Comments
Apr 26, 2023 @ 2:01pm 
i'm in massive trouble i don't give a 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸 when my court date is they can come and arrest me there have been lots of strange things happening lately two nights ago my gfs cupboard opened on its own and i was just looking at myself cuz it got a mirror on it lol also last night my gf says that the taps turned on in the bathroom and my fone lit up at the same time there has been a ghost at her house for a longtime its not about me also i think i'm closer to god now more than ever i think i need prison i'm sorry if i ever hurt anybody it was drinking but drink is because of no love if you get me i'm drunk now and alls i care about is myself i'm going prison and wanted you to know there are a few characters i'm angry with sorry i can't help it i started going church because evil thoughts got to my head
Jan 12, 2023 @ 7:39am 
you havent have you
Jan 12, 2023 @ 3:24am 
nipped co-op yesterday and sucked off an innocent pooch for a bottle of prime :mommy:
Jan 3, 2023 @ 6:34am 
Dunnae know what tae 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻 do man. Dunnae what tae 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻 do. You know what I'm gonna do I'm just gonna walk wae into the nearest 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻 pub right I'm gonna wait til I see someone having a drink fae their 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻 pint glass like at I'm just gonna go like at man 𝗦𝗟𝗔𝗠 man 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻 cut 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸 intae face man 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻 joker man cut his 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻 face off man. I need tae get back intae that jail man that'll give me a good 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻 5 year that, that'll give me a good 5 year that.
Dec 12, 2022 @ 8:29am 
I spend 5 hours masturbating before my prostate exams. I edge, and edge and edge, until a butterfly sneezing on my taint could bring me to the end. I tactfully shuffle my way down to the doctor's office and when he lubes up I nearly 𝗰𝘂𝗺 every time. But I've trained my 𝗰𝗼𝗰𝗸 muscles enough to the point where I can hold in Mount Vesuvius' wrath. Then as soon as he puts the smallest bit of pressure on my prostate I unleash with the fury of a lion hunting its prey. As the room gets covered in my hot sticky juices the doctor looks on disgusted and leaves the room. I always go to a hospital far away from where I live to get it so that I don't have to go in for surgery under the doctor that I busted to. Best thing is we have free healthcare here, so the doctor gets me off and it's covered by taxpayers. That's my fetish.
Nov 29, 2022 @ 12:31am 
Welcome to the bread bank, we sell bread, we sell loafs, we got bread on deck, bread on the flo, toasted, roaste- bro shut the 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸 up, listen i just need a baguette and a brioche, we don’t have either of those you can get the gluten-free white bread or the potato bread, what the 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸 is gluten take that 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝘁 out. It’s gluten free, i don’t CARE if it’s free. Yeah, i got my dollar store camera ON, what’s the 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 situation, what the 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸 do you want, im the mother 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 MANAGER, at the bread store?,

𝗕 𝗥 𝗘 𝗔 𝗗.
Nov 17, 2022 @ 11:16am 
clank from ratchet and clank
Nov 17, 2022 @ 4:08am 
Wherever I go, my amazing Immortal Dota rank follows me like a stench. Men, women, children, anyone: if they hear that I have extreme skill and a diverse pool of mains, they only see me as some gamer god.

Sometimes I'll be on my way home, thinking it's past-time to get funny. But then crowds plead me to my computer and beg me on their hands and knees to let them witness "another 5 man cogs." Is that all I am? A set of fingers, a pair of eyeballs, blessed and cursed to be so much better than you at this game?

Pro Dota players of Steam: how do you get along with others when all they can think about is your dextrous fingers and massive map awareness?
Oct 19, 2022 @ 6:32am 
I have a knack for being able to eat paper with ease. Sometimes when I finish a drumstick lolly I melt the stick with my spit and slowly swallow it. Once I made an embarrassing drawing so I ripped the paper up and ate it piece by piece. I then went on to test my wits against a piece of cardboard. Before you could look, it was gone. My ability to eat boxes surpasses my ability to eat box. I'm sure that I'd easily be able to eat the mcdonalds happy meal box with little effort.
Oct 17, 2022 @ 7:00am 
Ever since the Frozen movie came out my brother and little sister have been obsessed with the movie. At the time my mom bought my sister a small Anna silicon doll.

My brother is 15 now and has been obsessed with Anna recently. He has pictures of her on his phone and such. I also noticed the doll is now in his room - When I asked him about it he said he thinks she’s hot - I said okay and left.

This is where it gets bad. One time I peeked into his room and he was on all fours, curious I pushed the door open a little more. I saw him with his pants off and with the doll inside his 𝗮𝘀𝘀. THE WHOLE BODY. Just the head and hair was sticking out.

I was so shocked I couldn’t speak I just walked away and went into my room. I don’t know what to do. He doesn’t know I saw and honestly I am scared to ask him about it. Should I pretend it never happened or should I say something? I don’t think it’s healthy to be sticking an Anna doll up your 𝗮𝘀𝘀 no matter what.
Oct 3, 2022 @ 2:41am 
i'm in massive trouble i don't give a 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸 when my court date is they can come and arrest me there have been lots of strange things happening lately two nights ago my gfs cupboard opened on its own and i was just looking at myself cuz it got a mirror on it lol also last night my gf says that the taps turned on in the bathroom and my fone lit up at the same time there has been a ghost at her house for a longtime its not about me also i think i'm closer to god now more than ever i think i need prison i'm sorry if i ever hurt anybody it was drinking but drink is because of no love if you get me i'm drunk now and alls i care about is myself i'm going prison and wanted you to know there are a few characters i'm angry with sorry i can't help it i started going church because evil thoughts got to my head
Sep 29, 2022 @ 7:01am 
phil collins was on in car on way back from police thank you for not pressing charges u know who u are 🙏 if i ever fall into drinking again and start being nasty please do press charges i'd like u to because i bloody deserve it 🙈 i'm not going back to my ex partner drinking its not her fault anyway its me i been like this since school drinking and slowly getting worse taking the piss instead of growing a pair and taking it out on other ppl now iv gotten older n realised i've missed out 😟 i'm still up to my neck in trouble for other things anyway and most of all almighty god sees everything and nobody getting past him anyway he is the best god save our gracious souls ✝️
Sep 15, 2022 @ 4:56am 
i come home from work yesterday releived myself but battled not wanking for hours and whilst i was battling it like i went abit mad was thinking about ancient monks who would practise going there whole lives without releiving themselves as a test of devotion to god was thinkiing about why my life went the way it did why iv always struggled with premature ejaculation and also what the devil did that ♥♥♥♥ everything up and my mind spirals on millions of other things too use your imagination but when i gave in and relieved myself the second i was relieved this shard of light came across my ceiling from a cars headlights driving up the street which happens all ths time it was god calling me a wanker
Aug 31, 2022 @ 12:26am 
With my beef curtains now much like Pete Burns' lips, he thought it was time to start shoving my rusty bullet hole. Is now the time to tell him I really need to cop a toilet twinkie, I wondered? I awoke the next morning with my clunge pool still leaching. I thought it was over but his arse plunger had other ideas. After having my arse gutter gaped, he then proceeded to thrust my vintage golf bag. By now, my clearing in the woods was haemorrhaging like Adele waiting for Greggs to open. The seemingly never-ending streams of love piss emanating from his balony pony soon had me coated like a plasterer's radio.
Jun 23, 2022 @ 1:18pm 
⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢾⣿
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⣿⣿⣷⡦⠹⠿⠵⣿⣶⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠺⠟⠚⠛⠻⢿⣿⣷⣿
⣿⣿⣿⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣻⢵⣳⣦⡉⠻⢷
⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣧⣶⣿⣟
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⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧
⣿⣿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢹⠋⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿
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⣿⣿⣸⣧⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣯⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠡⡻⣵⢿⠁⠄⢣⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⡠⡵⢠⠙⠿⠿⠟⠋⠉⠄⢀⣱⡽⢿⡭⣼⠄⠄⢸⣿
Mar 29, 2022 @ 7:36am 
no replies tonight my heads ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in the shed .... please dont pm me and ask me if im ok because im not going to reply heads bouncing .. chill then bed
Jan 7, 2022 @ 5:44am 
Not bad +1 for big tits
Jan 1, 2022 @ 10:14pm 
cant help but notice i didnt get a field tested dragon lore for christmas
Dec 21, 2021 @ 6:32am 
Nah send it to me man I asked first bro I've known you since day 1. I was there when you popped out I dabbed you up remember in the hospital in vilnus? come on man, I was there when we decided what to name you n everything I WAS THERE SINCE DAY ONE I'M THE ONE WHO DESERVES THE DRAGON LORE IT SHOULD BE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Dec 20, 2021 @ 10:41pm 
send me your field tested dragon lore
Oct 31, 2021 @ 3:01pm 
the truth is that i have a crush on you and i just feel like i don't have a right to do so since i don't even know you properly i mean i have no idea about your favourite food or your favourite animal and it just makes me so sad i mean it's really weird to have a crush on person who is almost completely stranger to me but hah i guess that that is the world of adults since people met at bars and online and stuff but i guess that when you meet someone online on some crappy dating site you at least know something idk idk im sorry i'm weird and a mess and i really apologize for being creepy i never wanted to act like that and it really makes me sad since now you must think that i'm a creep or something well i am a creep but i don't want to be a creep
Oct 31, 2021 @ 1:06pm 
Send me your field tested dragon lore. I asked first. :BITRAY_Neutral:
Oct 31, 2021 @ 12:58pm 
Send me your field tested dragon lore
Sep 24, 2021 @ 11:45pm 
Send me your field tested dragon lore
Jul 10, 2021 @ 11:06am 
With my beef curtains now much like Pete Burns' lips, he thought it was time to start shoving my rusty bullet hole. Is now the time to tell him I really need to cop a toilet twinkie, I wondered? I awoke the next morning with my clunge pool still leaching. I thought it was over but his arse plunger had other ideas. After having my arse gutter gaped, he then proceeded to thrust my vintage golf bag. By now, my clearing in the woods was haemorrhaging like Adele waiting for Greggs to open. The seemingly never-ending streams of love piss emanating from his balony pony soon had me coated like a plasterer's radio.
May 27, 2021 @ 4:54am 
Send me your field tested dragon lore
Apr 17, 2021 @ 7:45am 
Send me your field tested dragon lore
Feb 21, 2021 @ 4:15am 
Send me your field tested dragon lore
Feb 21, 2021 @ 4:15am 
Hi
Feb 19, 2021 @ 4:29am 
Benedict Paul Weber 2 May, 2016 @ 10:07pm
──────▄▌▐▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀​▀▀▀▀▀▀▌
───▄▄██▌█ Beep Beep
▄▄▄▌▐██▌█ Delivery Of Games You Bought But
███████▌█ Won't Play
███████▌█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄​▄▄▄▄▄▄▌
▀(@)▀▀▀▀▀▀▀(@)(@)▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀​▀▀▀▀(@)▀
Feb 9, 2021 @ 2:03pm 
Hi
Jan 31, 2021 @ 5:40pm 
:redjewel:i come home from work yesterday releived myself but battled not wanking for hours and whilst i was battling it like i went abit mad was thinking about ancient monks who would practise going there whole lives without releiving themselves as a test of devotion to god was thinkiing about why my life went the way it did why iv always struggled with premature ejaculation and also what the devil did that ♥♥♥♥♥♥ everything up and my mind spirals on millions of other things too use your imagination but when i gave in and relieved myself the second i was relieved this shard of light came across my ceiling from a cars headlights driving up the street which happens all ths time it was god calling me a wanker:redjewel:
Oct 24, 2020 @ 6:48am 
dxrk (Gaytits) 21 Oct @ 11:12pm
off my profile fellazombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nit just makes me so sad i mean it's really weird to have a crush on person who is almost completely sdxrk (Gaytits) 21 Oct @ 11:12pm
off my profile fella
Oct 22, 2020 @ 11:39am 
+rep
Oct 21, 2020 @ 3:12pm 
off my profile fella
Jul 17, 2020 @ 2:55am 
the truth is that i have a crush on you and i just feel like i don't have a right to do so since i don't even know you properly i mean i have no idea about your favourite food or your favourite animal and it just makes me so sad i mean it's really weird to have a crush on person who is almost completely stranger to me but hah i guess that that is the world of adults since people met at bars and online and stuff but i guess that when you meet someone online on some crappy dating site you at least know something idk idk im sorry i'm weird and ♥♥♥♥ed up and a mess and i really apologize for being creepy i never wanted to act like that and it really makes me sad since now you must think that i'm a creep or something well i am a creep but i don't want to be a creep but yeah im too weak so i can't really change myself and yeah okay bye
Jun 19, 2020 @ 2:32pm 
hey, sorry I saw your profile and I just thought you looked cute in your picture, I really wanted to tell you that)) It's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! I don't know why its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwiches. We should really play l4d2 sometime its a really cool zombie game with a lot of scary moments, but don't worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting I swear Im just trying to be friendly I really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? Really sorry i'm really shy I don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx
Mar 23, 2020 @ 1:52pm 
thanks for carrying -1 rep
Feb 25, 2020 @ 9:41am 
dx best mate ever love you cheers
Feb 24, 2020 @ 7:13am 
scrambled egg haha
Feb 24, 2020 @ 6:59am 
heard skizon is your mate
smelly mutant
haha
Nov 7, 2019 @ 9:17am 
absolute nugget
Nov 6, 2019 @ 11:09am 
The kids turned out fine
:shigure2::shigure2::shigure2::shigure2:
how's the wife?
Sep 29, 2019 @ 11:32am 
My gamer mate.
Jul 20, 2019 @ 3:06pm 
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May 12, 2019 @ 3:35am 
❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤
Post this on the walls of the 12 prettiest Girls you know...
If you get back 5 you're beautiful. ..
❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤
Apr 24, 2019 @ 7:06am 
❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤
Post this on the walls of the 12 prettiest Girls you know...
If you get back 5 you're beautiful. ..
❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤
Apr 24, 2019 @ 5:48am 
❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤
Post this on the walls of the 12 prettiest Girls you know...
If you get back 5 you're beautiful. ..
❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤
Apr 23, 2019 @ 2:11pm 
❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤
Post this on the walls of the 12 prettiest Girls you know...
If you get back 5 you're beautiful. ..
❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤ ❤¸.•*""*•. ¸❤
Jan 10, 2019 @ 9:25am 
binman trim