last day of break

the end is never fun when it leaves no anticipation of a new, better beginning. it has been forever since i have been on this stupid thing.

my life has changed so much in just these past few months, and when i actually think back to an EXACT year ago...i am astounded. what a whirlwind i have been caught up in. high emotions, jealousy, uncertainty, love, hate, infatuation, confusion, depression, euphoria, ecstasy...around and around and around...up and down. suicidal threats and attempts. betrayal and infidelity.

and all i can account for it now it a numb sense of pain. i am lost as to what i should do, how i should feel, so i go on each day doing what i "must" with no idea of a goal to reach. i have lost a light in me. i just dont care much anymore. one single tear falls down my cheek at this moment and i cant even figure out why it should.

i am such a mess.

i am lost. a lost, lonely little girl.

i spend much time with friends bc sitting at home makes me unhappy and alone.

i wont have a roommate next semester, so i will be alone then, too. and this time, i will really have no one there. but i guess it is for the best.