Of all the mysteries we make of life
We oft forget
the answers we
carry within
Along the way
The shadows will grow
Dense – Unruly
Relentless- Clawing
Stand the ground you
Would protect for others
It is time to
Remenber
The Shadows’ folly
You have the the power
You make them
Disappear in the wind
Power in motion
Creates a whirlwind
Where no shadow
Lingers long
The Earth awaits your next step
Awaiting
It’s too simple to say the last few weeks of my life have been difficult and terrifying.
Spinal cord injury,loss of control, loss of physical control, loss of movement, loss of income, loss of home, loss of my well kept bubble of what is seen & what is felt for others vs how things really are.
We all have a face we share & a slew of others we reserve for the right people at the proper times
This most recent journey’s next has been a reminder,a very fortunate reminder of perspective,perseverance,compassion , respect and common courtesy.
As I’ve said the last few weeks have been anything but status quo.
They have also been some of the most fierce weeks I’ve been challenged to face. When they say it can always be worse,it can. Me being me I often run head first into that quagmire wallowing in the what the fuckedness of life.
My litany of loss could spring forth geysers from the most jaded of eyes
But I don’t feel loss or lost this time wherever fear and pain and darkness could have taken over they were beaten back with smiles, courtesy warm wishes and a constant storm of one liners & comedic timing only those who face down the worst humanity,god & the universe bombards them with on a daily basis only to respond with both middle fingers raised to the heavens declaring not today satan or trump or any number of you mother fuckers polluting this world with intent to destroy.
My future is not set in stone. I may never walk again. I don’t know how I’m going to pay for medical expenses. Hell I don’t know if I’ll ever even find true love.
But I do know I’ve rarely felt this cared for,felt the strength of so many poured into me because they mustered it to give nobody rides for free easy is a word on a bumper sticker these people met my fear with assurance beat back the darkness with pleasantries niceties professionalism and often rapier like whit. Rarely have I felt so compelled to meet all of this kindness in kind, matching their good mornings with cheerier good mornings a landslide of thank you’s, pleases, my pleasures you’re welcomes that’s what she said’s ad nauseam. I haven’t smiled let alone laughed so much or so genuinely in a long time neither have I felt so vital a role in that good natured positive motivational we’re all in this together wagons circled against the night high -5 & pass the ammunition kick-assery mastery and it feels fuckngood.
I’m not special I require nothing I haven’t earned.
There are other people on the planet who work just as hard as you love their kids as much as you love yours feel the same worries and pain as you so give them the courtesy of a friendly nod I real good morning a well placed if not entirely appropriate comedic opening for them to walk through & nail and ffs laugh with them laugh like you may not get another a chance at it. Because you might not.
Fuck the darkness, fight the nothing, Artax comes back in the end and Shane didn’t die.
If you’re still reading this
It’s too late to pussy out now. Head up shoulders back. You matter I believe in you.
I’m currently in a local hospital recovering from spinal cord surgery.
Strange thing to have your children see their father paralyzed from the waist down no answers few choices and wearing a face that whispers fear Words dipped in finality carefully spun.
Yet I know better. I’ve been tested my sword albeit dulled since the last challenge hangs over me like Damocles.
There’s always a next time. There’s always more service to offer concern to share pain to assume consume assuage.
Where do you stand on repetition when they look at you needing to hear the words, don’t be afraid we got this laughable to sum
Perhaps
But repeat:
I’m not leaving you
I haven’t given up
So don’t you either
Repeat:
Breathe
I love you all the time
It’s too late to pussy out now
And my newest…
You guys are clutch AF
I couldn’t do it without you Rees kids
And I wouldn’t Fucknwantto.
Where do I stand on repetition?
Repetition is the mantra trust climbs out of when all else looks dark.
Don’t pussy out now

Crushing hard
Under the Clouds oppressive and unfamiliar weight
The venerable princess moon
Lost it’s edge
Spun backward
To hide behind the weaker light
Of dawn
photo courtesy of:
Tweaked/Original (.t/o.) Est:2020

There is a limit to permissible age
Where vitality’s tooth grows long towards brittle end
Time’s attention turns to serk hardier stock
Auditioning future acts with the carelessness only it can withstand
And we
having indulged a lucid dream of self long enough
Take a seat among the tall grass
Finally stopping to smell the flowers
And feel the sun on our faces
Photo courtesy of Tweaked Original,Est. 2020
There is a limit to permissible age
Where vitality’s tooth grows long towards brittle end
Time’s attention turns to serk hardier stock
Auditioning future acts with the carelessness only it can withstand
And we
having indulged a lucid dream of self long enough
Take a seat among the tall grass
Finally stopping to smell the flowers
And feel the sun on our faces
Photo courtesy of Tweaked Original,Est. 2020
Strapped in for another go round in Life’s revolution
Feet dangling above the empty offering of anxiety’s abyss
High atop the windswept sands of time
Anticipating the gut wrench jerk that pulls towards success and failure
A direct path through the space mediocrity fears to travel
Surrounded in singleness by other riders strangely linked
By the will to ride
While others only watch..
Photo courtesy of Tweaked Original,Est 2020
As twilight’s gates open
The Dulcinea of night
Coaxes her sun weary minions to rise
Crickets tune their wings
Calling upon the nocturnal bards and skalds
Who lend their voices to a thousand sounds
Only the batons of the Moon’s rays can conduct
…. Photo courtesy of Tweaked Originals,Est. 2020
Goose flesh tickled chills appeared
As the match’s flame
Touched paper
Consumed
Long before a rescue
Could be launched-
Resurrecting childish hope
Minus the childishness
Of course
And the Hope
Leaving only a pitiful smudge of ash
Where the possibility
Of a beautifully crafted memory
Might once have sought Asylum
Do letters feel the weight of guilt
When they’re twisted into a lie
Or receive salvation from beseeching the lord with prayer
Did they draw straws to see which of them would form a word
So nefarious
Once given voice
No amount of letters can excuse it
Do they grow weary under the glare of judgment they pass so often
Through no fault of their own
What if they gathered in protest
Full of bluster and bluff
Threatening to strike
Forcing a mixture of grotesque pantomime and various scabs and hold outs
To assume their roll
Only to be left speechless
By the voice of a generation
Simply stated:
TBSS SMH LOL
(Photograph courtesy of tweaked/original photos Est:2020)
