Hm.... Maybe i should write something COMPLETELY emo too?
:p
The red fabric... threads interlacing into the yellow fabrics. Removed from old shorts, buttons sewn on with the care you would provide to your very own child. Every stitch, every taper matching a precise measurement. In and out, the needle moves through the cloths, seeming to make a pattern or song with the thuds of the string tightening and zipping through the fabric. One stitch left... one stitch... and i can hand you... not tell you... but let you hold every emotion i ever felt for you.
After these past two days... I don't really understand why my heart is still beating. I applaud it's endurance and persistance. I'm very impressed, myself. My brain gets my heart into so much trouble. So much neglect, it really doesn't deserve. Love is a very unfair process. The heart gives everything it can to make everything work right. Make you an honest person. Make your life complete. Everyone knows exactly where they're going in life. Your heart is pointing you straight at it, yet your brain scrambles your readings, and shears your pathways all over the place. Seems like one day your heart would stand up to your brain and tell it to back off, and settle down. But no. The heart is such a pacifistic creation... it simply sits back, and waits for it's chance to wield conrol. I guess I have to wish it wasn't so patient. Maybe things would have never worked out this way. I wish I'd never said the things I said. More so, I wish I hadn't done the things I'd done. Your heart knows when to shut up. Unfortunately my brain doesn't. It's like your brain can't think and work at the same time. And for this... I'm standing here. Snow is falling everywhere. It's beautiful. Almost glorious. But the loss of feeling in my toes, and my clattering teeth seem to draw a bit from the romanticism. Stupid canvas shoes. Not built for snow... they are equipped with no sort of insulation. In this case, style shouldn't be an issue. But what can i say? When it came to you... i was always dressed to impress. You'd be amazed at the laborous thought I put into what I wear when i knew i'd be seeing you. And at this point... impression was critical. So i guess I didn't mind that my toes were freezing. Besides... you'd fall in love with this scarf. You loved boys with scarves. Both Dark and Light teal stripes, of course to bring out my eyes, that you said she loves so much. I don't see why you're so impressed. I'd rather have yours any day. I'd stand here waiting for you all day if i had to. I would. But God, I wish you'd show up already.
Neighbors are probably getting creeped out now. A stranger person... they've seen before, but do not know, standing in a neighbors yard, not moving, simply waiting. Not exactly an every day sight. I see them stare out of their windows at me. Some taking it as far as to sneak glances, as if I don't know they're looking. I really couldn't care less. I was far too busy taking in the beautiful yet diverse designs of each and every snowflake that fell. I wanted to catch them, and take them home, and decorate things with them, but these snow flakes, like most good things, don't last forever. So I admired them while I could. Does that sound familliar to you? You watch as it approaches you. Admire it's beauty... enjoy every second you can with it. Treat it as gently and your hand and heart will allow, as to not break such a fragile structure. You fill your heart fill and overflow with joy and excitement, even though you know theres a strong possibility in a single movement or single second, you could break it, or it would fade away. But you hold on to it for every second you can. Snowflakes are amazing...
And as these ideas played around in my head... jumping from conclusion to conclusion like childern in a game of leapfrog... my thought processes were shattered by the beams of headlights. Your car was pulling into the driveway. I would have walked to meet you at your car door... but I couldn't feel my feet. I was sure you'd walk to me. I was right. You approached me. A slightly confused look upon your face. You closed your eyes and sighed.
"What are you doing here? You know I can't stand to see you right now. Just... Just get into your car and go. Please." You said, then looking down with your finger placed on her brow...shaking her head in discontent.
I looked down at what I had been holding in my hands this whole time. "Look... I made this for you. I've spent every night thinking about every word... every action I made wrong. I played over ever scenario I could appologize to you. I played out every movement, every word, every feeling. I thought of everything that could possibly result from what I did, and I thought of every way I could try to make you forgive me. But I crossed it all out. I mentally backspaced it all, and decided I wont make you do anything. Here. Take this. I made this for you. every stitch had you in mind. every piece of fabric means something to me about you. Every inch of thread holding it together signifies every time i wish i could tell you what I want to tell you now." I extended my arm, and placed in your hands the handcrafted bear. Every inch, cut, sewn, and stuffed by hand. "My heart is in that bear. And I want you to keep it forever."
You looked at me with your beautiful green eyes. They're blue... but on certain occasions they turn green... that's when I like them the most. I could barely see them from the glares of your tears. you lunged forward and wrapped your arms tightly around my neck, and nuzzled your cheek in under my jaw. I couldn't have ever felt happier.
"I love you... it just... hurts sometimes..." you said through a teary voice.
"I know it does..." I said.. as i squeezed you tighter, as if i'd never let go " so you can take all the time you want in making everything okay for you. I've stood here for four hours in the freezing snow... waiting to give you this. I could ahve waited here all day. Take your time... and when your heart says you're good to go... I'll still be here. I'm not going anywhere. I'll freeze before I move."
You looked at the ground, then moved your eyes back up to me... and you said. "i love you so much... and you're so damn hot with that scarf on..."
sorry. ^_^ had to. ^_^
:p
The red fabric... threads interlacing into the yellow fabrics. Removed from old shorts, buttons sewn on with the care you would provide to your very own child. Every stitch, every taper matching a precise measurement. In and out, the needle moves through the cloths, seeming to make a pattern or song with the thuds of the string tightening and zipping through the fabric. One stitch left... one stitch... and i can hand you... not tell you... but let you hold every emotion i ever felt for you.
After these past two days... I don't really understand why my heart is still beating. I applaud it's endurance and persistance. I'm very impressed, myself. My brain gets my heart into so much trouble. So much neglect, it really doesn't deserve. Love is a very unfair process. The heart gives everything it can to make everything work right. Make you an honest person. Make your life complete. Everyone knows exactly where they're going in life. Your heart is pointing you straight at it, yet your brain scrambles your readings, and shears your pathways all over the place. Seems like one day your heart would stand up to your brain and tell it to back off, and settle down. But no. The heart is such a pacifistic creation... it simply sits back, and waits for it's chance to wield conrol. I guess I have to wish it wasn't so patient. Maybe things would have never worked out this way. I wish I'd never said the things I said. More so, I wish I hadn't done the things I'd done. Your heart knows when to shut up. Unfortunately my brain doesn't. It's like your brain can't think and work at the same time. And for this... I'm standing here. Snow is falling everywhere. It's beautiful. Almost glorious. But the loss of feeling in my toes, and my clattering teeth seem to draw a bit from the romanticism. Stupid canvas shoes. Not built for snow... they are equipped with no sort of insulation. In this case, style shouldn't be an issue. But what can i say? When it came to you... i was always dressed to impress. You'd be amazed at the laborous thought I put into what I wear when i knew i'd be seeing you. And at this point... impression was critical. So i guess I didn't mind that my toes were freezing. Besides... you'd fall in love with this scarf. You loved boys with scarves. Both Dark and Light teal stripes, of course to bring out my eyes, that you said she loves so much. I don't see why you're so impressed. I'd rather have yours any day. I'd stand here waiting for you all day if i had to. I would. But God, I wish you'd show up already.
Neighbors are probably getting creeped out now. A stranger person... they've seen before, but do not know, standing in a neighbors yard, not moving, simply waiting. Not exactly an every day sight. I see them stare out of their windows at me. Some taking it as far as to sneak glances, as if I don't know they're looking. I really couldn't care less. I was far too busy taking in the beautiful yet diverse designs of each and every snowflake that fell. I wanted to catch them, and take them home, and decorate things with them, but these snow flakes, like most good things, don't last forever. So I admired them while I could. Does that sound familliar to you? You watch as it approaches you. Admire it's beauty... enjoy every second you can with it. Treat it as gently and your hand and heart will allow, as to not break such a fragile structure. You fill your heart fill and overflow with joy and excitement, even though you know theres a strong possibility in a single movement or single second, you could break it, or it would fade away. But you hold on to it for every second you can. Snowflakes are amazing...
And as these ideas played around in my head... jumping from conclusion to conclusion like childern in a game of leapfrog... my thought processes were shattered by the beams of headlights. Your car was pulling into the driveway. I would have walked to meet you at your car door... but I couldn't feel my feet. I was sure you'd walk to me. I was right. You approached me. A slightly confused look upon your face. You closed your eyes and sighed.
"What are you doing here? You know I can't stand to see you right now. Just... Just get into your car and go. Please." You said, then looking down with your finger placed on her brow...shaking her head in discontent.
I looked down at what I had been holding in my hands this whole time. "Look... I made this for you. I've spent every night thinking about every word... every action I made wrong. I played over ever scenario I could appologize to you. I played out every movement, every word, every feeling. I thought of everything that could possibly result from what I did, and I thought of every way I could try to make you forgive me. But I crossed it all out. I mentally backspaced it all, and decided I wont make you do anything. Here. Take this. I made this for you. every stitch had you in mind. every piece of fabric means something to me about you. Every inch of thread holding it together signifies every time i wish i could tell you what I want to tell you now." I extended my arm, and placed in your hands the handcrafted bear. Every inch, cut, sewn, and stuffed by hand. "My heart is in that bear. And I want you to keep it forever."
You looked at me with your beautiful green eyes. They're blue... but on certain occasions they turn green... that's when I like them the most. I could barely see them from the glares of your tears. you lunged forward and wrapped your arms tightly around my neck, and nuzzled your cheek in under my jaw. I couldn't have ever felt happier.
"I love you... it just... hurts sometimes..." you said through a teary voice.
"I know it does..." I said.. as i squeezed you tighter, as if i'd never let go " so you can take all the time you want in making everything okay for you. I've stood here for four hours in the freezing snow... waiting to give you this. I could ahve waited here all day. Take your time... and when your heart says you're good to go... I'll still be here. I'm not going anywhere. I'll freeze before I move."
You looked at the ground, then moved your eyes back up to me... and you said. "i love you so much... and you're so damn hot with that scarf on..."
sorry. ^_^ had to. ^_^
