Why Char Aznable Did Not Drop Poop [A Joke Analysis]
This text is an English translation from Japanese. AI (Claude) was used for the translation. In cases where the meaning or nuance differs between the English and Japanese versions, the Japanese version shall take precedence as the authoritative source.
This paper is a thoroughly ridiculous examination of what Char Aznable should have done in Char's Counterattack, revisiting events from the One Year War through the lens of various animated works.
1. Poop
First, let us use myself as a model case and consider how much poop a living human produces. According to Mayado Pharmaceutical Co., Ltd.*1, the average daily poop output for a Japanese person is 150–200g.
Assume 150–200g per day
Assume weight increases due to alcohol consumption between ages 20–43
From (1) and (2), assume 150g/day for ages 0–19 and 200g/day for ages 20–43
For the 20-year period from ages 0–19: 20 years: 20×365 = 7,300 days Stool volume: 7,300×150 = 1,095,000g ≈ approximately 1.1 tons ... [1]
For the 14-year period from ages 20–43: 24 years: 24×365 = 8,760 days Stool volume: 8,760×200 = 1,752,000g ≈ approximately 1.8 tons ... [2]
[1]+[2] = 2.9 tons
To put this in more relatable terms (assuming water density = 1):
Mini car: approximately 3.2 cars (at 900kg each) Bathtub: approximately 14 tubs (at 200L each) 2L plastic bottle: approximately 1,420 bottles Curry pot: approximately 285 pots (assuming a 10L family-size pot)
2. Colony Drop
Next, let us consider the impact if the Principality of Zeon dropped all of its citizens' poop on Earth instead of a colony.
Assume 44 years' worth of poop had been stored
Assume the population of the Principality of Zeon is 150 million (per ChatGPT)
The total mass to be dropped would be 2.9×150,000,000 = 427,050,000, or approximately 430 million tons. If dropped from space at 8km/s, the kinetic energy would be as follows:
E = 1/2mv² = 1/2×4.3×10^11×(8000)² = 1.376×10^19 ≈ approximately 1.4×10^19 J
Since 1 megaton TNT ≈ 4.184×10^15 J, the explosive yield would be:
1.376×10^19 / 4.184×10^15 = 3288.7 ≈ approximately 3,300 megatons TNT
In other words, in Tsar Bomba equivalents (50–100 megatons TNT), this is 33–66 bombs. Given that a colony drop in the lore wiped out part of the Australian continent, a poop drop would be vastly less destructive.
However, in the case of poop, the thermal effects upon atmospheric entry cannot be ignored. It is therefore predicted that the poop would affect Earth as an "ultra-high-temperature organic cloud (formerly poop)." We will analyze this "ultra-high-temperature organic cloud (formerly poop)" from two angles appropriate to its nature: pathogens and pyrolysis byproducts.
- Pathogens
There are depictions of the colony glowing red-hot upon atmospheric entry, and the MS-06 Zaku (armor material: ultra-hard steel alloy) burning up entirely in the atmosphere. Taking the "ultra-hard" in ultra-hard steel alloy as a reference to tungsten carbide, its melting point would be 2,870°C. The probability of any bacteria in the poop surviving at this temperature is essentially zero. From this, it can be said that its utility as a biological weapon capable of causing infectious disease is virtually nil.
- Pyrolysis Byproducts
The main components of feces are water, dietary fiber, organic matter from gut bacteria, nitrogen compounds, phosphates, and sulfur compounds. When heated to extreme temperatures, the expected byproducts are CO2, CO, NOx, SOx, and carbon particles. Of these, carbon particles, NOx, and SOx are considered to have the greatest impact.
Regarding carbon particles: these are already an issue in large-scale forest fires and volcanic eruptions. In other words, the particles themselves are the problem. Hundreds of millions of tons of organic matter combusting could generate thousands of tons of carbon particles.*2 Of those capable of penetrating and floating in the stratosphere — estimated at a few percent — if distributed over a specific region or globally, they could block sunlight, causing surface temperature drops, declining agricultural output, and abnormal weather patterns. However, it is also thought that this would not immediately render Earth uninhabitable. Additionally, it is thought that phosphorus and nitrogen would be supplied to the oceans, which could in some cases temporarily promote phytoplankton growth, though red tides and, if growth is excessive, hypoxia are also concerns.
Next are NOx and SOx. These are known as raw materials for acid rain. Therefore, widespread acid rain damage is a concern. However, it is also expected that sulfur would certainly be in lesser quantities than from a volcanic eruption.
From the above, if a mass poop drop on Earth were carried out, the impact on human civilization is predicted to proceed in the following order:
Thermal decomposition of poop upon atmospheric entry ↓ Generation of a massive organic aerosol ↓ Soot floating in the stratosphere ↓ Several months to several years of reduced solar radiation, and widespread acid rain damage ↓ Decline in agricultural production ↓ Soaring food prices
In this way, it is estimated that launching a massive amount of poop toward Earth could create a small-scale "impact winter" of organic origin.
3. Char's Counterattack
From the analyses of Sections 1 and 2, it can be said that what Char Aznable should have dropped in Char's Counterattack was not the 5th Luna or Axis, but poop. The reasons are as follows:
Poop collection is unlikely to raise alarm with the Earth Federation Government
Even if the Federation tried to push it back with a V-Gundam as in the original, poop is amorphous and therefore impossible to push back
During the One Year War, it can be said that Char Aznable achieved a certain objective — namely, nearly all members of the Zabi family whom he sought revenge against died during the war, with the exception of Mineva Zabi. After the One Year War, Char went through a period of hiding and joined AEUG under the name Quattro Bajeena. His despair at the corruption of the Earth Federation Government during this period connected to his ideology in Char's Counterattack of forcibly moving humanity from Earth into space. Therefore, his reason for dropping meteorites (5th Luna, Axis) was not to destroy Earth, but to create conditions where humans could no longer live on it. Put more simply, if Earth's inhabitable population were drastically reduced, his objective (his stated goal) at the time of Char's Counterattack would have been achieved (excluding, of course, his duel with Amuro Ray).
So, let us review Char Aznable's actions in the animated works from the time of the One Year War.
One Year War (Mobile Suit Gundam): Served in the Principality of Zeon military and waged a revenge campaign against the Zabi family. UC0079.
Gryps Conflict (Mobile Suit Zeta Gundam): Fought with AEUG and participated in the three-way battle between the Titans and Axis forces. UC0087.
Char's Counterattack (Mobile Suit Gundam: Char's Counterattack): Organized Neo Zeon and plotted to cool the Earth. UC0093.
Setting aside the One Year War as a revenge campaign — since Char Aznable's objective in the One Year War differs from reducing Earth's inhabitable population (this is strictly based on what can be confirmed in the animated works) — what is worth examining is his activities and objectives from the Gryps Conflict onward. For this reason, let us look at the objectives of each faction that participated in the Gryps Conflict. The three factions share a common objective: "evacuating humanity from Earth." The methods and degree of extremism differ, but they all share the goal of "creating a state where humanity no longer inhabits Earth."
- Titans
The Titans are depicted as being recognized by the public (e.g., early figures like Kamiyu Bidan) as "an organization to suppress the rise of Spacenoids (a Zeon remnant-hunting organization)." But this is their stated purpose, and what actually represents their true nature is the Axis forces' battle participation. If the Titans' stated purpose and true objective were aligned, their primary attack target would be Axis. Yet in reality, they even went as far as negotiating to join forces with Axis. So what was the Titans' true objective? It was "expelling people from Earth." This is stated explicitly in the animated works as Jamitov Hyman's true objective, as told by Haptism Scirocco.
- Axis
This is a reference from ZZ Gundam rather than Z Gundam, but Haman Karn, the effective leader of Axis, upon being defeated in her final battle with ZZ Gundam's protagonist Judau Ashta, made a statement to the effect that she "could not eliminate those who clung to the Earth." From this, it appears that while suppressing each side under the banner of Zabi family revival was one of her objectives, "evacuating humanity from Earth" was likely also one of them.
- AEUG
It is stated in the Z Gundam drama that their activities accelerated following the Bloody February incident (the massacre of a demonstration against the Earth Federation Government), and the message of that demonstration was "an appeal that all people should live in colonies." Furthermore, the animated work appears to show this message itself being accepted. Though differing in degree of extremism from the previous two, AEUG is considered an organization that carries on the claim to "stop living on Earth and live in space."
- Second Poop
The above is what Quattro Bajeena (= Char Aznable) experienced during the Gryps Conflict. In other words, he witnessed in real time a situation in which all three organizations were attempting "evacuation of humanity from Earth by force," yet all of them failed. At that point, he should have recognized that achieving "evacuation of humanity from Earth" through the use of force was either impossible or extremely difficult to the point of near-impossibility. As expected, the "forced evacuation of humanity from Earth by dropping meteorites" carried out in Char's Counterattack failed.
Of course, it is not difficult to infer that one of Char Aznable's objectives at the time of Char's Counterattack was also "a decisive battle with Amuro Ray." Therefore, forming or joining an armed faction opposing Amuro Ray and employing military force was itself inevitable.
Returning to the topic of poop: what Char Aznable chose as his method for "forced evacuation of humanity from Earth" in Char's Counterattack was creating an "impact winter via meteorite drop." Had this succeeded, humanity would have been unable to live on Earth. Of course, not just from the cold, but also in the sense of escaping the disasters from impact, they would have evacuated from Earth. But even if poop were dropped, it is estimated that similar damage to a small-scale impact winter would occur, and a certain portion of the population would have moved to space (as per Section 2 of this paper). Furthermore, merely transporting large amounts of poop to Earth would not trigger an alert from the Earth Federation Government, nor would it give the Londo Bell a reason to move (imagine: "An army came because they were hauling poop" — that's the stuff of comedy). Therefore, there would have been room to consider it as a low-risk, low-to-medium-return means of achieving his objective.
Now, let us consider what Char Aznable should have done after the Gryps Conflict. In the Gryps Conflict, Haptism Scirocco and Haman Karn fought each other a hundred times to prevent Colony Laser firing, and as a result, Char Aznable (at the time, Quattro Bajeena) went missing. This means it was a timing at which he could have changed his name and resurfaced without needing to remain as Char Aznable. Tracking the eras in the works, from the One Year War (UC0079) to Char's Counterattack (UC0093) is only 14 years. Therefore, storing 44 years' worth of poop from 150 million people as discussed in Sections 1 and 2 of this paper is impossible. However, after the Gryps Conflict (UC0087), he could have changed his name, established a fecal matter collection service, and collected from each colony. According to ChatGPT, the population of space colonies in UC0087–0088 is estimated to be in the billions. Even if we generously underestimate it at 1 billion people across all space colonies, applying the model constructed in Section 1 — using 2.9 tons per person over 44 years, applied proportionally to the 5-year period from UC0088 (end of the Gryps Conflict) to UC0093 — approximately 330 million tons of poop could be collected. While there is roughly a 100-million-ton gap compared to the 44-year figure, this amount would still be sufficient to cause the small-scale impact winter needed to drive the evacuation of humanity from Earth.
As for a storage location for the poop, under the grand name of "space colony environmental preservation and recycling of waste colonies (recycling business)," he could purchase decommissioned colonies, and the fleet of "fecal matter collection ships" making daily piston-trips from each inhabited colony would all be processed as legitimate "resource transport to waste colonies (recycling plants)." This would completely strip the legal basis for security forces like Londo Bell to conduct inspections (armed intervention by Gundam).
From the above, it can be said that what Char Aznable should have done after the Gryps Conflict was not seizing Sweet Water and declaring Neo Zeon, but building Neo Zeon as a sanitation company.
Note: In this paper, generative AI (Gemini, Claude, ChatGPT) was used for some knowledge searches, unit conversions, and proofreading.
*1 Kampo Column: Resolving Constipation — "Is your stool too little? Too much? Knowledge about poop to ease your worries." Mayado Pharmaceutical Co., Ltd. URL=https://www.mayado.jp/library/constipation/stool-quantity.html Confirmed 2026/06/05
*2 I estimated that a few percent of the hundreds of millions of tons would be generated as floatable particles, and further estimated conservatively that only a fraction of those could penetrate the stratosphere. The rough calculation is as follows: total poop is approximately 430 million tons; assuming poop water content is approximately 70–80%, dry organic matter is approximately 86–130 million tons. Since carbon content is approximately 40–50% of dry weight, total carbon is approximately 34–65 million tons. If we assume approximately 1–5% of that could float as soot (carbon particles) upon combustion during atmospheric entry, the scale would be approximately 340,000 to 3.25 million tons. Since the aerosol injected into the stratosphere by the 1815 eruption of Mount Tambora (a "volcanic winter" that caused agricultural devastation) is estimated at thousands of millions of tons, even if only a few percent of the generated carbon particles float in the stratosphere, it is considered to have sufficient force.
Addendum: 2026/06/06 16:18 — Added header image (AI-generated)
