Golden Years, Great Sex: Essential Sex Advice for Seniors

Sex Advice for Seniors

You’re here because you have questions about sex and aging. Whether you’re experiencing changes in sexual function, navigating new relationships, or simply curious about what intimacy looks like in later life, you’re not alone.

Despite lingering stereotypes, older people like you are continuing to enjoy healthy, fulfilling sex lives, and in many cases, even discovering new ways of connecting and experiencing desire. The truth is, your sexual adventures don’t have to fizzle out just because you’ve reached a certain age.

Still, it’s worth acknowledging that aging can bring about physical and emotional changes that impact your sexual health. That’s why a little senior sex advice, a few precautions, and an open mind can go a long way.

In this guide, we’ll walk you through what to expect, what to watch for, and how to turn good sex into epic sex — safely, confidently, and on your own terms.

Can a 70-Year-Old Man Be Sexually Active?

Of course, 70-year-old men can be sexually active. Age shouldn’t limit your sex life.

Provided you’re in good health, you can enjoy sex over 70 and well beyond. But sex might look different in your golden years.

According to studies on sexual health in older adults, here’s why:

• Your overall sex drive might become weaker, reducing your interest in intimacy.

• You could develop erectile dysfunction (ED) and struggle to get or stay hard enough for sex or masturbation.

• It might be more challenging to reach orgasm, and ejaculating may be delayed or happen too soon.

• Muscle tone, stamina, and strength may all decline, making sex more challenging.

• Your injury risk goes up due to brittle bones and weaker muscles.

• You might experience a gradual decline in testosterone levels.

Senior Sex and Well-Being

The good news is that scientists generally agree that older adult sex presents numerous quality-of-life benefits.

For example, a study in the journal Sexual Medicine surveyed nearly 7,000 men and women with a mean age of 65. It found that those who reported at least one sexual event in the past year had higher enjoyment of life scores than their peers.

Check Your General Health Regularly

Sexual confidence begins in the doctor’s office. Staying on top of your overall health and wellness is the foundation for great sex at any age, and in your later years, it becomes non-negotiable.

Part of this is ED prevention. Cardiovascular disease and type 2 diabetes are two common causes of erectile dysfunction, and both occur more frequently in older adults.

Regularly checking in with your primary care provider about your sexual health and testosterone levels (which research suggests decrease at an average of 1.6 percent a year).

Atherosclerosis (clogged arteries) and hypertension (high blood pressure) are also known causes of erectile dysfunction that occur more frequently in middle-aged and older men.

Maintain a Healthy, Active Lifestyle

Exercise is crucial for preventing medical conditions that could cause ED. Conversely, a sedentary lifestyle can increase your risk of erectile dysfunction. Try to maintain a healthy, active lifestyle, engage in regular physical activity, and eat a balanced diet.

We’re not talking marathons and deadlifts — a daily walk around the neighborhood and a salad for dinner are great starts, especially if the salad contains lean sources of protein.

And staying active may have the added benefit of improving cognitive ability and protecting against cognitive decline.

And yes, having sex burns calories, while keeping the pace up builds cardio health and stamina. This can also help you maintain a healthy body weight, which reduces your risk of age-related health problems like heart disease.

Take Care of Your Mental Health

Chronic stress, depression, sexual performance anxiety, and psychological ED can all affect your sex life if left untreated. Your self-esteem, comfort with your body, and overall happiness can impact erectile health at any age.

If the idea of speaking with a sex therapist makes you nervous, other options exist, such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), couples counseling, and more.

Explore the Best Sex Positions for Seniors

Some low-maintenance, but highly pleasurable sex positions to consider include:

• Modified missionary. We know missionary may not sound very exciting, but there’s a reason it’s a classic. If your partner is female, slide a pillow under her back for easier entry. This position also allows her to apply clitoral stimulation, which increases her chances of having an orgasm. If you think this position requires too much arm and core strength, try standing at the edge of the bed while her feet are in the air.

• Spooning. Sex while lying down? Why not? To try this position, have you and your partner lie on your sides with one partner’s back against the other’s chest. The position is highly intimate as it combines cuddling with a gentle lovemaking session, and you can even take things up a notch with a sex toy or two.

• 69 on the side. Oral sex is still sex, or a fun foreplay idea to get you both going. Instead of regular 69, which has one partner lying directly on top of the other, try performing oral sex on each other with you both lying on your sides. It puts less pressure on your hands and wrists and is equally satisfying.

Explore even more sex positions.

Understand the Importance of Lubrication

Sexual function problems aren’t just a men’s issue. Women experience hormonal changes with age, leading to vaginal dryness, which can make sex less enjoyable for everyone.

Luckily, this type of sexual dysfunction can be solved relatively easily with patience, support, and lube.

Our water-based lube is designed specifically for minimal discomfort, letting you and your partner enjoy satisfying, pleasurable, penetrative sex at any age.

Remember Your Partner Is Aging Too

Maybe you’re one of those men dating well out of his age range — and more power to you if you’re having a good time. Those with partners in the same age range will learn that their partners will eventually have their own age-related problems.

For older women, menopause affects:

• Sex drive

• Estrogen production

• Natural lubrication

• Reproductive health

Make sure to communicate and be aware of limitations on both sides of the bed. Consider sex therapy or couples counseling if you both can’t seem to get on the same page.

Try Thinking Outside the Box

Creativity shouldn’t be something you outgrow. It should be something that becomes more prevalent over time.

Sex toys, like vibrators, massagers, and sex pillows, are great tools for keeping things interesting. Oral sex, mutual masturbation, and other non-penetrative forms of sex can keep everyone excited for longer.

When in Doubt, Keep It Simple

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a step back. Ignore what’s trendy or new, and don’t feel obligated to have sex daily or every other day.

Do what you enjoy, and try not to compare yourself to others. Sex isn’t a competition — a sexual relationship with your partner is a two-way street.

Consider Using Medication to Treat ED

ED is treatable. The FDA (U.S. Food and Drug Administration) has approved several PDE5 inhibitors, including:

• Sildenafil (the active ingredient in Viagra^®)

• Tadalafil (Cialis^®)

• Vardenafil (Levitra^®)

• Avanafil (Stendra^®)

These ED medications work to improve blood flow to your penis and are generally safe and effective for older men if you’re deemed eligible by a healthcare provider. You should always inform your healthcare provider about other medications you use because some ED medications interact poorly with others. They’ll be able to tell you if you’re a good candidate for these types of medications or suggest others that may be more suitable.

Make Sure to Practice Safe Sex

While sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are a risk for any age group, studies show there’s a dramatic worldwide increase in STIs among older adults.

Getting tested for STIs (like gonorrhea, syphilis, and HIV) is a vital part of safe sex. And aside from abstinence, condoms are the best way to avoid sexually transmitted infections.

Our ultra-thin condoms feature proprietary technology for enhanced strength and reduced loss of sensation during sex.

Next Steps

Age is just a number.

Sexual desires change as you age, and so does your sexual stamina. But here’s what to do to maximize your sex life in older adulthood:

• Look after your health. Good sex relies on good health. Getting regular check-ups and leading a healthy, active lifestyle can help you live your sex life to the fullest.

• Be creative. From trying new sex positions to including lube and sex toys in your mix, there are plenty of ways to open up new avenues of sexual gratification for you and your partner.

• Get treatment for ED. Getting and maintaining erections after 65 can be more challenging than when you were younger. Fortunately, several ED medications and strategies can help you out. Don’t be afraid to bring this issue to your healthcare provider, who can provide the right solutions.

We’re here to help, especially with questions about how often couples have sex, what age men stop being sexually active, and what happens when a man is not sexually active.

Need more help with getting and staying hard? Schedule an ED consultation with a healthcare provider today.