Catering To The Birds

Some context is in order here…

Back in late 2021, we decided to buy a mini-Christmas tree as a decoration for our back deck. It made it through Year 1 1/2 fine, at which time we brought it inside to see how it would fare as an indoor decoration. That turned out to be not as fine, and it expired mid-year 2023.

Tree #2 was purchased in late 2023, with the goal being to leave it outside year-round, except when extreme weather intervened. It did well outside for two full years before it caught some sort of rogue disease, which led to its passing earlier this Summer.

However, when Tree #2 was first installed on the deck, it was residing upon a fairly substantial, black catering plate. The plate needed to be heavy because the plan was to bring the fairly-heavy tree inside during inclement weather. We also needed it to be of a moderate depth to catch overflow from any heavy rains.

One day in 2024, immediately after a Spring downpour, we looked outside to find a couple of small birds drinking and bathing in the modest spaces allotted to them where the potted plant was not. They were treating the catering plate as…a bird bath.

Another catering plate was purchased (with an eye on having the proper depth and textured surface to be more birdy-friendly), and it was placed in front of Tree #2 filled to the brim with water…and a bird bath was born. Since that time, I have taken on the responsibility of changing the water as needed, keeping the water at the right temperature, and also keeping the catering plate clean. Business has been booming ever since.

(I don’t know if the birds even noticed when Tree #2 disappeared, but if any of them ever asked about it I vowed to tell them it was “on vacation”…)

I’m not good at identifying bird species, but I would guess we’ve had over a dozen different ones considered regulars.

The following are a few pictures from this year. The birds take off as soon as they feel any presence or hear any noise nearby, as the catering plate is just in front of our screen and sliding doors, so we have to “angle” our iPhone captures accordingly…

February 1st – After a severe ice storm, there legitimately was a foot of solid ice surrounding the house…and on the deck. I cleared off the deck so the bird bath could stay open for business without interruption…as long as I kept changing the water before it froze, of course. Here, one bird was quite appreciative of a place to get a drink.

May 16th – Tree #2 was still with us at this point, and here we had one visitor casually watching a second deploy its landing gear to join in the liquid refreshment.

July 21st – This is typical of activity in late afternoon, commonly referred to around these parts as “rush hour.” While they all are eager to get a swig and a swim in, in instances like this our visitors usually figure out the optimal number of birds in the bath at any one time is 3 1/2.

September 3rd – These three splashed water about so vigorously during their stop you can see it on the panes of the sliding door. On many occasions, the bird bath needs to be replenished immediately because much of its water has been displaced post-swim.

September 30th – Five at once this time, with one deciding to take off just as this was taken. Some birds get so water-logged they have to return to the deck railing first and dry off a bit before safely resuming their flight patterns.

We have always had our fair share of birds around as part of our suburban wildlife profile, but figured we were doing enough with the bounty of berries on our holly bushes, which have been a hit over the years judging by all the “leftovers.” On one hand, we wish we had also become a bird bath station well before now. On the other hand, we’re pretty confident catering to them in this way is getting us way more five-star reviews on whatever their version of Yelp is.

 

Picture Courtesy Amazon

You Make My Aliens Come True

Recently, Time Magazine published an article regarding the status of government information regarding UFOs…um…UAPs. Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena is being used now, more inclusive as it covers unidentified objects which are seen underwater, in space, or on land.

The rationale to the acronym change is driven by “UFO” creating images of little green men and flying saucers, and the thinking is military personnel, airline pilots, etc. might feel a bit more at ease – and more likely – to report strangeness if it isn’t associated with those “prior” images.

I have never seen a UFO or a UAP, but I do believe there are other life forms “out there.” Of course, many of these reports are likely explainable in a real-world way other than an outer-world way, but the article also notes remarks from former President Obama in an interview earlier this year when asked if extraterrestrial life exists…

“They’re real, but I haven’t seen them. They’re not being kept at Area 51. There’s no underground facility – unless there’s this enormous conspiracy and they hid it from the President of the United States.”

I think a lot of folks still haven’t ruled out that conspiracy part. Time reported in a recent poll only 21% surveyed trust the federal government is telling the whole truth about what all they know. 89% of Republicans and 88% of Democrats polled said they want more info on UFOs…

“You could be a single-issue candidate running in the U.S. That issue could be UAP transparency, and you could get elected just based on that.” – Jordan Flowers, Executive Director, Disclosure Foundation

We are starting to see a handful of alleged reports, testimonies, videos, etc. on previous, still-unexplained activity, some of which is mentioned in the Time feature. One thing I found most interesting in the article was projecting the big “what if.” What if – like Steven Spielberg’s recent film Disclosure Day – we actually had to process an official announcement we have in fact been visited by aliens from other worlds? Some of the populace would certainly develop mental health issues as their anxiety levels rose about what all might happen next, but what of spiritual health? How does life outside of us reconcile with the beliefs of various religions around the world? I don’t know how to reconcile religious beliefs I have with my belief there is intelligent life elsewhere. One thing I do know for certain is my interest in Unidentified Anomalous Phenomena, and the possibility our politicians have buried information on them, began with a groundbreaking television show called…The X-Files.

I was scrolling through my cable system programming guide early in 2023 when I discovered a channel called Comet. One of the shows they had in heavy rerun rotation at that time was The X-Files. My wife and I started watching them off and on late at night…and eventually watched more on than off. We also watched the show religiously when it first aired, but like a lot of folks walked away from it as the seasons rolled on. At this point, I can’t tell you how many times I have seen each X-Files episode, but what I can tell you is I have a much greater appreciation for how special the series was/is. While I still think the government conspiracies on the show eventually over time became way more unbelievable than those little green men themselves, many of the stand-alone, “monster of the week” episodes make for excellent television. I particularly like those times when David Duchovny’s Fox Mulder and Gillian Anderson’s Dana Scully were placed in off-beat, even comedic situations. Several times when they stepped away from the show’s clunky government conspiracy mythology, I thought the cast and crew stepped up their performances and made some of their most enjoyable episodes.

FYI, if you love The X-Files or know someone who does, a great Christmas gift would be the book Monsters Of The Week: The Complete Critical Companion to The X-Files. TV critics Zack Handlen and Emily Todd VanDerWerff compiled a great book several years back which examines what made the series so groundbreaking. It features reviews of every episode—including the tenth and eleventh seasons – as well as both major motion pictures. The forward is written by series creator Chris Carter.

The following is my Top 15 X-Files MOTW episodes I find the most entertaining in order of likeability, without any regard for potentially being graded as great television…

  1. Bad Blood, Season 5 –Mulder and Scully try to get their stories straight before filing their respective reports after Mulder kills a teenager he swears was a vampire. Needless to say, their recollections are quite different…and quite funny. Luke Wilson guest stars.
  2. How The Ghosts Stole Christmas, Season 6 – On Christmas Eve, Mulder and Scully are trapped inside a haunted mansion where two spirits show them just how isolated and lonely their lives are…together. This episode is a gift any time of year. Ed Asner and Lily Tomlin guest star.
  3. Je Souhaite, Season 7 – Mulder and Scully investigate a cynical genie who gives humans exactly what they ask for with disastrous results…because humans simply don’t know HOW to properly ask a genie for a wish.
  4. Jose Chung’s From Outer Space, Season 3 – A sci-fi novelist writes an account of the alien abduction of two teens. Mulder and Scully have an interest in the case as well. There are several bizarre moments here, including a car backing up perfectly into a garage from the street at full speed. Charles Nelson Reilly, Jesse Ventura, and Alex Trebek guest star.
  5. War Of The Coprophages, Season 3 – Mulder sets out to investigate a small town being terrorized by super-cockroaches. Scully eventually joins him there…finally getting to meet Mulder’s new female friend “Dr. Bambi.”
  6. Rm9sbG93ZXJz, Season 11 – In a show with very few words, Mulder and Scully become targets of a less-than-robust AI network after a visit to a robot sushi restaurant. It makes you rethink stiffing anyone -or anything – on a tip. A foreshadowing, cautionary tale of AI being in our lives 24/7.
  7. Arcadia, Season 6 – Mulder and Scully go undercover as a married couple to investigate disappearances in a too-nice-to-be-true planned community. Mulder really gets into the roleplaying, as well as hissing off the very odd community leader.
  8. Audrey Pauley, Season 9 – Agent Reyes is severely injured in a car crash, and now finds herself in a coma…as well as a flying, alternate-universe hospital. Agent Doggett fights to solve her dilemma while also keeping the organ donors at bay.
  9. Redrum, Season 8 – Scully and Agent Doggett try to help a prosecutor accused of killing his wife, a man who is also experiencing his last days in reverse. The clock is running out on him…backwards. Joe Morton and Danny Trejo guest star.
  10. The Unnatural, Season 6 – An elderly man recounts a story to Mulder about an old-time star baseball player who also happened to be an alien. A loving nod to the book and novel The Natural. M. Emmet Walsh and Jessie L. Martin guest star.
  11. X-Cops, Season 7 – Mulder and Scully work alongside a reality television crew while chasing an entity that preys on people’s fears. Turns out they are naturals when it comes to being on TV.
  12. Kill Switch, Season 5 – A rogue AI program is hunting and killing those who brought it to life. Mulder winds up being trapped within it. Another series episode which is far ahead of its time. Your shining example of AI becoming a big-time weapon.
  13. Field Trip, Season 6 – Mulder and Scully investigate a case of bodies rapidly decomposing, and come into contact with what is causing it. Hallucinations ensue. You think the case is solved…but wait a minute…why are their faces melting again?
  14. The Lost Art Of Forehead Sweat, Season 11- Mulder and Scully encounter a man named Reggie, who claims mass memory manipulation is erasing his storied history as Mulder’s prior partner…which for sure nobody seems to remember.
  15. Pilot, Season 1 – The very first episode of the series, where we first get to meet our heroes. Their meet-cute set the stage for everything thereafter. This is actually considered part of the show’s mythology and not a MOTW episode because it introduces the themes for the government conspiracy narrative to come, but this is my blog so here we are.

And, we now go from a show that features aliens…to a show that features aliens.

 

 

At the beginning of August, I had already assembled a mental checklist of reasons not to bother watching the new series Lanterns on HBO:

DC Studios – They have struggled mightily operating in the shadow of Marvel Studios when it comes to superhero entertainment, and their recent projects under alleged saviors James Gunn and Peter Safran have been less than impressive.

The 2011 Green Lantern Movie w/Ryan Reynolds – It was a tough watch. I don’t think it was the worst superhero movie ever made, but if it was the last time we ever saw the character I would have been ok.

Setting Lanterns In Rural Nebraska – I have never been to Nebraska. I probably would love parts of Nebraska. However, DC had a show on The CW recently called Superman & Lois which portrayed and shot Smallville, Kansas as so freaking small it was completely absurd. I envisioned seeing Lanterns having all of its “action” set in a town with a dozen buildings and two dozen residents.

Reports Lanterns Was More Of A Detective Drama – The idea of the Green Lantern character solving crimes in a police-like procedural fashion had zero appeal.

And then I decided to watch the first episode because…you know…Bruce and his superheroes (sigh).

Well, let me tell you…HBO’s Lanterns is one superhero show that doesn’t feel or look like one, and that’s a great thing. It is a grounded, Earth-based, complex, twisty, mystery that features perhaps the most awkwardly assembled pair of partners ever…who nonetheless share great chemistry.

I have read a lot of Lanterns reviews where critics mention prior television shows in an attempt to explain how different this project is from what your expectations might be of a series that revolves around an intergalactic law enforcement agency ensuring aliens stay in their lane…

“It’s a mystery that has a tone more resembling Yellowstone than it does a superhero adventure.” – Mike Ryan, The Hard Pass

Kyle Chandler (Friday Night Lights) plays the current Green Lantern. Aaron Pierre (Rebel Ridge) plays the Green Lantern in-waiting. Their contentious relationship, opposing endgame goals, and immediate shared objectives are the real heart and soul of the show. Lanterns proves a successful superhero project doesn’t require great spectacle, when it instead has solid characters and fantastic storylines. There’s an absence of wall-to-wall blockbuster action here, just blockbuster performances and writing.

I never saw Friday Night Lights (but Bruce, you love football…how could you not have watched that show?), but I have seen him in other projects and enjoyed his work. He is perfect for the role of aging Green Lantern Hal Jordan, and strikes the perfect balance of jealousy and duty while mentoring his apparent replacement. Aaron Pierre plays that trainee role with just the right amount of respect and ambition. It’s a perfect combo, folks.

After watching the premiere, I was counting the days until the next episode. That anticipation has continued to grow each week as Lanterns has just passed its mid-point.

If you have access to HBO, I recommend you give Lanterns a try. I know with all that Marvel success came superhero fatigue for some (many) of you, but this is such a refreshing take on the whole genre. DC Studios made themselves a slightly-bigger town…and a massive global hit.

Pictures Courtesy SeeRoswell/Fox/HBO

Dream A Little Scream Of Me

It is one of those moments that mark the unofficial start of Fall around these parts. The Field Of Screams in Mountville PA once again adds another chapter to their legacy of terrorizing young and old alike from September 11th through the middle of November. It is located about forty miles from where I live, but I have never gotten around to visiting it. Still, as a huge Halloween guy it seems like something I should make the trip for.

There are four main haunted attractions that require separate admissions, but the cost structure is designed for attendees to secure a “Scream Pass” (or even a “Group Scream Pass” for large parties) which gain you entry to each one.

I do have a few thoughts based on the Field Of Screams info provided about each attraction…

Haunted Hayride – “Prepare yourself for the most disturbing, the most heart-pounding, and the most intense ride of your life! There is no turning back as the tractor-pulled wagons take you on a horrifying hayride into the depths of our dark and sinister cornfield.”

“In just twenty minutes, every horror you have ever imagined will come to life and haunt you for the rest of your days.”

Dark and sinister cornfield, huh? When I was a kid who hadn’t taken possession of common sense yet, one year a bunch of us hid out in a big cornfield the night before Halloween and threw handfuls of corn at passing cars. Mind you, this was a back road where the top speed was approximately 10 mph, so it wasn’t quite as heinous as it sounds. However, during our Mischief Night adventure when those kernels hit one car in particular, the driver hit the brakes, parked in the street, and flung open their door.

My friend Mikey may still be running.

Den Of Darkness – “Three stories of sheer terror await as you creep through the dismal passageways and maddening mazes of this 200-year-old original barn. Incredible detail, dynamic set design, and a multitude of grotesque inhabitants guarantee high-impact scares and sensory overload!”

“The dark and mysterious past of the Den began when the Murter family resided there. Mr. Murter tortured both vagrants and locals who approached their land, and their blood still stains the ground. Years later the residence was renovated into The Garden Hotel and ironically the horrific killings increased. As the demented hotel staff committed torturous murders, many checked in but few checked out.”

Three stories? 200-year-old barn? I’m not so much worried about all those dismal passageways and maddening mazes as much as whether or not the barn floors will support any visitors. The Garden Hotel clearly has a severe Human Resources problem. To be honest, this place sounds an awful lot like The Hotel California. You can check out anytime you like…but you can never leave.

Frightmare Asylum – “Welcome to your worst Nightmare! Check in to your new living quarters at the Frightmare Asylum and become a part of the bone-chilling madness as you explore four floors of the demented and the deranged! Feel the fear as you meet the disturbed doctors and nightmarish nurses who have taken up residence here! Experience elaborate theming, state-of-the-art scares, and seemingly endless scenes and rooms that are packed with more cutting-edge special effects than you can handle. In the Frightmare Asylum, no one can hear you scream!”

“The malpractice of the doctors and nurses in the Asylum has caused the inmates to become unstable and prone to seek their revenge on all who enter the condemned building.”

Four floors? Condemned building? Visitors here clearly have to be more worried of dying from the Asylum collapsing upon itself more so than all those demented, deranged, revenge-minded inmates running amok. You say no one can hear you scream? That certainly tracks if you wind up under a massive pile of rubble. (It appears I might have some residual trauma from exploring less-than-safe abandoned structures on my town’s “wrong side of the tracks” when I was a kid…)

Nocturnal Wasteland – “In the foreboding and desolate woods on the Field of Screams property lies the Nocturnal Wasteland. As you walk down the narrow, winding paths through the dense overgrown vegetation, you will come face-to-face with the mutant creatures of this fear-filled forest! Your screams and cries for mercy will be too distant to be heard.”

“A walk-through Nocturnal Wasteland provides intense scares and heart-pounding experiences that will leave you screaming through the woods. The inhabitants of this Wasteland watch their visitors squirm and they show no mercy once they track you down. Experience the hair-raising touch of the brander’s tool and smell your own burning flesh as he presses the brand into your skin.”

Sounds like you make your way through a thick Jumanji-like jungle with bad actors trying to keep you from getting where you want to go. I have never experienced anything like that specifically, but I suppose it is a bit like those old 6 AM Black Friday sales. Those crowds always made me feel like I was in a cattle roundup, but fortunately for we shoppers there was no branding or burning flesh involved. (One Thanksgiving however, I did have the burning flesh experience while transferring the turkey from the oven to the counter but I digress…)

Now…for those of you who might for some reason (or lack thereof) need even more terror and horror at the Field Of Screams…I give you…Extreme Blackout.

Extreme Blackout – On Friday November 13th only, all four attractions of the Field of Screams show will be darker, more intense, and hands-on! You will be subject to new methods of torture, physical restraint, and isolation that are not a part of our regular season show. Extreme scare tactics and fear-inducing techniques will be incorporated as part of your Extreme Blackout experience. Not all will survive. Release waivers must be signed in order to participate!

And straight from that release waiver itself…

I UNDERSTAND THAT BY PURCHASING A TICKET TO PARTICIPATE IN EXTREME BLACKOUT, I MAY BE SUBJECT TO PHYSICAL RESTRAINT; ISOLATION; TORTURE; MISDIRECTION; DARK AND NARROW AREAS; DISORIENTING LIGHTING, SOUNDS, AND SPECIAL EFFECTS; PHYSICAL TOUCHING; AND OTHER SCARE TACTICS AND FEAR-INDUCING METHODS AND TECHINIQUES NOT MENTIONED HERE. I HAVE READ AND UNDERSTAND THIS AGREEMENT AND I AM AWARE THAT BY SIGNING THIS AGREEMENT I MAY BE WAIVING CERTAIN LEGAL RIGHTS, INCLUDING THE RIGHT TO SUE.

OK, this does NOT sound OK. Is it breaking news you have to sign a waiver to participate?

My wife is not into the horror performance art thing at all. She told me when we first met in the autumns of her youth, her youth group managed each year to find their way to various haunted hayrides and houses. She reminds me of this whenever I mention the two of us possibly going to Field Of Screams together. She thanks me for the offer, but advises she has already been sufficiently traumatized for life.

Me, I don’t know if I dream of doing this. I do love a well-done horror movie as much as the next person. But, do I really want to live one out, immersing myself in a hands-on experience like this? Extreme Blackout sounds very much like a near-Death experience, and since I’m on the backside of life, I don’t need to edge any closer to Death…so that one is a hard pass.

As for the four main attractions, I have a concern about the proximity of all those performers who jump out and grab at you while your senses are in a heightened, frightened state. I am concerned I might instinctively knock one of them out while in attack mode. Then…you’ve got real blood mixing with fake blood…various lawyers involved, etc. I think I’d have to recruit at least one person to accompany me to Field Of Screams…if for nothing else than to serve as a witness for the police report.

I know they get a ton of visitors there, and it sounds like everybody makes it back home in one piece. I don’t know what your experience is regarding attractions like this but I’ll pose the question here…would you dare go there for scares?

Pictures Courtesy Tripadvisor/Haunted Pennsylvania

Subtle (And Less Subtle) Signs Of Autumn (And Snoopy)

I mentioned my blogging sidekick Ficus in a post from almost a year ago as another plant who is always able to figure things out, including when our seasons are about to shift. The very first thing I notice which makes me feel Autumn is on its way is how the sunlight subtly shifts as it gently enters two windows on either side of Ficus, who stoically resides adjacent to my desk. The sun enters that area at a slightly different angle, moves away just a little quicker, and Ficus ultimately spends a bit more time in the shadows during the afternoon. Each year this happens…it just creeps up on me out of nowhere until one day when I finally recognize what is happening. (I have no doubt Ficus wonders why it still takes me so long to pick up on this…)

Once the sun has started to begin its subtle adjustment, our neighbor’s tree is where the next noticeable change takes place. I don’t know what kind of tree it is, and each Spring it looks healthy enough, but around mid-August it sheds all of its leaves in three weeks. With the heat of the summer still at work, we wind up with a Fall-like street setting of crunchy, golden-brown leaves to admire well before Labor Day…leaves which due to the jet stream will eventually be in our yard to admire more intimately. It is another reminder Autumn (and its leaves) is not far behind.

I subscribe to a number of podcasts. Podcasts became a big deal to me when I started a walking exercise program in the second half of last year. I keep track of steps on my iPhone, and as I walk from Point A to Point B and back again, I like to listen to them (when not listening to live sports). The subjects of these podcasts? TV show rewatches, the NBA, College Basketball, College Football…and NFL Fantasy Football. I can easily see a scenario where after hearing the basics of how Fantasy Football is played, those unfamiliar with it would conclude success is more about luck than skill. Google AI spit out most analysts and experienced players estimate season-long Fantasy Football is 50-70% luck. I would concur when we’re talking about actually winning a league championship. I know Autumn is approaching when the velocity of Fantasy Football podcasts subtly ramps up as training camps get into full swing. My wife and I have been playing Fantasy Football together since 1998. It’s fun for both of us (except when we’re playing each other), and it makes watching any pro football game more interesting as each one has meaning…not just the ones our Eagles are playing in.

Dunkin’s Fall 2026 menu is scheduled to launch this week. Starbucks debuts their menu next week. Two in-your-face signs Autumn is soon upon us. Pumpkin Spice everything, baby. I have come to believe Pumpkin Spice is something you either hate or love. I happen to love it. Now, one not-so-little twist this year when it comes to Fall beverages is in addition to that walking program I initiated, I stopped drinking coffee completely several months ago. My morning drinks since that time have primarily been Iced Chai Lattes. I would very much like to re-introduce coffee to my diet when these Autumnal menus arrive, but I think the days of ordering large Pumpkin Spice Cream Cold Brews are over. I just have to figure out how to say the word s-m-a-l-l. (I have been practicing…)

I walked into the local grocery store yesterday and there it was, a fully-stocked, filled-to-the-sky Halloween section with costume accessories, home decorations…and of course, candy. Boxes and boxes of bags and bags. I will admit we do buy candy for the neighborhood ahead of time, but not this much ahead of time. We get about 100-125 visitors to the front door each Halloween. It is a night where the community is united in having a good time. This too-early appearance of the grocery store Halloween section is another sign Autumn…and the camaraderie of Halloween Night (meet-and-greet skeleton included!) is not far off.

ADDENDUM…A New Peanuts Adventure

I have no idea how young I was when I read my first Charlie Brown comic. It just naturally and organically became a part of my youth, and I read it in the newspaper every single day. Television specials and movies followed, and I have been there for all of it.

Autumn always found Charlie Brown once again being convinced to run up and kick a football by his holding “pal” Lucy.

Apple TV recently announced a new Peanuts movie will hit their platform in 2027. And, it sounds like a movie for all of us to pal around with. The title: Snoopy Unleashed.

The set-up…Charlie Brown’s long-time pen pal, a wheelchair-bound girl from London named Mia, makes a surprise visit to Charlie in the States. Charlie Brown now is faced with trying to live up to the “larger” version of himself he promoted in their letters. Snoopy picks up on this newcomer taking over Charlie Brown’s main focus, and decides to run off to the big city. Charlie and the Peanuts gang, plus Mia of course, all set out to find the wayward doggie. In the interim, while navigating the urban landscape Snoopy befriends a stray mutt who is way more comfortable with city life. We don’t know the stray’s name, but he becomes Snoopy’s opposites-attract pal…just like Mia and Charlie Brown.

The script for this 80-minute feature was written by Craig Schulz, Peanuts creator Charles M. Schulz’s son – and his own son, Bryan Schulz – along with Cornelius Uliano  and Karey Kirkpatrick. It is directed by Steve Martino, who directed The Peanuts Movie (2015).

Peanuts continues to thrive – long after its final comic strip ran back in February of 2000 – and this film will certainly add to its historic legacy.

 

Pictures Courtesy Recraft/Threads/Apple TV

The Drop Shot

One of the great American sporting traditions returns to the New York City region later this month, the U.S. Open Tennis Championships. I have talked repeatedly about attending one over the years and being a part of the unique, electric atmosphere associated with the event, but have never netted a couple of train tickets for my wife and I to head up to NYC and take in some of the action.

When I was growing up, my favorite tennis player was America’s Jimmy Connors. He was brash and bold, and played the kind of high-pressure tennis I liked to play (at). He also helped to expand the global use of the two-handed backhand (which I never mastered but always attempted). Alas, even though my parents bought me a version of his signature Wilson T2000 steel racket, he managed to do much better with his than I with mine. During his distinguished career, Connors made the U.S. Open finals seven times, winning five titles. Even more impressive, Jimmy won Open titles on three different surfaces…grass, clay, and hard court. One of the greatest to ever play the game.

I think professional tennis players today are at a major crossroads when it comes to addressing the relentless year-round scheduling and aggressive points system which drives it, the massive financial and physical cost of traveling all over the globe virtually non-stop, how lesser players can even afford to stay on the tour, and the absolute need for balance and transparency when dealing with top players found to have violated policies. None of these are new developments, but mental and physical well-being has become an even bigger area of concern, and while all the players on tour are trying to push through these challenges, some are becoming more vocal and active in their protests.

For this year’s tournament, when I last looked at the betting odds on the men’s side, they favor World #1 Jannik Sinner, looking for his second U.S. Open title. Defending champion and two-time winner Carlos Alcaraz is the second betting favorite, but he’s been out for almost four months with a wrist injury. French Open champ and World #2 Alexander Zverev, four-time champion Novak Djokovic, and Americans Ben Shelton and Taylor Fritz round out the top six. On the women’s side, two-time defending champion and World #1 Aryna Sabalenka is the betting favorite, followed by 2023 champ American Coco Gauff, 2022 champion Iga Swiatek, World #2 Elena Rybakina, French Open champion Mirra Andreeva, and Filipino breakout star Alexandra Eala.

Players always face a grueling couple of weeks in Queens. The demanding hardcourts, the high humidity, the crowd noise, the late nights when the schedule demands it, and the late-season fatigue they have to fight through. It makes for very compelling television, and I try to tune in as much as possible. I am a bigger fan of the sport than Mrs. B, and perhaps to at least some extent that would be due to a tennis-playing incident from some years back.

At one point, my wife and I were playing tennis at least once a week. Never in a competitive way, mind you. We simply went out for an hour or so sticking to the baselines, volleying back and forth.

That is…until the drop shot.

It was a weeknight. The temperature was around 70F. No wind to speak of. No one playing on the court next to us…although there were a couple of guys playing on the court one removed from where we were, so periodically we served as ball persons for each other’s play. Otherwise, it was absolutely perfect conditions for twilight tennis on a well-kept, public court.

We were about a half-hour into play when “it” occurred.

Mind you, we always kept score even though our shared goal was to just extend points, get some good exercise, and simply enjoy the outdoors. My wife, a pretty good athlete back in the day, was actually beating me this particular game. She had just returned my shot from deep in the corner when I executed “the drop shot.”

To this day, my wife insists it was because I was losing and consciously wanted to win the point. My claim to this day is my highly-competitive mind and muscles simply converged in that one, fateful moment…and I subconsciously went all-in for a winning shot…finessing it just up and over the net.

It was without a doubt the greatest drop shot I have ever hit.

My wife, reacting to my truncated stroke and setting aside that goal to take things easy, attempted to sprint all the way from the back court in a spectacularly athletic – yet predictably futile – fashion to reach the ball in time.

Futile intersected with fall. My wife went down several feet from the net in a full-on, concrete face plant.

I really thought she was dead.

Mind you I was gratified to have won the point, but I decided to first check on my wife before retrieving the ball. As I got to her, she was rolling onto her side and making low, unintelligible sounds which indicated she was, a) alive and, b) able to move.

Me: “Are you OK? What hurts?

Her: “My hand.”

Me: “Just your hand? Great!”

Her: “Great? No, not great. It hurts. A lot. I think I broke it.”

This is when I automatically switched into ultra-positive mode. Knowing my wife as I do, it would be important at this point to assure her she was OK, and that hand would be just fine with some rest and TLC. It did seem like her hand took the brunt of the impact. This was a good thing, because her head was next in line if that hand had not been extended to break her fall. The question now…was the hand actually broken?

I quickly got her to her feet and into our car so, if nothing else, to reassure those guys playing nearby a hearse would indeed not be required.

I drove her to a nearby Wawa convenience store to get some much-needed ice for her injury. I left her in the car briefly, returning as quickly as I could with an ice-cold beverage for her, lots of ice for her hand…and a copy of the latest edition of the TV Guide (out on their newsstands earlier than usual…!).

Her: “You thought about buying the TV Guide during THIS?”

Me: “I got it early!”

Moments later, as I was getting her cooled down and set-up in a more comfortable position for the drive home, I was trying to adjust the angle of her seat to make her more comfortable…when I made her more horizontal as the seat control got away from me. She actually managed a laugh about that, watching me being flustered trying to get the seat corrected. Good sign. Laughter IS the best medicine.

Until the next day of course, when her hand looked like one of those cartoon character balloons in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Off to the doctor. Then the hospital. Multiple X-rays. No break. Bad sprain. Two weeks of rest.

Since then, conversations of my drop shot placement usually go like this:

Her: “You know you hit that shot on purpose.”

Me: “I just reacted. It was instinct. You were so far away, and the shot was there for the taking. I never, ever thought you’d actually try to go for it. I didn’t mean to almost kill you.”

Her: “Well, you almost did.”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry. You know, I really thought you were dead for a second. I’ll never forget that sight. It was awful.”

Her: “I still can’t believe you bought that TV Guide.”

Me: “I got it early!”

 

Picture Courtesy iStock

 

Christmas In July – A Trio Of Entertaining Gifts

Sizing Up The Odyssey

A lot of the entertainment news these days is about Christopher Nolan’s new film, The Odyssey. It is making a bunch of money, and to be sure a decent chunk of that coin is due to folks driving far and wide to see the movie in the largest format possible. The Odyssey is the first film to be completely filmed in IMAX 70 mm. There has been some pushback on the elitist nature of making the movie that way, in that there are only a handful of theatres around the world who can actually show the movie in the format it was filmed in.

We are lucky to live all of five miles from a theatre who has the ability to show a movie in IMAX Digital. The next best thing if you are a movie buff. As my wife and I were taking that brief commute to the theatre at 7:30 Saturday morning to see The Odyssey, we pondered whether or not we really needed to see the movie with a sellout audience…since we wouldn’t be seeing the “true” film anyway. To be sure, we have seen (and heard) a lot of IMAX presentations in our time. And, we get it…it is a fabulous way to present a movie.

We ultimately decided to opt for a show in the standard definition format we all usually see movies in that had four…FOUR…people in the audience. Our goal was to really focus in on this film, and it surely would be a better atmosphere for that with the entire theatre basically to ourselves…as well as reclining seats. Ironically, the higher-priced IMAX theatre has rigid, fixed seating. That morning, it also had a packed house which would inevitably be distracting getting up and moving about during a movie near three hours long. I don’t mind seeing a movie with a crowd, but then there’s crowded. The decision to opt for a “lesser” viewing experience wasn’t as easy as which size popcorn to buy (large), but it was pretty close.

The result? For me, The Odyssey might…might be Christopher Nolan’s finest film of his distinguished career. The direction, acting, locations, sound, and editing are all masterclass. As you know from my prior post, I am not an awards guy. Still, I would be remiss in not reporting I would be shocked if the movie isn’t represented in each Oscar category it is eligible for.

A true cinematic gift, worthy of a view on any size screen.

Doomsday Is Almost Here, But Are MCU Fans Here For It

San Diego hosted the traditional Comic-Con this weekend at its Convention Center. The highlight for many attendees was when Marvel took over Hall H Saturday night for their panel and presentation with regard to their December release of the movie Avengers: Doomsday. Earlier in the week, Marvel released its latest trailer for the film, which was underwhelming to some of us.

The Marvel Cinematic Universe has had a rocky go of it since their Infinity Saga of films concluded with Avengers: Endgame in 2019. That film featured a ton of superheroes, all with quality film appearances on their resume before appearing in Endgame. The movie became the highest-grossing film of all-time at the time it was released.

I always felt that after Endgame, Marvel needed to introduce their next set of Avengers in a linear manner, with three or four of them in each film. No origin stories, just a series of movies allowing the audience to get to see them a couple of times each at minimum before even considering taking on the task of a mega-multi-hero movie like Endgame. The trailer that was released is stuffed with mostly new Avengers we’ve barely seen on screen…and some X-Men heroes we’ve never seen in the MCU.

So, with that sinking feeling of a rushed attempt to try and “save” Marvel, along came news Saturday night that at least some of the approximately 7,500 in attendance at the Marvel event felt the “extended footage” shown in Hall H should have been in the trailer released days earlier. It was better. It gave Marvel fans the gift of hope this will be a decent comic book hero experience. Certainly not The Odyssey…but after the journeys Marvel has taken us on recently I’d just settle for a good, entertaining time at the movies.

I’m such a huge fan of Marvel’s earlier films I will be there on Opening Day for Doomsday. As for my expectations, they remain low…but I’ve moved them up a little bit with some hopeful news. As for my hopes, they remain high.

Chilling With Hallmark

Sunday morning, we put on the Hallmark Channel to get some Christmas In July vibes going in the house. I swear the temperature went down a few degrees, a real gift in the sizzling summertime. When these Hallmark Christmas films arrive in July, it provides me a reset of sorts. I am less interested in marking the fact the year is half over. I am more interested in marking the fact the second half is getting started.

My “Holy Trinity” of Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas is that much closer now, bringing with it cooler temperatures, colorful leaves, and the traditional food and drink of Fall and Winter.

The second half of a year re-energizes me, but I certainly know it isn’t for everyone. I just prefer cold to heat, and to be sure each one of these Holiday seasons have deep meaning to me for both happy and not-as-happy reasons…just like a Hallmark Christmas movie.

And below, five of their films I always carve out time for since they first aired, even if it isn’t always turkey-carving time just yet.

An Unexpected Christmas (2021, Starring Bethany Joy Lenz, Tyler Hynes)

Christmas By Starlight (2020, Starring Kimberly Sustad, Paul Campbell)

Crashing Through The Snow (2021, Starring Amy Acker, Brooke Nevin, Warren Christie)

Debbie Macomber’s Trading Christmas (2011, Starring Faith Ford, Tom Cavanagh, Gil Bellows)

The Nine Lives Of Christmas (2014, Starring Kimberly Sustad, Brandon Routh)

Picture Courtesy Universal Pictures

Movies At The Mid-Year Mark

Hello, everyone. Very nice to be back on WP again…and very nice to see you here. It has been great visiting and commenting on your sites once more. WordPress people are the best kind of people.

Assuming you’re all still people, of course. With artificial intelligence, these days you’re not exactly sure whom or what you are chatting with at any given moment….!

You may recall Mrs. B and I are big movie-theatregoers. Since the calendar has been flipped into the second half of the year, I thought it would be fun to mention the films we’ve seen at the cineplex during the first six months of 2026. We have taken in a couple other theatrical movies released this year on the small screen, but for me I prefer commenting on (and ranking) films I made a commitment to see on the big screen.

I offer a disclaimer when it comes to reviewing, ranking, and awarding creative, artistic endeavors in general. It may come across as a weird, odd take from someone who loves movies as much as I do, and perhaps its genesis was film studies back in college a zillion years ago, but nonetheless here we are. I admit I watch all of the major entertainment award shows…Grammys, Emmys, Oscars, etc. But, I do so only to celebrate the respective industries involved and stargaze at all the talent assembled under one roof.

While I love reading reviews, which often introduce me to very different perspectives of a creative project I may not have perceived on my own…and I also love reading rankings of artistic endeavors based on the critic’s personal enjoyment of them…I have never felt said endeavors should then be voted upon and elevated to a select few on these various award shows. Then, a handful are actually named the “best.”

Movies are certainly subjective. Deservedly, common-sense so. You and I will see the same film and, on many occasions, have significantly different takeaways. Personal “bias” is front and center, with our opinions based on our universal likes and dislikes, our prior life experiences…all the way down the checklist to what kind of mood we happened to be in when we saw the movie. Giving out Critics Choice Awards, Golden Globes, and Oscars implies objectivity and universal agreement that simply doesn’t appeal to me. I may be a bit of a cinematic snob in this aspect, but for me it is a bit more snobbery to actually go forth and herald any performance or any movie the “best.”

That being said, I find critic reviews and rankings quite interesting because not only do they give me a little bit of a window into the reviewer themselves, they often lead me to watching a film I passed on initially, or pondering scenarios, aspects, or angles I did not take away from my watch.

I know some of you don’t go to movie theatres these days. Many are frustrated with Hollywood leaning so much into sequels and franchises. Less originality. More of an emphasis on built-in audiences and merchandise sales. Theatres are certainly operated with varying degrees of professionalism, and audiences can sometimes be just as challenging to deal with. Moviegoing is fairly expensive. However, going to a movie theatre will always be a part of my life. Just in the DNA.

That being said, I was pretty much underwhelmed by most of the seventeen films I saw in the theatre halfway through 2026. I think I’ll take a pause on actually ranking this batch in terms of enjoyment…saving that for a year-end ranking of all 2026 films seen. Here are the films seen (alphabetically) with a few comments thrown in:

Backrooms, Cold Storage, Crime 101, Disclosure Day, Good Luck Have Fun Don’t Die, Greenland 2 Migration, Hoppers, How To Make A Killing, Mercy, Minions & Monsters, Project Hail Mary, Ready Or Not 2 Here I Come, Scream 7, Star Wars The Mandalorian & Grogu, Supergirl, The Devil Wears Prada 2, The Sheep Detectives

I will freely admit I have never grown up, so it tracks two of my faves from this bunch are very family-friendly films, Hoppers and The Sheep Detectives. That being said, it would be a disservice to call them kids movies. I think all ages get a kick out of these two films. Crafted with great care…and nice, inspiring messages within.

Crime 101 features a gritty, noir-like storyline executed by a stellar cast. I definitely recommend stealing a few moments to check out this “ultimate heist” tale.

Two movies you may not have heard of…Good Luck Have Fun Don’t Die is a mind-bending, time-travel, sci-fi journey, while Cold Storage is more of a “stay-in-one-place” sci-fi adventure. Both have comedic moments sprinkled in throughout their R-rated action. Recommended if you are looking for something quirky.

Minions & Monsters was great fun (again, for all ages), and a nice love letter to Hollywood back in the day. I just wish the filmmakers would have restrained themselves at least this one time from the frantic, chaotic final act Minions films always seem to require.

I am a huge fan of Steven Spielberg’s exceptional career in moviemaking, but I was disappointed in Disclosure Day. Yet, if you have never seen one of his mega-hits from years ago, you may enjoy this film. For me, it was pretty much a mash-up of concepts and scenes from prior winners of his, and I was admittedly hoping for more “newness” from him this time around.

This once-enthusiastic supporter of Marvel and DC continues to be underwhelmed by the superhero fare these days, with Supergirl continuing a rough stretch for our comic book crusaders. The depressing, dystopian, one-note origin story here didn’t work for me. While I didn’t mind the anti-hero lead character the studio crafted, the movie only soared for me when Krypto the Superdog was on-screen…and he wasn’t around nearly enough.

Finally, a word about Backrooms, a “creepypasta” horror film brought to the screen by 21-year-old YouTuber Kane Parsons. It has received positive reviews, and while I think Parsons is worth keeping an eye on in the future, Mrs. B and I came away feeling Backrooms was much more mood than movie. I think some enjoyed the concept so much perhaps they overlooked whether or not an entertaining film was produced. I must say in the run-up to seeing it I was also enthralled with its premise. Didn’t find it absorbing, and Backrooms serves as a great example of the absolute subjectivity of film I alluded to earlier. Many folks enjoyed it. Another YouTuber, Curry Barker, released another horror film within just a couple of weeks of Backrooms…a film titled Obsession. It too has gotten good reviews, and because of the YouTube success between Parsons and Barker…and the box office success both films have done…the two films and filmmakers are often mentioned in the same breath. That being said, we’re going to await Obsession’s arrival on the small screen. A knee-jerk reaction based on the great disappointment in Backrooms? Perhaps.

Before concluding, I want to call out four small screen series I recommend for those who have access to them that either had new seasons drop in the first six months of the year or made their debut…Daredevil Born Again, Paradise, and Widow’s Bay. Currently watching Pluribus…and I do love what I’ve seen from seven of its nine episodes so far…but to be sure it is very much a slow, s-l-o-w burn of a show.

I look forward to any thoughts or reactions you have regarding movies or series watched recently. Recommendations are always welcome. Happy viewing to all for the second half of 2026.

Picture Courtesy Disney

Christmas Is For The Innocent

 

Several years ago, I came across this story published in the New York Daily News by Karen Zautyk. She is a former Editorial Board member there who originally wrote this for her father, John. I think it captures the essence of Christmas being most of all…for the innocent.

O, Little Lamb…Who Made Thee?

It was cold in the stable that night and the animals were huddled together for warmth. The cows and the oxen and the donkeys.

And one little lamb.

Sad, scrawny little lamb, born lame and frail. Too frail to be out with the flock in the fields. The shepherds had carried it into the stable where it would be safe from the wind and the wolves, for both the wolves and the wind came down from the hills with fierceness in the wintertime.

The lamb had food and shelter but that was not enough. It was lonely. Separated from its mother, it felt unloved. The other animals tried to be kind but they had no time. During the day they were busy working. The cows had milk to make, the oxen had earth to plow, and the donkeys had carts to pull.

At night they were all very tired. They’d feed upon the fodder and then go right to bed. None would talk, none would play. None would even sing a lullaby to a lamb that needed comfort. Every night the lamb would cry, and be told to hush, for its bleats disturbed their sleep.

Thus, that night, the lamb cried without making a sound as it had learned to do. And it looked at the strangers who were sharing the stable.  At the man, who held the woman’s hand and spoke to her so softly. And especially at the woman, who spoke not at all.

Huddled together, the animals slept, and eventually the lamb slept too.

And the night was silent.

But then, in the darkest hour, there was no more darkness and no more silence. There was the cry of a baby. And the stable shone with the brightest of lights, and there were voices ringing in the air.

The animals, shaken from their dreams, were frightened. They stamped their hooves and tossed their heads and made their frightened-animal noises…but the light was so lovely and the voices so beautiful it wasn’t long before they quieted and began to lose their fear.

And when the light had dimmed to a glow and the voices were only an echo, there in the manger they saw the baby…and their eyes went wide with wonder.

The animals murmured but would not approach until the woman beckoned. Then, one by one, the beasts came forward. All, that is, except the lamb…which was only a baby itself and still terribly afraid. Forgotten by the others, it trembled in a corner and tried to hide beneath the hay.

But. the baby in the manger was trembling too. The cold of the night had returned and the baby had started to shiver. When the animals saw this, they huddled closer about the crib.

The man took off his cloak and made a blanket of it, but the cloak was thin and threadbare and provided little warmth. The woman held the baby to her breast. He shivered still…and she began to weep.

And the lamb, which knew what weeping meant, lifted itself from the hay. Though it was still afraid…it left its hiding place. It made its way among the legs of the bigger beasts until it stood beside the woman…and it laid its head against her knee.

And the softest of hands reached down and stroked its wool.

And the gentlest of hands picked it up and tucked it into the manger straw…and tucked the baby in beside it…and covered them both with the cloak. The baby snuggled near and smiled…and closed his eyes.

And the lamb was very glad it had learned to cry without making a sound. Because it was crying now and didn’t want to wake the child.

But the lamb wasn’t crying because it was sad. It was crying because, at last, it didn’t feel alone. Or afraid. Or unloved.

Then the lamb closed its eyes too.

And the woman sang a lullaby.

 

Picture Courtesy New York Daily News

A Glow In The Darkness Is The Best Gift Of All

In May, 2013 a columnist by the name of Craig Wilson took his final bow after a buyout from his employer, USA Today. He wrote a weekly column for them called “The Final Word” for more than sixteen years. His writing – regardless of the subject matter – provided readers with a unique, thoughtful take on even the most take-for-granted aspects of daily life.

During his long career there, one December he wrote an article which dealt with holiday decorations. Specifically, displays that provide a depth of feeling that make passers-by smile and project the spirit of the holidays upon them.

I present this gentle reminder from Craig (and his father) of just how simple – and magical – this season can be…

A Glow In The Darkness Is The Best Gift Of All

Every December, a neighbor of ours opens his dining room shutters and lets in the world.

A floor-to-ceiling tree, laden with ornaments and white lights, fills the bay window. Underneath it is spread an assortment of antique toys. Original Raggedy Ann books, a model train engine from the Pennsylvania Railroad, a fire truck, and an assortment of old stuffed animals. An elephant. A bear. A well-loved floppy-eared rabbit sporting a winter sweater and seated in a wicker sleigh, ready to glide.

The window, which is right on the sidewalk and perfect for viewing, has become a holiday tradition in the neighborhood. Like many, I make a detour on my nightly dog walk just to pass by.

I know there will come a Christmas when the display won’t be there, but until then, I happily take in the annual offering, just as I used to take in the mesmerizing holiday windows years ago at Sibley’s department store in Rochester, N.Y.

The magic of our neighborhood window, however, is that there’s nothing commercial about it. My neighbor offers up the display every year purely for the joy it might give a passerby, not to make a sale or hype a product.

It’s perhaps the simplest of Christmas gifts, which also makes it the best.

When I was walking Maggie the other night, I watched as a young mother and father pointed out the various toys to their daughter. She was maybe 3 or 4 and in her father’s arms. From the look on her face, you’d have thought she was in another world. Maybe she was.

And then the trio strolled away, happy perhaps in the belief that they’d just had one of the most pleasant and innocent experiences of their hectic holiday. A serendipity of the season.

When I was growing up in the country, Christmas displays like my neighbor’s window were not abundant.

But I remember being impressed that someone would take the time and effort to hang, say, a single strand of multicolored lights around their barn door. Or wrap a lamp pole with lights, aglow at the end of the lane. A lonely beacon in the night.

My dad did the same.

Christmas after Christmas, he would run the world’s longest extension cord across the snow-covered front yard, down to a tiny fir tree that proudly stood sentinel by the side of the road.

He covered the tree with what seemed like thousands of lights, and every night at 5, he turned them on with all the flourish of lighting the tree at Rockefeller Center.

I’ve often wondered what people thought as they drove down this country road, in the middle of nowhere, and came upon a solitary tree glowing in the December darkness.

Maybe they thought it was the prettiest thing they ever saw. Maybe they saw it as a gift.

Maybe they realized someone was just sharing his joy. Nothing to sell. No agenda in mind. Something done just for the joy of it. Like my neighbor’s magical window.

And maybe that’s what it’s all about.

 

Picture Courtesy Keil Tree

 

A Charlie Brown Christmas – The Dancers

Thanksgiving Week is here…when Mrs. B and I acknowledge Christmas is not that far off. I have mentioned previously my dislike of Christmas “moving back” in the calendar. We love Christmas. We just don’t love it being promoted during the summer. I love me some Halloween first…and Pumpkin Spice…and leaves. But I digress…

One of my earliest and most cherished childhood memories was seeing the Charlie Brown Christmas special each year. To this very day, I consider no Holiday season complete unless I watch it again. If you feel the same, you may be interested in hunting down a copy of the most comprehensive book on the show I know of, “A Charlie Brown Christmas – The Making Of A Tradition,” which was first published back in October, 2000. It is a fantastic behind-the-scenes look at the genesis, production, and presentation of this historic piece of television born from the legendary comic strip, “Peanuts.”

On the morning of Christmas Day 2015, the data-themed website known as FiveThirtyEight posted a feature entitled “The ‘Charlie Brown Christmas Special’ Dancers You Most Want To Party With.” It was co-written by Walt Hickey and Leah Libresco. These two really put a fun spin on this classic episode of television that day, and hopefully you’ll enjoy it being replicated here.

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It’s a debate as old as time — or, at least as old as 1965’s “A Charlie Brown Christmas Special.” Of the many revelers throwing down sick moves to “Linus & Lucy” by The Vince Guaraldi Trio, who would you most like to party with? So as part of our Christmas Special Thunderdome, we set them up in a series of head-to-head battles and asked voters to decide the winner. Here they are, ranked by the percentage of matchups each won:

11. Sally (30 percent)

Walt: Sally is trying.

Leah: She’s kind of in her own space, having a good time but not drawing me in.

Walt: Nice little one-two step, you know? Basic moves, trucking right along. Go Sally. We have all been there.

10. The Girl In Green (30 percent)

Leah: These are pretty hesitant moves, but if she did this with a little more force, she could be rocking a bullfighting/paso doble thing.

Walt: Right, so I have a specific love for the girl in green, mainly because I, like most people, have been to a middle school dance. This is the dance that you do before your friend in the eighth grade tells you to stop using your arms so much.

Leah: My default in those moments was the Twist.

Walt: My default was “I want to punch the air, but the air right above my head, in particular.” I don’t really disagree with this ranking, but I admit I see far too much of my younger self in the girl in green.

Leah: Just so you know, the usual instruction for stage punches is “Punch a parrot on the shoulder of your scene partner.” You’re pretty close.

9. Pig-Pen (33 percent)

Leah: On the one hand, you get joyful abandon (plus he’s a musician). On the other hand, you get a dirt cloud even worse than when I hang around smoker friends.

Walt: I worry Pig-Pen may have been disadvantaged by the question.

Leah: How so?

Walt: We asked, “who would you most like to party with?” And the answer is never the filthy bassist, you know?

8. Schroeder (41 percent)

Leah: I mean, it’s clear Schroeder doesn’t want to party with us, so this 41 percent must be the ones who like ‘em coy.

Walt: “I’d never join any club that would have me as a member” is Schroeder’s motto. As far as he is concerned, he’s just playing a bit of piano, the party just comes to him.

Leah: Personally, I’d leave him to Lucy.

7. Linus (48 percent)

Walt: Now we’re getting somewhere. Linus knows what’s up. This is exactly how I dance to “Get Low.”

Leah: Gotta say, I think there are some good opportunities for partner dance with the blanket. I have some swing moves I could adapt.

Walt: Unpolished, but going for it. I think Linus is underrated.

Leah: I’ll party with him if our readers won’t.

6. The Girl With Red Hair (49 percent)

Leah: I am, of course, in favor of Frieda, because like her I have naturally curly hair. Unlike her, I have (I think) other distinguishing traits.

Walt: She looks like she’s swinging a person around but forgot to get a person. Appropriately rated.

Leah: I am a fan of her exuberance. Minimalism is only for experts.

5. The Dude In Green (54 percent)

Walt: I love this dude.

Leah: Nice moves, but feels more like a soloist than someone I’m going to dance with.

Walt: Right, like when a random circle opens up on the dance floor, you know this guy would think “my moment has arrived,” and just slay it in the center.

Leah: Exactly. But not the guy I want to spend the whole party with.

Walt: No way. Michael Jackson was lost and alone in 1982, waiting for his next big dance, and then on comes “A Charlie Brown Christmas Special” and presumably the rest is Moonwalk history. True story that I just made up.

4. Snoopy (59 percent)

Walt: WAY OVERRATED.

Leah: I mean, not as great here, but he’s got a pair of aviator goggles.

Walt: Leah, listen to the song “Linus and Lucy,” there is not a guitar part.

Leah: He’s in deep cover to catch the Red Baron’s agents?

Walt: There are two strings on his guitar, Leah. This is a dog phoning it in. He shows up to your party and sits in the corner and says “Hey, do y’all know ‘Wonderwall’?” and drinks all your Bud Heavy.

3 and 2. The Girls In Pink (64 percent and 65 percent)

girl_in_pink

girl_in_pink2

Leah: So, twins, I guess.

Walt: I normally hate arbitrarily lumping twins together — they’re two separate people with rich and distinct inner lives! — but this is either some twin coordination or a hungover animator.

Leah: They’ve got my favorite moves on the floor, so if anyone was going to be copy-and-pasted.

Walt: There’s so much nuance in the moves! At first, you just think, “Oh, they’re waving their arms around,” but then you see the footwork.

Leah: The double taps!

Walt: This was “whip my hair back and forth” decades before Willow dropped the track.

1. This Guy In The Orange (75 percent)

Leah: See, this is the kind of dancer who can pull off minimalist moves.

Walt: The only reason I would not want this guy at my party is he would hook up with everyone.

Leah: So, are you against meritocracy, Walt?

Walt: Far from it, just intimidated by greatness. This man is a force of nature. Look at the footwork!

Leah: It’s great top to bottom. But not as aggressively showy as the guy in green. If only we knew the name of this background guy to send him an invite to the office bash.

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After looking over all these entries, I do think two best represent how I worked the floor during my peak dancing years. Early at the club or a party…my moves resembled Linus. By the end of the night…The Dude In Green.

Charles Schulz, the genius behind “Peanuts,” was born in Minneapolis, Minnesota on November 26, 1922. His comic strip has meant so much to so many people of all ages over all these years…including this memorable Christmas classic. Happy Birthday, Charles…and thank you!

Pictures Courtesy Amazon/FiveThirtyEight