More About Me

Usually, I don't really dwell on my past in a place like this, but I feel it's a great way to practice presenting myself and telling people about the paths I've walked.

Starting with a bit of my early childhood - growing up in a single father household since the age of three, raised by my father and grandmother, love and care by them as parents along with financial stability were always there for sure.

However, being an only child who was terrible at sports AND socializing with other kids made me a perfect target for 'mistreatment' every single day - all the other kids in school except for just one or two AVOIDED ME as if I were some kind of VIRUS or DISEASE CARRIER.

Well, an actual disease was in me for real... and it was a pretty serious one (although it wasn't contagoious) - my father used to take me to a neurologist every Saturday morning.

I can't remember the exact name of it, but it was something similar to tourette, and I wasn't allowed to play video games because of that.

Being unable to join other boys having all the fun with NES and SNES in their golden era was surely tough (well...if I managed to have any 'friend' first of all), and yet it was merely a small part of the suffering and struggle as a whole.

I used to SERIOUSLY imagine that ALL HUMAN BEINGS in the world (from my family and relatives to complete strangers) periodically congregate somewhere out of my sight and perform some kind of ritual calling my name and chanting "DIE, DIE…" to curse me big time.

Otherwise, it didn't make sense to me at that time why my life was such full of darkness and unreasonable events.

Tired of feeling painful and miserable for so many months and years, in the second year of my junior high school, I joined the basketball club, which was totally out of expectation by anyone who knew who I was back then.

Some PE teacher had a bad habit of covertly bullying the physcially weak or mentally shy boys, but not me anymore.

The least athletic kid in the entire school, who didn't know how to socialize with peers, now all of a sudden started playing what was considered the tougest sport by many - it quickly changed my reputation and how others would treat me in general - from utter insult to utmost respect.

This is also when I made many friends, inclduing ones that I keep in touch with still to this day.

"Show others what you've got, and they will find value in you."

This lesson I learned from this experience has boosted me so much mentally, to the point where it could be rather overconfident sometimes, turning into the driving force to overcome many more adversities in the future.

Along with my self esteem, my passion for basketball and dream of becoming a NBA player were growing quite rapidly. But it was more of a pendulum effect than pure 'dream' where I madly desired to accomplish something most people can't, in order to make up for all the misery of my earlier childhood.

I DID work very hard to get to the level I wanted to be at. I had pretty good stamina and endurance for being in the gym for hours and running outside often by myself. But being too 'aggressive' all the time, lonewolf tendencies, and inability to get along with the headcoach and many of my teammates were stifling my growth as an athlete and as a person.

After all, I was crutially lacking talent, poential, flexibility, and appreciation and respect toward my parents - remaining repercussion of lacking a stable support system. In addition, suffering from a severe back pain, for more than a year since shortly before high school graduation, was techically ending my competitive career as well.

...I realize it now as a life plan that was too fragile and unrealistic for me.

With a hollow, purposeless mind, I flew to the United States at the age of 19 and ended up living there for more than few years, simply because I felt there was nothing else I wanted to do or could do in Japan.

As my back was recovering more than enough from the injury, I probably could've pushed myself to apply for the college basketball program, and yet in the end I was unable to maintain my motivation.

Now, the next dream I found was to "make a girlfriend and graduate from my virginity" which may sound ridiculously easy for many guys (at least more so than becoming a pro in basketball), but in reality it was EXTREMELY DIFFICULT for me.

I learned enough of how to make 'just friends' from my experience in junior high school, but not quite about any deeper relationship.

Sometimes it's a mere matter of luck, and it's true that many men are happy staying virgins even though 'nothing happens' until after graduating from college.

For me personally, unsuccessful with basketball and still draging my childhood nightmare to some degree, I desperatly desired some kind of joy in life... to make up for the feel of loss, misery, and dissatisfation - and INTIMATE ENCOUNTERS WITH WOMEN of my dreams was the only answer.

Speaking of women, my biological mother, who abandoned me and my family when I was three, is the most selfish and disgusting creature I've ever seen in person (more on this some other time).

Growing up without the close presence of any woman except for my grandmother, along with the history of being 'mistreated' by girls in schools for many years, I was already dealing with so much unconscious trauma and distrust toward 'women' in general.

All these disadvantages based on my upbringing made me even thirstier for a good amount of sex and love. And yet something was blocking me from reaching that goal for a long time, and it's funny that still today I don't know what exactly it was.

But I can tell for the fact that most people don't understand what it's really like for a guy like me back then or Elliot Rodger - "Just be patient" or "Go talk to girls" was NOT a solution or effective advice at all.

They think I'm joking when I say I could've easily ended up like that boy - I just wasn't as arrogant and pessimistic as him (which have most likely saved my life in the end), but the loneliness, frustration, and inferiority complex worked together very well to affect my daily activities big time, and so my mind became twisted in many ways, much like my dreadful junior high school days before starting to play basketball.

At the worst point, I shut myself in my room for a few month and skiped all the college classes (needless to say my grades in that semester were garbage), until I get tired of doing nothing but feeling negative about my situation.

With insatiable hunger for success with females but believing that normal methods wouldn't work for my personality and English skills (especially in a pulbic place or noisy enviornment like nightclubs), the plan I went on was to keep studying sex and women like a mad scientist, until I feel super... well, overconfident about myself.

Sexual teachings by porn actresses, PUA seminar/DVDs, books, articles, and other informational contents of related topics - and yet the most meaningful part of my solo training phase was visiting Ranches (brothels) and putting all the theories I learned into practice. There I kept hearing from muitiple women that regardless of the amount of experiences or years in relatioships, most men are devastatingly horrible at pleasing women in and out of bed...which was a pretty shocking news to me back then.

In addition to the sexual incompetency of guys, I spent a lot of time thinking how certain stereotypes against Asains existed. Since I wasn't born or growing up in the U.S. I didn't exactly consider myself a part of it, but especially Asian men were often seen as physically weak, small penis, sexually unattractive etc. which was mentioned such abruptly in my college class as well.

The truth is that those are nothing but stereotypes as long as men know how to intimately communictate with women properly.

Race, size, age - none of them really matter in order to have good sex for all parties involved.

...Not to brag myself but showing it to the world by example as a polyamorous/polysexual man in a long-term interracial relationship is my great joy and passion.

As an international student, I was somewhat better at English than the majority of Japanese people around me, and so my Japanese female friends who had foreign (mostly American) boyfirends used to come to me for advice (or simply to mediate whenever they had fights or communication issues).

Meanwhile, I have heard many Japanese men 'settling' with Japanese women (or Asian at most) but secretly wishing to connect with women of different races.

In response to all those personal experieces and realities I've witnessed, I came to hope for not only my own happiness but also being able to lead and help others have better sex life, which motivated me to learn and train myself even further about intimate communication, mind and body health, and other related fields...and that's how I ended up who I am now, basically.

So who am I after all? Well, I'm just an ordinary guy in late 30s who loves basketball, card game, and good sex with good women.

When it comes to stuffs like sexual education and polyamory, there are many other influential people doing many good things for others. I certainly am certified as a lymphatic drainage therapist but have never worked in an actual salon or treated any client clinically or commercially.

And still to this day, I occasionally stutter... or speak 'unique' English, as my first language is Japanese (that you can probably tell by listening to some of my YouTube episodes).

But instead of caring so much about my weaknesses and incapabilities, I choose to rather focus on freely speaking what I want in how I want the most that I know will give somebody something quite useful.

If a tiny bit of interest or curiosity was sparked in your mind, feel free to check out other articles or find me on YouTube, Twitter/X, and other platforms.

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