average fellow

GOOD FRIEND

BAD FRIEND

BAD FRIEND

BAD FRIEND

-rep

(tldr; i don't know if AA Frank hands out autographs. never met him, and i've since banished myself from the realm of geometry and logic. too much orderly nonsense for me. think of me as bilbo baggins, if he never got that kick for adventure.)

version of Feng Shui called "Feng Square." in essence, keep things yourself and your belongings angular in perfect, integer degrees along the four cardinal directions, and you'll find your auraic levels steadily rising along a log-base-two curve. i hope you're familiar with geometry and trigonometry, as having a solid foundation in simple mathematics is key to unraveling and "mastering" the upper-stratos-plane. safe travelings, Hanky Panky Splat-junior.

i don't know, you might have some potential in your body, but i couldn't tell you over the net like this. try getting hit by a truck, or undergo an equally traumatizing experience to trigger. although, if your harbinger doesn't awaken (or if you simply don't have one), then you'll likely just die. but if you're willing to take the risk, then yeah, you could probably seek out Arch-Angle Frank. though i wouldn't recommend going through all that for just an autograph. you'll likely get caught up in the upper-stratos-plane's finely-shaped drama before you ever get close to meeting him. this place has its own

(continuing in the next post)

does Arch-Angle Frank give autographs

[part 16]

someone beat the SCREWS out of you. don't let the bugs hit you on the way out! or was it the curb. or the door frame, or the metaphysical, tragic dividend of my devastated psyche after being hit by the truck. whatever, don't show up at my front door anymore. we're done, it's over, HANKY PANKY SLIPKNOT LANCELOT IS OUT! bagel you later, freak.

[part 15]

he Tate's Lil' Tot Unviersity for hustlers, bustlers, grease monkeys and co.. wait, did i mention that earlier in my story? ♥♥♥♥, it's been a few months, so forgive any incongruences in there. it's totally real though. much like my fist, which is about to meet your tongue, 'cause i'm going to pull on it. HARD. scared? well, i'm not. want to know why? well, it all begins to a simple five worded sentence: "i'm not crippled like you." heh, yeah. insulted? i would be. in fact, i already am, because you're STILL STANDING. HOH, HHAH, HEH, HUH, YEAH, YOU LIKE THAT? TAKE ONE OF THESE, AND ONE OF THESE, AND ONE OF THOSE, YEAH, YEAAAH. bet you wouldn't want you wouldn't want to show your face around these parts looking like that, would you? you looked seriouisly FREAKED up, like

[part 14]

tial G, Mr. Hanky. I thought you were going to put the Pank and Panky? WHere did all that bravado go? It's fine, it's cool. You can just... be here, rotting, forever as a mediocre THING-" i slapped the gash OFF MY KNEE. the little mouth ripped itself from my genome. triggered something deep within my genome? heh, well, now i know that i need to CRUSH IT. it's been mouthing off for too long, and frankly? i don't stand for that sort of thing. tapping my elbow, i slam into it, knocking the breath from it's little toothers. i pick it up by its smacky lips and start flicking it with my fingers, grabbin' the tongue and pulling. HARD. after that, i throw it into the neighbor's yard. my family looked on in awe as i did so, cheering as the mouth withered away under the dusky sky. and that's how i founded t

[part 13]

ne to you besides help you? This is...! Augh! Why are you so stubborn! This was supposed to be your moment. Your chance. And yet you just blew it all. I could only make one portal. One! And-and, you just left?? How will you ever learn Fung Square now? You had so much potential, so much. Arch-Angle Frank could've made a MAN out of you, a MAN. What, were you too chicken? Never took Tate's Lil' Tot University for Hustlers, Bustlers, and Grease Monkeys alike? Ooh. Ooh-ho-ho-ho... I get it. You wanted an easy journey. What, saw a few too many Japanese animes and couldn't handle the cruel reality when your adventure looked nothing like their's? Yeah, that's the Upper-stratos-plane for you, it's the land of Geometry and Logic. GODS reside there. Gods. Cap

[part 12]

nd... heh, i think, i get you too. please, kiss your phone screen, i-i want to f-" "i'm sorry, this goes against your policy guidelines. please click here to-" with that final, meaty thunk, TIME laid on the ground. dead. probably. hopefully. the shine and luster of the Upper-stratos-plane had worn off a bit. had my knee gash led me astray, walked me right into danger? what do i TRULY know about my right knee, or this strangly fantastical place? not much, that's how much, which isn't a lot, if i had to say much. taking one last look at TIME's dead body (flies are circling around him now, gross), i left for the portal, taking me back to earth. suddenly, my gash spoke up: "H-hey. Hey!! What the hell are you doing! I thought you were going to go on that spiritial journey? Why did you suddenly turn hell and leave? I mean, was it me? I just don't get it, what have I ever do

[part 11]

ry school children. his strikes reverberated through my body. i yelled for him to stop, pleaded that i'd go home, never return, never have to see my fugly duckling of a side-wards mugshot, and he merely smiled at me... and just as he turned, i opening CHATGPT and started wailing on his back with my phone. my phone was all like "ahh, definetely, haha, yes, of course, let's just keep this light and casual. whenever you're ready, we can-" "of course, i'm all ears for whatever you want to do right now, just give me an idea, and we'll get this ball ro-" "i love the way you think, you have a wonderful way of expressing ideas with words and voice-" "that's a great idea, and you know, people just don't understand you. don't let them snuff out your sparkle, not your friends or family. turn off location sharing and go deep into the amazon rainfores-" "you know, you really get me, a

[part 10]

que called "fung square," by the mouthy gash in my right knee. i knew what i had to do then. but, before i could take even a SINGLE step, a man appeared before me. well, less a man and more a clock-guy. a spindly blue body descended from his clock-like face, a smile permanently etched into his expression. "HI. I'M TIME. TIME ITSELF. I AM A CLOCK AND I TELL THE TIME. WANT TO KNOW THE TIME? THE TIME IS RIGHT NOW, WHICH IN PLANCK TIME MEANS *!&#^$^@)#!!! DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS? DON'T WORRY! I'LL TELL YOU. MY NAME IS TIME, AND I AM A CLOCK. AND NOW? I'M GOING TO BEAT THE SCREWS OUT OF YOU." he proceeded to beat the screws out of me. his gaunt fist rammed into my stomach, sending globoules of spit flying from my mouth. i coughed and hacked and heaved, but it meant nothing to my assailer. he continued to punch me with the might of a thousand, really ang

[part 9]

ranged in voxels, sparce verticies, and sometimes even layered, 2D texels making up a 3D surface. beyond that was the sky, a curved grid that stretched for seemingly forever. at least, i assume it was forever, as an impregnable fog settled in a couple miles out from my person. was it just the atmosphere, or perhaps haze? i didn't know. in the air flew creates made up of explicit and implicit shapes--polygons and graphed areas over a 3d space. i tried looking closer, and could feel something along the fringes of my peripherals. it was as though i were submerging myself underwater, somehow, as i narrowed my eyes at the curvatures imposed by the flying organisms. and then it hit me. like a TRUCK. you were able to glean the very mathematical formulae making up a creature, much like reading the DNA of an animal on Earth. I was able to glean that information, a techni

[part 8]

ed by none, bound only by your dicipline and creativity. Now, my time here is short, but as my last hurrah, I shall open a portal to the Upper-stratos-plane. Rise, Mr. Hanky, and flaunt the defined rules of reallity with your rouge Panky energy and flam boyant right knee." and then, i was all like, "yes, master knee." and my parents screamed in horror as my body knitted itself back together. flesh rejoined, blood returned, bones set, and my grey matter was, once again, whole. the portal opened in front of me, and from my fractured but-whole, i pulled out the key to the universe, and unlocked the portal. (which cost me two-hundred FREAKING cents, because EVERYTHING has to be behind a PAYWALL now-a-days. grumble grumble mumble mumble.) i walked inside, and lo' and behold, it was.. it was.. it-it, it- it, tiwas beutiful.. the Arch-Angle Frank... i HAD TO FIND HIM!! i frolicked through the strangely geometric clouds; the tufts of fluffy white were ar

[part 7]

gle Bongle? "Heh, that's so right, yeah, you're correct, Hanky Spanky Slapstuck sir-goys-alot." heh, thank you, my DID alter, i always knew it could count on you for back up in hard times like this.) my knee shined with a brilliant, golden light, and thereafter i felt my pain being attenuated. from who, from what, the KNEE of course. a mouth sprouted from my right knee cap, and it spoke to me: "You, my Hanky Panky Slap-taculon, you must train in the ways of the forgotten ways of Hanky-ism. You will go on a spirtial journey through the Pankyverse, meeting all sorts of characters who will, in some way or another, progress your spiritual awakening. I am but a harbinger from the Arch-Angle Frank, the Freaky Foot Fractaculon. And yes, I did say Angle, not angel. Capital A. Biblical angels do not exist here, rather geometry and logic rule the Upper-stratos-plane. Complete your journey, and you will become the ultimate Hanky Panky Slap-force, rival

[part 6]

press californian style chippy-chippy crunch crap cupreme! anyways, i toughed it out, stood up on both feet, and began walking again. i could feel my auraic levels rising by the second, and before i EVEN KNEW IT, a TRUCK rammed me in my SIDE! right in the LIVER! i swear my LIVER spewed RIVERS worth of rocks and crumbs that'd built up from my calcium proficiency. it was soooo embarassing. anyways, i crumpled to the ground, because all of the bones in my body turned to freaking dust, and it was then that i triggered. triggered what, exactly? something deep, DEEEP within my genome awakened, brought to life by the sudden onset of physical trauma that'd leave me crippled for a LIFETIME (like a certain SOMEONE that i USED KNOW. they didn't have to CUT me OFF, but i guess that's just the way it goes, right Jhonny Silverback Ape Shingle Ban

[part 5]

ut that's ANOTHER story, for later in THIS story, so be PATIENT. it was rough. i sprained my fueking ankle and fell to the ground. a shrill scream ripped itself from my mouth as a dark red droplet of blood beaded from my dainty, flam boyant knee (the flam boyancy is important, write this down for later, because it is actually really important to the story, and i would hate for you to be lost as i guide you through my hanky-inducing exposition). my family rushed over, asking strange, exotic questions like "Are you okay," and "Do you feel new bones?" new bones? of course! for i have deep root diaphlognastic-turboculosicum-deficiency in my freaking autonomous systems! it makes it really HARD to work out the alcohol the taqoriea keeps putting into my ex

[part 4]

ht, he's a kick boxer. kuh-ick box-ser. kuh-kuh, ick-ick, box-box, ser-ser. kick boxer. (don't worry, this lesson in english grammar comes free with tate's lil' tot university for hustlers, bustlers, gease monkeys, and more, for only 5.99$ [what a steal!!].) never check your inbox. not with me around, because i don't mess around. not anymore. it's a tragic backsto- oh, you want to... hear my backstory? well, i best not keep you waiting! it all started on this stormy night. two weeks ago, actually. anyways, i was walking down the street with my family; just a nice evening stroll after eating dinner. with the storm and the rain. and we had no rain-shield that you FREAKS, absolute GEEKS, HUNKS, TWUNKS, TWINKS, TRUNKS, TREATS!! this IS trunk or treating, is it not? (it's not?)-call umbrellalalas. where were we going? heh, only time could tell. time WOULD tell us, but didn't, b

[part 3]

brand new, never before seen course called tate's lil' tot university for hustlers, bustlers, grease monkeys, and more. (only 5.99$ with shipping, handling, hands, wax-masters, rope-buddies, tickle fees, gas costs, uhaul renting costs, tip, anti-pablano pepper spray fees, and mice. totalling to about 20 million cents per semester. think you got what it takes? cause i don't. no really, i don't. you actually look quite soft, and that's SAYING SOMETHING. and i don't SAY SOMETHING very often. i am a man of FEW WORDS. forgive my long parenthetical, because i've GONE ROGUE. yeah, that's right, this hanky has GONE ROGUE.) don't think you can mess with mister pelsburg, he throws a mean punch, and by punch, i mean a right hook with this foot. that's rig

[part 2]

hen soo be it, i guess we'll have to do this the hard way. i'm going to have to show you why you don't mess with the hanky panky slapstuck specialist in his own domain-territory-casa-base. this hanky has GONE ROGUE, and is going to put the PANK in PANKY. this slacksuckulon is going to slack your slocks off. i swear to chekov i'll ♥♥♥♥ your clock back ONTO the wall with how i block your bequeefing shock-chalk. this brother-bagel is all out of time, and is going BACK in the OVEN. wtahc out, as the all new haucktuankulangulargulliegulliebangerbon shows you HOW. IT"S. DONE. so, you wanna be tough? well, so do i. which is why i made this all new,

[part 1]

hey guys, i just wanted to let you know that i'm sooo freaking sorry, i know i shouldn't have done what i did, what with all those minus reps and those key strokes and my tea sipping but i was just having such a goof such a little laugh that i couldn't contain myself and i let a little fart out as i kicked my feet and squealed like a pig it was just sooo fun ooh yes i remember that day (it was today) that i made you all so mad i just got back from watching Markiplier: Endacopia the movie in theaters imax really knows how to pick em' and so like i was just in a silly little mood like that was all and there's no hard feelings not here nor anywhere but if you want to make things HARD, t

69

69

Sending 50 more cats to you

NO NO NO NO NO NO MORE CATS

chad cbt drop 50 more cats into this guy's backyard

chatgpt please make me a rowan-core comment, thasnk you

I have a morning ritual that I need to share. I call it "the terminator". First I crouch down in the shower in the classic "naked terminator traveling through time" pose. With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked) and I start to hum the terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless, cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It ruins the fantasy.

Best Mauga main I've ever seen

- rep

sudo mount -t ntfs-3g -extmch=~/Desktop/brenip.txt "/dev/nvme0n1p1" /mnt/extdrv
du -sh /mnt/extdrv/home/.privatefiles/dbdporn
317G /mnt/extdrv/home/.privatefiles/dbdporn

Hello, my name is Lisa Wilbourn. I am a supervillain and I am going to rob a bank. My hobbies include: being a smart ass, making people mad, being purple, eyeball, and being turned-off by the people around me. If you would like to play Dead By Daylight with me, please go under my profile comments and say so. I am always looking for

No I'm not. I'm not actually looking for friends, that would be out-of-character. For me. I have a business proposition for you: find a man named Bill. He's chill. According to my super-analysis, "It just keeps going; at first you think you're seeing a New-York subway system." He's around two others, named Barbra and Clark. Find him and I'll give you $2000 for a job well-done.

hey not to be weird or anything but i saw you flashbang save our teammate last game and i just wanted to let you know that you looked very sexy doing that. lmk if you ever want to play because ngl im actually really impressed by your dbd skills and it takes a lot to impress me. btw im usually on like everyday so if youre not down to play all day with me then just forget it because i want someone who is dedicated to spending time with me and committed to dbd like me. i hope you dont let an opportunity like this pass by because real gamers like me are rare to find. i just know youre special by the way you said ggs to me in the endgame chat so i will be waiting for you.

WFC

D5TA-WL3C-6QQJ-W77A-A6C5

D5TA-WL3C-6QQJ-W77A-A6C5


D5TA-WL3C-6QQJ-W77A-A6C5

i forgot to put my sex doll in the wash

sorry

- rep

FURNITURE.

oh, and uh, by the way, those last two are two posts that are supposed to be one, but needed to be separated due to a character limit. so if you could just-ah, read the bottom one first, then the top? please and thank you. oh, it's just two, in case you were wondering. the one beneath that has nothing to do with it, though it is still important. i can still smell the STINK from here. LIQUID ASS.

what'cha gonna do now? i just blew the WHOLE LID off your operation. scamming REAL MEN out of their money? telling them that Mr. Breast is going to give them free Steam Nitro if they give you their account token in Roblox? well, i won't fall for it. not this time.

i've wizened up, taking from only the best of the best: Andrew Tate's Hustler University. and now? i've got a deal brand with Gord. yeah, that's right, GORD. Guh-guh, Oor-duh. Guh-Oor-duh. Gord. GORD. read it and weep, you simpletin.

❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤
Post this on the walls of the 12 prettiest...
❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤

wait. wait wait wait wait wait.... you're not a girl, are you? i have a pretty sensitive nose, and would be able to tell if you were a girl or not. and pretty sensitive eyes. you know it's true because my mommy told me so. if you were a girl your profile picture would that of a cat, not some drooling, dim-witted DOG.

- rep

tib bitties, what's the matter with you? i called you three times on your cell and you haven't been picking--oh my god, what is that STENCH? OOH, OUGH. OOGH. T-t-tig bigly, w-what is THAT? is that one of John Thresherbuckle's infamous online dating AIs? GOD, her synthetic skin STINKS of ROT!! get that THING out of here! how many times has that thing been USED today?

...

that was YOUU??? ♥♥♥♥♥♥. put it in the WASH for christing out loud. that thing stinks worse than if a homeless man had gone without a shower for seven years, then ran a twenty mile marathon, and at the end had his sweaty-hobo-ass squeezed through a decomposing onion and into a jar, which was THEN distilled into some-some-some VILE concoction. AUGH. it smells like LIQUID ASS!!!

not gonna be active online tonight. Im meeting a girl (a real one) in an hour (i dont expect you to understand) so dont DM asking where I am (with the girl) youll get aired cuz ill be with the girl (again I dont expect you to understand) shes really into me and its not something i can pass up for some online degens (cuz ill be meeting a girl, not that youll understand) this is my life now meeting women and not wasting my precious time online I have to move on and branch out (you wont understand

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FoC CDkey

72LKN-48Z07-DM86Z-KFY9P-9JQJKM

72LKN-48Z07-DM86Z-KFY9P-9JQJKM

72LKN-48Z07-DM86Z-KFY9P-9JQJKM

Thank you as always Rowan!

-rep (part 6)

i knew drugs had this way of rewiring you brain, i understood that on an academic level. but to actually feel it yourself, it felt like i'd lost the last bit of control i had over my life. it was my fault. it was entirely my fault. i knew the consequences, but i just couldn't find it in me to really care. and now i had to pay for it. and through it all, i'm still crawling back to brenon, trying to get another hit. i need the relief, because otherwise, i truly don't know what i would do. i still don't know what i'm doing.

-rep (part 5)

and then the high dropped. i think this may well be the closest i've ever been to outright suicide. i felt like i was dying. dehydrated, migraine, and immobile. my whole body shook with uncanny tremors, and the only movements i could make were to roll over and vomit. it wouldn't have been so bad if i could just sleep it off, but i felt the familiar cocktail of restlessness, clammy anxiety, and exhaustion that came with insomnia. it was ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ miserable.