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Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents Paperback – June 1, 2015
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A New York Times bestseller—with more than one million copies sold!
If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life.
In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life.
Discover the four types of difficult parents:
- The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety
- The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone
- The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting
- The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory
- Print length216 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherNew Harbinger Publications
- Publication dateJune 1, 2015
- Dimensions3.94 x 5.91 x 9.06 inches
- ISBN-101626251703
- ISBN-13978-1626251700
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Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents Guided Journal
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| Customer Reviews |
4.8 out of 5 stars 2,464
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4.8 out of 5 stars 810
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4.8 out of 5 stars 408
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4.7 out of 5 stars 205
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| Price | $10.90$10.90 | $16.19$16.19 | $14.53$14.53 | $19.82$19.82 |
| More books by Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD | Practical Tools to Establish Boundaries and Reclaim Your Emotional Autonomy | Honor Your Emotions, Nurture Your Self, and Live with Confidence | Avoid Emotional Traps, Stand Up for Your Self, and Transform Your Relationships as an Adult Child of Emotionally Immature Parents | Your Space to Heal, Reflect, and Reconnect with Your True Self |
Editorial Reviews
Review
—Foreword Magazine
“Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is written with the wisdom and heart of a seasoned therapist and the mind of a scholar who’s spent decades poring over psychological research and theory. In this book, Lindsay C. Gibson seamlessly blends this impressive body of knowledge with the real-life experiences of her clients to create a user-friendly and highly readable book. … This book is not about blame but rather about understanding oneself on a deep level and learning to heal.”
—Esther Lerman Freeman, PsyD, clinical associate professor at the Oregon Health and Science University School of Medicine
“Children cannot choose their parents. Unfortunately, many individuals grow up suffering the life-shaping adversities of having emotionally immature, neglectful parents. With wisdom and compassion, Lindsay C. Gibson enables readers to recognize and better understand these toxic relationships and to create novel, healthy paths of healing. This book provides a powerful opportunity for self-help and is a wonderful resource for therapists to recommend to clients in need.”
—Thomas F. Cash, PhD, Professor Emeritus of psychology at Old Dominion University, and author of The Body Image Workbook
“Lindsay C. Gibson’s insightful book offers the ‘emotionally lonely’ a step-by-step journey toward self-awareness and healing. Gibson’s revealing anecdotes, enlightening exercises, and honest insight lead the reader to a better understanding of how to connect more fully with oneself and others. This is an excellent book for anyone who feels isolated from family members and seeks to enjoy a more emotionally connected life.”
—Peggy Sijswerda, editor and publisher of Tidewater Women (tidewaterwomen.com) and Tidewater Family (tidewaterfamily.com), and author of Still Life with Sierra
“Lindsay C. Gibson’s Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is an insightful and compassionate guide for anyone seeking to understand and overcome the long-term impact of growing up in an emotionally barren family. Here you will find sage advice and simple practices that will help you break free from old patterns, connect more deeply with yourself and others, and, ultimately, be the person you were always meant to be.”
—Ronald J. Frederick, PhD, psychologist and author of Living Like You Mean It
“Lindsay C. Gibson, a very experienced psychotherapist, wrote Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents to provide guidance to adults for self-help in resolving anxiety, depression, and relationship difficulties that result from having emotionally immature parents. It is a thorough and detailed description of immature parents, children’s experience of their parenting, and methods to resolve the resulting problems. There are many useful examples from Gibson’s psychotherapy clients. The book includes helpful exercises for self-understanding. A person can use the book to develop emotional maturity and deeper relationships.”
—Neill Watson, PhD, research professor and Professor Emeritus of psychology at the College of William and Mary, and clinical psychologist who does research on anxiety, depression, and psychotherapy
“Based on years of reading, research, and working with patients, psychologist Lindsay C. Gibson has written an outstanding book about the multiple ways that emotionally immature parents impact the lives of their adult children. I highly recommend Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents for all readers who want to understand the parent/child dynamic. This is an uplifting book that provides hope and superb coping strategies for those who find it difficult or impossible to bond with parents who lack empathy and sensitivity. … Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents is full of wisdom that will enable you to relate to your family members and friends in the healthiest way possible—no matter what age you are—and possibly even to recognize what’s behind some of the dysfunctional exchanges depicted in the news and in popular culture.”
—Robin Cutler, PhD, historian and author of A Soul on Trial
“Lindsay C. Gibson’s book, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, is filled with clinical vignettes that will resonate with adult children of emotionally immature parents. The book also offers practical advice and exercises for identifying one’s true self and avoiding the pitfalls of self-images, relationships, and fantasies that undermine one’s psychological well-being. Finally, the book provides solid guidelines for interacting with one’s emotionally immature parents in a manner that avoids painful and damaging recreations of the past. Readers will find relief from recognizing that they are not alone and that they are understood by this remarkable clinician.”
—B. A. Winstead, PhD, professor of psychology at Old Dominion University and the Virginia Consortium Program in Clinical Psychology, and coeditor of Psychopathology: Foundations for a Contemporary Understanding, Third Edition
“I’ve interviewed hundreds of people on my show, and my episodes with Lindsay C. Gibson are among the most popular and resonant. She gives people practical tools for both understanding and handling the most difficult people in their lives. Highly recommend.”
—Dan Harris, host of the Ten Percent Happier podcast
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : New Harbinger Publications
- Publication date : June 1, 2015
- Edition : 1st
- Language : English
- Print length : 216 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1626251703
- ISBN-13 : 978-1626251700
- Item Weight : 11.3 ounces
- Dimensions : 3.94 x 5.91 x 9.06 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #174 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD, is a clinical psychologist in private practice who specializes in individual psychotherapy with adult children of emotionally immature parents. She is author of Who You Were Meant to Be and writes a monthly column on well-being for Tidewater Women magazine. In the past she has served as an adjunct assistant professor of graduate psychology for the College of William and Mary, as well as for Old Dominion University. Gibson lives and practices in Virginia Beach, Virginia.
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Top reviews from the United States
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- Reviewed in the United States on January 5, 2026Format: PaperbackVerified PurchaseThis was an insightful and validating read, especially for anyone who has grown up around emotionally immature or unavailable people. I read it and then re-read it after it was recommended to my husband and me, and it helped us better understand certain family dynamics and why they can be so difficult to navigate. The book offered clarity and reassurance, along with practical ways to protect emotional well-being and approach relationships with healthier boundaries. It’s a thoughtful resource for anyone looking to break old patterns and move forward with greater self-awareness and intention.
- Reviewed in the United States on April 18, 2026Format: PaperbackVerified PurchaseThis is an eye opener for me. Self reflection is what I am going through after coming out of a toxic relationship with someone who I valued as my best friend. As I read this book it helps me to understand people better and reflect on myself as a parent of adult children. The friendship that ended helped me to see patterns that were different from mere words helped me to awaken and to be aware of unacceptable behaviors I felt I had to tolerate to remain in a toxic situation. As I read this book, it helps me to see this person’s bad behavior being stemmed from a result of a lack of emotional detachment from her parents. I too see that in my own backstory from my now deceased father. He took care of me physically as being a good provider for our family but I so craved his attention and love. I felt unseen and he was probably raised up in the same environment. I am now 68 years old and this book is a great read.
This is an eye opener for me. Self reflection is what I am going through after coming out of a toxic relationship with someone who I valued as my best friend. As I read this book it helps me to understand people better and reflect on myself as a parent of adult children. The friendship that ended helped me to see patterns that were different from mere words helped me to awaken and to be aware of unacceptable behaviors I felt I had to tolerate to remain in a toxic situation. As I read this book, it helps me to see this person’s bad behavior being stemmed from a result of a lack of emotional detachment from her parents. I too see that in my own backstory from my now deceased father. He took care of me physically as being a good provider for our family but I so craved his attention and love. I felt unseen and he was probably raised up in the same environment. I am now 68 years old and this book is a great read.
Images in this review
- Reviewed in the United States on March 7, 2026Format: PaperbackVerified PurchaseThis book is a literal life changer. It was amazingly useful and easy to understand. I recommend it to anyone struggling with anxiety or loneliness or difficulties with processing parental relationships
- Reviewed in the United States on May 24, 2025Format: HardcoverVerified PurchaseMy best friend recommended the book "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents". At first, I didn't know that I'd really get into it, I thought it might hit too hard. Boy was I right! As someone who doesn't read books as much as self help content, magazines, DIY projects ideas, or memes, it's important to know that I've
completed this book twice already!
I tested an audible version and finished it immediately. I ended up buying the hardback version so I could study it more and keep notes. I bought another copy for a coworker who wanted toborroww mine. At work I was listening to a college student's home life struggles and recommended the book to them- they were going to look into it quickly. A few weeks ago, I mentioned the book in my routine therapy session and my therapist showed interest, both for her own use as well as a clinician who works with people who have similar backgrounds. She ended up buying the book and we are working through it together. In just two sessions of discussing it, this book has helped her to quickly understand more about my childhood and how it has shaped who I am, which will only improve therapy effectiveness.
I couldn't complete the introduction of this book without feeling completely seen or understood. Nearly every scenario in this book relates to me, my mom, or my dad in some way; even my siblings. It has taught me about characteristics my siblings have as a result of their childhood experiences of coping mechanisms. There have also been several times I've been enlightened by learning things about myself are direct results of my traumatic childhood.
If you are looking for healing, coping strategies, or want to learn more about how your childhood has shaped your development and even your present self, I cannot recommend this book enough. Heck, you will even learn about aspects and characteristics you have that you didn't even know were related to your experiences. You're not broken, you just need to begin (or continue to) heal your inner child and grow into who you are meant to be.
Read the book- actively read it, take notes, highlight important pieces. If you need to, read it in small doses and take short breaks in between. While the book covers a lot of sensitive information, the author has written it in Lehman terms to ensure the reader understands her solid, decades long research on this topic. If you are reading the reviews because the title lead you to believe the book could relate to you in some way or another, I can assure you it absolutely does.
So why are you still reading this review? Buy the book and begin your healing self.
- Reviewed in the United States on August 28, 2016Format: PaperbackVerified PurchaseTo take a big picture of life, it seems we are evolving towards a point where doctors and therapists are finally telling people what is up, as opposed to hedging around it and allowing people I guess to come to conclusions on their own after they have been presented with the information. From a Socratic method - I do understand this in that people do learn better when they come to their own conclusions.
That being said, this book does a pretty good job of spelling things out clearly and concisely. Parents are not often the paragons to whom children must submit because they happened to shoot them out of their penises; instead, parents are often flawed and selfish, and a selfish person - regardless of if they are a parent, thinks of themselves first to the endangerment of their own children.
It is at this point the book diverges. Yes, it does a very good job of then following what these children from selfish parents are, what they are like, why they do the things they do, and why they continue to make the same mistakes in their lives and in adult relationships through what the author terms as "healing fantasies."
However, it pulls punches on the parents in that it does not condemn their behavior, perhaps because it is not in the scope of the book nor the author's work, but bad parents cannot be good people - even if they are a pillar of the community. Trying to search for good in a selfish, bad parent is what creates the author's "healing fantasies."
That being said, this is still a good book for children of these parents in that identifies their characteristics, from where these come, how to identify selfish parents, and what to do about it.
This is important, but it does not go too much in depth how to turn this around - if for no other reason than the relatively short length of the book, and again, as I mentioned in the beginning, this may be because the author feels the reader should be presented with this information and then move on it themselves, which does indeed have some merit...
Top reviews from other countries
Evane Pierre TanReviewed in Belgium on October 16, 20244.0 out of 5 stars It was a gift.
Format: PaperbackVerified PurchaseIt was a gift but I think everything is good
MarinaReviewed in Mexico on September 8, 20255.0 out of 5 stars Very Good read must have
Format: PaperbackVerified PurchaseThis book is a must!
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AmyReviewed in Germany on March 2, 20245.0 out of 5 stars Sehr Hilfreiches und schön gestaltetes/strukturiertes Buch
Format: PaperbackVerified PurchaseProduktrezension: "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents"
Das Buch "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" ist ein äußerst hilfreicher Leitfaden für Erwachsene, die in ihrer Kindheit mit emotional unreifen Eltern aufgewachsen sind und mit den Auswirkungen dieser Erfahrungen umgehen möchten.
Der Autor, Lindsay C. Gibson, ist ein erfahrener Therapeut, der auf die Dynamik zwischen Eltern und ihren erwachsenen Kindern spezialisiert ist. In diesem Buch deckt sie verschiedene Arten von emotional unreifen Eltern ab, wie distanzierte, ablehnende oder selbstbezogene Eltern, und bietet Erklärungen und Einsichten darüber, wie diese Verhaltensweisen das Leben ihrer Kinder beeinflussen können.
Ein Hauptvorteil dieses Buches ist die Klarheit und Einfachheit, mit der Gibson komplexe psychologische Konzepte erklärt. Sie verwendet Beispiele aus der realen Welt und Fallstudien, um die Dynamik zwischen Eltern und Kindern zu veranschaulichen und den Lesern dabei zu helfen, ihre eigenen Erfahrungen besser zu verstehen.
Ein weiterer positiver Aspekt des Buches ist die praktische Herangehensweise an die Heilung. Gibson bietet konkrete Strategien und Übungen, die den Lesern helfen sollen, ihre emotionalen Wunden zu heilen und gesunde Beziehungen aufzubauen. Sie ermutigt die Leser auch, sich selbst zu vergeben und Mitgefühl für sich selbst zu entwickeln, während sie den Weg der Heilung beschreiten.
Das Buch ist gut strukturiert und leicht zu lesen. Gibson verwendet eine klare und zugängliche Sprache, die es auch Personen ohne psychologischen Hintergrund ermöglicht, die Konzepte und Ratschläge zu verstehen. Die Kapitel bauen aufeinander auf und bieten einen klaren Weg zur Heilung, wobei jedes Kapitel spezifische Themen und Herausforderungen behandelt.
Es ist wichtig zu beachten, dass dieses Buch keine schnellen Lösungen oder Wundermittel verspricht. Die Heilung von emotionalen Verletzungen erfordert Zeit, Geduld und Arbeit. Das Buch bietet jedoch einen wertvollen Leitfaden und eine Quelle der Unterstützung für Menschen, die sich mit den Auswirkungen ihrer Kindheit auseinandersetzen und den Weg zur Heilung einschlagen möchten.
Insgesamt kann ich "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" allen empfehlen, die in ihrer Kindheit mit emotional unreifen Eltern aufgewachsen sind und nach Heilung suchen. Das Buch bietet wertvolle Einblicke, praktische Strategien und ein Gefühl der Gemeinschaft für Menschen, die ähnliche Erfahrungen gemacht haben. Es ist ein hilfreicher Begleiter auf dem Weg zur Selbstheilung und zum Aufbau gesunder Beziehungen.
Amazon カスタマーReviewed in Japan on January 16, 20255.0 out of 5 stars Lovely book
Format: PaperbackVerified PurchaseEasy psychology for everyone, explains emotional needs.
Riccardo Della MarteraReviewed in Italy on May 12, 20245.0 out of 5 stars Amazing book
Format: KindleVerified PurchaseAmazing book. Very clear, full of real stories and useful exercises.
Enlightening on some of its paragraphs. A must read















