10 things my Relevant roomies should know about me

13 Oct

The Relevant Conference: Blessing my Family, Engaging the World

In 2 weeks from today I will be landing in Harrisburg, PA and attending the Relevant Conference. God worked out all the details for me to attend (i really need to write a post about that story….). As part of the conference Erin from www.homewiththeboys.com and Brooke from www.brookemcglothlin.com are hosting a link-up for us to share what we think our roommates need to know before we share a room. I’ve met one of my roommates, Stephanie from www.upliftingwordsonline.com several times already, but I will not get to meet my 2nd roommate, Cherie from www.heartandsoulreflections.com, until I get there.

I’m in the middle of a series on my “other” blog: www.GodCenteredMom.com . So I thought I would use my family blog for this fun post!

Despite my growing desire to write a humorous and false “10 things”, the following are the real deal. I promise.

Here you go ladies…let me just jump right in with the craziest one first.

1. I sleep with the blankie my mom got at my baby shower. it’s vintage. it’s soft. you will probably try to steal it from me. It’s embroidered with the word “priceless”…cuz my maiden name is “Price” and b/c I am! It has traveled the world with me and it’s also “priceless”.

2. I’m notorious for forgetting to take out my contacts before I go to bed. I would greatly appreciate a little reminder to remove them before bed. So that the 2nd day of Relevant I won’t have bloodshot, gooky eyes. thanks

3. I have a high tolerance for stuff in my immediate vicinity. So if you need me to carry your bag in addition to mine I won’t even notice. My husband thinks its funny on road trips when I have 2 bags at my feet, holding some random object on my lap and something wedged at my side. (probably why I forget to take my contacts out…don’t even notice that they are in!).

4. “I don’t want to miss a thing”. I really don’t. I will want to be the last person to leave a conversation. The last person to fall asleep. It’s going to be tricky at Relevant since there will be so many awesome social opportunities going on at once…if only I could clone myself. =)

5. I’m an overachiever. So not only will I attend every session, I will be furiously writing notes. I think writing helps my brain retain and process info better. Fortunately I think I’m in good company at this conference (all writers) so i won’t get teased for my excessive note-taking.

6. I’m an external processor. Get ready to hear me talk and discuss everything I’m learning. Once I bounce my thoughts off a couple people, what I’m learning comes alive.

7. I’ve been known to get a song stuck in my head and sing it repeatedly while getting ready in the morning. I usually stick with top 40, praise/worship and children’s songs. Also love to dance…so get ready for a few performances in our room (see #8…)

8. When I’m away at conferences I have been known to get a little silly. My young self emerges and I get really excited to get time to chat with girls and think only about needs…not 3 young boys.

9. There is a list a mile long of godly women I am hoping to get to meet and interact with on this trip. If I get a chance to even exchange a smile with Ann Voskamp, will you grab my camera and capture the moment. Her humility is Christ-like and what draws me to her is how she radiates Christ to those around her.

10. I’m pregnant…maybe that should have been #1. I’m pregnant with my 4th BOY. Yep. 4 boys. Still working through the acceptance phase of being pregnant with another boy. Know that God knows what He’s doing but I don’t feel the joy yet.

Alright I think I’ve shared enough…your turn!

*don’t worry I won’t really bring my cat (re: tweet earlier this week). I do love “Pirates of Penzance” and may break into song a few times.

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Somegirl’s 30 day photography challenge-week 1

7 Sep

I met a sweet, sweet girl Michelle at a Christian Blogging conference (Mamas Write) a couple of weeks ago. She and I share a love of God, writing, and parenting boys (she has 2).  Michelle writes for her blog www.somegirlswebsite.com . I have been linking up posts from www.godcenteredmom.com to her “thought provoking thursdays”. I have enjoyed getting to “know” her through twitter.

Recently she posted a photography challenge…i am by NO stretch of the imagination a photographer. But since I have three boys I take a LOT of pictures and appreciate any help she can give me on capturing this ever-fleeting stage of my life.

Here are my first week of pictures from her photography challenge:

Day 1-Self-Portrait

I have practically ZERO pictures of myself. I am the one taking pictures. When I saw this challenge I was a little intimidated. However, we had great weather this week so one afternoon when I was outside with the boys I just started snapping pics of myself. It was a “no shower” day…but i kind of like the “realness” of this pic.

Day 2-what you wore today

Um so again a “self portrait”…whew! this challenge was somewhat embarrasing to capture. My husband saw the pics on my camera and couldn’t help but comment. But here it goes…the best one of the MANY that I took. =) As far as the outfit…top from Forever 21 (hides the 15 wk preggo belly bump well), white shorts from the Limited (have a little stretch in them..again good for preggo) and gold leaf earrings from street vendor in NYC. I was all dressed up b/c all 3 boys were in school!!

Day 3-Clouds

Since I started this challenge late…no clouds due to absolutely GORGEOUS weather. may add a pic later if i capture a good one.

Day 4-Something Green

Chinese maple that is actually still green despite the drought and 100+ summer…

Day 5- From a high angle

Loved this challenge  (b/c it wasn’t of me!) and it captured my boys in a different way doing a common activity around our house .

Day 6- From a low angle

Loved this challenge as well. I laid down on the grass looked up and saw the sun peaking through the trees with our bball hoop in the foreground. With our 3 boys and my husbands obsession with basketball, this hoop is going to see a lot of “action”…fun to have an image captured of it!

While I was lying on the grass Quade decided to join me…fun angle!

Day 7-fruit

Found this on the table today. Not asthetically beautiful, but it reminds me to be grateful that my boys LOVE fruit.

This was sooooo fun!!! thanks michelle for a chance to use my creative juices just a little this week and learn some new ideas for taking pics of my boys!

If you want to join the challenge check out it out at: http://somegirlswebsite.com/showing-love/2011/09/30-day-photography-challenge/

where i’ve been

14 Jun

I realized that I have not posted on this blog in months. You may be wondering…where has she been? Or perhaps you haven’t wondered anything at all because your world does not revolve around my family’s blog posting. 😉

For those of you who have been wondering…I’ve been preoccupied with the launch of my new blog entitled, “God Centered Mom”. It was actually the last post on this blog that was the catalyst for the new blog. I was just overwhelmed by the presence of pride in my life. When I recognized how placing God in the center of my life made such a dramatic difference, I felt God encouraging me to share that with others. Check it out if this interests you. I will hopefully make time to still post about the happenings around our home so that i will not forget what it’s like to have three young boys around.

Here are a few highlights from the past few months:

  • After taking swimming lessons for a couple weeks, the older two boys have decided that they actually do enjoy swimming. We joined the Elks Lodge (a WHOLE long story in itself) that gives us access to a great pool everyday. The other day Quade was acting as the swim instructor and had Price floating on his back as he led him across the pool. The entire time giving words of encouragement and direction. When they got to the other side he quickly instructs, “Turn and glide. Great job pricey!”

    Quade's new favorite color is pink...thus the pink goggles. Had to explain to the swim instructor that quade was indeed a boy.

  • The older boys have discovered that they enjoy taking showers and proudly tell others about this accomplishment. Even telling them how well they clean their “private parts”. yep.
  • Watts has become quite the conversationalist (when he does not have a pacifier in his mouth =(). He shocks us sometimes when he says something for the first time. One of these times was him shouting, “wait!” when i was heading out the door with the boys and daddy was putting on his shoes.  Another time, I was holding him and Price grabbed his foot and Watts commands, “Let go please!”. Fortunately these words are helping him hold his own against the loving attacks of his older brothers and not resort to the antics of the next story.
  • Watts was also not allowed admittance to the childcare at our gym for two weeks b/c of three consecutive “bitting” incidents. One of which included biting his own brother.
  • Quade is currently obsessed with all things Lego. I don’t think a day has gone by in the last three months that we have not had a conversation about Legos, Lego Star Wars or Lego Ninjago…sometimes all within 5 minutes. I guess it’s part of the gig.
  • Price is very literal in his interpretations of the world. So when Bruce will say something like, “I’m going to park the car.” Price says, “we’re going to the park?”. 
  • The boys have enjoyed playing a lot together so far this summer. The other day I heard them laughing in the playroom and saw this:

    forever friends

I have a disease…

28 Mar

I recently diagnosed myself with a disease. I have been exhibiting symptoms associated with this disease for decades. With each symptom, I have prayed to God to  heal me.  Recently I discovered that this group of symptoms had a common, root cause…a disease.

There is a spectrum of severity associated with this disease. Fortunately, my case is not severe due to the loving, gracious husband who has helped with treatment. I also think age, having 3 young children, lots of prayer, Bible study and godly counsel has lessened the severity.   This disease may unfortunately be chronic but my hope and prayer is that I can be completely healed from it.

After becoming aware of my illness and coming to my knees before God, the next stage in my healing process is to be vulnerable and confess my disease with others (thus the reason for this post).

Sadly, many people suffer from this disease. I feel that it is almost to an epidemic level.  Below is a list of symptoms that are seen with those who have this disease.  Perhaps like me you may have been “treating” some of these symptoms and you are also unaware of their common root cause.  Hopefully this post will not only be therapeutic for me but for enlightening for you.  Here we go…

Symptoms:

1) lack of gratitude in general–think you deserve what is good. may even complain because you think you deserve better
2) anger–includes outbursts of anger, withdrawing, pouting, or frustration. another word for anger is moody.
3) seeing yourself as better than others–usually on top looking down on others. easily disgusted and have little tolerance for differences
4) having an inflated view of your importance, gifts and abilities–wrong perception of themselves. legend in their own mind
5) being focused on lack of gifts and abilities–always down on themselves. have “woe is me” attitude.
6) perfectionism–strive for everything to be perfect for recognition. may do it to feel good about themselves
7) talking too much–do it b/c they think that what they have to say is more important than what anyone else has to say.
8) talking too much about yourself–may center on themselves in conversation..bragging or boasting
9) seeking independence or control–find it extremely difficult to work under someone else or to submit to an authority. “i don’t need anyone.”
10) being consumed with what others think–too concerned with the opinions of others. decisions are based on what others may think.
11) being devastated or angered by criticism–cannot bear that they are not perfect or have weaknesses b/c they cannot accept who they really are
12) being unteachable–know it all. they’re superior. they can’t seem to learn anything from someone else.
13) being sarcastic, hurtful or degrading–very unkind, belittle other people to raise themselves above others. excuse this behavior “that’s just the way i am. that’s my personality”.
14) being defensive or blame-shifting–“are you saying it’s my fault?” they try to explain away their sin.
15) lack of admitting when you are wrong–make many excuses “i was tired.” or “i was having a bad day.”
16) lack of asking for forgiveness–rarely admit wrongdoing. either cannot see it or can’t admit it to someone else
17) resisting authority or being disrespectful–detest being told what to do.
18) voicing preferences or opinions when not asked–preferences my be voiced without consideration for others
19) being irritable or impatient with others–concerned with own schedule or plans are being ruined.
20) being jealous or envious–when they do not enjoy the same benefits, have a hard time being happy for other’s successes
21) using others–views others in terms of what those people can do for them and their interests
22) using attention getting tactics–try to draw attention to themselves through dress, bizarre behavior, being rebellious, talking about their problems

WOA!! Any hit home for you?

You may be wondering what is the name of this horrible disease with so many awful symptoms?

PRIDE.  def: “The mindset of self (a master’s mindset rather than that of a servant): a focus on self and the service of self, a pursuit of self-recognition and self-exaltation, and a desire to control and use all things for self. ”

How do you treat this disease?

Begin with a proper view of yourself..seeing yourself rightly in reference to God and others and voluntarily humbling yourself towards both for the right reasons.

What is that appropriate view of self?

-We are so VERY far beneath God and totally unworthy before Him (Ps 8:1-4)
-We are no better or no worse than others, because we are all desperately wicked and totally incapable of anything worthwhile in God’s sight on our own (John 15:5)
-There is nothing that anyone has accomplished or possesses that they should take credit for themselves (1 Corinthians 4:7)
-We basically have no worth in and of ourselves, but God has given us a place we do not deserve and has set His love on us anyway (Ephesians 2:4-7)
-God has rightly and wisely given everyone an allotment of ability that is to be used for His glory and for the purposes He has planned (Eph 2:10)

Therefore, we must truly confess and repent about our pride…(Job is a great example. If you are so motivated, read Job 42:2-6).  Then we put on humility.

****Please note: do not read this post and overanalyze your self and constantly examine yourself the point of introspection. I am GUILTY of this and it is again a manifestation of pride…constant focus on myself.****

My prayers is that I can do the following: Identify the disease. Repent. Take on Humility and MOVE ON to be used for His Glory and Purposes!!!

Thank you for walking the journey with me and letting me share the work God is doing in my life!

This information on pride came from the booklet, “From Pride to Humility: A Biblical Perspective” by Stuart Scott

90 second rule

16 Mar

Another piece of information that i learned from Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor that completely applies to parenting is the “90 second rule”.

She informed us it takes 90 seconds for you think a thought, stimulate the emotional circuitry, and then run the physiological circuit.

For example, your child refuses to bend his body and sit in the car seat. Depending on how the rest of the day went, your first thought is “why does he always make life so difficult?” which then stimulates your emotion of frustration and anger, which then runs to your body to make you push and pull on him harder, perhaps raise your voice. (all this is conjecture…i’ve never been frustrated with my children) =)

Her solution to this emotional process is that instead of engaging in it, to observe it.

So you have a thought, you look at your watch and start the timer. If you wait the 90 seconds then the wave of emotion will pass and you can move on calmly.

She also encouraged us to not get upset that we have emotions, but to be thankful that we were given the ability to express them. Her appreciation stems from her inability to express emotions following her stroke.

90 Seconds from sad to glad

 However, if we want to avoid expressing negative emotions…start the timer and wait 90 seconds!!

Let me know if it works!

Safe Amygdala

10 Mar

Last week I went to my annual speech-language pathology conference. It’s my chance to go to a fun Texas city, hang out with girlfriends and expand this stay-at-home mommy brain.

This year the keynote speaker was Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor. She wrote the New York Times bestseller, “My Stroke of Insight”. She is a neuroanatomist who had a stroke and then documented her 8 year recovery.

As she spoke I couldn’t help but apply her insight to parenting.

One point she made was about the area at the middle-base of the brain that includes the amygdala and the hippocampus (see diagram below…don’t you feel smarter?)

When she had her stroke her entire left side of her brain was affected…the left side is your language center. So she had all the pictures saved but no labels for them. This experience made her aware of the importance of the amygdala. One of its many jobs is as the emotional gatekeeper. It asks the question: “Am I safe?”. If the amygdala feels safe it triggers the hippocampus, which is essential for learning/memory.

While she was in the early stages of her recovery, her learning was directly affected by how her therapists approached her during a therapy session. If their tone was intense or raised her amygdala told her she was unsafe and her learning halted.

As moms when we see our kids we need to see their amygdalas…do they feel safe? If they don’t feel safe because our tone is harsh, our facial expressions are angry or the environment is uncertain then their learning process is negatively affected.

SOOOO one of my new goals (which i’ve already failed at many times today) is to see my boys’  amygdalas and make sure they feel safe.

what’s a boy?

23 Feb

Sometimes when i’m with my boys  and one of them does something a little nutty I may hear: “He is such a boy”.

But recently I realized I have 3 different versions of a “boy”. So what really is a boy?

I’ve brainstormed and found some common denominators of what makes up a “boy”.

1) Adventurous Explorers

All 3 boys are adventurous and love to check out new things. However, one boy is more imaginative in his exploring, creating whole worlds as he goes on adventures. Another is more desctructive in his explorations, tearing things apart to see how they work. But they are all physical in their exploring…climbing, running, flipping…

My advice: boys are going to be adventerous, so provide positive outlets for exploring. Create obstacle courses. Let them roam outside without smothering them. EVERYDAY! (yes everyday) Let them get dirty. Give them tools to explore…shovels, magnifying glasses, binoculars, walkie talkies. Have a family couch that you don’t mind them climbing. Let them create mountains of pillows, forts, pirate ships with your family couch. Also provide firm boundaries of what is NOT okay in their exploring…expect them to test those boundaries frequently.

Of course from what i’ve said above you can see that boys are physical. They love a good wrestle match. We have a lot of races…on bikes, plasma cars, foot. I dress up in a hulk costume and chase them around the house. Anyway to get them moving and get that energy out. 

2)  Competitive

Whether it’s in a sport or just for your attention. Boys are competitive.  It helps if you have more than one boy or child in your house for this one to work in your favor (girls can be equally as competitive).

My advice:  Use this to your advantage…this past summer we had a contest each day for who used the gentlest words. Sometimes we have a competition for who has the best manners at the dinner table (using their napkin, utensils properly, staying in their seats). We always use competition to help with eating their food. We never force our kids to eat, we just ask if they are done with food  and can their brother have the rest…works like a charm every time. They instantly become interested in the food that has been offered to their sibling.

3) Visual

We’ve heard that men are more visual than auditory in their attention (we did have husbands before we had boys). It feels like i’m talking to myself sometimes.  Even though they are typically more visual,(I  have two boys who love books) I have one boy who is more tactile than visual or auditory in his learning style (would rather eat a book).

My advice:  make sure you have your son’s eye contact before giving a direction. Get down on his level so you are eye to eye.  Use drawings to help with the day’s schedule or with a difficult behavioral transition. You can even draw social stories for patterns of bad behavior…ex, hitting at school (draw pics of them helping with their hands or other ways to tell a friend what they want).  Review the story before you go to school or after an “incident”.

4) Aggressive

Most boys i’ve interacted with have gone through some phase of aggression. Typically it pops up around 2 years of age and may not disappear until 3. My eldest was almost kicked out of his mothers day out program for biting (right around the time my second was born…can we say disaster!). My 2nd started hitting right when we switched mothers day out programs so fortunately the behavior did not appear at the new school. My 3rd is already hitting and he is 18 months.

My advice:  don’t overreact. If they get a big reaction from you it just fuels the fire. Don’t be surprised that your precious baby is hurting others. just expect it will happen. Then you won’t overreact. If you witness the “incident”, stay calm, hold his hand (if it’s hitting) and look straight in his eyes and say “hands are not for hitting. hands are for helping.” or “no hitting. hitting hurts.” If he  are older you can give him words, “I know you are mad, say ‘I’m mad’ (or i want that toy or i didn’t like that). Then move on. If he is really upset remove them him the situation to calm down. For my biter I had to give him an alternative behavior to do instead of biting when he got upset. We practiced at home stomping his feet when he was mad and practiced words he could say. Then here is the big question, “do I spank for hitting?”. If you are a spanking family, the best thing i’ve heard is to tell your child after you spank them; “You hit out of anger. You are being spanked b/c i love you and I want things to go well for you. God says if you obey your parents things will go well for you.”

5) Need for power

This may not just be true for boys, but I know my 3 boys are all lovers of power. They do not like me to tell them what to do or how to do it. Power struggles are often the result of me over-instructing, over-correcting, over-directing. One of my boys is more willing to do what we say overtly but may disobey us behind our back. The other two boys are a little more overt in their spiritness (aka stubbornness).

My advice:  give choices when you can but make sure they know you are still the ultimate authority. Have routines (we have breakfast, clean up breakfast, get dressed, play, then have snack, etc) then there won’t be as many power struggles. Put them in charge of things. My boys are in charge of putting their shoes in a “cubby” when we walk in the house. I put the snacks in a cabinet that they can get into to chose their own. They take their plates to the table after a meal. Try to say 3 positive, encouraging things for every 1 direction/correction/instruction.

I love my three boys…in all their similarities and all their differences…i love all their BOYNESS!! =)

Momheart

22 Feb

i had the flu. for a week. i wasn’t able to do a lot of the things i had planned to do.

One thing that went on this past weekend was the momheart conference. This conference was started by Sally Clarkson (read her books!) for moms to encourage them to continue to parent intentionally. I’m in a momheart group with several other moms and a great leader (she has four grown boys! love that!). Most of them were at the conference.

i was in bed. reading tweets. from the momheart conference.

these quotes were sooooo awesome i was inspired while lying in bed!  here they are for your enjoyment:

“YOU are just the mom God wants for your children”

“Have faith in your kids, have faith in God.”

“Speak loving words over, about and to your children…often!”

“The spirit of a woman to speak light into darkness can change a whole family’s history.”

“Our children learn how to believe & persevere by watching us how do we handle trouble/discouragement.”

“Prov. 31 woman ‘clothed herself’ with strength and dignity…she had to ‘put’ it on. It’s a choice to be made.”

“You must cultivate contentment in your own heart.”

“While you are parenting your children God is parenting you. He is a good Father.”

“Do you wake up to your kids or FOR your kids.”

“You are not defined by the circumstances of your life God is a god who loves redeeming & cultivating”

“What are you doing in front of your children? What are you speaking in front of your children? Is it pleasing to God.”

“God hates whiners! It’s not dignified! It’s not spiritual!”

“He desires for you to be happy & shallow but to be holy.”

“Your spirit is a testimony to others. How you exemplify confidence & trust God influences others.”

“Don’t give up on your ideals. Stay faithful. be an overcomer.”

“It is God’s will for you to be an overcomer, for you to be filled with his love!  God wants you to be victorious!”

“May our children be drawn to the light of Christ in us.”

“Initiate love with your kids.”

“Godly, strong, overcoming women who have a testimony don’t happen by accident.”

Feel inspired and empowered? hope so!!

seeds

28 Jan

In my last post ( https://themacboys.wordpress.com/2011/01/21/lessons-from-frog-and-toad/) I introduced the idea that maybe I work too hard to make my children into something.  Perhaps I need to trust God, allow pain to happen and be there shining Christ’s love…and they will grow.

Today a new piece of this analogy came alive for me while I was listening to Caroline Boykin at MOPs speak about “The Well Versed Family”. She very clearly stated the amazing benefits of scripture memory with your children.  She quoted Joe White (of kanakuk camps) who said “Scripture memory is the single-most-effective life-shaping tool in a parents’ toolbox!” 

The one problem I had with my previous post is that I do feel like as parents we have been given a vital role. We can’t completely stand back and just let our kids grow. We have been given a mission field with our kids. Our job is to train them in the way they should go.  We are training them for HIS glory, not our own. We are teaching them to listen to HIS voice, not just ours.  In addition, today I realized, we are PLANTING THE SEEDS OF SCRIPTURE IN THEIR HEARTS!

By giving our kids the gift of God’s word in their hearts we are giving them truth that no one can take away. A standard. Something to direct their path.  Words to encourage. Wisdom. Confidence. Once we have planted those seeds we can allow God to work.

For Christmas this year Watts got the “Seeds family worship” CDs (www.seedsfamilyworship.net). These CDs are amazing. The lyrics of the songs are scripture and even integrate the reference for the verse.  The music is wonderful and great to listen to. During the times of the day when the wheels are coming off (mid-morning and early evening) I just pop these CDs in and the whole environment of our home improves. I’ve often heard the boys singing the songs around the house…which means they are quoting scripture. amazing!!

Caroline presented so many wonderful ways to teach your children scripture throughout your day. She has a book filled with her ideas. It’s called “the well versed family” Get it here: www.wellversedfamily.com .

This past summer I realized how easily the boys learned scripture.  My boys (like most kids and particularly boys) have a lot of energy. So I knew one way to help with our scripture memory was to make it a physical activity. We started with Proverbs 3:5-6. Which begins “Trust in the Lord with all your heart…” I had the boys stand on our living room ottoman facing away from me and then doing a trust fall into my arms as they said the verse.  Once I caught them we spinned around and repeated the rest of the verse…”and lean not on your own understanding. in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths.”

Another scripture idea that I got from Caroline and implemented a couple years ago when I first heard her speak is Proverbs 15:1, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” This has been helpful in conflicts between the boys and has even been quoted back to me when I’ve used some harsh words. oops!!

lessons from frog and toad

21 Jan

Reading a story to the boys from the classic “Frog and Toad” I was struck by a parenting parallel. Before I explain, here is the story…

It’s called “The Garden”:

Frog was in his garden. Toad came walking by. “What a fine garden you have, Frog, ” he said. “Yes,” said Frog.  “It is very nice, but it was hard work.”

“I wish I had a garden, ” said Toad. “Here are some flower seeds.  Plant them in the ground, ” said Frog “and soon you will have a garden.” “How soon?” asked Toad.  “Quite soon, ” said Frog.

Toad ran home.  He planted the flower seeds. “Now seeds, ” said Toad, “start growing.” Toad walked up and down a few times.  The seeds did not start to grow.  Toad put his head close to the ground and said loudly, “Now seeds, start growing!” Toad looked at the ground again.  The seeds did not start to grow.

Toad put his head very close to the ground and shouted, “NOW SEEDS, START GROWING!”  Frog came running up the path. “What is all this noise?” he asked. “My seeds will not grow,” said Toad. “You are shouting too much, ” said Frog. “These poor seeds are afraid to grow.” “My seeds are afraid to grow?” asked Toad.

“Of course,” said Frog. “Leave them alone for a few days. Let the sun shine on them, let the rain fall on them. Soon your seeds will start to grow.”

That night Toad looked out his window.  “Drat!” said Toad.  “My seeds have not started to grow.  They must be afraid of the dark.”  Toad went out to his garden with some candles.  “I will read the seeds a story,” said Toad.  “Then they will not be afraid.”  Toad read a long story to his seeds. All the next day Toad sang songs to his seeds.  All the next day Toad read poems to his seeds.  And all the next day Toad played music to his seeds.  Toad looked at the ground.  The seeds still did not start to grow.  “What shall I do?” cried Toad.  “These must be the most frightened seeds in the whole world!”  Then Toad felt very tired and he fell asleep.

“Toad, Toad, wake up, ” said Frog.  “Look at your garden!”  Toad looked at his garden.  Little green plants were coming up out of the ground. “At last,” shouted Toad, “my seeds have stopped being afraid to grow!” “And now you will have a nice garden too, ” said Frog. “Yes,” said Toad, “but you were right, Frog.  It was very hard work.”

As I read this story to the boys I couldn’t help feeling like I was toad. These boys were my seeds.  I was under the impression that I needed to correct, instruct and direct to get them to grow.  I felt that it was what I did that made them grow. Instead I needed to take Frog’s advice: “Let the sun shine on them. Let the rain fall on them. and they will grow.”  To expand on frog’s thoughts, I would change it from “sun” to “Son”.  If I let Jesus’ love shine on them and let the “rain” in life fall on them, they would learn and grow. Of course this is an exagerration but i think i air on the over-controlling side of parenting rather than the “love and lead” kind of parenting.

Another way I learned from Toad was how hard he worked to make the seeds unafraid and to stimulate their growth…singing, reading, playing music, etc.  All his efforts didn’t change the outcome. The seeds still grew the way God intended.

I would love to think that all the things I do for my boys are helping them to become the men God intends them to become. However, I also need to realize that God knows exactly the men these boys will grow to be and me running around like a crazy person isn’t going to change that.

Just like a gardener, I need to allow the Son to shine on my boys, allow the rain to fall, keep the weeds away, and allow God to do the rest.

thanks frog and toad

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