I want an iMac.
Like, seriously, guys. I want an iMac. If the Computer Fairy were handing out computers I'd take one right now. And also one of those Eee PCs, because they look cool, yay cheap ultraportable, and I've always wanted to try Linux.
I wish to explain why it is important that I want an iMac. Because, you see, I hate iMacs. I hate them so much.
I have always owned Macs. I think the Apple IIes at elementary school made me a true believer. For my family's first computer we had a Mac LC II, and then some beige Power Mac something. So when it came time for me to go to college, in 1999, I wanted a Mac. I had savings specifically earmarked for college, and I wanted a really, really nice computer to bring. You remember those blue and white G3 towers? I wanted one. I wanted a really spiffy one with more RAM, a bigger hard drive, probably a CD burner or DVD-ROM or something, and an installed Zip drive, because at the time I was using Zip disks for my storage needs (remember Zip disks?). I had my heart set on it. It was gorgeous. (Looking at the Wikipedia page, I totally still want one.) I believe that the Zip drive was something that needed to be added by Apple; the computer stores wouldn't sell me a tower with one. These being the dark days before Apple Stores, getting a built-to-order Mac meant ordering directly from Apple. So a couple weeks before school was to start, I placed an order on Apple.com. And waited. And waited. And then I got an email saying that, surprise, they were discontinuing the blue and white G3 towers in favor of the G4s, and could no longer build me mine. Grr argh. And I was about to go off to college. I needed a computer then. So, you know, I had to buy *something* that I could have immediately.
I say this to explain the resentment I felt as I bought a blue iMac from CompUSA. I filled up the puny 6 GB hard drive fast. I had to buy an external Zip drive, and for some reason I never got it and my printer mounted at the same time. There was never enough RAM to run everything I wanted. It kept deleting my TCP/IP preferences. Also somehow the startup screen and the last-modified dates ended up in Russian. The panel covering the ports fell off. The CD-ROM drive was never very good when it did work, and eventually broke completely. Don't get me wrong, it was a decent computer, and me and it had some good times together. In fact, it still works. But it wasn't the one I really wanted, ever.
So when it came time for me to buy a new computer to bring to grad school, no way was I buying a stupid iMac. I wanted a laptop! With WiFi! And a CD/DVD burner! So I ended up with this 12" PowerBook G4 that I am currently typing on, and I quite enjoy it. It was the one I wanted, and it is small and light(-ish) and portable and burns DVDs. But, you know, I don't think my next computer should be a laptop. I don't take it that many places (other than occasionally to school to run an experiment). I miss having a real keyboard and mouse. It's on its second hard drive, and it's probably gonna need a third soon. I would feel like I could vid again if I had a desktop. But, dude, of course it wouldn't be a stupid iMac now, would it?
Every time I saw the new iMacs in the store, I made fun of them. "Why do I want another non-upgradeable iMac? Why do I need a computer with a screen bigger than my TV when my 12" laptop works fine? Why do I need a weird rectangular aspect ratio?"
But recently I have had occasion to spend a lot of time in the recording booth at school, and using the computer that's there. And they've replaced the nice blue & white G3 with one of the new-ish everything-in-the-monitor white iMacs. And, to my horror, I really like it. I felt so much more *productive* using it. A real keyboard! A real mouse! With, hey, two buttons and a scroll wheel; dude, when did Apple start doing that? And, when I am working on a big spreadsheet, I can see the whole thing! Without scrolling sideways! I can even have two documents open side by side and compare them, and write much faster! It is awesome. And it has WiFi and I think the current models burn DVDs. Plus it's really sleek. I want one. (And, hey, Macworld magazine says now it's okay for the power users to buy iMacs, that they work just fine for pretty much anything these days, and really who upgrades their Mac that much anyway?) My only complaints are that my arms hurt from the unfamiliar keyboard position (as opposed to, you know, in my lap; the USB port on the keyboard is not 1337 enough to power a flash drive; and the ports on the back are inconveniently located for easy flash-drive access.
And apparently I feel that wanting to own an iMac disturbs me so much that I need to make an entire dorky tl;dr post explaining why this desire is Bad and Wrong. Which in itself is ridiculous. It's a frickin' computer.
I wish to explain why it is important that I want an iMac. Because, you see, I hate iMacs. I hate them so much.
I have always owned Macs. I think the Apple IIes at elementary school made me a true believer. For my family's first computer we had a Mac LC II, and then some beige Power Mac something. So when it came time for me to go to college, in 1999, I wanted a Mac. I had savings specifically earmarked for college, and I wanted a really, really nice computer to bring. You remember those blue and white G3 towers? I wanted one. I wanted a really spiffy one with more RAM, a bigger hard drive, probably a CD burner or DVD-ROM or something, and an installed Zip drive, because at the time I was using Zip disks for my storage needs (remember Zip disks?). I had my heart set on it. It was gorgeous. (Looking at the Wikipedia page, I totally still want one.) I believe that the Zip drive was something that needed to be added by Apple; the computer stores wouldn't sell me a tower with one. These being the dark days before Apple Stores, getting a built-to-order Mac meant ordering directly from Apple. So a couple weeks before school was to start, I placed an order on Apple.com. And waited. And waited. And then I got an email saying that, surprise, they were discontinuing the blue and white G3 towers in favor of the G4s, and could no longer build me mine. Grr argh. And I was about to go off to college. I needed a computer then. So, you know, I had to buy *something* that I could have immediately.
I say this to explain the resentment I felt as I bought a blue iMac from CompUSA. I filled up the puny 6 GB hard drive fast. I had to buy an external Zip drive, and for some reason I never got it and my printer mounted at the same time. There was never enough RAM to run everything I wanted. It kept deleting my TCP/IP preferences. Also somehow the startup screen and the last-modified dates ended up in Russian. The panel covering the ports fell off. The CD-ROM drive was never very good when it did work, and eventually broke completely. Don't get me wrong, it was a decent computer, and me and it had some good times together. In fact, it still works. But it wasn't the one I really wanted, ever.
So when it came time for me to buy a new computer to bring to grad school, no way was I buying a stupid iMac. I wanted a laptop! With WiFi! And a CD/DVD burner! So I ended up with this 12" PowerBook G4 that I am currently typing on, and I quite enjoy it. It was the one I wanted, and it is small and light(-ish) and portable and burns DVDs. But, you know, I don't think my next computer should be a laptop. I don't take it that many places (other than occasionally to school to run an experiment). I miss having a real keyboard and mouse. It's on its second hard drive, and it's probably gonna need a third soon. I would feel like I could vid again if I had a desktop. But, dude, of course it wouldn't be a stupid iMac now, would it?
Every time I saw the new iMacs in the store, I made fun of them. "Why do I want another non-upgradeable iMac? Why do I need a computer with a screen bigger than my TV when my 12" laptop works fine? Why do I need a weird rectangular aspect ratio?"
But recently I have had occasion to spend a lot of time in the recording booth at school, and using the computer that's there. And they've replaced the nice blue & white G3 with one of the new-ish everything-in-the-monitor white iMacs. And, to my horror, I really like it. I felt so much more *productive* using it. A real keyboard! A real mouse! With, hey, two buttons and a scroll wheel; dude, when did Apple start doing that? And, when I am working on a big spreadsheet, I can see the whole thing! Without scrolling sideways! I can even have two documents open side by side and compare them, and write much faster! It is awesome. And it has WiFi and I think the current models burn DVDs. Plus it's really sleek. I want one. (And, hey, Macworld magazine says now it's okay for the power users to buy iMacs, that they work just fine for pretty much anything these days, and really who upgrades their Mac that much anyway?) My only complaints are that my arms hurt from the unfamiliar keyboard position (as opposed to, you know, in my lap; the USB port on the keyboard is not 1337 enough to power a flash drive; and the ports on the back are inconveniently located for easy flash-drive access.
And apparently I feel that wanting to own an iMac disturbs me so much that I need to make an entire dorky tl;dr post explaining why this desire is Bad and Wrong. Which in itself is ridiculous. It's a frickin' computer.
