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Sunday, June 8th, 2003
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21:28PM - maybe God will deliver this message
if any of you would happen to see or speak to Donnelle, tell her what I'll never get to tell her myself:
I love her, miss her so much and I wish things could be different between us. I don't understand what happened to make her do what she did to me and I probably never will. She was the best thing in my life and every day without her has been the worst day of my life. I feel bad about her current situation and I wish I could do something to help her because I do worry about her. But if she had stayed with me everything would be alright, for both of us. I wish I could hold her in my arms just one more night so I could tell her all these things myself. I want so much to have things right between us but that is not really possible unless she takes the steps to make it possible. I wish her good luck and I hope everything works out for her in some way. Good-bye Donnelle because I'm never going to see you again.
current mood:  depressed (5 satisfied customers | fuck the hell out of me)
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21:15PM - everything you say to me takes me one step closer to the edge
I'm pathetic. My life is pathetic. My job is pathetic. I'm like the kitchen bitch there. And now everyone is fucking with me about Stacy. It's pissing me off and they won't listen to me. Fuck the world. Why should I even care anymore? I HATE being in my apartment alone all the time. I hate not having anyone to hold right now. I'm depressed again. Nothing is fun anymore. And now I've come to the conclusion that Donnelle never really cared about me at all. I cared about her a lot. I gave her my virginity and she never cared about me. I can't give my virginity to someone different like a class ring. That's how I have to remember the first girl I ever slept with? A cold-hearted ho? If she cared even a little she wouldn't have done what she did. I should have realized it when it happened so fast. All she wanted was sex. She never wanted to care or wanted anything real. ANd my stupid, pathetic loser ass had to go and start falling in love with the ho. I mean, no girls ever wanted to fuck me before her. And none of them do now. I'm a loser. My life sucks. I don't care so why should anyone else?
current mood: depressed (fuck the hell out of me)
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