 2019 was to read one book per month by an author of color. February's not even over yet, I've read five books already (I think I read five books in all of 2018, yikes), and I'm excited to keep the momentum going.

I wanted to share some of what I've been reading/listening to/consuming—maybe you'll find something in here that will help change your perspective too.

READ (ed. note: these are the books I've read so far this year so it's not at all an exhaustive list; for more POC titles I've read/want to read you can see my Goodreads list here):

Becoming by Michelle Obama (I didn't think this one would be as impactful for me as it was but it really set a good tone for my goal)
The Origins of Others by Toni Morrison
Mama Day by Gloria Naylor
Salvage the Bones by Jesmyn Ward
The Underground Railroad by Colson Whitehead
The People Could Fly by Virginia Hamilton (this is a folktale illustrated for kids but oh man I cried when I was reading it to Rhoda)

LISTEN:

these episodes from The Nod: The Fugitive; Nobody Looks Like Me; Kunta Thinks You're Funny (LaVar Burton!!!); The Hairstons; and for fun, because this episode made me laugh out loud multiple times, YouTube Conspiracy Theories (Mom, you probably won't think it's funny :)
these episodes from On Being: Let's Talk About Whiteness with Eula Biss; Civic Spiritual Evolution with Cory Booker; The Spirituals with Joe Carter (this one was... So Good)
this episode from TED Radio Hour: Comfort Zone (especially the segments with Luvvie Ajayi and Ann Morgan, the latter is what inspired me to set an actual goal to read books by non-white authors)

FOLLOW:

Black Coffee with White Friends on Instagram for well-curated tidbits, musings and insights about black culture. Can't recommend this one enough—if you don't read/listen to anything else on this list at least follow this account!

Tell me what you're reading/listening to/consuming, and let's talk about it.

are you there, blog? it's me, hannah

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Wed, 09 Jan 2019 05:57:00 +0000

At some point in 2018 I realized that I really missed blogging. I love Instagram, but it's become a 100% blog substitute and I've been missing spilling my guts on my blog. I also miss being FUNNY, which I had forgotten that I was (I WAS) and Instagram just isn't that funny most of the time. I also miss reading long form blog posts from my real life friends and not just the ones from my pretend friend. At some point in college/grad school I remember feeling a little bit sad and vulnerable once my original blog readership began to extend well beyond Eliza (my sister), Kate (my childhood friend), and Nicole Winkleman (RU STILL OUT THERE NICOLE??) but I think that it's safe to say that my readership has dwindled back to early 2000s levels after a healthy dose of neglect. Thank you to Eliza and Kate who are still reading (AND POSTING!) after all these years, and who have both stuck with the original URLs that were inspired by their high school nicknames.

SPEAKING OF ALL THESE YEARS: my very first blog post was published almost exactly 17 years ago on January 16th, 2002. It is the longest I've ever held onto a habit! Please excuse me for the 18 month hiatus I took after Ralph was born. Those were dark days! Robbie started traveling Monday through Thursday when Ralph was still an infant, and that plus having an extra kid around just changed a lot of my habits, perspective, desires... everything really. I don't mind the travel like I used to—I have some coping mechanisms, which I'll likely delve into in future posts—but being alone most nights has made it very easy for me to get stuck in bed scrolling my phone rather than being a contributor. I've become a lurker! The very thing I used to scorn!

Most importantly, I would like to retain the moral superiority of someone who joined Blogger pre-Google acquisition and used to have to manually embed comment windows in my blog HTML, so I guess I need to continue to maintain my presence here rather than reminisce about the good old days of blogging in my parents' family room.

Anyway, while I think about what I'm going to write about I'll just leave you with a 5:40 minute summary of 2018, which has been conveniently captured by the 1 Second Everyday app. Which, incidentally, was first introduced to me by Kate and Eliza. Moral of the story: STICK WITH KATE AND ELIZA.

a baby story

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Thu, 27 Jul 2017 06:06:00 +0000

I'm emerging from the dark days of Ralph's newborn phase and I'm finally ready to write down Ralph's birth story. Man! The first two months hit me like a ton of bricks this time around. With Rhoda, my hardest months were months 2-4, and with Ralph it was months 0-2. When you have an older kid at home to pay attention to (and for your help to pay attention to), you just don't get as much rest as you do when people come to help and can just hold the baby while you sleep. That, or I just don't remember how hard it actually was with Rhoda. And, of course, both scenarios could be true.

Something else different this time around was that Robbie wrote up my birth story last time when Rhoda was about a week old. The thought of either of us having enough time to do that this time around cracks me up.

So! Let's start from the beginning. Actually, let's start with me saying that I really wanted to let things progress as naturally as possible with this birth like I did with Rhoda's, except without it lasting 20 hours in the hospital. Thankfully I had an amazing and experienced doula, a small community-ish hospital (it used to be a community hospital and still feels that way so it still counts), and a nice OB who let me do my thing even if he secretly thought I was crazy. I should also mention that my OB has baby-related comics on the ceiling above the exam table in his office and wears a lapel pin of a cartoon uterus on his white coat. Let me know if you want his number.

The beginning.
At my 40 week appointment (a Monday), my OB started stressing me out by telling me that I needed to schedule an induction. He was pushing for 41 weeks but I pushed back and told him that Rhoda was born at 41 weeks and I just think that my babies need a little more time to be ready to come out. So I scheduled an induction for May 23rd, which felt like a million years away at the time and I just knew that I wasn't going to go to 42 weeks. I also didn't feel like I was going to have the baby on my due date (Narrator: "She did.") and I was just going to enjoy my last week of insomnia and being large and in charge. Then my OB offered to sweep my membranes to get things going, which I was hesitant about and probably should have listened to my gut on that one? Long story short for those who aren't as familiar with birth, sweeping your membranes is just one way to maybe or maybe not kickstart labor, and the membranes in question are the membranes of your amniotic sac and I didn't want my water to break since I was Group B Strep positive (again) and that would mean that I'd be closely monitored to avoid infection if my water broke.

But, I didn't listen to my gut, and I let my doctor sweep my membranes, and the rest of the day was just kind of uncomfortable and I was regretting doing it and stressing about it. Since I was under the care of midwives in a hospital with Rhoda, I really didn't deal with them stressing about going overdue and so I wrote my doula a long-winded email about how I was stressed and didn't know how to deal with it and she was like "I'm sorry this is new and confusing for you, call me in the morning and we can talk about it."

And then. In the morning I had that familiar pregnant feeling of "did I pee my pants or did my water break?" Except I had no idea because my water didn't break at the beginning of labor with Rhoda. I spent the entire day asking myself and calling my doula and possibly walking through Target with a giant wet spot on the back of my pants because I really needed some last minute things at Target if my water really HAD broken. I also didn't want to call my doctor because if my water HAD broken they'd make me come in right away, but I hadn't gone into labor yet. So I kinda played dumb when I FINALLY called the hospital at 6 pm that night after my doula told me that I shouldn't wait until morning and was like "I need you to check and see if my water broke or I'm just incontinent." Fortunately my OB was the doctor on call and he gave me the reassuring over-the-phone assessment of "based on what you're describing, it doesn't sound like your water broke!" (Narrator: "It had.")

The hospital.
So, my amazing doula Eva came over and drove me to the hospital, which is a five minute drive up the street, and Robbie stayed home to put Rhoda to bed. Once the nurses confirmed that my water had broken, they told me I had to stay (boo) and see if labor would get started on its own. (Narrator: "It didn't.") They gave me the option of starting Pitocin (which would kickstart contractions) or Cytotec (which would thin out my cervix) that night or waiting till the morning, and I opted to go with Cytotec, in the hopes that would kickstart contractions naturally, and to wait till the morning so I could get some sleep. Neither of those scenarios was ideal, since both Cytotec and Pitocin have potential side effects that can complicate delivery, and I was pretty anxious about it. After consulting with Eva and Robbie I decided that considering the circumstances that we'd made the right decision and I came to terms with it. Eva left once Robbie showed up around 10 pm, and also at this point I'd like to give a shoutout to my dear friend Christa who came over and spent the night and then took Rhoda to her house the next day. Figuring out babysitting for your kid is the worst part about planning your second birth.

Another note, the two things I told my doula that I wanted to avoid this time around were laboring in the hospital for a long time and being hooked up to fetal monitors for the whole time. Ha! I got that and then some this time around. In fact, I was in the hospital for longer than I was with Rhoda (24 hours from admitting to birth), but at least I wasn't in labor for that entire time.

I actually started thinking about writing up this story yesterday when my "calming" labor playlist came up on Spotify and I was transported to the hospital bed where I was hooked up to beeping fetal monitors and trying to fall asleep. Listen to Philip Glass' Einstein on the Beach and tell me that won't put you right to sleep. (Narrator: "It didn't.") All it got me was "I LOVE YOU MORE THAN TONGUE CAN TELL. YOU ARE THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE! MY SUN, MOON, AND STARS. YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING. WITHOUT YOU, I HAVE NO REASON FOR BEING" stuck in my head (go to the 3:30 mark of the song).

So after neither of us slept all that well (and after a nurse came in at 1 am and said "Good morning! Are you ready for your Cytotec?") I got started on penicillin (for the Group B Strep) and Cytotec at 6 am. Robbie and I got familiar with the tiny maternity floor since we weren't allowed to walk anywhere else. Fortunately there is one window on the floor where you can look out on the valley and it's really pretty...? Yeah, we were both pretty bored. I honestly don't know what we did from 6 am to 12 pm, when Eva came. I re-watched some Doctor Who (the episode was "The Impossible Astronaut," which maybe like two people in my readership could appreciate, nothing like The Silence to get you into labor), ate some gross hospital food, chatted with one of my nurses who was really nice and hung out with me for an hour, and totally pretended like I wasn't in the hospital when people texted me.

The labor.

Side note, Robbie took this picture somewhere in the middle of labor and I'm so glad he did. This is what having a baby feels like. What I'm not glad about is the video he took of me saying "DOOOOOWN... OOOUUUUUT..." in a low, guttural voice (and doing so caused me to lose my voice a bit the next day). My laboring self sounds like The Hulk. I will never be able to listen to me sounding like that if I'm not in labor.

As I mentioned, Eva came to relieve us from our boredom around noon. I'll say it again, Eva Roodman is my favorite person ever. I know she was getting paid to do what I asked her to but I wonder if doulas secretly hate being called by their clients to come and hang out with them when the hospital gets boring. In reality I was starting to show signs of active labor and feeling a little more uncomfortable, so it was probably a good time for her to come anyway. Around 1 pm I started having to concentrate on my contractions and the next seven hours until delivery are kind of a blur. Actually, that's not true. Even though I was in the zone during my contractions, I was completely aware of what was going on the rest of the time, which was a totally different experience from Rhoda's birth! I was just so exhausted with her birth that my time between contractions was spent taking tiny naps.

This time, Robbie and my doula were totally in sync with how to help me cope with contractions. It was amazing! Both of my babies have been posterior (facing up), so back labor was an issue again. Robbie and Eva got a major workout squeezing my hips and passing me tiny snacks. I asked them not to tell me how far dilated I was so that I wouldn't get discouraged, and that was a great choice. I could tell that I was stalling at 4 cm (AGAIN), but I learned from my first labor that I needed to get up and change whatever I was doing instead of laying prostrate on the hospital bed and hoping it would pass eventually. I sat on the labor ball, I labored on my hands and knees on a yoga mat that Eva brought (genius!), I sat backwards on the toilet (I HATE LABORING ON THE TOILET), I stood in the shower (THE BLESSED SHOWER, I loved the shower), and laid in a terribly uncomfortable position called a "Texas roll" to try and get the baby to flip face down. (Narrator: "It didn't.")

The last couple of hours of labor are a little foggy for me but I do vividly remember pretending like I was Rocky Balboa and Eva was Mick while she would put my water bottle straw in the side of my mouth and make me take sips in between contractions. I also remember telling Eva that I really did NOT want to lay down anymore and that I NEEDED to get in the shower. This proved to be an excellent mind-body connection moment for me, as I ended up standing in the shower for like an hour and a half and I progressed from a 4 to an 8 or 9. Woof! That was definitely the craziest part for me, but I FELT the baby flip from face up to face down while I was in the shower. Contractions got infinitely more manageable after that. Also, I had a bruise on my forehead from banging my head on the shower wall during contractions. I do not remember thinking this would be a terrible idea while I was actually doing it.

Once I was that far dilated, they wouldn't let me stand in the shower any more, so they said they'd call my OB and get me set up on the bed. At this point I was refusing to lay back down because I didn't want the baby to turn again. So I basically ignored the nurse and just stayed on my hands and knees. Also, she was telling me not to push and I almost punched her in the face. I think Dr. Hoff showed up around 7:30, and waiting for him to show up felt like an eternity. He also informed us while he was stitching me up that he had been at home finishing up La La Land.

After four contractions, I had a baby! And again I was nosy and looked to see if it was a boy or girl before Robbie had a chance to announce it!

Giant newborn hands = the best

This is me, the only one awake at 11 pm, since Robbie told me that he was "so exhausted" after my labor and passed out once all the people left our room

Ralph David Hamill was born at 7:59 pm on his due date, May 10th, weighing 8 lbs 8 oz (!!!) and measuring 20.5 inches long. From the beginning he's proven to be a very particular sleeper and a ravenous nurser. I am not one to fall in love with my babies the second they come out, but at almost three months postpartum I'm pretty smitten with little Ralphie's chubby cheeks and generous smiles.

Birth is the coolest and weirdest thing. It was a lot easier than my first baby in many ways, and harder in others. So, SO many things were different this time. Even though the induction method was more subtle than, say, Pitocin, it definitely brought on heavy contractions seemingly out of nowhere, where Rhoda's birth was much more drawn out. From start to finish (minus my water breaking, I don't count that since I wasn't having contractions that I could really feel) this time took 7 hours, and Rhoda's birth was 30 hours. 30 hours! I don't know how I did it. Even though it was much shorter, I remember feeling like I could do it again after Rhoda was born, but after Ralph was born I was like "eh, I could be done now." Hahaha.

But really, I think I could do it again. At this rate, maybe my next blog post will be my next birth story so I guess we'll find out eventually!

dear internet, i had a baby in may

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Sat, 22 Jul 2017 04:43:00 +0000

it's been a busy fall

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Tue, 25 Oct 2016 20:53:00 +0000

Cuddling with your new kitten just takes up a lot of time, guys!

one crazy summer

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Tue, 23 Aug 2016 22:52:00 +0000

This has been a crazy summer. Last time you heard from me we were in the middle of packing up and moving and our house looked like this for the week before graduation:

So accurate. Rhoda just watching TV all day while we packed up and ran errands and cried a little inside for leaving Philly. Thanks be to my mom for coming to hang out for a week and watching Rhoda while I got a dent in the packing and to Robbie's parents who drove with Robbie cross-country with all our worldly possessions. Next time I really hope we just spring for professional movers and save us all the physical/emotional toll of moving.

Then, there was graduation!!

It was such a great day. The group picture is Robbie with his Lauder classmates at the end of their informal graduation ceremony after the big Wharton ceremony. Robbie traveled/lived with them and since there are only like 60 people in the Lauder class (compared to the 900 in the Wharton class) it was just really easy to get to know all of them better and they were some of our closest friends in Philly. I cried at the end of the day because I felt like we didn't get enough time with all of our friends before we had to leave (THE NEXT DAY). But, packing beckons I guess.

Us on the front steps of our house on Pine Street just before I turned in our keys. Sob, sob. Fortunately I just had to drive down to Virginia to spend the week with Eliza before flying out to California so that didn't really feel like I was *really* permanently moving...

I was in town just in time to go to Ida's "Grandfriends Day" at her school, which meant I got to eat snacks and sit in a tiny chair next to her desk and just see what an afternoon at Ida's school is like. It was super cute. Also Ida asking me if I wanted to go made me melt a little.

Rhoda and I flew with Eliza and Polly to LA for my niece's mission farewell, which was great. I love hanging out in Malibu on a beautiful summer weekend and I love hanging out with my siblings. I think we've really hit our stride in adulthood. We also got to visit my two grandmas—Grandma Helen (above) is turning 101 next week! I also spent the week in Monrovia while Robbie was in Boston for work training, and after he got back we drove up to Redwood City together and started unpacking.

Somewhere in there I went to my sister Phoebe's house in Oregon to babysit her three younger kids for the week while she was on trek. These pictures pretty accurately sum up the week (passing the time with Snapchat + driving a minivan).

When Phoebe got back we flew down to LA together to go to my Grandma Mary's funeral. She passed away less than a week after I left Monrovia. She had been very ill with bone cancer that she was diagnosed with in January and her body finally succumbed to the cancer months later. I was really happy that she was fairly coherent during both of our visits while I was home, but I was also really relieved that she was going to be free from suffering after all that time. I still can't believe how well she was handling such a tremendous amount of physical pain. The funeral was amazing and honored her memory so well. I miss her a lot and think of her every day.

Settling in to life here has been really great. The first month with all the travel and the emotional state I was in after my grandma died was a little crazy but we've hit a pretty good groove. I've been SUPER busy! Everyone's busy but I'm not used to being this busy with a kid at home. I started working from home super part time for a small business in Philly, and I also decided to start taking piano students and I've got two (!) starting in a couple of weeks. And then Rhoda starts preschool next month (!!). I hadn't been planning on putting her in preschool till next year because she's not 3 till November but Robbie and I talked about it for a long time and we both decided it was going to be best for all of us. Also, preschool here = $$ = I needed to add to our family's income so it all worked out pretty well.

Some other pictures of life here...

Rhoda dressed how my grandmas dress (no, seriously)

A little Sunday stroll/dinner at Mori Point

Major perk of living in the RWC—my cousin Karl and his wife Laura (and their awesome dog Louie) live like 10 minutes away and we see them all the time. It's the best.

Another major perk—living by lots of dear old friends and getting to hang out with them whenever we want! For some reason everyone just wants to live here. I invite all of you to follow their example so we can be neighbors.

My parents came for a visit (that's my dad hidden under that yellow blanket—why is he so tiny) and it coincided with Robbie's birthday. Also, my dad helped me with like a dozen house projects. Thanks, Dad.

And I leave you with this picture of Rhoda who somehow made it to the floor one night in her sleep. I'm feeling the same way after this update. Phew! See you guys in six months!

this jawn's for you

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Sat, 14 May 2016 19:25:00 +0000

Rhoda and Steve Powers' newest mural, Philadelphia

We are moving on Monday and I'm in mourning. The end of an era! The end of our east coast life! (As far as I know...) Philadelphia has been our favorite city we've lived in so far (sorry DC—but at least you win the jackpot on providing the best friends we've ever made). We only got two years in Philly (minus four months of intern/school-related travel) and it was just not enough time to get to do everything we wanted to. Some of the things I'm going to miss about the City of Brotherly Love:

The accent. The Philly accent is so weird and incomprehensible at times but it's so awesome. I now know to say we're going "down the shore" rather than going "to the beach." I felt like I finally arrived when I heard a high school age kid say to his friend "you left your jawn right there" AND I KNEW EXACTLY WHAT HE MEANT.

Pizza. Joe Beddia told Robbie that Philly is at the end of the "pizza belt" and so we just aren't lacking in good pizza around here and in the immediate vicinity (NYC, duh). I love the pizza here. I even love room-temperature tomato pie. Some of my faves, in no particular order—Pizza Brain, Pizzeria Stella, Pizzeria Beddia, Pizzeria Vetri, Capofitto. Thank you for all the carbs you've given me, Philly.

Hoagies (not sandwiches). I'm gonna miss a good hoagie.

Guys who ride dirt bikes and ATVs through the city. Really I guess if I'm ever feeling nostalgic I can watch Creed again.

98.1 WOGL. If you're from Los Angeles you have a certain expectation that the radio is good everywhere you go (it's not) but I became really committed to the radio here, especially my two favorite oldies/classic rock stations. It seems much more authentic to listen to Bruce Springsteen, Billy Joel, and Hall and Oates out here and I'm going to miss that sense of superiority. On 98.1 they do a vacation a day giveaway to the Caribbean and I listen to the radio SO much that I really should have started entering the contest a long time ago and I probably would have had a good chance of winning, like Uncle Frank. You live, you learn.

Trees and green everything. Leaving the East Coast when it's showing off the most is tough, but at least the weather is absolutely perfect and we aren't feeling bitter about seasons.

Proximity to everywhere else. Transatlantic flights are cheaper, states are smaller and easier to road trip through. You'll be out driving through Pennsylvania and depending on the direction you're going all of a sudden you're in Delaware and then five minutes later you're in Maryland! Or you're in New Jersey just after crossing a river. I didn't get that kind of exposure to other states until I was like twelve. California's just so... big.

Art everywhere. On Instagram I've professed my love of the Mural Arts Program many, many times. There are sculptures in every neighborhood and park and mosaic murals all over South Philly. It's a great place to feel inspired.

The ambience. I don't know how else to describe this. Philly has a distinct culture that you can feel just walking around. With all due respect to mumbo sauce and go-go, I never felt this way in DC because the federal government has such a huge presence that overshadows any local culture. Philly just has a really great vibe and a lot of people who have had family here for generations. Plus, it's super old. Even the ghetto parts of Philly are somewhat charming because the houses aren't just run down—they're historic and run down! I believe this is what people mean when they tell me "I just love Philadelphia/DC! There's just so much history!"

Walking! Argh, I'm going to miss walking. We walk everywhere because most times it's too inconvenient to drive our car. People talk to you all the time because everyone is always out walking. We don't have a driveway here so we have to find parking anywhere in our neighborhood (which was also the case in DC), and street parking can get pretty scarce here, especially when you're cruising around on a Friday night after 7 pm. I often take my guru Stephanie Soper's advice and envision a parking spot in front of my house and most times it works! Thanks to seven years of street parking, I am an amazing parallel parker now. Let me park your car for you—I'm a parking magician.

The terrible drivers and potholes. Just kidding! I won't miss that.

I know I'm missing a lot of things in my love letter to Philly but I think you get the idea. Obviously California has something to offer for everything I'll miss (abundant Mexican food rather than abundant pizza, 90s/00s rap instead of classic rock, perfect weather year round instead of just four months of the year, better drivers and a driveway, etc.) but I'm just going through the stages of grief right now before we get into the swing of things in our new Best Coast life. I love you, Philly.

rhoda at 2.5

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Thu, 12 May 2016 15:30:00 +0000

I've been meaning to write a post about Rhoda's best quotes for quite some time now. She talks SO much and says the weirdest things—it's hard to keep track of them all. Here are the ones I've remembered to write down over the past few months—just picture her saying them in her super deep voice:

-In our bed one snowy morning: "Wow! That polka dot is snow!"

-Overhearing that Robbie is going on an airplane: "Dada, you should eat Goldfish on the plane" (Rhoda thinks that one cannot fly on a plane without Goldfish)

-After taking a bite of dinner: "It's good, babe!"

-Whenever she wants to get ready for the day she says "I want to get dressed time"

-This doesn't happen as much anymore (which is SO sad) but whenever Rhoda trips and falls she'll laugh nervously and say "Whoa, that was me!"

-Rhoda's obsessed with The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh and for a long time she thought the theme song went "Me and Pooh, me and Pooh" and she'd walk around singing it over and over

-One night at family prayer Rhoda was playing with my hair and said, "I want to take this to bed. I can wear Mom's hair, and she can wear my hair." Weirdo.

-In the book The Runaway Bunny there's a scene where the runaway bunny runs away to a circus and he's on a flying trapeze and the mother bunny is a tightrope walker, but every time Rhoda points out that the mother bunny is on a "rope tight walk." Not going to correct that one, ever.

-Rhoda inverts a lot of words and phrases—my personal favorites are when she says "got for" instead of "forgot" ("Mama! We got for to say the prayer!") and "used be to" instead of "used to be." Also she says "because" in the wrong context all the time. I call it her flavoring word because she just throws it into sentences whenever she feels like it.

2.5 is a pretty golden age. Though Rhoda's not currently throwing any tantrums so it's probably easy for me to say that right now...

the end of an era

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Mon, 11 Apr 2016 18:48:00 +0000

I started putting Rhoda in cloth diapers when she was around three months old. I don't have strong opinions on cloth diapers—in DC, at least, there were a lot of "normal" moms that put their kids in cloth diapers so I didn't feel like I was standing out too much or trying to make a statement. It was just somewhat convenient at the time. I also put Rhoda in disposable diapers at night and while we were traveling so it's not like I was anti-disposable. I guess we decided to go with cloth because it's supposedly cheaper than using disposable diapers, but I never did the math to figure it out. Really though what I like about cloth diapers is that they are So Cute. Maybe that's a terrible reason to be on board but come on! How can you deny the cuteness of little baby thighs and a cloth-clad bum:

Anyway, I've been feeling nostalgic for Rhoda's diaper bum because we potty trained her last weekend! No accidents after day three or so, so I'm going to go ahead and call it a success. Doubly so because the amount of laundry I was doing during the diaper days has gone down by half. Every day I feel like I'm missing something and then I realize "oh... I'M NOT WASHING DIAPERS." It's a good feeling to see her so independent and proud of her new skill, but I do miss my chubby baby. Not the laundry though.

easter sewing with mingo & grace

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Wed, 30 Mar 2016 02:53:00 +0000

I made some Easter dresses!

In a perfect world, I would have a sewing blog where I'd post all of my recent projects. But I don't! So maybe if I start posting them here, then I'll create a dedicated space for them... eventually.

One of my goals this year was to make a pattern that I've never tried before, since I've gotten comfortable sewing the same knit patterns over and over. Which isn't really bad, since those patterns are so versatile, but I'm trying to up my sewing game a bit. I'd been admiring the Blake dress by Mingo & Grace for a long time, and when I saw that Farrah added a women's version to her shop last fall (with lots of variations—pleats, gathers, sleeveless, etc.) I knew that some mother/daughter matching was in order. I tested out Rhoda's version a few weeks ago with a knit version made out of some darling and very cheap fabric from my cheap fabric mecca, Jomar (another huge reason I'll miss Philly) and it wasn't hard at all to make, even with my newly developed sewing prowess. I had to unpick lots of seams and re-read the instructions a few times but overall it came out really well and Rhoda loves it. I'm also happy that it's a versatile dress for all seasons—she's worn the knit version with a cardigan and with a striped long sleeved tee underneath, and in the summer it'll be cute on its own with some sandals.

So, onto these particular dresses—I sewed them up in a pretty rose Essex linen from Fabric.com. I washed and dried the fabric before I cut it out and it came out really soft. It's a heavy enough linen that it doesn't need to be lined, but the women's version calls for a lined bodice and I think it lends a nice finished quality. The girl's pattern has the option of finishing with lining or with bias tape (I did bias tape for the knit version) and I really like the lining version better. Plus, I'm not sure that I did the bias tape right, so don't look too closely next time you see her wearing it. According to the pattern measurements I should have been a 6 on top and a 10 on bottom (?) but I did the whole thing in a 6 (after making a very quick muslin out of the skirt and double checking) and the waist fit fine. I have really broad shoulders so it's a little narrower on top than it should have been, which is a bummer—it's not bad for ease of movement, but it looks a little off in person. I really need to figure out how to fix that kind of thing! (I'm guessing a muslin is the answer, wah wah.) Also, I need to figure out how to master invisible zippers. I had beginner's luck the very first time I sewed an invisible zipper a few years ago when I wasn't as much of a seamstress, and it was just so hard for me this time. Sadly, Rhoda's zipper broke and I'll need to replace it—but fortunately it happened as she was getting in her car seat on the way home from church. Silver linings.

I'm obsessed with these dresses—as is Rhoda, who kept talking about her special pink dress the week leading up to Easter. I was afraid they'd come out kinda blah but I was so pleasantly surprised. And I'm also obsessed with Mingo & Grace! Farrah's style is very classic but with a nice modern take, so I definitely see myself buying more of her dress patterns in the future. Hopefully she'll add more adult patterns so I can match Rhoda more often than I already do :)

i know it's gonna be a lovely day

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Wed, 30 Mar 2016 02:14:00 +0000

Sigh, DC:

Since we're leaving the east coast soon I'm hurrying to soak up all the perks that spring in the east has to offer. Everyone keeps reminding me that California is really beautiful all the time, but that's the beauty of spring out here! It's not beautiful here all the time, and feeling the renewal of spring here is really an amazing feeling. Especially when it's randomly 80 degrees in March, as has happened a few times this month.

I drove down to DC last Friday with my friend Ashlie and our kids in the hopes that we could get some good blossom-peeping in. I haven't been to the Tidal Basin as a tourist before and usually walked there from our house or work, so I wasn't prepared for the traffic on a beautiful day that also happened to be Good Friday, but I think it was worth the quick trip. We also got to meet up with my dear friend Linnea (who took these beautiful pictures) and her sweet daughter Annika.

So skeptical.

I wish I could bottle up days like this.

whatcha got cookin'?

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Wed, 02 Mar 2016 01:28:00 +0000

I mentioned earlier that my 2016 resolution is to try making one new recipe a week. (I'm still doing a book a week—I have plans to write a post about that too!) I've mentioned this to a few people who are curious about this venture and ask me what I've been doing to keep up my goal so I thought I'd share some tips and some of my favorite recipes I've made so far this year.

First of all, you have to have a good weekly game plan. This might be a no-brainer for some people but Robbie and I have been married almost eight years and before this year I'd never made a meal plan. Before we got married I subsisted primarily on quesadillas and black bean burritos and that didn't transition well into meal-planning for two. It was made worse by the fact that Robbie is an exceptionally good cook and really enjoys it, so I usually left him to it. I also started full time work and grad school soon after we got married so it just fell by the wayside for a while. Now I'm at a phase in my life where it makes the rest of my everyday activities easier if I just take some time to plan. I bought myself a tiny dry-erase weekly calendar at Target that hangs in our kitchen and I take great pleasure in filling it in and erasing it every week. It's the little things.

Outsourcing your grocery shopping is a great way to cut down some of your meal-planning tasks

The next part of your game plan should include deciding when you go grocery shopping. Once I picked a day to do it every week it just got easier. Living in a city where the grocery store isn't all that easy to get to means I really have to plan ahead of time if I don't want to keep getting overpriced canned goods at a corner grocery store. The main grocery store options here are Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, and Amazon Fresh (or some other food delivery service of your choosing). Or I can pay a $5 toll and drive into New Jersey to go to Wegman's, which everyone loves but I'm just as content with Trader Joe's (Monrovia pride?) and I've gotten used to their weird inventory after many years of shopping there almost exclusively. We did Amazon Fresh for a while when we had a free trial membership but the groceries are just so much more expensive and I prefer to choose my own produce and brands. At any rate, I realize that's not a concern for a lot of people but now you know how the other half lives—too many expensive bougey grocery options to choose from over here. Rhoda's pretty easy to shop with but I still do my shopping on Thursdays while she's at play school. Mostly because it's a set day where I have two hours to myself and it's enough time to get something done but not anything really ambitious.

So I realize that all that information is definitely not news to most people (grocery shopping for a family in an urban area is no joke) so let's get to the good part—where do I get ideas of what to make next? I am active on Pinterest and keep a fairly well-updated inventory of food I want to try making (here and here), and I also keep track of food that I've made (here) with some notes about things I liked/didn't like/changed about the recipe. My absolute favorite resource is Smitten Kitchen. I'm convinced that Deb Perelman can do no wrong. She is great at updating Instagram as well with seasonally appropriate recipes so you don't have to sift through a decade's worth of yummy-looking recipes on her blog. Since I spend a lot of time on Instagram I get lots of my food ideas from her updates and pin them for later. My other favorite resources are physical cookbooks—Cook's Illustrated, America's Test Kitchen, and Dinner: A Love Story (also a blog) have some pretty solid finds for average home cooks. You should have these in your arsenal if you're a regular mom who likes food that kids like but taste good for adults too (though Cook's Illustrated is arguably a bit more bougey).

Some of my 2016 makes that you should try (that I just realized aren't very vegetarian-friendly... sorry Kate):

Millionaire Bars—these are basically homemade Twix and worth the effort. I made these at my brother's house over New Years and my SIL had all the ingredients in her pantry so we were like, why not? All the stirring and boiling wasn't as tedious because I was in a big kitchen and had better tools at my disposal. But like I said, none of that matters because the bars are so good. My mom, dad, Robbie and I polished off a pan of these in 24 hours and that might not have been the best way to ring in the new year.

Tomato and Sausage Risotto—SO GOOD. Flavorful and relatively easy, even if you have to stir the risotto for a long time. Always worth it. Also worth it is not omitting the white wine in the recipe. As a non-wine drinker I usually end up omitting wine in recipes but then our friend told me that you can buy mini bottles of wine, which is great because 1) they're about the size you usually need for a recipe, and 2) you can refrigerate them after you open them and use them for a future recipe. Don't omit the wine, people.

Great-Grandma Turano's Meatballs—Robbie loved this one. It's such a guy recipe. The sauce is so good and this meal could feed an army. If you only have three people in your house like we do, you can save the leftovers for meatball subs.

Momofuku's Bo Ssam—this requires a little extra effort because some of the ingredients are kind of obscure (but easily attainable at your local Asian market... if you have one) but it's great for feeding a crowd. It just requires slow-roasting a huge pork butt in your oven for 6 hours and serving it with rice and lettuce. Pretty darn good. Leftovers also make great sandwiches!

Belgian Brownie Cakelets—heaven.

Lentil Soup with Sausage, Chard, and Garlic—I'm just really into Italian sausage these days. I blame/thank Philly for that. I subbed the chard for spinach in this one and it was tasty. Also I'd use all four links of sausage instead of the recommended two.

Potato, Garlic and Leek Soup—I just made this last weekend when Robbie's sister came into town and it was a hit. I have a few similar recipes in my "I Made This" folder but this had a little more flavor and the pancetta bread crumbs were extra awesome.

Mulligatawny Soup—you can probably tell we're a big soup family. I was super into this one. Robbie made naan from a recipe in Cook's Illustrated and it was a hit. Rhoda ate it without any resistance.

Sizzling Fajitas—I also made these for a crowd, when the Selanders came to town and my friend Sui Lang popped by for dinner the same night (I think I doubled it for that many people). Huge crowd pleaser and not a ton of effort for big impact.

Oven-braised Beef with Tomato and Garlic—SO EASY. I just made this on Sunday. Robbie doesn't love most pot roasts because they're dry, but this one was really moist and flavorful. The orzo was also a nice touch.

Those recipes really are just the tip of the iceberg but you can see a few other favorites on my Pinterest page, as I mentioned earlier. For those who are not as into meat treats there are lots of veggie-heavy hits on there that were in the rotation before 2016, like Chickpeas with Chard and Pan-Roasted Tomatoes, Grown-Up Grilled Cheese Sandwich (ok that's a REALLY good one), and Spinach and Chickpeas.

Also, in case you think you're not capable of picking a new recipe to try each week, I have to admit to you that I eat a quesadilla almost every day for lunch and we make pizza for dinner at least one night a week—pizza that doesn't even have veggies or anything redeeming on it as a topping. Also, my kitchen is about as big as a handicapped bathroom stall. I laugh at Pinterest posts that highlight "small" kitchens that are two or three times the size of mine, but that's what I get for living in 100 year-old houses. I'm cool with it.

I believe in you, reader. If you're in a rut, just try one new recipe a week so you're not so overwhelmed and do everything else you usually do the rest of the week. And if you have any good recipes you think I should have, PLEASE share them with me.

my name is jonas

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Thu, 04 Feb 2016 22:52:00 +0000

So I mentioned that we had an epic snow storm a couple of weeks ago, which reminded me that having a huge snow storm and subsequent snow days are things I'll miss a lot about east coast living. Granted, I've only experienced snow days as a government employee and a mom of a kid that isn't in school yet, so the novelty hasn't worn off on me yet. The novelty really starts wearing off a few days later when you're trying to get around town and you discover that not everyone has been as diligent as you have about shoveling your sidewalk. PEOPLE! Please just shovel your sidewalks. Do it for the strollers.

The snow storm (aka Winter Storm Jonas) started on a Friday night and didn't let up until late Saturday night—here was the view we woke up to (after Robbie shoveled our back steps):

The snowfall was timed perfectly because the wind had let up quite a bit in the morning before nap time, so we bundled up and headed to play in the snow at Rittenhouse Square (a few blocks from our house).

Really uncertain about snow pants at first, but warmed up to them later (she wanted to wear them pretty much every day the next week)

sleigh ride from Hannah Hamill on Vimeo.

We happened to walk outside when our neighbors were coming back inside with a rickety old sled, which Robbie pulled us on all the way to the park (Rhoda wouldn't sit on the sled by herself for more than a few seconds). Probably the best way to get around a city in a snow storm, especially with no cars on the road.

This is how you play in the snow, right?

Picking up some snow storm nourishment at a cafe

snow shoveling from Hannah Hamill on Vimeo.

Rhoda spent over an hour outside with Robbie while he shoveled our walk, which was awesome. She couldn't get enough of it! Also I can't get enough of toddler snow pants bum.

art museum sledding from Hannah Hamill on Vimeo.

The next day we trudged through the snow to the Philadelphia Art Museum steps, where it's a tradition to sled after a big storm. The best sledding/snowboarding/biking? happened during the actual storm—I heard there were 400-500 people there! Not even close to as many people showed up when we were there, but the weather was pretty much perfect and we got in some sled time thanks to a nice man who lent us a sled to test out. Not the most comfortable sled ride in my experience, but it was fun! I was super jealous of our DC friends who got to experience sledding down Capitol Hill (which was never allowed during the years we lived there), but at least we got to check the steps off our Philly to-do list.

And now, the snow is melted except for some dirty chunks hiding out in the shade on a few corners that probably won't go away till April. Gotta love winter.

new year, new me

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Wed, 03 Feb 2016 19:21:00 +0000

(this is what you get when you question my blogging habits, ROBBIE)

Robbie has mentioned several times over the past few months that I have given in and let Instagram take the place of my blog. I guess that is kind of true, as my blog had started turning into a travelogue and Rhoda updates, which is not what it started out as fourteen (!!!) years ago. Yes, my bloggerversary came and went again this month without any fanfare. And yet the world keeps turning.

I've been thinking a lot about why I've let this happen. Honestly I've been confused about the purpose of my blog for quite some time now, probably since Rhoda was born. The weird thing about my generation of bloggers is that most of my peers that I have met or kept in touch with through blogging have gone on to bigger and better things, like Instagram or owning a crazy successful small business (and then posting about it exclusively on Instagram). For someone my age, blogs were not the gathering place for young mothers—it was a place to post stuff that you would now post on Twitter or Facebook. And new/young moms my age do things like regular monthly updates about their kids with cute "1 Month!" onesies or stickers and I can't go for that—not for lack of trying, but it's just not my style I guess since I only did that for two random months of Rhoda's life. (But looking at that post makes me wish I had kept up with it because LOOK AT BABY RHODA.) So now that my people are gathering on Instagram, that's where I am most of the time, I guess. Though Instagram is the new place where, if you're not careful, you can quickly spiral into a wormhole of creeping on other people's lives and maybe being jealous of them or wondering what happened to that random acquaintance's marriage or getting super depressed because you keep seeing crazy stories about poor young moms whose kids died in a horrific accident or were born with some life-threatening condition. I know that stuff was all out there before but I just wasn't aware of it because I wasn't as anxious as I am now and I just didn't care about people's kids that much. And now you can really get away with that creeping behavior because it's not like you can look at the IP addresses of people who are creeping on your Instagram page. So now I just don't look at the "explore" tab anymore and I feel a lot more peace in my life. 2016 has been a great fresh start without all that emotional baggage to be lugged around.

Enough about Instagram—LET'S TALK ABOUT ME. But in jumpy, disconnected paragraphs, because I've got a lot of catching up to do.

2016 has been AWESOME so far. I'll be honest—2015 was rough, in hindsight. I was ready to put that year behind me. Socially it wasn't super great for me in many ways, and physically it was also tough. Why is it that the second I turned 30 I started falling apart? My most recent thing is that I have a prescription for physical therapy to help alleviate pain from a herniated disc in my neck, which is also causing arm numbness and chest pain. I think that parenting is trying to kill me.

Now let me tell you about how awesome I'm feeling. The Philly winter has been nothing short of perfect. Sure, we had a couple of severe cold snaps there—but it was also 75 degrees on Christmas Eve and it's supposed to hit 60 today, and the weather between then has just been hovering in the comfortable 40s and 50s. Not mad about that, since the past two winters have introduced the term "polar vortex" into my vocabulary. And we got our token snowstorm and snow day, and now the snow is melted and it's just a happy memory. It's sad that weather plays such a huge role in happiness but you do what you can.

Speaking of weather, this is our last East Coast winter for the time being because Robbie accepted a job offer in Palo Alto after graduation. Whaaaat. So, seeya winter. Come visit me in California and manifest yourself as breezy and 60 degrees.

A goal I've continued for myself in 2016 is to read a book a week (I met my goal last year, boo yah), and so far I'm on track. In 2014 I averaged a book a month, and having more things to talk about with people is just really great. Though I have approximately two friends here who read books on the reg, so that's kind of a bummer. I miss my DC book group. My other goal is to try one new recipe a week, which has been fun so far. Meal planning is probably my least favorite thing about being a homemaker so this has been a stretch experience. There were many nights in 2015 that we had quesadillas for dinner and I'm not proud of that, but I'm not apologizing for it either. I'm just trying to repent. If you want to know what I've been making you can see that on my "I Made This" board on Pinterest. Also, if you want to get out of a recipe rut you should follow Smitten Kitchen on Instagram, because I've yet to make a recipe of hers that I didn't like and most of them aren't that complicated. She posts several seasonally-appropriate recipes from her archives every day and it's pretty much the main place I get ideas for this week's new recipe. Other solid cookbook suggestions: Dinner: A Love Story, The Joy of Cooking, and America's Test Kitchen/Cook's Illustrated are favorite in our household rotation. Just in case you are interested in that kind of thing.

I don't think I ever mentioned on my blog that I started sewing in earnest about a year ago. I took a class on sewing with knits and acquired a serger and now I'm the Sergin' General (I love that joke). I am finishing up a class tonight on men's trousers and now Robbie has a new pair of corduroy pants. I'm not sharing this to brag, but to say that I'm happy that I've found a hobby that allows me to make new clothes for myself and Rhoda, and also allows me to binge watch TV shows at the same time.

Enough about me—I'm hungry and I need a nap. Probably really the two real reasons I don't blog anymore, since that's all I really want to do in my spare time anyway.

life with rhoda

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Wed, 04 Nov 2015 18:28:00 +0000

Rhoda turned two yesterday and I guess that deserves a post. I'm still recovering from last year's party so I didn't plan anything special. Sorry, kid! Welcome to the rest of your life. When I asked her what she wanted to eat for her birthday (a question I'm not sure she fully understood) she said she wanted ice cream and candles, and soup for dinner. So, we did that and fortunately everyone seemed okay with that. The only present I gave her was a baby basket that I made, which took me so long to do that it felt like 100 presents, and she was also super into that. I'm loving this baby doll phase So Much.

Other than that, we went to her art class in the morning and then met up with our friends the Joneses at Philadelphia's Magic Gardens for a quick walk through. Park in the afternoon (the weather has been AWESOME this week—mid-70s!), tantrums and a meltdown before/during dinner, and then finally bed. A pretty good day for a two year-old, I think.

Some photos from the past few weeks:

Who needs a guard dog when you have Rhoda?

In her art class apron

In front of one of the many Isaiah Zagar mosaics in the city

Bundled up at the beach (it WAS the first day of fall, after all...)

Hanging out in a pumpkin patch that was just a square of hay in a parking lot

Holding a stuffed owl (or "howl," as Rhoda says) at the Harry Potter Festival in Chestnut Hill

Being reverent for the prayer (and still obsessed with that hat and wearing it everywhere)

Where's Waldo/Madeline at a Halloween party

On Halloween night, after falling asleep with her trick or treat glow stick

Rhoda doesn't sit still for many shows but she is captivated by the old Madeline cartoon I used to watch as a kid. And she always watches it in this pose.

What happens when you ask Rhoda to kneel down for the prayer

After successfully blowing out one of her birthday candles

And just like that, I have a two year old.

in an old house in philly all covered with vines

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Wed, 04 Nov 2015 18:28:00 +0000

Last year, after I'd already made our Halloween costumes, I came up with this year's costume idea. Fortunately, Rhoda's just as into Madeline this year as she was last year (if not more so) so I kept it relatively simple and didn't deviate from my plan so I could get started early on our costumes. I found two pretty simple tutorials online to make Rhoda's outfit (this tunic + this cape) and spent a couple of days in October watching Jane the Virgin and going on a sewing frenzy. After scouring the internet for a yellow toddler hat and plain black Mary Janes I felt like I had the perfect ensemble for the tinest Madeline.

I was Miss Clavel and Robbie was the tiger in the zoo ("to the tiger in the zoo, Madeline just said 'Pooh-pooh!'") My veil was just a rectangle of fabric sewn onto a headband, and Robbie borrowed the tiger costume from a classmate. Also, a lot of times none of us were instantly recognizable. I can understand the confusion about Robbie the tiger/Tigger/Tony the Tiger (a little obscure...) and me the nun, especially in a city where everyone is Catholic, but come on! What's with you people not reading Madeline to your kids??

We got a ton of mileage out of our costumes this year. We had a party for the school's kids club, a Halloween party at church, and before trick-or-treating in our neighborhood (which is the BEST on Halloween) we had donuts and cider at our friends' house. Basically by the time Sunday rolled around we were all in a sleep-deprived sugary haze.

Posin'

Talking about important toddler things (candy) with her equestrian friend Harper

The best kid

Making the mistake of waiting too long to take a picture resulted in this episode

PS—further evidence that Rhoda is a mini-Robbie:

a camping we will go

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Wed, 28 Oct 2015 21:26:00 +0000

The last weekend in September we went camping! Pope Francis came to Philly that weekend and we were warned that millions of people would be flooding into the city and all the bridges would be closed so it would be wise to leave town. In reality there were maybe 150,000 people at the papal mass on Ben Franklin Parkway, so maybe we would have been okay at home, but it was still nice to get away for a couple of days.

We were happy to find out that even though our tent is a smallish backpacking tent, it's still a little roomier than the tent we were camping in this summer so we were feeling pretty regal. We did stay at a campground with some friends who decided to opt for an RV so maybe not so regal as their setup, but I feel like I'd rather stay in a hotel than stay in an RV so you might as well go big or go home, right? Anyway. We camped at Dingmans Ferry campground in the Delaware Water Gap recreation area and got the last of the camping spots along the Delaware River. It was amazing! Apparently that spot of the Delaware is the cleanest river along the east coast so you can swim in it, but it was a little cold for that, though Robbie swam across from PA to NJ on Saturday afternoon just so he could say that he did. Aside from freezing river swimming we did a little hike and played around on the big field by our campsite. I feel like we did more than that since we were there for two full days but I guess we mostly spent the time enjoying being outside in perfect fall weather.

The view downriver from our site

Almost fall! So pretty!

Throwing rocks and wading in

Running around on the giant field across from our tent site

The field had horseshoes too! Reminded me of camping with my family as a kid. Robbie's posing with his ringer here. I never got closer than two feet away with my throws.

The end of a little hike to Dingmans Falls

More river, this time with bridge (what would Marie Kondo say about all of my meaningless scenery shots?)

The weather was beginning to turn a little colder this weekend so I'm glad we came prepared... with this one extra blanket.

Full moon rising over the river. Robbie and I walked down to our private "beach" with our camp chairs after we put Rhoda to bed and pretended like we were on a romantic date. Actually what we did was talk about what it would be like to be a Native American or early settler and paddle down the river in a canoe with no light but the moon's.

Foggy morning view from our campsite

Doing meals right this time with a Dutch oven and cast iron skillet. This summer we ate MREs and bagels for breakfast and that just wasn't hitting the spot.

Morning visitors on our tent

Morning cuties

I'm going to be sad when we leave the east coast and its beautiful outdoors. Thanks for a great weekend, Pennsylvania!

a wale of a time

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 18:21:00 +0000

Hey guys!

Guess I should get around to posting that trip of ours. Wales is THE BEST!! After we spent a week in Madrid and Carcassonne (I'll eventually post those pics...) we went to London to stay with our BFFs Mark and Julie. We hadn't seen them since Rhoda was a newborn and now they have an almost one year-old in addition to almost four year-old Henry, who was about Rhoda's age when they moved. THINGS HAVE CHANGED. So we made the most of our time with them and decided to spend the few days we had together being super relaxed in Wales. We stayed on a farm and fed the chickens and did absolutely nothing but talk and tell jokes. Okay, we didn't do absolutely nothing—we had a proper Sunday roast at a pub, we went and saw some natural wonders, we went to the beach, we saw many a castle, and we drove. A lot. The driving wasn't too bad, though Rhoda cries every time we put her in the car seat now because she thinks she'll be sitting in it for at least four hours.

On to the photographic evidence of our trip:

Some pretty views of the Pembrokeshire coast and the Green Bridge of Wales

The local castle, Carew, where we saw some awesome LARPers having a joust

Some photos Robbie took on his run around the 'hood in Narberth, where we were staying

The ducks and chickens on the farm, plus a pretty sunset, plus me taking a picture of Julie taking a picture of the sunset (META!)

The cutest beach town, Tenby, where a seagull dropped a hermit crab on Mark's foot and scared the crap out of everyone

Teatime in Cardiff, plus a jam jar that made me laugh a lot for some reason. Welsh is just so funny to try and read out loud. Also, you can make lots of puns out of Caerphilly. Just try it!

Visiting Caerphilly Castle on probably the most beautiful day in creation

My only three pictures from London. We just didn't spend a ton of time there, which is sad, but I've spent so much time there and I feel like we'll go back again so it wasn't such a bummer to miss out this trip. Plus, the main perk of visiting for us was spending time with the Taylors so we didn't plan anything for London anyway, haha. We got to go to the park by their house (that tiny wood house is the best) and I got to enjoy walking by The Bird in Hand, their local pub. I wish that American bars had better names.

And, lest we forget, we did spend a good 24 non-consecutive hours in airports and flying on planes. So, there's some documentation of that too. I am a pro at the airport with a toddler. Ask me anything!

stuff i've been doing

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Tue, 22 Sep 2015 19:32:00 +0000

This picture basically sums up what I've been wanting to do ever since we got back in town

It's fall! (It's fall??!) I have had great intentions to do a big catchup post, blah blah blah, and I haven't yet because there's Too Much to catch up on. I just need to muster up the energy to do it. I have been feeling like I have a lot I want to record so while this isn't the most exciting entry ever I'm doing it for posterity. I've been reading President Eyring's biography and I can't help but think the main takeaway from his life is that I need to write in a journal more often.

We got back from Seattle the first week of August, and then I was here (in Philly) for a week before we left again on our Great European Vacation for 2.5 weeks. Then it was hot and we don't have AC and I couldn't be bothered to do anything but lay across my bed like a starfish to try and cool down.

The Great European Vacation deserves its own post(s) and I'll get around to that. Eventually.

After our Great European Vacation I went to California for a very quick trip to celebrate my grandma Helen's 100th birthday. Quite an achievement! Her party reminded me a little of Rhoda's first birthday party (it was noisy and crowded and she was slightly disoriented) but it was really great to see all of my family. All seventeen grandkids and many great-grandkids were in attendance and I was also able to fit in a massage with my siblings at my brother's favorite slightly sketchy Chinese massage parlor. Wins all around.

I've been catching up on the third season of Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries, which is now on Netflix. If I haven't already told you to watch it, you should. If you're into that kind of thing. It's like Foyle's War, but instead of an middle-aged British male detective during WWII it's a sassy/slightly racy Australian lady detective post-WWI. Which means it's actually more like Maisie Dobbs but the main character is not a pain in the neck. (Sorry Maisie. I keep trying to forgive you for turning into a really annoying character.)

I'm suffering from severe allergies. A dermatologist friend told me that since I grew up in the desert I have terrible immunity for allergies, so that's a bummer. And apparently everyone I know who has ever had any kind of hay fever is also suffering big timer right now, so that makes me feel a little better. Someone please tell me when it's going to stop.

Robbie's back in school and gone a lot. Not for school, though—he's usually riding his bike. Thanks to Harry and Bruce, my brother and brother in-law, for making it more of an obsession for him than a hobby.

I'm on track to finish 52 books this year. (Yay!) For some of you this may not seem like much of an accomplishment but please remember that I have a two year old.

Rhoda's funny and awesome and talks a blue streak. She's really into singing these days. Some of her favorites include Happy Birthday ("happy to you, happy to you..."), A-B-C, Twinkle Twinkle, and Five Little Ducks. She also has a freakishly good memory for people's names so she randomly talks about friends of ours that she hasn't seen in months. She'd make a great candidate for public office. Her hair is officially long enough now that people don't mistake her for a boy (you'd be amazed at how many people were still doing that over the summer).

time flies

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Mon, 27 Jul 2015 22:41:00 +0000

The end of our time in Seattle has really snuck up on me—we leave next Saturday! (Insert crying emoji here.) We have loved the last few weeks we've lived here and I'm going to be really sad to leave, but I'm happy to be going back to our house and another new routine... before we go on vacation again for a couple of weeks. We're really just trying to avoid the hot, muggy end of summer grossness as much as possible.

So here's a recap of the last few weeks...

Rhoda the mad scientist

Robbie's parents came for a visit! One of Dave's favorite spots we visited was the Chihuly Garden, which was pretty awesome. And we got this very awesome complimentary photo out of it.

On the Fourth of July we went to Bainbridge Island to check out the festivities. We left before the parade but Rhoda got some sweet swag and we ate some good carnival food.

Every day

On the train to Phoebe's. Rhoda is super into pictures of the temple lately after we had an FHE lesson about the temple. She has some confusion though about whether or not all tall buildings are temples.

I mentioned on Instagram already that Rhoda is obsessed with Phoebe's dog Rex, but those two crack me up. One day Rhoda woke up crying after her nap and Rex went and stood at attention at the top of the stairs until I went to get her out of her crib. And then he just snuggled with her like this afterward. Babies and dogs, you guys.

Rhoda walking like my dad at the arboretum

We had access to a car last week so we got a lot of our Seattle trips checked off our list, including a picnic at Gas Works Park. Such beautiful views of the city.

I go to Pike Place Market almost every day and I keep finding new corners I've never seen before. I think I'm going to miss the proximity to an awesome market more than anything.

Seattle, man! I'm obsessed with this place.

vc/bc

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 22:22:00 +0000

Well, now that I've started playing catch up I JUST CAN'T STOP. So here are some more old pictures to share.

We took a trip a couple weekends ago to Vancouver (the Canadian one) to celebrate Robbie's birthday! There's nothing we love more than celebrating each other's birthdays in America's Hat (we went to Montreal right after my birthday in 2012). After a late start and maybe setting off a siren at the border when we drove away when we weren't supposed to, we finally made it to our hotel around 11 pm and promptly passed out. We woke up early(ish) the next morning to drive to the Capilano Suspension Bridge, which is in the north part of the city. My birthday gift to Robbie was that he wouldn't have to plan anything for the weekend (I was about 90% successful there) but he did mention he wanted to go see the bridge. It was pretty cool and in a beautiful forest, but it did have some tones of National Parks Service meets Disneyland. It costs about $35 each for adults and there are lots of attractions in the park like birds of prey (on leashes, not just flying around), bands playing old-timey music, and plenty of suspension bridges to get freaked out on. I'm glad we went early because the main bridge was flooded with people by the time we left and it's hard to get excited about pretty views when you feel like you're going to fly over a bridge into the river below.

(the end of the photos from my non-phone camera)

Don't look too closely, Robbie's closing his eyes

We totally look like gold prospectors

Rhoda's gotten really good at saying "totem pole"

With our certificate of completion, which we got after getting stamps at a bunch of points in the park (this is what I mean about nature Disneyland)

Can't get mad about a little rain when you're in a drought! Thanks for taking one for the team, Rhoda.

After the park we drove back into town for a bowl of freaking delicious ramen. I'm always craving ramen but the rain and gloomy weather made it especially appropriate. Most of the food scene in Vancouver is of the Asian variety so we really didn't have much of a choice anyway. Post-lunch and post-naps we took a little walk over to Stanley Park, which was just across the bay from our hotel.

Post-ramen partying

I'm serious about the totem poles

The next day, after we went to church, we stopped by Granville Island for lunch and a little exploring. It was probably my favorite part of the trip! We got there before the lunch rush and got to meander through the market without too many crowds. There was so much good food to choose from that it got a little overwhelming so we ended up eating... lots of food. No biggie.

Cool art installation on some old silos

Rhoda probably being excited about birds/ferries/bridges

Our drive back was uneventful and we didn't accidentally try to illegally rush over the border again. Thanks, Canada, for continuing to be my favorite country!

almost paradise

noreply@blogger.com (hanner) — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 06:43:00 +0000

I'm a bit behind on posting about a trip we took over our anniversary weekend (June 28th) because of some technical difficulties but I'm finally getting around to it! Thanks to some more great recommendations from local friends we had the best time hiking and camping in Mt. Rainier National Park.

First up: the Summerland trail, which is a portion of the much bigger (like 93 miles) Wonderland trail. Our friend Jordan made the recommendation and she is the ultimate camper/backpacker, so I was a little worried it might be out of my league? But it really wasn't too bad. I'm not in the best shape of my life but I have been running a bit more since we got to Seattle and I've been conditioned by the crazy hills here (we don't have a car here) so I basically rocked it. I think we ended up hiking around nine miles but there is a bit of an elevation climb and switchbacks at the end so it winded me at times and it took us like six hours round-trip... embarrassing, I know, but we were carting a toddler! So I'm gonna blame Rhoda and not my bad physical state.

The trail and the views at the end are really so incredible. One upside to the drought and unseasonably hot weather of June was that we got to see the wildflowers in peak bloom earlier than usual up near Emmons Glacier, where the hike ends. It was really so gorgeous and our camera really can't capture how pretty it was. There were times where we thought the hike was coming to a close and we'd ask hikers on the return how far we had to go and they'd all say "you've got a ways to go... but the views are SO worth it!" I feel like I could use that analogy in a Sunday school lesson someday.

Rhoda was obsessed with Robbie's Camelbak, which started causing problems when she started whipping him in the face with it.

Glad you get a nice view of Robbie's trekking poles here

I think this might be Emmons Glacier? I'm not really sure the difference between the glaciers and what is considered the actual mountain...

Seriously, so glorious

Got a lot of these bum shots of Robbie. Which is accurate, since that was my view for most of the hike.

Imagine a soundtrack of babbling brooks as you view these

A little parting shot of Rainier on our drive out

We camped again this weekend as well, this time at Ohanapecosh, at the Ottleys' recommendation. So much fun. It's a big, family-friendly (read: completely exposed so you can hear your neighbors spanking their naughty kids) site next to a river that runs off from one of the glaciers. It still isn't getting really dark till 9:30 or so and when we got to camp around 7 pm there were still a lot of families hanging out at the river and jumping off the rock outcroppings into the frigid water. Since we were in the middle of one of the many heatwaves we've had this summer (I think it was still 90 degrees when we got in) it was definitely a welcome activity.

After camping at Ohanapecosh we took the scenic (ie, long) route out of the park to hit up Grove of the Patriarchs and Paradise. We were a little burned out on hiking by this point but Grove of the Patriarchs is an old-growth forest and it's an easy 30 minute hike to see these amazing ancient trees that are secluded on this island in the middle of the Ohanapecosh river. Nature boggles my mind, you guys.

The first of many suspension bridges we've walked on in the PNW. What is with the obsession with suspension bridges here?

Some weird tree details. The one above reminds me of a freaky horse. I'm pretty sure it's the last thing you see before you die.

More pics of Robbie standing sideways and showing off his trekking poles

Some twin pines (cedars? firs? I don't remember)

Rhoda was such a good sport about being toted around all weekend. I don't know how my friends' kids sleep for hours in their backpacks because Rhoda only gets about 15 minutes before she wakes up angry and disoriented but she got over it pretty quickly.

One of the pretty vistas in Stevens Canyon. We were tempted to pull over about a dozen times because the views were just so amazing around every turn.

Paradise! No, seriously, this area is called Paradise.

We ended the trip with lunch and a little walk around Paradise Inn before heading back home. A nice way to end a lovely weekend! Thanks, Washington, for being amazing despite your scary Cascadia subduction zone.