well, since the beginning of march I've had a nice job. I've been working as a web developer for a company in the next town over. All felt like it was going well. I was working on such projects as a furniture outlet, a bra site, a HIPs (House Information Pack) site and a fully javascripted website (which was a bit of a headache). All seemed great, I was enjoying most of the days and most of the actual work as well.
On Wednesday May 21st I was sent home because I was ill. I had spent most of the weekend sniffling and Monday wasn't any better. Tuesday came along and I really felt like crap but I still went in. Wednesday came around and i was still coughing and spluttering and didn't feel a lot better.. so they sent me home.. Which was ok. I borrowed the work's laptop and travelled home. As soon as i got home I tucked myself up and got on with some work. I was in contact with my office via MSN (Windows Live) Messenger and it seemed to be ok.
Thursday came and there was little or no contact from the office.. I got asked to do a task which I did. I then got asked to look at something else.. I told them that I would do so, but would need information to assist with that, namely the ftp details of the server for that particular client. I received no response. An hour later I re-asked for the details I needed to do the work they required. No response.
Friday came, and the office asked if I had done the task they asked for. I told them no, as I hadn't received the information I needed to do it, they said they had not received the message and so I copy pasted the relevant messages (had not closed the conversation window so it was all still there). There was no response to this all day, or to the question of was there anything that they wanted me to work on that day. I just shook it off.
The weekend was spent resting some more and I felt slightly better :)
Monday was a bank holiday, so wasn't expected to go to work and Tuesday I had booked off.
Tuesday was full of the fun of having random people traipse through my flat. This was mainly due to the fact that my housing association was upgrading the aerials and being a top flat I had both mine and the aerial for the downstairs ground floor flat in my loft space. So that was completed about 4pm ... even though work had completely forgotten that I had book that day off.
So Wednesday came around and I was still a bit croaky but was well enough to go into work, So in i went. I arrived on time and after setting up the laptop making a cup of coffee and sorting myself out I was called into a meeting. There I was told that my services were no longer required as the work load had pretty much diminished. They said it was nothing personal but it still hit home like a hammer to the heart really hard but I held myself together and went and got on with cleaning up the laptop computer I had been using for the work.
While I was doing so, I was watched and scrutinized like I had done something wrong or was going to do something wrong, this just felt horrible. To have this trust in me questioned repeatedly in that short amount of time really didn't sit comfortably, after the amount of effort I put in I got slightly angry. Well I gathered my things and I Left work and as I got out I started to cry.
I called my Girlfriend and she helped me feel better (I hated having to do this on her birthday of all days) but still feel like crap. I placed a few other calls to people that needed to know and then got a call from my housing association. I had to explain the situation to them in regards to my rent.. which is a pain.. but it was all sorted out.
Got back to my home town and then went around to sort out forms for benefits again ( I don't really like being on benefits at all) and went home. Got on with some work that i have for some other clients and then went to the gaming club that is in the next town over, played some M:tG. Got home about 1am and went to bed.
Thursday was pretty much the same.. Friday came along and I had a Bailiff at my door, that was due to over due council tax. made an arrangement with that, and then sorted out more stuff for the web client and then rushed off to the housing benefit people to drop off the form. Got some shopping on the way home etc. Boring but ok.
The whole thing with losing this job has just left me feeling with little self worth. I know that I have a good girlfriend, she really rocks my world. I just feel down and depressed and as such have been pretty much (as my friend Jade pointed out - yes you were right sorry about arguing over that) Comfort eating. I just feel like there isn't anything worth while (other than Kelly) that is worth being alive for right now. The Mentally stable part of me knows that this is silly and is fighting this feeling but doesn't feel like it's winning.
And on top of all of this, my glue-ear issue has blocked my ears, got an appointment with the nurse on Friday next (6th) to have them syringed. Oh the Joy.
On Wednesday May 21st I was sent home because I was ill. I had spent most of the weekend sniffling and Monday wasn't any better. Tuesday came along and I really felt like crap but I still went in. Wednesday came around and i was still coughing and spluttering and didn't feel a lot better.. so they sent me home.. Which was ok. I borrowed the work's laptop and travelled home. As soon as i got home I tucked myself up and got on with some work. I was in contact with my office via MSN (Windows Live) Messenger and it seemed to be ok.
Thursday came and there was little or no contact from the office.. I got asked to do a task which I did. I then got asked to look at something else.. I told them that I would do so, but would need information to assist with that, namely the ftp details of the server for that particular client. I received no response. An hour later I re-asked for the details I needed to do the work they required. No response.
Friday came, and the office asked if I had done the task they asked for. I told them no, as I hadn't received the information I needed to do it, they said they had not received the message and so I copy pasted the relevant messages (had not closed the conversation window so it was all still there). There was no response to this all day, or to the question of was there anything that they wanted me to work on that day. I just shook it off.
The weekend was spent resting some more and I felt slightly better :)
Monday was a bank holiday, so wasn't expected to go to work and Tuesday I had booked off.
Tuesday was full of the fun of having random people traipse through my flat. This was mainly due to the fact that my housing association was upgrading the aerials and being a top flat I had both mine and the aerial for the downstairs ground floor flat in my loft space. So that was completed about 4pm ... even though work had completely forgotten that I had book that day off.
So Wednesday came around and I was still a bit croaky but was well enough to go into work, So in i went. I arrived on time and after setting up the laptop making a cup of coffee and sorting myself out I was called into a meeting. There I was told that my services were no longer required as the work load had pretty much diminished. They said it was nothing personal but it still hit home like a hammer to the heart really hard but I held myself together and went and got on with cleaning up the laptop computer I had been using for the work.
While I was doing so, I was watched and scrutinized like I had done something wrong or was going to do something wrong, this just felt horrible. To have this trust in me questioned repeatedly in that short amount of time really didn't sit comfortably, after the amount of effort I put in I got slightly angry. Well I gathered my things and I Left work and as I got out I started to cry.
I called my Girlfriend and she helped me feel better (I hated having to do this on her birthday of all days) but still feel like crap. I placed a few other calls to people that needed to know and then got a call from my housing association. I had to explain the situation to them in regards to my rent.. which is a pain.. but it was all sorted out.
Got back to my home town and then went around to sort out forms for benefits again ( I don't really like being on benefits at all) and went home. Got on with some work that i have for some other clients and then went to the gaming club that is in the next town over, played some M:tG. Got home about 1am and went to bed.
Thursday was pretty much the same.. Friday came along and I had a Bailiff at my door, that was due to over due council tax. made an arrangement with that, and then sorted out more stuff for the web client and then rushed off to the housing benefit people to drop off the form. Got some shopping on the way home etc. Boring but ok.
The whole thing with losing this job has just left me feeling with little self worth. I know that I have a good girlfriend, she really rocks my world. I just feel down and depressed and as such have been pretty much (as my friend Jade pointed out - yes you were right sorry about arguing over that) Comfort eating. I just feel like there isn't anything worth while (other than Kelly) that is worth being alive for right now. The Mentally stable part of me knows that this is silly and is fighting this feeling but doesn't feel like it's winning.
And on top of all of this, my glue-ear issue has blocked my ears, got an appointment with the nurse on Friday next (6th) to have them syringed. Oh the Joy.
