Chicken Scratch

Vol 2 Update

2023-08-13T18:10:39Z

So despite the lack of posts, I am still diligently chipping away at Vol 2. It is proving to be a positively massive project, but so far I'm happy with what I've produced, even if it is unreasonably long. I'm getting to explore a lot of themes that didn't exist in the original version, at least not with any depth, and it's been an interesting change in pace moving from Vol 1 (a plot driven novel) to Vol 2 (a character driven novel). I'm not sure if anyone other than my partner will actually want to read anything this tremendously long, and ultimately it is a very grim volume, but I've enjoyed tempering the bleak plot with softer/quieter/more humorous moments.

I've broken the novel into documents containing ~100k chunks for faster load time and greater ease of editing; I'm about to need a Doc 5 as I'm 80k into Doc 4 with plenty of novel left to write. The current document includes a "side quest" absent from the original draft, namely the death of one of Trent's packmates from a drug overdose. The circumstances surrounding the individual involve a prolonged substance abuse problem as well as untreated, severe mental illness. The character in question is a hoarder (objects and cats), and I got to draw from some childhood trauma for authenticity in a way that was very cathartic. In terms of world building it's been helpful for exploring the ways poverty and substance abuse are pervasive among registered therians due to institutionalized discrimination.

This plot point proliferated in unanticipated directions that allowed me to include content/concepts I wanted in the novel but did not yet have a place to naturally bring to the page, so I'm pretty pleased with that. It also resulted in the creation of a new character who will be part of the long-term side cast, which is exciting; she is a necromancer, and I think having an adult necromancer in the circle of friends who can be a role model for Carlos growing up will be something positive that I can use to help develop his character and abilities.

I want to get some fresh prose on this account soon, but I'm having executive dysfunction about actually making new posts. I've also gotten a bit rocky on formatting in my absence from active posting on this page, so I need to give myself a refresher on that.

As a side note, writing this project made me aware of two errors I made in Vol 1. One is a "how something works on a technical level" error that was just a peculiar failure on my part to adequately research/fact check myself. The other is a failure to resolve a minor plot point. Both should be quick/easy fixes without drastically changing current content - just tweaking a few details and working in a paragraph or two. On one hand, I want to go back and fix those two errors so I feel the volume is ready to share, but I'm also very fixated on making Vol 2 progress. Either way, certainly when I'm done with Vol 2 I will make those corrections, and then I plan on finding a way I can share Vol 1 that I am comfortable with, as traditional publication and mass market self publication (ie. Amazon) both don't appeal to me.

... Maybe part of why I haven't been posting is I don't know how to wrap up. I'm done with this post, toodles?

comments

Vol 2 update/thoughts

2022-09-17T23:45:19Z

Volume 2 is still coming along. I have lost a bit of my momentum on account of illness and a promotion to a position with different hours throwing my routine (I am very much neurodivergent and take a while to settle into change). I haven't suffered a lack of writing THOUGHTS, however, and the writing notes file has grown quite a lot. There are so many things I want to touch on in this novel, and if I was a remotely reasonable person I'd split it into multiple volumes, buuuut I'm not.

I think the issue is that I have always liked the basic skeleton of the story, but the first draft was written in high school/early college and I have grown considerably as a writer since then. So much of it was poorly executed, counter-intuitive, and lacking in depth and nuance. After completing Vol 1, I had a more concrete sense of how I wanted to put forth this world and its characters, and it turned out to be a lot more involved than the spirited but novice efforts of a much younger person.

If I had to describe the changes in a few words, I would say everything in this draft is more mundane and technical as with Vol 1, with greater depth to the characters and more intricate social dynamics. Everything is either more awkward, humorous, gentle, or sad, and the violence more brutal, tragic, and devastating. Trauma is a prominent player informing the dynamics and decisions of the primary cast. It is very much a character driven story compared to Vol 1, and that is part of why it is so massive; there is a positively huge cast to this volume.

I am particularly enjoying building Trent and Sreya's relationship this go around; they've always been my "OTP" for this series even though their relationship is short-lived on account of Sreya's death. Honestly, if this volume didn't set the stage for the introduction of most of the core cast, I would be rethinking the decision to kill Sreya off, but so much of the remaining story hinges on that particular tragedy that it would demand rethinking the series as a whole. However, I don't want Sreya to JUST be a plot device, but a fully actualized and important character with an impactful death. I don't think I did her (or really any of the characters to be fair) enough justice in the first draft, so I'm having a lot of fun fleshing out her personality on a more detailed level.

Anyway, right now we're about 60k into document two (I'm having to break it up every ~100kish words or the document takes too long to load) and Gabe is currently deep in a mental shift stuck up a tree, so I suppose I should get back to that.

comments

Raze Vol 2 Snippet (CW for sexual assault)

2022-08-06T11:53:07Z

So, if it wasn't already very obvious, I use fiction to discuss social issues. One thing I don't see addressed enough in media is men as victims of sexual assault, which is unfortunate because it is also something we don't acknowledge or handle well in reality. In the initial draft of Vol 2, Veronica's behavior towards Trent was already disrespectful of physical boundaries and sexually aggressive; I decided in this draft I wanted to explore that more and the direction it ended up going was an outright assault scene. I wanted this assault to be more nuanced than overt physical violence, but rather address how consent is violated by way of manipulation - how abusers will gaslight and guilt trip and threaten and apply social pressure to achieve their goals. I also wanted to look at how toxic gender norms make men feel like they HAVE to perform sexually, because a "real man" shouldn't turn down sex - and not just how that can be weaponized against them, but how they internalize that idea and harm themselves with it.

I'm not posting the actual assault content because the scene is very long - the behavior escalates and involves two separate incidents throughout the course of their date - but I did want to share his conversation with Nadja after the fact because I think that denial and self-blame are all common behaviors where SA is concerned. I think his rationalizing and downplaying the evening's events, while not healthy, are fairly realistic things for a person to express in response to a situation like this when they haven't processed things and don't particularly want to.

This snippet starts with Trent dropping Veronica off at her apartment. He was concerned that she would try to get him to spend the night and didn't know how to decline, so he'd texted Nadja (who lives in the same complex) to please intervene when she heard them arrive. Nadja, a vampire, is a friend/sexual partner of Trent's who was mostly featured in Vol 1.5, but she makes several appearances is Vol 2 this go around because frankly I like their dynamic.

( Writing below the cut. CW for sexual aggression and discussion of sexual assault )

comments

A peek into my writer's notes

2022-07-18T23:24:16Z

So, because I am writing a positively massive, sprawling series, and also have severe memory issues, I keep a couple of Google Docs files of "writer's notes" where I jot down bits of world building, character descriptions, scenes I want to include, etc. Unlike my prose, which I think generally has at least some level of dignity to it, the notes are extremely informal and often very silly. I don't have the spoons to edit and post a full scene, but I thought y'all might get a kick out of some of the goofy things.

( Silly shit behind the cut )

comments

If you give me a silly idea, I'll run with it.

2022-07-05T00:36:49Z

So, an ongoing feature of my writing process is that if friends, loved ones, or readers give me some utterly ridiculous concept or prompt, I will often try to find a way to make it canon. A good many years ago, my spouse suggested I make "lichenthropes" - some kind of shapeshifter that looked like or was part lichen. While 'shapeshifter' did not make its way to the final concept (I wound up taking it a fae direction), the very silly idea of some kind of anthropoid lichen-mimic creature was something I thought was worth playing with, and in Vol 2 we finally get to feature the species, or at least the surrounding world building in the context of conversation. The below snippet, a conversation between Trent and Sreya on their first actual date explains lichenthropes in-world via a veterinary anecdote.

( Click for a Vol 2 snippet of lichenthrope worldbuilding )

comments

Raze Vol 2 Snippet: a first glance at Wild Woods

2022-02-13T00:36:37Z

Note: How old am I? Old enough to remember paying per text, and setting Vol 2 in 2003 accordingly.

When I returned to my office, I’d received a voicemail from Dr. Chey in response to my own indicating that public intake hours ended at 4pm but that he and Dr. Behari would be at the facility until at least five if I was still willing to swing by after work. Rather than continue playing phone tag, I decided to eat ten cents and reply via text for the sake of efficiency and indicated that I would head there promptly as soon as I finished my data entry. Since today was a two subject day, it was likely that I would arrive roughly as they closed, assuming I could successfully dodge being engaged in conversation with Dr. Finnegan. Luck was on my side, it appeared; she still hadn’t left the ornithology lab as I was clocking out for the day. I suspected this meant that the magnetic field sensor had been repaired, and was genuinely happy for her, for once with no ulterior motive of avoiding socializing. I really was curious to read the results of her research upon completion.

Wild Woods was located about thirty minutes south of Missoula, just outside of Florence, which meant I technically drove past its street six out of seven days of the week. I actually felt appropriately ashamed, considering this, that I hadn’t made the time to stop in and visit Dr. Chey before now. ( Read on below the cut )

comments

Ah, there's my lack of focus again.

2021-12-27T22:10:34Z

The week leading up to Christmas was really freaking rough, physically. I worked seven hours over schedule, which only equals five hours of actual OT, but my job is extremely physically demanding and I'm pretty disabled so it was... a lot. I did keep plugging on Vol 2, we're about up to about 52k, but I fell out of step a bit with writing in complete chronology because I got excited about introducing Sreya and knew how I wanted a particular conversation to go so I just wrote what I was enthused about.

For Christmas, I decided to treat myself to writing something holiday related and NOT in the volume I'm working on. I've had the idea knocking around in my head for the antagonists from Vol 4, who are intended to be gray and sympathetic, to have a scene where they're celebrating Christmas together some time before they actually get to Montana and wind up clashing with the primary cast. It's admittedly been challenging to work on because I've written nothing but Trent's narrative voice for MONTHS and Clarence's is very different. It's coming out cute, and the characters endearing, which is unfortunate for readers considering a lot of these people are going to die horrendously.

I think this ficlet does nicely showcase how some of the species behave and interact. It's also another "have your crittery characters be traumatized like critters" moment: Arlette's original mate, Agriox, plucks his feathers when stressed, much as we observe in captive parrots. A snippet:

Agriox is back to sittin' - well, perchin' - on the couch next to Arlette. Upholstery's gonna be all fucked up from their talons. He ain't touched his gift and I know he's still stirred up good because he's pickin' at the feathers at the base of his left wing - ran out of the ones on his head and neck a while back. Arlette snatches up his hand and says something scoldin'-pitched in their tongue then shoves the ball of wrapping paper from her present 'gainst his palm. He flexes his claws, turns it over a few times, then starts tearin' it apart leavin' little shreds all over the cushions. They're never quite affectionate, but they got moments every now and again.

comments

Vol 2 thoughts and a re-work of an older scene

2021-12-19T12:31:49Z

Vol 2 is progressing nicely aside from this week; I had an adverse pharmaceutical reaction that messed me up bad, yesterday was the first day since LAST Friday I wasn't still a mess.

I'm finding myself thinking a lot about Trent's dynamic with Lucas in this volume, and how to reconcile the awful things Lucas does with the fact that they remain friends - close friends - in the long run. ( Blathering about Lucas below the cut )

Anyway, I significantly retooled an old scene from somewhere around Vol 4 and Vol 5 where Lucas very uncomfortably admits to Trent that he has fallen in love with Andor. I think it really is a peak representation of their weird, dysfunctional friendship on a one-on-one level. If you don't mind reading a lot of references to awful past shit, and some very present disrespect for someone recovering from alcoholism, you can read below:

Snippet (long-ish): Vol 4/5
Lucas didn't need to knock - he knew that I could hear and smell him coming and that he was, of course, always welcome in my home. He did nonetheless, because it was in his nature to ask permission, and if it was a comfort to him to follow social rituals, so be it. Today was different, however; his rapping was more insistent, and when I opened the door, he blurted, "Let's go to a bar," before I could finish saying hello.

"Well, good evening to you, too." ( Read on below the cut )

comments

In which I do not try to hide that I have Opinions

2021-12-04T22:54:46Z

We are 44k into Vol 2 and worryingly early on in the actual plot; I said Vol 1 was a brick so I guess Vol 2 is going to be a cinder block. Is every volume going to have a trip to the hardware store? Maybe! Anyway I have worked retail for 12 years and I've also been involved in the service dog community for almost as long, and I think I came into this scene with some axes to grind.

Also: I have been doing some reading about the presentation of trauma in nonhuman animals - the Kerulos institute has been holding some online seminars I should really look into because it's *fascinating* - and I had the epiphany of "why have characters with animal behaviors if you're not going to fuck them up in the ways animals get fucked up by trauma?" My original thought on Trent's future interactions with dogs post-mauling was for him to have normal boring human anxiety around them, but I've decided "why not dog reactivity?" since it is something I have firsthand experience working with in my own animals? It will probably come up more in Vol 1.5 when it's still being worked through, but I have a nod to it in this scene:

Upon entering the hardware store, I immediately realized how much I didn’t want to be there and cursed myself for apparently having less presence of mind than someone who was literally high for having not simply opened the window. The expense was less of an issue this time, however ‘this time’ reminded me too much of ‘last time’ and as with many things that evoked memories of the past, those thoughts proved uncomfortable. A small silver lining was that I at least knew exactly which supplies would be required for the job - though I considered with great bitterness that, at the time, I would have done well to learn an obvious lesson rather than a narrowly applicable technical skill from the experience.

( Read on below the cut )

comments

The start of a beautiful friendship (aka some silly Vol 2 Gabe/Trent banter)

2021-11-27T05:28:01Z

Note: This silly bit of dialog takes place the morning after Gabe breaks into Trent's house, which I guess is their version of a meet-cute.

“Damn, man, you look like shit,” he observed as we took a seat at the table.

“Yeah, well, some punk ass kid broke into my house last night, and frankly I don’t sleep well even on a good night, so I didn’t get much rest,” I said flatly.

“Eh, at least you didn’t get your ass kicked,” the werebear replied dismissively.

I snorted. “Funny, I distinctly remember being the only one bleeding during that exchange.”

( Read on below the cut )

comments

NaNo and Vol 1 updates

2021-11-26T17:24:05Z

I am currently sitting below-par on NaNo at 38k for the month, but I'm going to call managing to belt out over a thousand words a day while working retail approaching the holidays good and not try to kill myself hitting 50k in the next four days. I'm actually fairly pleased with this re-write of Vol 2 so far, though it is clear that this is going to be a massive project as anticipated considering how early in the plot we are at this word count and how much more I want to add this go-around.

I don't think I'm necessary adding gratuitous content- I'm very deliberate in the scenes I write, I just have a lot I want to say and it simply isn't all action packed or sexy per the urban fantasy genre norms. So, I don't know, I guess not the book for someone who doesn't want a novel to open with 1700 words of observing a salamander in a lab, but I'm sure there's an audience.

Speaking of audience: Stan was obviously given the first crack at reading Vol 1 and so far I'm getting positive feedback. I am so nervous about it not living up to expectations since they've been waiting to see the final product for years, but hopefully it is satisfying through and through.

I'm still not sure how I want to share it; I'm not really invested in publishing this series, which I know is a weird thing to say after putting in the effort to write so much content, but because much of the story is analogous to real-life civil rights/human rights issue, it seems like a shitty thing to profit off of coming from a position of relative privilege? I also don't like the thought of essentially putting creativity behind a paywall; if someone who can't afford a book wants to read my book, I want them to have access.

Depending on how some beta-reads go, a thought I was playing with is maybe creating a downloadable document that will be provided in exchange for a receipt proving a donation of a dollar amount of your ability/choosing to a short list of selected non-profits, probably ones related to conservation or human rights given the subject matter of Vol 1. I'm not sure how I would "advertise" this to a broader audience than friends or family, but I kinda like the idea of it.

comments

Break out the bubbly!

2021-11-17T04:13:06Z

Raze Vol 1 is done. Like done-done. Final editing pass complete. Still deciding how I want to share it, and my partners and best friend are getting dibs on first access, but I am delighted to have a finished volume considering I've been writing this 'verse since high school. Cheers!

comments

Vol 1 update and NaNo snippet

2021-11-14T15:11:03Z

I am now on editing pass FOUR of Vol 1, which this time I swear is really for real the last one. My objective is to be done editing by the 20th so I can present it to my partner on their birthday; I've got 100 pages of editing to go, so it will be tight, but we are definitely approaching the finish line.

My time has unfortunately been divided due to NaNo. I am doubtful that I will reach 50k within the month, but I decided to tackle Vol 2 this go around and am happy to have produced 15k new words so far this month. I am re-writing it almost entirely because I am not pleased with the current draft and am making bigger changes even to major plot points than I have in any volumes thus far. It is coming out stylistically more in keeping with Vol 1, which is something I want to keep going as I continue plugging through the series. Also now there's salamanders so it's aleady a better novel.

I'm looking forward to writing this one because so many primary cast members come on board in Vol 2. It is also one of the most brutal volumes, both in terms of being graphic and in terms of emotional weight, and as beefy as Vol 1 is currently sitting at about 210k, I suspect Vol 2 is the longest in the series just based on what's been written in the past and everything I want to add in this iteration. I've actually considered splitting it into two volumes, but the second half of it is so oppressively grim that I'm not sure it would be enjoyable read as a stand-alone piece.

Anyway, here is a very unpolished tidbit of the NaNo progress featuring Trent on the full moon and some foreshadowing about a fire that will be plot-significant:

Five years therian, the process of shapeshifting now came with greater grace and ease, but familiarity and routine still had not made it mundane. I had gotten well past the point in early infection where it served only as an unpleasant reminder of my new inhumanity, and now marveled at how my biology had become something remarkable - fascinating and exhilarating in much the same way I once viewed therianthropy as an outsider. The heady rush of the animatus flaring to life in response to the lunar glow, the bodywide pins-and-needles sensation of every cell brimming with energy, the rapid bloom of a dense pelt, tissues contorting and reshaping painlessly in defiance of what seemed intuitive: it really was an incredible experience. Then, of course, there was the end result: blinking into a night brightened by eyes now adapted to capture dim starlight, fine nose raised to the breeze with every wan odor for miles magnified, I stretched, felt my reformed muscles already primed to roam the steep inclines around me with fluid ease.

( Read one below the cut )

comments

Vol 1 Update + small snippet

2021-10-10T15:40:23Z

Vol 1 was "completed" a couple of weeks ago, and I have been going through another round of editing with the intent of readying it to share with friends and family. I am currently about half way through editing a 205k word manuscript and despite saying I was done writing scenes did add one more, which I completed yesterday. It's not a terribly INTERESTING scene, but it sets up some important prevailing themes for the series while also softly introducing the fact that Trent a) will be struggling with mental illness, particularly PTSD, throughout the series and b) is also headed in the direction of alcoholism. Here is a short snippet of the end of that scene:

Herschel left me with a bowl of pretzels, a glass of water, and the reminder that he was just outside the door if I needed anything. I think he might have extended this courtesy to anyone who was struggling, being a kind man by nature, but the gesture was somehow more comforting viewed with the connotations of pack mate. On the long list of inhuman sentiments I’d developed since infection was the sense of security that accompanied being amongst my pack; I felt this with both the wonderment of its novelty and a dismay for the clear departure from the human experience. Again with that hang-up about humanity. Thinking back to Herschel’s earlier question, and my own response about what aspects of my current life were actually the ones causing me distress, I somewhat regretted having come here instead of going to the territory after all. That things were so much simpler under tree boughs and star light, on four legs with nose to ground, had a frightening allure. I thought it might be very easy to get lost in that tempting divorce from the stress of human affairs, though as I contemplated the scent of alcohol heavy on my breath, it seemed there might be worse forms of escapism.

Ultimately, I dozed off sitting upright after half-heartedly working through a few puzzles, and awoke upon being gently roused as I tended to lately - abrupt, startled, still half lost in a nightmare. Herschel was polite enough not to ask about it, or perhaps in his years and as part of this community he had seen plenty of the same; we walked to his car making small talk, and when we ran out halfway back to my home, he played the classic rock station at a quiet volume, fingers lightly drumming the steering wheel. For once I’d had the presence of mind - or perhaps just the common courtesy - to let Estelle know via text message that I would be out late, so she was not waiting anxiously for my return filled with what-ifs. I found her resting soundly in bed and settled alongside her; she rolled over only half awake to nestle her face against my shoulder and muttered something indecipherable before drifting back to sleep.

Yes; things have been very difficult recently, I allowed myself. But there is still a brightness, too.

comments

Update and Vol 1 Snippet

2021-09-21T16:39:07Z

Okay, we are in the home stretch! All full scenes have been completed, just two sections of bridge material linking three scenes to write, then a deep dive third editing pass. Very psyched to be so close to having a volume of Raze completed. Right now it is clocking in at 201k, so it is an absolute doorstop, but I'm not considerate enough to slim it down because everything in it is there deliberately and I'm not particularly writing with an audience as my foremost concern since I'm "meh" about trying to publish.

Anyhow, the last scene I wrote is Trent making good on his promise to show Thunder Song things under a microscope. Aside from Trent's perpetual sad bitch energy by the end of this volume (oops all berries but the berries are trauma), it's very cute. Here is a snippet from looking at blood cells:

A fingertip prick would have made it easier to get the blood onto the slide, but she made due by scooping a droplet in the curved underside of her claw, then depositing it on the glass. “The best way to view blood cells is with a blood smear – basically spreading the blood very thinly across the glass," I explained. "I have to warn you, I haven’t made a blood smear since college, so I’m not sure it will come out terribly well. Hopefully I at least leave some cells intact enough for viewing.”

( Read on below the cut )

comments

Fourth quarter game plan

2021-09-12T15:43:20Z

I am one scene and connective tissue from a finished draft of Vol 1 before the "final" editing pass, and this is probably the longest stretch of time I've focused on one project and written it in order. Naturally that means I am getting restless.

If I am done with this volume by October, my original plan was to do a refresh edit on Arks Be Damned and possibly take a swing at publication, but I sincerely doubt my ability to JUST edit and not write. I can't decide if I want to just plow straight forward into Vol 2, which I think pretty much needs to be re-written at this point because it is the oldest Raze content, or if I want to take a break and tackle something that demands less research. With NaNo on the horizon, I'm wondering if I should get a head start on at least plotting out a project.

I think my only projects that don't require a MOUNTAIN of research are Gutter Punk, Other Nations, and The Dog Star. They... really couldn't possibly be more dissimilar in terms of themes, style, and content. I've tried Gutter Punk for NaNo before with so-so results, and Stan has indicated that they like Other Nations the most out of my non-Raze projects, but I'm in a creature mood so The Dog Star is looking very attractive. Maybe use October for creature building so I have a fully stocked bestiary to launch into NaNo?

Speaking of bestiary, I really need to update the one for Raze because a *lot* of new species have been added in the past year, and they'll be particularly relevant for 1.5 and Human Extinction. We got fish monsters, spider monsters, folklore monsters from several cultures (finally some pig hominids, thank fuck), and even a new osvermis genus to pad the original content pret wildlife. I'll toss it up here when I get around to it for funsies.

comments

Raze Vol 1 Snippet: Two of my favorite nerds being nerds.

2021-09-01T00:07:42Z

I am extremely close to wrapping up Vol 1 which is exciting. It is currently clocking in at about 188k words; I only have two more major scenes to write, then the connective tissue for the last ten or so pages of previously written content. After that I'll be moving on to the third editing pass and I MIGHT finally have a completed novel for this series!

Anyway, this snippet takes place after the second trial towards the end of the novel; Thunder Song has just had a medical examination by Dr. Chey on Trent's insistence on account of interactions with the police escort being... less than favorable. I am enjoying fleshing out these guys' early friendship, which will be playing a prominent role in later volumes.

Vol 1 Snippet
“When will you know the outcome of the trial?”

I glanced at my watch; shit, it was much later than I realized. “To be perfectly honest, it’s possible the jury could have reached a verdict by now; I was one of the last witnesses to testify. We are not in range for cellular service, but Warren is supposed to call when there is an update, so I suppose it would be good to get to where he can reach me.” I looked between all parties assembled and finally settled on Thunder Song. “Take some time to recuperate, and when I have an update I’ll be sure to relay it. Dr. Chey?”

He was already pulling his bag from the branch. “I do not need further prompting to get out of this weather,” he said with a chuckle; I apparently had a short memory of the human experience of frigid temperatures with my improved resistance to the cold and realized he must have been quite miserable by now.

Rubbing my arms to indicate a shared experience – always those tiny dishonesties in the company of humans – I said, “Yeah, no kidding. Let’s head out.”

( Read on below the cut )

comments

Raze: Human Extinction Snippet

2021-08-14T01:00:01Z

This has been appropriate back-burnered as we grind through editing pass two on Vol 1, but eventually I'm writing a distant-future volume where the humans are going extinct and the many species in Razeverse that rely on them for nutrition and reproduction are low key freaking out. It's the only third person Raze content for some reason and the cast is like 90% weird monsters that don't appear in other volumes because I'm self-indulgent. Anyway, here's Andor (demon, quet) chatting with Gareth (pteroanthope) about the nuances of species conservation. There's also some gay shit because *gestures broadly at Andor.*

Raze: Human Extinction
"I'd be fascinated to know the psychology of it," he said. "Where was this passion when it came to the preservation of your own species - where is it now, for that matter? There is no reason for the quet to die with you. One jaunt with a human woman could triple the population of your kind, and there are certainly resources that could make as much possible."

( Read on below the cut )

comments

Raze Vol 1 Snippet

2021-07-11T13:24:19Z

Amy returned from the kitchen human, stark naked, and carrying a bag of potato chips. I averted my gaze quickly; I had seen all of my packmates undressed in the context of shifting, but something about nudity indoors - in a bedroom, no less - still resonated with the very human social norm of deeming an absence of clothing inherently intimate and not to be shared casually. Noticing my reaction, she sighed audibly and approached the bed, looming as much as someone her height could, until it was finally more awkward to not look at her. When I met her eyes, her brows were lightly arched in amusement, and she said, “You colossal dweeb, I literally fell asleep with my face in your crotch last night. Stop being weird and move over.”

( Read on below the cut )

comments

In which the gang gets caught doing drugs and the outcome is surprising

2021-05-19T23:18:53Z

A silly drabble from somewhere chronologically after Evelyn's death and before Trent's return centered around drug use (with a drop of world building about how drugs interact with non-humans). Content warnings would be drug use (obviously) and a homophobic slur.

Lucas narrates
We were all sufficiently high that no one heard Andor’s car arriving in the driveway, and when he came through the door to find us variously splayed across the couches in a room thick with pot smoke, giggling helplessly over a viewing of Monty Python, we all froze and probably looked like dogs that had pissed the carpet. Not a proud moment.

I had grown accustomed to detecting the subtly of his emotional states through the barrier of inhuman biology, but I could really only glean strong sentiments with sufficient focus. In my current state, he was unreadable; I don't know what response I expected specifically, but it certainly wasn't...

( Read on below the cut )

comments

Public relations

2021-05-03T22:16:41Z

You can subtitle this snippet 1300 words of Trent dressing down the public and almost definitely losing his position as public liason for AIPS in the process.

This scene, which occurs somewhere after Vol 8, is of Trent delivering a public statement on behalf of his employer (American Institute for Preternatural Studies) following the death of prominent United Nations member and last extant werezebra, Ekundayo. Trent worked alongside Ekundayo during the congressional hearing in Vol 5 to pass civil rights legislation for feral therianthropes.

Trent does a good deal of public speaking in the course of this series - city hall meetings, academic conferences, court cases, congressional hearings, press releases, you name it. This scene is slightly different as it takes place after he is publicly outed as a therianthrope after years of flying under the radar, and for the first time he is speaking divorced from a human social identity. It IS similar to Vol 1, however, in that he is nuking his professional career for the sake of ethics; shit gets heated below.

Public relations
I approached the podium and took in a deep breath as I surveyed the room, the lights, the camera equipment, the attentive upturned faces waiting for the AIPS public statement to commence. It was a small crowd, certainly smaller than some I had addressed, and I was not so much nervous about the speaking itself than the weight of the message. How do you pay proper respects to a person of such significance? How do you pay proper respects to a colleague, to a friend?

The soft chatter of those assembled quieted when I took my place. My mind drifted momentarily back to the memory of the hearing, of Ekundayo on the stand, his passion and dignity. The words I prepared suddenly seemed woefully inadequate, and I smiled ruefully at the absurdity of having been asked - me, of all people - to deliver a speech commemorating a person of great merit.

I cleared my throat and began.

( Read )

comments

Rise Snippet: On the emotional lives of demons

2021-04-18T13:23:41Z

Background: This scene follows the 10k+ words of Tusan and Gabe hooking up that I've been working on, in which Jacob discovers the duo's dalliance and is very unhappy about it. Tusan just *doesn't get* what Jacob's hang-up is, considering that in their past life they had multiple sexual and romantic partners that xe had no problem with. What it boils down to is a lasting insecurity and resentment on Jacob's part about the fact that, following reincarnation, Trent (now Tusan) specifically seeks out and trusts Gabe with their secret, and indeed probably would not have engaged further with Jacob if they hadn't been found out. Basically: Jacob's big weird demon feelings have been hurt, much to Tusan's surprise.

The relationship between Trent and Jacob is explicitly charactertized as pathological throughout the series, but despite the questionable foundation, there are hints of some very genuine affection there as well. Trent always thought this was fairly one-sided, but as we see in Jacob's response to Trent's death, there was clearly some kind of emotional bond coming from Jacob's end as well. So, here is Jacob taking Tusan to school about the fact that they have never considered that xe actually *cares* about them:

Rise snippet
“You operate under the assumption that because I do not experience emotions in the same way that humans do, I do not experience them at all. What I lack in range and nuance, I make up for with intensity; the things I do feel, I feel keenly. You are very inconsiderate of that fact.” Xe tilts xir head. “I believe it is representative of the concept you call speciesism, which you have expressed being against in theory, but in practice...”

( Read on below the cut )

comments

Rambling about WIPs AND: It's National Poetry Month!

2021-04-04T14:59:16Z

Normally I write a poem each day for the month of April in honor of National Poetry Month, or attempt to - but honestly, I am profoundly busy these days, and I'd rather spend my writing time on a project. Speaking of which, I am sitting on six pages and growing of the crackfic-turned-canon that is Gabe and Tusan hooking up in Rise, which I might share on here if anyone is interested in what happens when you get drunk with the reincarnation of your best friend and wind up in bed - or uh, I guess technically couch - with them. The hardware involved is male and female but I'm still filing this under queer fic since Tusan is non-binary and the part of them Gabe is actually in love with is definitely Trent. Also my friends who are reading along have informed me that this scene is "the gayest shit [you've] ever written," which is really saying something.

Anyway! Back to Poetry Month. Today is Easter, which means a lot of people are now in possession of new rabbits they know nothing about and will house/feed improperly until the rabbit a) dies b) becomes too much of a hassle and gets turned loose in the park or c) becomes too much of a hassle and they try to surrender it to a rescue only to find out we are all totally overwhelmed with intake requests, then circle back to b. I happen to have a favorite poem about impulse pet purchases that I think suit the holiday nicely, so: allow me to present "Take One Home for the Kiddies" by Philip Larkin.

Take One Home for the Kiddies
On shallow straw, in shadeless glass,
Huddled by empty bowls, they sleep:
No dark, no dam, no earth, no grass -
Mam, get us one of them to keep.

Living toys are something novel,
But it soon wears off somehow.
Fetch the shoebox, fetch the shovel -
Mam, we're playing funerals now.

Incidentally, I came upon rabbits crammed in small cages being sold roadside in town yesterday and in addition to the sadness and anger I felt about it, there is also a good deal of worry. I'm not sure if anyone on here is involved in the rabbit community, but a terrible virus (Rabbit Hemorrhagic Disease) is currently making its way across the United State amongst wild and domestic populations of rabbits. I expect to see a major spread post-Easter and am bracing for inpact. Our rescue is on a general intake freeze right now, but we are not taking rabbits in general until vaccination becomes widespread and affordable. You can read more on RHD here

comments

When writing research sends you down a rabbit hole...

2021-03-20T14:27:40Z

... or in this case, under a log with caudata?

So I'm working on a fluff scene of Trent, Andor, and Clare hiking in the Bitterroot. And I really want Trent to find a salamander specifically so he can go off on a big tangent about salamander diversity in various US states since he specifically did research on salamanders (er, a fictional species of them in Razeverse at least) in Vol 1.5. What I mean to say is, I spent my morning feeling arrogant that I live in a state with 43 species of salamander while Montana boasts a measly four.

... But apparently Georgia has 170. One HUNDRED and SEVENTY. I literally live right next door to that state, why am I not there flipping logs and exploring vernal pools right now?

Fuck.

comments

Vol 4 Snippet (Andor narrating)

2021-03-18T14:50:04Z

It occurred to me only after having alighted from Lucas's porch that I did not particularly have a plan in mind for disposing of Gavin – bothersome. I normally planned my affairs more carefully than this. As I circled higher above the trees, another complication presented itself, and I don't know how I didn't smell it sooner: Jacob was somewhere nearby. Of all of Clarence's cohorts, it was the only one that made me uneasy, and that its violence could be bought and sold made it difficult to ascertain its motivations at times. For example: how would it react to me slaying its master's closest friend? I supposed it would be better to find out sooner than later, so as soon as I saw Lucas's car reach the end of the street, I began my descent.

Landing on the railing of the porch overlooking Gavin's remains, which were well spread across an area of about three meters, I scanned the treeline for Jacob and finally said, “I know you are here, so you may as well stop hiding.”

( Read on below the cut )

comments