Happiness Now! by Robert Holden

I believe that, contrary to popular opinion, a baby's favorite toy is not a thing, it's a moment—a moment called now. Children are born only with an awareness of now— past and future are meaningless at first. In the beginning, now is the whole world to children, their entire playground. This fascination and reverence for now is entirely natural; it is neither learned nor fabricated.

"Without attention, happiness is nowhere; with attention, happiness is now here. Attention is freedom from all. Attention offers all."

It was approximately nine years after meeting Avanti that I sat down together with my first wife, Miranda, to read a book called A Course in Miracles, which changed my life forever. It is a remarkable work that offers spiritual psychology training as it transforms our fearful thoughts into loving thoughts, and in giving up our ego for our real unconditional Self.

As the book says: "Salvation requires the acceptance of but one thought; you are as God created you, not what you made of yourself."

Paul was a self-made multimillionaire. He told me so the first time we met. He talked and I listened. He told me about his wife, his life, his work, and, most of all, his children. "I have three children I love more than anything," he said. "I want to give them everything I didn't have when I grew up. I tell them constantly that they can be what they want. I encourage them to strive, to work hard, to give everything every effort, to be the best they can. I always remind them they can do better, they can give more, they can be more—there are no limits."

I listened to Paul talk about his children for almost 30 minutes. Eventually, I asked, "Paul, what are you trying to tell me?"

He paused for a moment and bowed his head. His bullish confidence and upbeat mood vanished. I think I even saw a tear. "The problem is," he said, "my children hate me. I've given them everything, and they hate me."

"Have you ever told your children that they are wonderful, right now, just the way they are?" I asked him. He obviously had not. "Paul, your children don't need to be told how great they're going to be; what they really need is to be told how loved and how wonderful they are now," I said. I also suggested that by telling his children how wonderful he thinks they are now he was also investing wisely in their future.

Paul had only one hesitation: "What if I tell them they're complete and whole as you say and then they get complacent?!" We explored this common fear for a while.

"Would you have become complacent if your father had ever once told you he loved you?" I asked.

"Certainly not," said Paul.

"Well, you have your answer then. See the Light in your children now, Paul. See the Light in them, for their sake and yours. Trust in their Light, for their sake and yours. See the Light," I said.

Over time, I began to have a change of heart. I started to realize that the greatest psychotherapy of all is not in pointing out people's problems and failures, but rather, in pointing people toward their Light.

Years earlier I'd read the works of the Greek philosopher Pythagoras, who had said: "There is no illness, only ignorance."20 Now, at last, I was beginning to see that maybe the ignorance he was referring to was the forgetting and separating from the Light of our unconditioned Self.

It was during our last session together that I asked Michael, "What is the most important lesson you've learned about happiness?"

Michael paused. He didn't speak for a full two minutes or so. Then he smiled and said, "In my 20s, I worked so damned hard that I hoped I'd be happy in my 30s; in my 30s, I struggled every day so that I might be happy in my 40s; in my 40s, I sacrificed everything so as to be happy in my 50s. Now that I'm 50, I don't want to wait until my 60s! All my life I've been struggling and searching for happiness, instead of just being happy. I'm ready to give up the search and be happy now."

Nothing in the world can make you happy; everything in the world can encourage you to be happy.

Once beyond poverty, further economic growth does not appreciably improve human morale.

When people are depressed, they often say, "Nothing makes me happy." This is the truth! Indeed, the first stage of depression is very often disillusion with the world. The world gives us the appearance of happiness, but not the source. It's like a hyped-up glossy holiday brochure that fails to deliver. The way out of depression is, therefore, to know that (1) the world cannot make you happy, and (2) your happiness exists within.

No amount of "doing" can compensate completely for a lack of "being."

The scars on our body are not a shame to us, but on the contrary, they represent our determination, bravery and courage in facing pain and obstacles.

Quote by myself.

Please understand that you're so much stronger than you think. If life has taught me anything its that you're parents don't define you, you're actions do. You only have one life and one shot at it. As long as you continue to react so strongly to them, you give them the power to upset you, which allows them to control you. Keep your chin up and never stop being yourself.

From <https://www.quotev.com/quiz/12160078/Do-You-Have-Toxic-Parents>

Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese Buddhist author and teacher, offers a beautiful lesson to the world through his ministry of peace and Self-acceptance. He encourages us to continually give up trying to be happy and simply be happy. He writes:

Do we need to make a special effort to enjoy the beauty of the blue sky? Do we have to practice to be able to enjoy it? No, we just enjoy it. Each second, each minute of our lives can be like this. Wherever we are, any time, we have the capacity to enjoy the sunshine, the presence of each other, even the sensation of our breathing. We don't need to go to China to enjoy the blue sky. We don't have to travel into the future to enjoy our breathing. We can be in touch with these things right now. 10

The suffering ethic pins its hopes on the idea that suffering is both a suitable atonement for your unworthiness, and an adequate payment for happiness. The great hope is that "X" amounts of suffering will earn, pay for, buy, or help you deserve "Y" amounts of happiness. The truth is, though, that . . .

no amount of suffering can buy

you any amount of happiness.

It is because the world is so full of suffering, that your happiness is a gift.

It is because the world is so full of poverty,

that your wealth is a gift.

It is because the world is so unfriendly,

that your smile is a gift.

It is because the world is so full of war,

that your peace of mind is a gift.

It is because the world is in such despair,

that your hope and optimism is a gift.

It is because the world is so afraid,

that your love is a gift.

No amount of self-improvement can make up for a lack of Self-acceptance.

Sometimes, as the French novelist Marcel Proust once wrote: "The voyage of discovery lies not in finding new landscapes, but in having new eyes."10 To be happy, we must be willing to see things differently and to see ourselves differently.

Make a point, therefore, of knowing what the date is today, because this date is a one-time thing. Today will never, ever happen again. Bearing this in mind, how will you choose to live today? Today isn't a practice run—the game is on already!

7. Throughout life's complications, you should maintain such a sense of elegance.

12. In your present temperament, hide the path you have traveled, the books you have read and the people you have loved.你现在的气质里，藏着你走过的路，读过的书和爱过的人。

13. Traversing mountains and rivers, the world is worth.遍历山河，人间值得。

Your ego, born of lack, has a "do or die" mentality. It would encourage you first "to do" and then "to have" so as "to be." For example: do a good job, have a big income, so as to be happy. Your unconditioned Self would have you first be and then you can do what you like and you can have what you like. Be first!

The news is out—"There is no future!" Please understand that this isn't a message of despair; it is simply a statement of truth. I repeat: "There is no future!" Therefore, don't save your best for the future. Don't wait to give your best to the next job, the next time, the next person, or the next opportunity. Give your best now!