In a Relationship That Has Changed Form but Still Continues — 2026/5/29 (Fri)R8

I received a message on LINE today from my son, who is currently in Gold Coast.

He sent videos of the beach and scenes of his children.
The older children were playing in the pool, and the youngest was taking a nap.
It looked like an extension of everyday life.

This exchange made me think again about my relationship with him.

My son left for New Zealand when he was 13.
From that point on, his life began to move outside the framework of Japan.

At the same time, I was working as an English teacher, taking students abroad on school trips, and also placing my own child into immersion education.
For me, overseas was not a distant dream, but part of my professional reality and, at the same time, a personal interest.

However, reality was not simple.

My work life was filled with entrance-exam English and endless grading,
while at home, different choices and responsibilities accumulated.
I also went through repeated health issues, including periods when I could not speak due to vocal cord problems, and later even stomach cancer.

In such circumstances, I could not honestly remain in a state of “peacefully watching over” my son’s life abroad.

It was less a feeling of reassurance and more a sense that I had no choice but to accept what I could not control.

During his growth, my son’s path and daily life changed many times.
I once thought he would aim for medicine, but he moved into health sciences,
and eventually chose dentistry.

After learning about the demands and realities of a doctor’s life, he said he wanted to “live a more human life,” and changed his direction.

At that point, I could no longer say anything about his choices.
Or rather, I had never really been someone who imposed directions on him in the first place.

Each time, I simply returned to the thought that “this child’s life belongs to this child.”

Financially, I did support him as a parent.
From the beginning, I treated that as something that would not come back.

Even so, he himself seems to have a desire to repay it in some form,
and small financial exchanges have begun between him and my husband.

I am rarely directly involved in those arrangements.
I also see that as a natural form of distance.

Looking back now, our relationship feels less like that of parent and child, and more like two separate individuals whose lives have continued alongside each other over a long period of time.

A child is a separate person, and so is a parent.
At the same time, we are not completely disconnected.

The form has changed, but the relationship continues.

Within that distance, each of us has no choice but to build and live our own life.

For myself, I now hold one guiding principle for the final stage of my life:
not to leave burdens behind for my children.

That is both a way of not binding his life,
and a way for me to reach a sense of completion in my own life.

The relationship continues.
Only its form is no longer the same as before.

⸻

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