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5 
3 
He opened the door with a Ninja headband and a gaming chair strapped to his back. "For mobility." He had a 47-slide PowerPoint on why his settings were perfect. Slide 23 was just a photo of me with "wrong" written on it.
At some point he went to the bathroom. I heard viscous, unidentifiable sounds. Things that should not exist in nature. He came back like nothing happened.
I went after him. Walked in and lost 40% of my vision instantly. The smell had a physical form. Whatever he left in there was not human. I did not finish my pizza.
At night he tried to tea-bag me in real life while I was sleeping. I have never been more disrespected.
He is my best friend. Do not trust him.
⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⢸⣿
⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣀⣰⣬⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣆⠘⣿⣿⢸⣿
⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢿⣿⢸⣿
⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠺⣿⢸⣿
⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⢠⢸⡝⣿⠭⠉⢻⣿⠉⢐⢚⣯⣻⣷⢿⣿⢸⣿
⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⢰⡸⢷⣤⣌⣧⣾⣿⣷⣬⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⢸⣿
⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠅⢽⣿⡟⣱⠻⡿⠟⣮⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿
⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⢿⠰⠋⠷⠄⠼⣛⡛⣹⡿⢿⣿⣿⠸⠿
⣿⡇⠄⠂⠄⢀⠄⠄⢀⠉⣾⣍⣉⣩⣿⣷⢏⣽⠄⠈⠙⠿⢿
⣿⠇⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⢸⣦⠈⠛⠛⠛⡻⢵⣾⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣷⣌⡀⢈⣽⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠏⢹⠀⠀⠱⡀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠘⠄
⣤⣤⡤⢤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠃⠀⠈⠒⠢⢤⡀⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀🍉⣤⠤⢄⣀
⡏⠉⠒⠒⠤⡀⠉⠙⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢺⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⢛⠛⠋⡈⡀⠌⢣
⠸⡀⠀⠀⢀⠎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡖⠛⠲⠀⠀⠱⠀⠀⡎⠄⡁⠄⡁⠄⡀⠄⡁⠸⡀
⠀⠱⡀⠀⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠨⠀⢘⠡⡀⠄⡀⠄⡀⠄⡀⠨⡎
⠀⠀⠈⠺⡇⠀⢀⡞⠉⠉⠂⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣹⡉⡩⢢⡀⠄⡀⠄⡀⠄⣠⠏⡅
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢇⠀⠈⠃⠀⠀⠀⣀⠜⠓⢻⠀⠀⠀⡰⠗⠉⠀⢀⡍⢦⣄⣤⣴⠟⠋⠀⡸
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠤⠜⠀⠀⠊⠀⠀⢀⠞⠉⠀⠀⠈⢣⣀⣠⠤⠚⠁
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡳⠧⡥⢦⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠊