Blessing

My adorable three-year-old niece had just gotten in from church.  While still dressed in all her Sunday finery, Though we were gathering for Sunday dinner, she took time out of her busy day to examine Chester, their patient Lhaso Apso.  Deftly rolling him on his back, she parted the hair on his belly, announcing to all those present, “Well, Chulster’s thing is growing.  He’s just got so much hair you can’t see it.!”

What a relief!  The dinner guests had all been so worried!

Oldies but Goodies

An older couple came out of a cafe on morning to find a police officer putting a ticket on a car whose meter had expired. Irate the man accosted him, “You Nazi Turd! Don’t you have any respect for yor elders.” The officer coolly wrote a second ticket for worn tires.

His wife jumped in, “You dog, if you didn’t have on that uniform, you wouldn’t have the nerve to face a real man.”

The insults continued on for several minutes, with the officer writing several more tickets till a bus pulled up to the corner and the elderly couple boarded.

Sometimes it’s good to be thought senile.
An Old couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary.
Theiy’d married as childhood sweethearts and had
moved back to their old neighbourhood after retirement.

Holding hands they walked back to their old school.
It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk
they’d shared where Andy had carved ‘I love you, Sally.’

On their way back home, an armored truck whizzed by and a bag of money fell out, practically landing at their feet.
Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure
what to do with it, the two took it home.
There, she counted the money:
fifty-thousand dollars!

Andy said, ‘We’ve got to give it back.’

Sally said, ‘Finders keepers.’

She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.
The next day, two FBI men were canvassing the neighborhood
looking for the money and knocked on the door.

‘Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag
that fell out of an armored car yesterday?’

Sally said, ‘No.’

Andy said, ‘She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic.’

Sally said, ‘Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile.’

The agents turn to Andy and questioned him.

One says: ‘Tell us the story from the beginning’

Andy said, ‘Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday . . ..’

The first FBI guy turns to his partner and says, ‘We’re outta here.’

Spotty never learned

When my children were small, we adopted a beagle mix named Spotty. My five-year-old son and Spotty bonded immediately.

One of the first things Spotty did was snap up an unfortunate bee buzzing past. She yipped in surprise when it stung her—but that didn’t discourage her. She continued snapping up bees for the next thirteen years, despite the inevitable sting.

These little overalls are painted as I recall our sweet, stubborn Spotty. ðŸķ🐝

Fantasy Relived

When I was not quite three, my grandparents took us to the zoo. Several huge puffs of brilliant pink cotton candy on long sticks waded gracefully through shallow pools of aqua water. It was a cartoon come to life.

I had never seen flamingos before, and never before or since have I been quite so enchanted. Seeing them was like a waking dream.

These overalls I’m painting for myself bring that feeling back. I’ve been so busy making things for other people that I’ve neglected making things just for me.

These flamingos are fixing that.

Not so great

I’ve seen people make delightful designs using doilies, so I went to some trouble to come up with a few doilies. I was happy to buy a grab bag of lace at an estate sale for only three dollars. When I got home and had time to paw through it, I was delighted that in addition to the hoped for doilies my grab bound held nearly twenty yards of homemade crocheted lace. It was beautiful. I washed, dried and pressed it in addition to the the other dingy lace I stored it in a glass jar for safekeeping. Lace shown below.

When all was ready, I arranged the doilies artfully on a jacket back and tried to convince myself it looked good. It looked like crap. Maybe the needed a touch of color. I painted them to look like flowers. Even worse see picture below. Finally, It hit me. Just a little more work. I pulled them off and painted the lat picture instead. The ugly doilies are sitting on top of my washing machine wondering what’s going to happen to them next.

Meet Sugar

Sugar is my free-range neighbor dog. We’ve gotten to be great friends. I’d like to adopt her but her owner doesn’t want to give her up. Her hobbies are roaming the neighborhood and rolling in the mud. Since it rained yesterday she was able to indulge in both this morning.

Sugar visits on a regular basis, sometimes three or four times a day. Meanwhile, my dogs go insane, barking like the infidel is at the door. Should they both be napping, Sugar barks politely to let me know I’m failing in my hostess duties. I go out, take her a snack and visit a bit. If I have time, I take my dogs out to catch up on gossip.

Sugar and me.

Ugly

Sometimes a “mistake” turns into the best idea of the day.

I had finished this custom dress when I tried adding what I thought was the perfect embroidered trim. It was putrid! Off it came.

My customer wanted her dress this weekend, and I was facing a two-hour round trip into town to hunt for blue lace—hoping I could even find the right kind. Time, gas, heat, and extra expenseâ€Ķnot exactly what I wanted.

Then I remembered something.

Bud had just bought me a new airbrush yesterday.

I pulled out some plain white cotton lace, loaded the airbrush, and within a few minutes transformed it into the perfect soft blue to match the embroidery. No shopping trip. No wasted afternoon. No extra expense.

The lace blended beautifully, the dress was finished on time, and I discovered another wonderful use for my new airbrush!

Sometimes the best solutions are already sitting in your studio—you just have to look at them differently.

Thank you, Bud, for such a thoughtful gift. It saved the dayâ€Ķand I have a feeling this little airbrush is going to become one of my favorite tools.

💙 Painted Sun Denim – where thrifted treasures and a little creativity become one-of-a-kind wearable art.







			

	
	



			
				


		

		
I’m Still Here
	


		

		

I’m Still Here





For a long time, Nutsrok had to take a back seat to real life.





Many of you who have followed me for years got to know Mother through my stories. She supplied me with enough material to keep a writer busy for several lifetimes, and in her later years she also required a great deal of my time and attention. I’m grateful I was able to be there for her. Mother died this spring, just shy of a century of living, loving, entertaining, and generally leaving her fingerprints all over our lives.





My mother, Kathleen Holdaway Swain





I am taking this opportunity to remind you of my warm- hearted and humorous  CD memoir of Mother’s early years..





One of my hand-painted tunics!  It was such a pleasure to paint!





My business card.  You an finding me on Etsy





Link to my Etsy Shop.





https://paintedsundenim.etsy.com



		
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Lloyd and Too Little Too Late
	


		

		


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I just love this true family story, so I am sharing it again. I hope not too many of you have seen it. Many years ago, I had a Cousin Mavis, who’d inherited a really nice farm, together with her brother Beau, in an idyllic mountain valley.  She married Lloyd who greatly admired her farm.  They had a daughter, Sally.  Mavis quickly took issue with her husband’s carousing and tossed him out.  Quite willing and able to take care of herself, she continued to live happily on her farm with her brother Beau and Sally.  Beau did the majority of the farm work while Mavis taught school and kept the house running,   The three of them had a good life together, bumping along quite satisfactorily.  Beau never married though he was happy to keep company with a widow lady, saying, “No house was big enough for two women.”  In truth, I’m sure he felt he already had a wonderful homemaker who shared his expenses, a doting niece, and a prosperous farm he had no wish to divide. Her husband, Lloyd, was never quite reconciled to the divorce, realizing what a mistake he’d made in losing Mavis.  Though he never lost his penchant for women and drink, he bought land just across the road, building a house there so he’d have a chance to worm his way by into Mavis’ affections and be in his his daughter’s life .  Little Sally saw her father daily, just like he’d planned, but Lloyd made a point to keep an eye on what went on at Mavis’s place all the time.  Unfortunately, this gave Mavis a bird’s eye view of his social activities, not a wise move for a man seeking forgiveness from a wronged wife.  Despite his many raucous parties and interesting friendships, he was forever hopeful, lo these many years later, that today Mavis would welcome him back into her loving arms.  Whenever an unfamiliar vehicle drove up, Lloyd was sure to amble over to check the guest out.   The first time we visited her, Mavis said, “Oh Lordy, here comes Lloyd to see if y’all are my boyfriend.” Mavis, Beau, and Lloyd lived this way for more than fifty years, till the lovely Sally finally inherited both places, uniting them, as Lloyd had always hoped.