A WitchLighter World

what a year!

Early this january, shook that our company will closed on June, natural disaster such as Taal eruption in January, earthquakes from all over the world, strong storm battering the Philippines bringing floods in the latter part of the year and the pandemic due to the covid19 that forced each country to have lockdown on their territory starting February, the virus started develop new strains in the last quarter.

ABSCBN was shutdown due to the non renewal of the franchise, since then watching on the TV decreases, mostly entertainment and news sources are coming from the net like facebook and youtube.

Losing work on June and thankfully finding a new one through referral on August which force the sudden change like leaving the house and renting to a condo unit

You will know the real person when you had live with them, the number of years that you share with the person is nothing when boyh of you living in a house, either it will strengthen the bond or it will break you apart

This also the year that we had our first loss in the family, our father, though it makes us focus the love and care to our mother.

Learning the hard way…

Able to survive the unemployment days because of the savings I had, so better to save for the uncertain days

Dont be afraid to let go or cut ties on people or things that is beyond control

It doesnt mean that the post o exchanges are okay that it is the same in real world, especially one’s personality and perspective.

Always be prepare or be ready and don’t let your emotion get ahead of you

Definitely, 2020 is a challenging year to each one of us, thankfully we survive and keep on surviving as we welcome and prepare to the coming year 2021!

For the FIRST TIME in forever,

I have plan to celebrate my birthday being alone in a place no one know me, that I can do anything I want to do, just being me, without thinking anybody, my work or the responsibilities that I have.

Into the UNKNOWN

On the eve of my birthday (Nov 24) to a day after my special day, I stayed at the BSA Twin Tower, a hotel in Ortigas which is just across the SM Megamall. I have book in A4602 on the 1st night and transfer to another room with unit number A4112 on the second night. 2 swimming pools and buffet breakfast with additional charges are some of their amenities. Before I transfer to the next unit, I went to chapel in Megamall, bought rush guard in order to try the pool and ate lunch at Ka Tunying’s restaurant. Had a night swim at pool which is located at the top of the building. Had massage but paid penalty since the oil used spill on the bed cover.

Into the within

Though it is expensive, I had enjoy the solitude and the experience of being alone, that for a time, i am just thinking about me and myself, the decision and what my life had become because of that decision, hoping for the days to come.

From RJ45:

Before ako mag litanya, mag sosorry na ako sa lahat ng mga nasabi ko o nagawa kong hindi mo nagustuhan.

Napapansin ko lang na lalo atang tumtindi ang galit mo sa akin. Minsan hindi ko alam kung dapat bang kinukulit or inaasar kita or laylo muna ako sayo. Yung huling nangyari sa atin na sobrang kinagalit mo, actually mababa ang EQ ko nun kaya nung sinabi mo (kahit pabiro) na ayaw mo akong kasama sa baba eh hindi na ako sumama. Matindi ang pinagdadaanan ko ng mga oras na yun kaya ganun naging reaksyon ko.

Also just to let you know, never kong inisip na ayaw kitang maging friend. In fact natutuwa ako syo, yun nga lang mapang-asar talaga ako.

Ayun. Nakakalungkot lang din isipin at of course hindi maganda na meron tayong di pagkaka unawaan. So kung ano man ang gusto mong sabihin sa akin I will listen. At kung hindi ka pa ready na batiin ako, I’ll wait.

🙂

Reply ni Witchlighter

Hello!
Kung sa pag aasar mo, okay lang naman sakin, dba nga minsan nakikipagbiruan din naman ako saiyo. minsan lang talaga di ko alam how to handle it, di tulad ng kina Ian na nagagawan ko ng paraan. pero that’s how you are and I accepted it naman,
Remember the time nun tinanong ko sayo na naiilang ka sakin, sabi mo hindi naman, kaso pag based sa mga actions mo parang naiilang ka talaga sakin, meron kasi mga instance feeling ko may sasabihin ka sakin kaso bigla ka na lang tatalikod.
Minsan o madalas, pag magkakasama tayo nila Ian, meron kayong mga bagay bagay na pinag uusapan kayo di ako maka-relate, gusto minsan sabihan, hello guys andito ako, o kaya magtakip ng tenga o kaya mauna na lang kesa ma feel ko na ma-OP ako. Buti na lang si Ian pag nagtatanong ako, pag di confidential, sinasagot nya tanong ko.
Nun huli engkwentro yun nga nagpapasama akong bumaba, ask ko si ian, sabi nya gusto nya, tapos sabi mo sasama ka, kaso bigla syang nahatak sa work/meeting at that time, nun nagtanong ulit ako, sabi mo aantayin mo si Ian kaso nga wala si Ian sa pwesto nya at di ka na sasama, need ko tlga bumaba nun to walk at mag exhale
At that time din, sabay ko na-feel na uncomfortable ka talaga sakin, na ayaw mo ako kasabay at makita nang iba na if tayong dalawa lang. Na-feel ko na rin parang kinahihiya mo ako maging friend. dahil dun bumaba ang self esteem ko 😦
Though masakit tlaga sya sakin, kasi nga I treated you as one of my closed friend, yun lang di pla ganun. So para di ka na ma-awkward sakin, ako na lang muna ang iiwas at di muna ako sasabay sa inyo at ayaw ko rin naman ipagpilitan ang ‘friendship’ ko sa iyo.
You may say it that I am too sensitive but that’s how I read your actions.

All I want is sincerity from my friends 🙂
Sorry din if my nagawa at nasabi din ako sayo, baka dala na rin ng bugso ng damdamin.
Thanks din po sa pag reach out.