But hey, enjoy this victory. Frame it. Put it on your résumé. Tell your grandchildren about the glorious day you managed to beat me by mashing like your life depended on it.

You won the battle.
But the war is mine.

Enjoy your little victory screen, fraud.

I’ll see you in the rematch. And this time, bring a fourth character. I don’t want you running out of assists

Congratulations on the win, champ. You literally had to pick Clive, Miary Zo AND Alisa just to squeeze out a victory. You’re not playing Tekken 8, you’re playing “How many ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ options can I abuse before my controller files for divorce?”

Your neutral game is literally press buttons and pray, your footsies consist of walking forward until something hits, and whenever you lose a round I can already hear the controller getting blamed.

Clive throwing half the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ screen at me, Alisa flying around like she’s auditioning for an anime, and Miary Zo doing whatever the ♥♥♥♥ Miary Zo does. That’s not a team, that’s a cry for help.