New blog home!
Due to the difficulty of accessing Blogger while overseas, our blog's home has moved over here. Hope to see you there!
Saying Goodbye, Saying Hello
Just a few shots from our last days in China and first days in the States.
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| Anne with our beloved house helper |
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| Anne with one of my dearest friends |
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| Last time with my tutor (who may be studying in England when we return) |
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| Our Welcoming Committee- Adam's brother and nephew |
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| Katie and her cousin...could be twins! |
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| First morning fun with Grandma |
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| Reading time with Grandma |
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| After an awesome Sunday morning at Capitol Hill Baptist Church, we took a quick walk over to the Capitol, followed by lunch at Bojangles at Union Station. And did I mention the weather?! |
No time like the present...
...which for me is 2:10am. Yes, thanks to a lovely bout of jet lag, I've been wide awake since 11:20pm when the baby last woke up to eat. I'm thankful the rest of my family is sleeping though (unlike last night!).
Jet lag aside, it's been absolutely wonderful being back in the States. And now fast Internet and jet lag are reviving this ol' blog!
I'm hoping to finally post about Anne's birth and first (almost) 6 months of life. I'm also hoping to figure out how to better use the blogger iPhone app so I can post more frequently, chronicling out stateside journeys.
For now, we've been thoroughly enjoying breathing clean, sweet-smelling air and gazing up at clear blue skies. Was America always this beautiful? Trees and grass seem almost electrified in their greenness. I commented to Adam that life without smog is like seeing the world in HD!
Well, Anne's up again to eat. Here's to hoping we both go back to sleep after she's done!
Jet lag aside, it's been absolutely wonderful being back in the States. And now fast Internet and jet lag are reviving this ol' blog!
I'm hoping to finally post about Anne's birth and first (almost) 6 months of life. I'm also hoping to figure out how to better use the blogger iPhone app so I can post more frequently, chronicling out stateside journeys.
For now, we've been thoroughly enjoying breathing clean, sweet-smelling air and gazing up at clear blue skies. Was America always this beautiful? Trees and grass seem almost electrified in their greenness. I commented to Adam that life without smog is like seeing the world in HD!
Well, Anne's up again to eat. Here's to hoping we both go back to sleep after she's done!
One last hurrah
As we're now about 10 days away from meeting the newest McCulloch (csection on Nov 7, Lord-willing), I don't do a lot of public transportation these days. The walk to the busstop or subway usually results in some kind of hip or back pain simply from walking while carrying this heavy load in front, plus I figure if there's any time I can justify taking a taxi (which is easier and usually faster, albeit more expensive) it's now!
Friday night, however, our family had plans to eat dinner at the home of some friends who live just one subway stop north of us. It was a nice, crisp fall evening, the girls were in relatively good moods, and I was feeling up to it, so we decided to just take the subway instead of trying to catch a cab in the midst of Friday rush hour traffic. What we forgot, however, was that Friday rush hour traffic does not only affect the roads.....
Just imagine our family trying to squeeze our way into the subway car...an American-sized male, two small children, plus one over-sized pregnant belly. We were a spectacle.
Friday night, however, our family had plans to eat dinner at the home of some friends who live just one subway stop north of us. It was a nice, crisp fall evening, the girls were in relatively good moods, and I was feeling up to it, so we decided to just take the subway instead of trying to catch a cab in the midst of Friday rush hour traffic. What we forgot, however, was that Friday rush hour traffic does not only affect the roads.....
Mops and Brooms
I've long had a thing for Chinese brooms. Not the kind you buy at Wal-mart, mind you, but the kind people sweep the streets or sidewalks with. Made up of sticks and reeds, I think they are things of beauty (depending on how old/used they are). I've actually been tempted at various points to buy one and hang it on my wall--some of them totally look like something you'd buy as decor from Cracker Barrell!
I didn't really think much of my fondness for Chinese brooms until I came across this blog post about Chinese mops (her blog, by the way, is awesome for anyone that is interested in learning more about this amazing, often mind-baffling, country). The best part of the post is that someone in the comments section linked to another blog entitled "Awesome Mops of China." I highly encourage you to check both sites out.
Since I read this article, the girls and I have started playing "Count the Mops" anytime we're in a cab going somewhere. Without fail, on the average 5-10 minute cab ride, we'll spot no less than 20+ mops. They really are ubiquitous.
It makes me wonder what is something similar in America that non-Americans would notice and think, "Hm. What's up with those?"
I actually have a ton of videos and photos of such moments that I've been wanting to upload, but I've been regularly foiled by slow internet. Hmph. Hopefully they'll be some posted soon. In the meantime, let me know if you'd like a Chinese broom as a Christmas present...it might look nice hanging over your mantle!
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| Photo taken outside of Katie's school |
I didn't really think much of my fondness for Chinese brooms until I came across this blog post about Chinese mops (her blog, by the way, is awesome for anyone that is interested in learning more about this amazing, often mind-baffling, country). The best part of the post is that someone in the comments section linked to another blog entitled "Awesome Mops of China." I highly encourage you to check both sites out.
Since I read this article, the girls and I have started playing "Count the Mops" anytime we're in a cab going somewhere. Without fail, on the average 5-10 minute cab ride, we'll spot no less than 20+ mops. They really are ubiquitous.
It makes me wonder what is something similar in America that non-Americans would notice and think, "Hm. What's up with those?"
I actually have a ton of videos and photos of such moments that I've been wanting to upload, but I've been regularly foiled by slow internet. Hmph. Hopefully they'll be some posted soon. In the meantime, let me know if you'd like a Chinese broom as a Christmas present...it might look nice hanging over your mantle!
In our 'hood, Part 1
I have so many photos and videos to post, mostly just from our normal life in these parts.
Here's one from the other day on the playground in our complex. Apparently, Caroline is learning kung fu at kindergarten....
Cultural Tidbit: Moon Festival
Mooncakes are the gift of choice for the upcoming Mid-Autumn Festival. If you invite any guests over around the time of this holiday, it is guaranteed that they will gift you some. I can't even imagine how much money is spent on mooncakes each year, and the majority of them either get regifted or not eaten (usually both). I honestly don't know anyone who actually likes to eat mooncakes (not to mention that they are so unhealthy, clocking in from 800-1000 calories for a single 6 oz cake. Yikes.) Caroline, however, LOVES mooncakes. So much so, that earlier this year when I asked her what kind of cake she wanted for her birthday, she readily responded, "A moon cake." Mm, not so much in my repertoire, Caro. So, it's for reasons like this, that we call Caroline our Chinese child. As well as the fact that for awhile when you would ask her if she were Chinese or American, she would say, "Chinese."
Katie, however, may be catching up in Chinese-ness though...tonight she shocked me when she was able to rattle off each of the SEVEN different ancient Chinese poems she's had to memorize in the past week. We found out tonight (via email) that she has her first set of tests tomorrow, one of which is on these poems. I (internally) freaked out a bit...it's all we can do to just get the poem sort of memorized each night for the next day...already a test? And how on earth are they going to be tested on it? So it was with a little anxiety that I sat down with Katie to review. Blew. Me. Out. Of. The. Water. Clearly, they had been practicing in class (it makes me scared sometimes to think about how much drilling is likely going on in the classroom), but Katie was absolutely amazing. Especially since most of the time we have no idea what the poem is about, because, after all, it's ANCIENT CHINESE POETRY! Definitely need to get a video of my girl doing her thing.
School update
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| Speech Day (and a very excited little sister) |
1-The communication. Every night we get an email that goes out to all the parents that tell us the homework and any other thing that the teacher needs to tell the parents. Does this happen in America too? Having never done the school thing over there I just don't know (of course I went to school in America but let's by honest, technology then wasn't quite what it is today, to say the least!) I must say though, that part of the reason why there is such constant communication is that the school schedule (including drop off and pick up times) is not known until the night before...that's just how they roll over here. It drove me crazy when I was a teacher here 8 eight years ago--wouldn't you love it if your boss came to you in the morning and said, "By the way, you might have 3 classes this afternoon" (when usually you have none). Might have class? Yes or no, buddy? Gotta love crossing cultures. Can you imagine if the pick up/drop off time changed every day in the States? Parents would riot, would they not? And don't even try to ask when the school is out for holidays...they won't know until 3 days before it happens. Not super-big on long-term planning. Just a few cultural tidbits.
2- School uniforms. Three days of the week we don't have to think about what she has to wear to school. Love it.
So that's the scoop on Katie. She loves English class (duh) and says that her favorite classes today were math and pinyin (the Chinese phonetic system). I can't wait to hear how "martial arts class" goes tomorrow....
As for Caro, the first week of Sept was a little harder than before. She started going full half-days (as opposed to just 2 hours each morning). It's still only a little more than 3 hours, but for some reason she keeps getting psyched out when they serve the food (most Chinese kids eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner at kindergarten...yes even 2 and 3 year olds). She's usually pretty good about trying Chinese food and even likes most Chinese food more than Katie, so I'm not really sure why lunch time is spooking her (she cried the first two days of this week when it was time to eat lunch). We've told her that she will still get to eat at home and that we just want her to try and eat a little bit ("Try it and you might like it!") Thankfully, I can report (now almost two weeks after I first started writing this post!) Caro has completely acclimated to the new stuff at kindy, even to the point where they have finally started charging us for the food she eats. (They never made us pay the food fee for Katie since she never really ate except on the days they served dumplings.) I'm not entirely sure what exactly happens during the day at Caro's school--I'm mostly relying on a three year old to relay information. But she seems happy and her teachers think she's great and her classmates and their parents are all excited to see her when we're out and about, so I guess things are going well!
Thanks for your prayers and keep 'em coming!
Travels with Grandparents
The month of August was a wild one for us around here. We had the joy of having Adam's mom here for a month, which including a little trip to Hong Kong. At the end of the month, we had the pleasure of visiting my dad and stepmom in the Philippines for a weekend. It had been a year and a half since we had seen any family in person! Here are some photos from those adventures:
Katie's First Day
Well, we have had a week of answered prayers around here, that's for sure. For starters, as blogged about previously, Caroline continues to do great at kindy. Hurdle #1, crossed. The next hurdle was getting Katie started in the first grade at a local public primary school.
We had already experienced His faithfulness in providing a school. Next step, meeting Katie's teacher. This in and of itself was a grace---that her teacher was very eager and willing to meet up with us in order to better understand Katie, our family, our desires/expectations/concerns and, of course, to help us understand her and the school as well. Wednesday was the big day, and we couldn't have been happier with how it went. Katie's teacher is young and sweet (she brought Katie a princess pencil bag!) and seemed very eager to help Katie have a good experience, while also seeking not to single her out or make her a special case (which is what we want). We were also pleased with the web-based communication system the school uses, so we can stay in the loop (another great way to practice our Chinese! This is actually especially important to me since I won't be taking classes for some time after the baby arrives. I think though, between helping Katie with her homework and having to talk with the girls' teachers, I should still be able to making plenty of progress!)
One major surprise though came when Katie's teacher asked if Katie would be willing to make a speech on behalf of the whole first grade at the school's opening ceremonies on Saturday. Turns out, when we asked Katie what she thought, she was thrilled!!! She was so excited to finally have the chance to be one of the "special students" that gets to do something up front. If she was happy, we were happy! We were/are a little concerned that the school seems to be somewhat exploiting Katie's foreigner status (like "Look at us! We have a foreign student!" We first sensed this when Katie's picture was displayed on several slides of a powerpoint during a parent meeting....hm....). But if she's okay with it, and it helps give her a happy experience, then we're not going to rock the boat. So, in these last two days before school started, we've been memorizing an English translation of a speech--so a Chinese boy will read a line of the speech in Chinese, followed by Katie reading it in English. Thankfully, she is great at memorizing and has a great speaking voice (although she's never had a give a speech in front of an entire school....so pray for her!) Again, we just see so much of His kindness in this whole situation--the fact that Katie has a chance to feel special and is actually excited about something that most grown-ups fear worse than death (I actually read that somewhere recently...more people fear public speaking than fear death, which the author cleverly pointed out that means that at a funeral people would rather be the person in the casket than the person giving the eulogy! Ha!) I digress....
So Katie's first day was today--really only half a day to practice for the opening ceremony which is happening tomorrow. I was really nervous for how it was all going to go, especially after she had to miss all of the first grade orientation last weekend because we were visiting my dad in the Philippines. So I awaited her arrival home today at noon with bated breath. "How was it?" I asked when she walked in. "It was great." (massive sigh of relief) So great, in fact, that at dinner tonight, when we asked our usual "What was your favorite part of the day?" question, Katie said, "School." Let's pray that continues! We'll let you now how tomorrow goes!
We had already experienced His faithfulness in providing a school. Next step, meeting Katie's teacher. This in and of itself was a grace---that her teacher was very eager and willing to meet up with us in order to better understand Katie, our family, our desires/expectations/concerns and, of course, to help us understand her and the school as well. Wednesday was the big day, and we couldn't have been happier with how it went. Katie's teacher is young and sweet (she brought Katie a princess pencil bag!) and seemed very eager to help Katie have a good experience, while also seeking not to single her out or make her a special case (which is what we want). We were also pleased with the web-based communication system the school uses, so we can stay in the loop (another great way to practice our Chinese! This is actually especially important to me since I won't be taking classes for some time after the baby arrives. I think though, between helping Katie with her homework and having to talk with the girls' teachers, I should still be able to making plenty of progress!)
One major surprise though came when Katie's teacher asked if Katie would be willing to make a speech on behalf of the whole first grade at the school's opening ceremonies on Saturday. Turns out, when we asked Katie what she thought, she was thrilled!!! She was so excited to finally have the chance to be one of the "special students" that gets to do something up front. If she was happy, we were happy! We were/are a little concerned that the school seems to be somewhat exploiting Katie's foreigner status (like "Look at us! We have a foreign student!" We first sensed this when Katie's picture was displayed on several slides of a powerpoint during a parent meeting....hm....). But if she's okay with it, and it helps give her a happy experience, then we're not going to rock the boat. So, in these last two days before school started, we've been memorizing an English translation of a speech--so a Chinese boy will read a line of the speech in Chinese, followed by Katie reading it in English. Thankfully, she is great at memorizing and has a great speaking voice (although she's never had a give a speech in front of an entire school....so pray for her!) Again, we just see so much of His kindness in this whole situation--the fact that Katie has a chance to feel special and is actually excited about something that most grown-ups fear worse than death (I actually read that somewhere recently...more people fear public speaking than fear death, which the author cleverly pointed out that means that at a funeral people would rather be the person in the casket than the person giving the eulogy! Ha!) I digress....
So Katie's first day was today--really only half a day to practice for the opening ceremony which is happening tomorrow. I was really nervous for how it was all going to go, especially after she had to miss all of the first grade orientation last weekend because we were visiting my dad in the Philippines. So I awaited her arrival home today at noon with bated breath. "How was it?" I asked when she walked in. "It was great." (massive sigh of relief) So great, in fact, that at dinner tonight, when we asked our usual "What was your favorite part of the day?" question, Katie said, "School." Let's pray that continues! We'll let you now how tomorrow goes!
Full of praise!
After a month of sweet time with family and a bit of vacation, the new semester (and a return to normalcy) is rolling in. I say a return to normalcy but really it's a "new normalcy" since so much will be different about this semester: both girls in school (Caroline half days at preschool, Katie full days at Chinese school), Adam still taking classes at the university but likely also taking over my hours at the 1:1 tutoring company where I was studying, and I will be studying at home with a tutor instead of going out to class. Lots of changes!
I'll be honest...all of these changes and new ventures (particularly regarding the girls' school situations) have been a regularly source of anxiety for me over the past few months. I have had to be very diligent to battle fear and worry--the kind of worries that attack you when wake up in the middle of the night or that ambush you as soon as your alarm goes off in the morning, you know the kind. It has been a faith-builder for me...
All that to say, my heart is full of praise tonight as I am beginning to see God's goodness in answering so many prayers that have been offered over the past few months (mine and yours both, as I know many of you have been thinking of us).
Caroline started kindergarten last week, and we honestly didn't know how it was going to go. Self-control is not Caroline's strong suit, and I was just so nervous about how she would respond to being the only foreigner in an all-Chinese environment. Would she be able to understand enough Chinese to cooperate? Would she flip out when she couldn't understand or wasn't being understood? Would she bite the other kids? Would she be respectful to the teachers? The first glimmer of hope came when I had to take Caroline to the Chinese hospital for the health exam required for entrance into preschool. It was quite an encouraging experience, as I observed other kids her age as we were standing in line. Some of them were absolutely flipping out, particularly over the blood test (understandable, right?) And there stood Caroline, cool as a cucumber, who never once batted an eyelash or shed a tear. Totally the Lord. I began to have hope...and remembered that three year olds are all the same and that Caro's teachers would be well aware of the kinds of struggles three year olds have and wouldn't be shocked even if all my worst nightmares about her behavior came true.
Then came the first day of school. I'm actually quite thankful that I had class that day and had to miss both the drop-off and pick-up. I texted Adam during my class break to see how drop-off went. No problems! Lots of other kids crying but not the Bean! PTL! I was so happy to be home when she and Adam came through the door. She had had a great time--and had even gotten a sticker for her good behavior! Her teachers said she was great, she obeyed, she played well with the kids, everything. I quickly realized that these teachers are very smart--not only do the kids only have class for 2 hours in the morning during the month of August, but it seems that (at least according to Caroline) the class activities include watching movies, eating Skittles, playing with blocks, playing in a toy kitchen, etc. These teachers know what they're doing. :) Not only that, but we have heard from several parents that Katie's head teacher is "the best." We were a little concerned when we realized she was a bit older than most of the teachers at the kindy (sometimes older teachers can be more strict/harsh), but everyone we've talked to just raves about her. More reasons to praise!
Then today I learned yet another thing that makes me "heart" this teacher. She has set up a class notice board online, so that parents can stay informed about the class' happenings. I managed to actually log on (remember, folks, I'm doing this all in Chinese!) and was delighted to find that they had posted pictures of the first few days of class. Enjoy! (see if you can spot the redhead....)
More photos and video to come, plus a post of good news about Katie's school situation!
"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His loves endures forever."
I'll be honest...all of these changes and new ventures (particularly regarding the girls' school situations) have been a regularly source of anxiety for me over the past few months. I have had to be very diligent to battle fear and worry--the kind of worries that attack you when wake up in the middle of the night or that ambush you as soon as your alarm goes off in the morning, you know the kind. It has been a faith-builder for me...
All that to say, my heart is full of praise tonight as I am beginning to see God's goodness in answering so many prayers that have been offered over the past few months (mine and yours both, as I know many of you have been thinking of us).
Then came the first day of school. I'm actually quite thankful that I had class that day and had to miss both the drop-off and pick-up. I texted Adam during my class break to see how drop-off went. No problems! Lots of other kids crying but not the Bean! PTL! I was so happy to be home when she and Adam came through the door. She had had a great time--and had even gotten a sticker for her good behavior! Her teachers said she was great, she obeyed, she played well with the kids, everything. I quickly realized that these teachers are very smart--not only do the kids only have class for 2 hours in the morning during the month of August, but it seems that (at least according to Caroline) the class activities include watching movies, eating Skittles, playing with blocks, playing in a toy kitchen, etc. These teachers know what they're doing. :) Not only that, but we have heard from several parents that Katie's head teacher is "the best." We were a little concerned when we realized she was a bit older than most of the teachers at the kindy (sometimes older teachers can be more strict/harsh), but everyone we've talked to just raves about her. More reasons to praise!
Then today I learned yet another thing that makes me "heart" this teacher. She has set up a class notice board online, so that parents can stay informed about the class' happenings. I managed to actually log on (remember, folks, I'm doing this all in Chinese!) and was delighted to find that they had posted pictures of the first few days of class. Enjoy! (see if you can spot the redhead....)
More photos and video to come, plus a post of good news about Katie's school situation!
"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His loves endures forever."
She made it!
The long-awaited day of Grandma Sue's arrival has finally come!
(Today was also Katie's last day of kindergarten and was supposed to be celebrated by a graduation performance for all the parents, featuring all the dances the kids have been laboring over for the last 6 weeks. You may remember last year was the same deal...except that after all the weeks of blood, sweat, and tears, Katie got sick the day of the performance and couldn't attend! Well, unfortunately, yesterday afternoon we got a call from Katie's teacher who informed us that because a child in the class has come down with the chicken pox, parents would not be able to attend the performance. Instead, they had hired a professional videographer to come and then would be sending DVDs to all the parents. Does that logic seem strange to anyone besides me? Obviously, the sick kid should not attend, but why should all the parents also not be allowed to attend? A friend of mine helped shed a little light for me--basically, in this culture, adults are seen as the primary disease-carriers, not children. So, in order to protect the students, all the "disease-ridden" were barred from attending. Right... So unfortunately, no videos to post, but I did manage to get a few photos in when I picked Katie up from school.
Katie said she shed a few tears during the performance (she said all the girls were crying) and she even teared up a bit on the way home. I tried to encourage her that it's actually good to feel sad when something's ending--it means that it wasn't a terrible experience and that you really made meaningful relationships!
Thankfully, we had Grandma Sue's arrival to look forward to.....
There were some tense moments in those last few seconds of waiting...
She's here!!!!
Let the games begin....
(Today was also Katie's last day of kindergarten and was supposed to be celebrated by a graduation performance for all the parents, featuring all the dances the kids have been laboring over for the last 6 weeks. You may remember last year was the same deal...except that after all the weeks of blood, sweat, and tears, Katie got sick the day of the performance and couldn't attend! Well, unfortunately, yesterday afternoon we got a call from Katie's teacher who informed us that because a child in the class has come down with the chicken pox, parents would not be able to attend the performance. Instead, they had hired a professional videographer to come and then would be sending DVDs to all the parents. Does that logic seem strange to anyone besides me? Obviously, the sick kid should not attend, but why should all the parents also not be allowed to attend? A friend of mine helped shed a little light for me--basically, in this culture, adults are seen as the primary disease-carriers, not children. So, in order to protect the students, all the "disease-ridden" were barred from attending. Right... So unfortunately, no videos to post, but I did manage to get a few photos in when I picked Katie up from school.
Katie said she shed a few tears during the performance (she said all the girls were crying) and she even teared up a bit on the way home. I tried to encourage her that it's actually good to feel sad when something's ending--it means that it wasn't a terrible experience and that you really made meaningful relationships!
Thankfully, we had Grandma Sue's arrival to look forward to.....
There were some tense moments in those last few seconds of waiting...
She's here!!!!
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| Tears of joy on both sides |
Let the games begin....
Family time
Every week we try to spend focused time together as a family. In this crazy city life we live, we've found it essential to our sanity to have some scheduled "nothing on the schedule" nights. Sometimes this looks like just playing outside at our complex, other nights it looks like watching Cars as a family or playing Candyland (Caroline's current love).
Sometimes though, failed date nights can turn into amazing family nights, thanks to my husband's brilliance. Adam had planned to take me to a popular local spot to which I had never been. So when the babysitter called in sick, he said, "Let's just all go!" I'm so glad he said that and so glad we went, because it turned into one of the best nights ever. Videos to come.
Foreigner
Hardly a day goes by here without our hearing one particular word spoken about us at least once, often more. Sometimes it is whispered under the breath, other times it is shouted and accompanied by pointing finger. 外国人。Waiguoren. It literally means "outside country person." Foreigner. The word makes sense--we are, in fact, people who have come from a country outside of the one in which we live. But sometimes, depending on the day, it can sound more like, "Outsider." "Doesn't belong." "Not one of us." When spoken about us, it is often joined with the word 看, kan, look. As in, "Look, a foreigner!" as if we were animals in the zoo. Thankfully, because we live in a big city, most of the residents here are pretty used to foreigners and properly ignore us. But let's be honest, with kids as cute as ours, we're pretty hard to ignore! :) The worst times have been when we're in more touristy places where people not from our city are gathered...and they have cameras. It is a struggle for me to resist the urge to educate everyone in this country on the proper way to interact with those who are "different" from them.
There have been a few times when Katie has tearfully complained about how much she hates it when the younger kids at the kindergarten walk by in a line and she hears the sound of "Waiguoren" rippling through the crowd along with a row of pointing fingers (as if they haven't seen her every other day!). It's not meant to be mean or insulting; they're just honestly excited to see a foreigner! But people don't stop to think that we may actually be able to understand what they're saying or it may be the 50th time that we heard it that day. I've tried comforting Katie by pointing out how blessed she is to come from a country like America where we have the benefit of seeing God's amazing creativity in creating different kinds of people. I've encouraged her to try to stir up feelings of pity for them in her heart--how sad it is to grow up in a place where everyone has the same hair color as you and how she is a blessing to them by allowing them to see more of God's creativity that we take for granted coming from a place like America. I also just hug her and tell her, "I know, it's pretty annoying. But they don't know any better and they're meaning to hurt your feelings." I've told her that in some of my less sanctified moments, I've been tempted to respond to the sound of "Look, a foreigner!" with a snarky, "看中过人！Look, a Chinese person!" (Unfortunately, sarcasm doesn't translate very well here, and I pridefully haven't wanted to waste my clever comeback.)
With that as a little background, I wanted to share a sort of revelatory moment today, which by the grace of God, I pray will stick with me and from this point forward transform my heart's response when I encounter the label, "Foreigner."
Katie and I had ridden on my bike to the market down the street where I buy our butter. (I really wish I could take you shopping with me sometime, so you could see for yourself what a different world we live in...but that's another blog post). On our way home, we were peddling along and I heard someone on the sidewalk say to the person with them, "Look, foreigners." Feelings of annoyance instantly welled up within me. "Why do they care? Why does it matter?" I thought to myself. But suddenly, I was ambushed by a thought from Above, "Why are you so upset? You are aliens and strangers." (1 Peter 2:11) I suddenly realized that I do not have to receive these "kan, waiguoren" experiences as annoyances but rather as heaven-sent reminders of who I really am. These passersby are rightly signifying my true identity. Wherever I go in this world, I am a waiguoren, a foreigner. And what a blessing that is. This world is not my home. My citizenship is in heaven.
If you are a friend who is also living in a country different than that on your passport, rejoice in those moments of feeling like an outsider! Let us fight together to see that they are God's kind way of pulling back the veil and reminding us of where Home really is.
There have been a few times when Katie has tearfully complained about how much she hates it when the younger kids at the kindergarten walk by in a line and she hears the sound of "Waiguoren" rippling through the crowd along with a row of pointing fingers (as if they haven't seen her every other day!). It's not meant to be mean or insulting; they're just honestly excited to see a foreigner! But people don't stop to think that we may actually be able to understand what they're saying or it may be the 50th time that we heard it that day. I've tried comforting Katie by pointing out how blessed she is to come from a country like America where we have the benefit of seeing God's amazing creativity in creating different kinds of people. I've encouraged her to try to stir up feelings of pity for them in her heart--how sad it is to grow up in a place where everyone has the same hair color as you and how she is a blessing to them by allowing them to see more of God's creativity that we take for granted coming from a place like America. I also just hug her and tell her, "I know, it's pretty annoying. But they don't know any better and they're meaning to hurt your feelings." I've told her that in some of my less sanctified moments, I've been tempted to respond to the sound of "Look, a foreigner!" with a snarky, "看中过人！Look, a Chinese person!" (Unfortunately, sarcasm doesn't translate very well here, and I pridefully haven't wanted to waste my clever comeback.)
With that as a little background, I wanted to share a sort of revelatory moment today, which by the grace of God, I pray will stick with me and from this point forward transform my heart's response when I encounter the label, "Foreigner."
Katie and I had ridden on my bike to the market down the street where I buy our butter. (I really wish I could take you shopping with me sometime, so you could see for yourself what a different world we live in...but that's another blog post). On our way home, we were peddling along and I heard someone on the sidewalk say to the person with them, "Look, foreigners." Feelings of annoyance instantly welled up within me. "Why do they care? Why does it matter?" I thought to myself. But suddenly, I was ambushed by a thought from Above, "Why are you so upset? You are aliens and strangers." (1 Peter 2:11) I suddenly realized that I do not have to receive these "kan, waiguoren" experiences as annoyances but rather as heaven-sent reminders of who I really am. These passersby are rightly signifying my true identity. Wherever I go in this world, I am a waiguoren, a foreigner. And what a blessing that is. This world is not my home. My citizenship is in heaven.
If you are a friend who is also living in a country different than that on your passport, rejoice in those moments of feeling like an outsider! Let us fight together to see that they are God's kind way of pulling back the veil and reminding us of where Home really is.
Homeschool update
{So I started this post last November ( ! ) and am finally getting around to finishing it. This is for anyone who is interested in learning more of what education has looked like for Katie this year...and also for my own records!}
Katie's enrolled in a local kindergarten (Americans would call it pre-school, except that the last year of it, for 5-6 year olds is what we call kindergarten in the States, since Chinese primary schools begin with 1st grade). She spends the mornings there, comes home for lunch, and then during Caro's naptime we do some basic homeschooling. I had many friends tell me that kindergarten does not need to be an intense time of homeschooling, and I've taken that very seriously! I sometimes wonder if we're doing "enough" but then I have to remind myself that my child is in a full-blown second language immersion program half the day and doesn't need to be Tiger-mommed. We start off with a sentence or part of a sentence of copywork, typically from whatever passage of Scripture we are memorizing (this fall it's been Psalm 103). We then do a page or two out of Phonics Pathways, a lesson from Rod & Staff's Grade 1 curriculum. Depending on her attitude, that can take as little as 30 minutes or over an hour.
The best part by far though is what happens next and has always been one of my favorite parts of the day...read-aloud time with Katie. Ever since Katie stopped napping (which was at age 2.5!), I've tried to turn our afternoons into quiet rest time. Before Caroline came on the scene, Katie would spend an hour or so alone in her room, playing quietly while listening to an audiobook. This time did not come easily at first, but eventually she got used to it and it became a sorely missed time of day if she ever had to go without it! Once Caroline arrived and her afternoon nap became somewhat normal, the first hour of Caro's nap was Katie's room time, the second hour for a little phonics work followed by read-aloud time. Perhaps groomed by listening to audiobooks, Katie could've sat and listened to me read for hours. I loved this time alone with her (plus I loved reading all the Little House books and Boxcar Children books and Narnia books just as much as she did!)
For some reason since coming to China, Katie has never gotten over jetlag and continues to rise as early as 5:45am on some days but usually around 6:30am or so. Since I am not prepared to converse with anyone until 7am, she usually comes out and sits on the sofa next to me and listens to an audiobook while I finish my quiet time. I didn't know what I was going to do at first without the public library's awesome selection of audiobooks for kids, until I discovered Librivox.org. So far, Katie has listened to Peter Pan and Pollyanna. We also bought the mp3s for Susan Wise Bauer's Story of the World, Book 1 which she has loved.
Besides listening to these books, the "official" books we have read this fall as part of homeschooling are:
Katie's enrolled in a local kindergarten (Americans would call it pre-school, except that the last year of it, for 5-6 year olds is what we call kindergarten in the States, since Chinese primary schools begin with 1st grade). She spends the mornings there, comes home for lunch, and then during Caro's naptime we do some basic homeschooling. I had many friends tell me that kindergarten does not need to be an intense time of homeschooling, and I've taken that very seriously! I sometimes wonder if we're doing "enough" but then I have to remind myself that my child is in a full-blown second language immersion program half the day and doesn't need to be Tiger-mommed. We start off with a sentence or part of a sentence of copywork, typically from whatever passage of Scripture we are memorizing (this fall it's been Psalm 103). We then do a page or two out of Phonics Pathways, a lesson from Rod & Staff's Grade 1 curriculum. Depending on her attitude, that can take as little as 30 minutes or over an hour.
The best part by far though is what happens next and has always been one of my favorite parts of the day...read-aloud time with Katie. Ever since Katie stopped napping (which was at age 2.5!), I've tried to turn our afternoons into quiet rest time. Before Caroline came on the scene, Katie would spend an hour or so alone in her room, playing quietly while listening to an audiobook. This time did not come easily at first, but eventually she got used to it and it became a sorely missed time of day if she ever had to go without it! Once Caroline arrived and her afternoon nap became somewhat normal, the first hour of Caro's nap was Katie's room time, the second hour for a little phonics work followed by read-aloud time. Perhaps groomed by listening to audiobooks, Katie could've sat and listened to me read for hours. I loved this time alone with her (plus I loved reading all the Little House books and Boxcar Children books and Narnia books just as much as she did!)
For some reason since coming to China, Katie has never gotten over jetlag and continues to rise as early as 5:45am on some days but usually around 6:30am or so. Since I am not prepared to converse with anyone until 7am, she usually comes out and sits on the sofa next to me and listens to an audiobook while I finish my quiet time. I didn't know what I was going to do at first without the public library's awesome selection of audiobooks for kids, until I discovered Librivox.org. So far, Katie has listened to Peter Pan and Pollyanna. We also bought the mp3s for Susan Wise Bauer's Story of the World, Book 1 which she has loved.
Besides listening to these books, the "official" books we have read this fall as part of homeschooling are:
- Swiss Family Robinson- this book was a long one and a little too wordy for her age, but she was able to keep up amazingly well plus learn some good vocab along the way (and I did as well, I should add). This book provides great fodder for a unit study--we dabbled in pursuing some of these tangents, like keeping a list of all the animals mentioned and trying to figure out if the island where they were could be an actual place. Narration ala Charlotte Mason was really helpful in making sure that Katie was tracking with what was going on.
- Betsy-Tacy- this books is so, so sweet and wonderful. I discovered it on Ann Voskamp's book list. Once we read it, I couldn't believe I can't wait to check out the rest of the series.
- Black Beauty- I had never read this before and realized a little too late that it was probably mostly over Katie's head, but we pressed through and she amazingly was able to retell the basic storyline each day and hopefully has picked up
- The Magician's Nephew- this was so fun to read with her...she was SO into learning how things in Narnia began and about jumped out of her skin when we got to the bit about the lamppost. She's now listened to all the books in the Narnia series except for The Last Battle (which I'm saving to let her read on her own when she's old enough).
- The Wind in the Willows- why didn't anyone ever tell me what a wonderful book this is? I am in love! I got the idea to read it from a novel I discovered, The Pilgrim's Inn by Elizabeth Goudge.
- Little Men
- The Secret Garden
- A Little Princess
- The Little White Horse
- Stories from Grandma's Attic and More Stories from Grandma's Attic
- Elsie Dinsmore
Finally, a school!
A while back I posted a rant blogpost about the trouble we've had figuring out Katie's school situation for the coming year. I am happy to report the ordeal has finally come to a conclusion! After literally months of searching and waiting and asking, a school finally said they would be able to accept Katie...and they were quite happy to do so!
Katie will begin first grade at a local school at the end of August. She is the only foreign student at the school, but we have been very encouraged by the warm and friendly attitude that the school administration has shown towards her (especially as compared to our experiences in dialoguing with other schools).
[Classic example: One Saturday back in early June was the registration day for most primary schools, which meant that if you were wanting your child to attend a particular school, you needed to go to that school, get in line, wait, and in our case, not be entirely sure about what was going to be required of you when you got to the head of the line. For most local families, getting registered requires going to one school only. Adam, Katie, and our precious, faithful tutor planned to go to 3-4 different schools since we had been unable to get a straight answer from any of them. At the first 3 schools they visited, the registration was taking place outside. In the heat. And sometimes rain. Sounds like fun, right? Standing in line on a hot day with a bunch of 6 year olds who have nothing to do? Their experience at the last school they visited, the one where Katie will be going, was much different. Registration was taking place inside, in the air conditioning, and they had set up a tv with Tom and Jerry cartoons for the kids to watch while waiting. Later on, as Adam was relating to me the events of the day and giving me his opinions of the various schools, he said as he shared the story about the AC and Tom and Jerry, "Someone was thinking!" And that's always a good sign.]
Mercifully, it is a much closer school than the other options that we were left with. Plus, we've recently discovered a few other students in our complex who will also be attending this school in the fall, including some of Katie's current classmates, so she'll already know some folks there!
Some of you have inquired about our educational philosophy for raising children overseas. (insert sound of crickets chirping, because, to be honest, we really aren't entirely sure what we are doing!) Our modus operandi shares pretty much the same name as our blog--we're just taking things one step at a time. We feel like it's really important that she learns the language, for her own cultural and emotional and social adjustment. Can you imagine what it would be like to grow up in a place where you really never had any idea what was going on around you or where you couldn't really play with kids in your neighborhood because you couldn't understand what they were saying? Katie's already shown remarkable progress having been in kindergarten here for a year, affirming to us that there really is no substitute for a full-on, immersion situation. So, we're going to give it a go! Especially since attending local schools seems to be a fairly popular/common practice among the expat families we know, and so far with good result. At this point she'll be going 5 full days a week, doing all the same stuff her classmates are doing--same learning of characters and memorizing of ancient Chinese poems, same math work, etc. We'll see how it goes. Such a schedule won't leave a lot of time for homeschooling, so we're planning only to focus on reading/writing this year (using this curriculum which I'm really excited about). Realistically speaking, Katie will probably only attend a local school at most through 2nd grade (if things go well)--we just want to give her a good foundation in Chinese. I'm sort of sad when I think about having to set aside my desires for homeschooling for the time being (especially when I think that we could be using curriculum like this) and can sometimes be anxious about her falling behind her peers in the States. But then I have to remind myself that my child is becoming fluent in a second language...which is pretty stinkin' awesome. Plus, with baby coming in November, in addition to the normal craziness of our life here, Adam kindly and gently pointed out that, while I may be excited about the prospect of homeschooling, it may not really be the most reasonable option at this juncture. Point taken. :)
All that to say, please pray for Katie and for us. We really have no idea how this thing is going to go. Especially when it comes to how drastically different Chinese philosophy of education are from Western ideas (that's another blogpost). Pray that we will have a good relationship with her teacher--that she will be kind and discerning and gentle towards Katie but also will not overly coddle her or treat her differently to the point that it causes other problems. Pray that Katie will make good friends, that she will have a Hope-filled attitude and a persevering mentality, and that this will be a positive experience for her. Right now at home we're working on learning as many characters as we can so she'll be a little less behind when she starts. We'll keep you posted!
Oh, and Caroline will also be starting school next month...she'll be starting half days at the same kindergarten where Katie has been this year. Also, not entirely sure how this is going to go over--Caro is a pretty independent, highly opinionated child who doesn't seem to have a "mellow" button.
Katie will begin first grade at a local school at the end of August. She is the only foreign student at the school, but we have been very encouraged by the warm and friendly attitude that the school administration has shown towards her (especially as compared to our experiences in dialoguing with other schools).
[Classic example: One Saturday back in early June was the registration day for most primary schools, which meant that if you were wanting your child to attend a particular school, you needed to go to that school, get in line, wait, and in our case, not be entirely sure about what was going to be required of you when you got to the head of the line. For most local families, getting registered requires going to one school only. Adam, Katie, and our precious, faithful tutor planned to go to 3-4 different schools since we had been unable to get a straight answer from any of them. At the first 3 schools they visited, the registration was taking place outside. In the heat. And sometimes rain. Sounds like fun, right? Standing in line on a hot day with a bunch of 6 year olds who have nothing to do? Their experience at the last school they visited, the one where Katie will be going, was much different. Registration was taking place inside, in the air conditioning, and they had set up a tv with Tom and Jerry cartoons for the kids to watch while waiting. Later on, as Adam was relating to me the events of the day and giving me his opinions of the various schools, he said as he shared the story about the AC and Tom and Jerry, "Someone was thinking!" And that's always a good sign.]
Mercifully, it is a much closer school than the other options that we were left with. Plus, we've recently discovered a few other students in our complex who will also be attending this school in the fall, including some of Katie's current classmates, so she'll already know some folks there!
Some of you have inquired about our educational philosophy for raising children overseas. (insert sound of crickets chirping, because, to be honest, we really aren't entirely sure what we are doing!) Our modus operandi shares pretty much the same name as our blog--we're just taking things one step at a time. We feel like it's really important that she learns the language, for her own cultural and emotional and social adjustment. Can you imagine what it would be like to grow up in a place where you really never had any idea what was going on around you or where you couldn't really play with kids in your neighborhood because you couldn't understand what they were saying? Katie's already shown remarkable progress having been in kindergarten here for a year, affirming to us that there really is no substitute for a full-on, immersion situation. So, we're going to give it a go! Especially since attending local schools seems to be a fairly popular/common practice among the expat families we know, and so far with good result. At this point she'll be going 5 full days a week, doing all the same stuff her classmates are doing--same learning of characters and memorizing of ancient Chinese poems, same math work, etc. We'll see how it goes. Such a schedule won't leave a lot of time for homeschooling, so we're planning only to focus on reading/writing this year (using this curriculum which I'm really excited about). Realistically speaking, Katie will probably only attend a local school at most through 2nd grade (if things go well)--we just want to give her a good foundation in Chinese. I'm sort of sad when I think about having to set aside my desires for homeschooling for the time being (especially when I think that we could be using curriculum like this) and can sometimes be anxious about her falling behind her peers in the States. But then I have to remind myself that my child is becoming fluent in a second language...which is pretty stinkin' awesome. Plus, with baby coming in November, in addition to the normal craziness of our life here, Adam kindly and gently pointed out that, while I may be excited about the prospect of homeschooling, it may not really be the most reasonable option at this juncture. Point taken. :)
All that to say, please pray for Katie and for us. We really have no idea how this thing is going to go. Especially when it comes to how drastically different Chinese philosophy of education are from Western ideas (that's another blogpost). Pray that we will have a good relationship with her teacher--that she will be kind and discerning and gentle towards Katie but also will not overly coddle her or treat her differently to the point that it causes other problems. Pray that Katie will make good friends, that she will have a Hope-filled attitude and a persevering mentality, and that this will be a positive experience for her. Right now at home we're working on learning as many characters as we can so she'll be a little less behind when she starts. We'll keep you posted!
Oh, and Caroline will also be starting school next month...she'll be starting half days at the same kindergarten where Katie has been this year. Also, not entirely sure how this is going to go over--Caro is a pretty independent, highly opinionated child who doesn't seem to have a "mellow" button.
School pictures, Chinese-style
We're alive, I promise! "Summer time" has been busy so far, mostly because our summer break hasn't really started yet! Adam just finished up classes last week, and Katie's will wrap up next Friday (also the same day Grandma Sue arrives!!!) There will be much rejoicing on that day, let me tell you, not only because we haven't seen any family members in about a year and a half, but also because the dreaded dance practices for Katie's kindergarten graduation performance will finally be over! Stay tuned for photos and videos of that coming in a couple weeks.
Until then, I just had to share some of Katie's school photos. Some of you may remember last year's school pictures. This year's were pretty much the same deal since Katie was basically repeating the same grade over again...so we have another graduation photo!
This year, however, we also got a second set of school photos to choose from. One day, when I asked Katie how school was as we were walking home, she pulled a Rapunzel and replied, "Best. Day. Ever!" Well, that was certainly not the normal response I get when I ask that question. From what I was able to gather, a special photographer had come to school that day, along with a truckload of different costumes, and the kids basically got to dress up all day and have their pictures taken. Things became a little clearer when we got the pictures back a few weeks later.
Are those precious or what?! We have one photogentic girl...although I'm a little perturbed that they airbrushed out most of her freckles. I love her freckles and am quick to tell those who makes disparaging remarks about them (because they do)(sigh) that "In America, freckles are considered a mark of great beauty."
But just in case you thought the pictures couldn't get any better, they do. And weirder too. These next ones were Katie's faves...do you wonder why?
Adam was the one who actually ordered the photos. After seeing all the proofs (see below), I think you'll agree with me that he did a pretty good job picking out the best ones (he had, of course, to get some of the Snow White ones to placate Katie).
Which of these would you have chosen?
I think the side-ponytail and fake frames at the beach ones are the best (did you catch the Statue of Liberty in the background?). But then again, you also gotta love the barefoot flower princess in the ghetto ones (2nd column). Of course, how could you not love the teased hair Glamour Shots of the last column? My only concern is that we're going to see some of these pictures again some day up on a billboard because some company has hijacked the photos of the cute foreign kid to promote their product (it's happened to people we know here, although I'm not sure what kind of product any of these pictures would be selling!).
Ah, life is never boring in these parts....
Dirty Floors
Our old apartment in Louisville was carpeted (thankfully with new carpet when we moved in because the former tenants had trashed the place). I know that carpet is not supposed to be the most sanitary stuff in the world, but in my opinion, dirt and grime you can't see and feel is WAY better than dirt and grime you can. Who's with me?
Which brings me to China...land of the floors that can never get clean, regardless of the fact that no one wears shoes in the house or that you sweep/mop thousands of times per week.
Part of the problem is that I've recently discovered that our house helper only uses water to clean the floor and has yet to learn the art of mopping in an orderly pattern so as not to leave streaks (true for windows too). This is my bad in not addressing it--I'm still trying to figure out how to be an employer. Another part of the problem may be that our house helper broke our vacuum while we were in Thailand and I've yet to fix it or replace it. Mostly because I've been dreaming of this:
Which brings me to China...land of the floors that can never get clean, regardless of the fact that no one wears shoes in the house or that you sweep/mop thousands of times per week.
Part of the problem is that I've recently discovered that our house helper only uses water to clean the floor and has yet to learn the art of mopping in an orderly pattern so as not to leave streaks (true for windows too). This is my bad in not addressing it--I'm still trying to figure out how to be an employer. Another part of the problem may be that our house helper broke our vacuum while we were in Thailand and I've yet to fix it or replace it. Mostly because I've been dreaming of this:
At only $139USD, it seems like it would be the answer to all my problems. Unfortunately, these kinds of vacuums are not really very popular over here and thus not readily available. I was even skeptical about being about to find one at all...until today. I found one. At a mere 2400 RMB, which translates to about $400USD. What??????
Ukrops in China
No, Dot's Bakery hasn't set up shop (unfortunately), but I did (quite by accident) yesterday make a chicken salad that tasted almost exactly like Ukrops To-Die-For Chicken Salad. Now if only I could get some White House Rolls....
(Non-Richmonders will be totally confused by this post, but for those of you for whom this isn't meaningless...I know you understand.)
The secret? Absolute simplicty. I boiled a couple of chicken breasts and chopped them up so finely they were almost a paste. Added some mayo (Chinese mayo at that!), 1/4 cup whipping cream (whipped to soft peaks), finely chopped celery, some salt and pepper. And that's it. Ukrops magic, right in your own kitchen.
After hitting the jackpot with the chicken salad, I began cruising the web for other Ukrops recipes. I didn't find much (the real recipes must be carefully guarded secrets, unless you own the Celebrating Ukrops with Great Food, which sells for a mere $62.86 online...what?! Anyone know how to get it for cheaper?) I did come upon this post that had some good ideas for add-ins to the chicken salad. Enjoy!
(Non-Richmonders will be totally confused by this post, but for those of you for whom this isn't meaningless...I know you understand.)
The secret? Absolute simplicty. I boiled a couple of chicken breasts and chopped them up so finely they were almost a paste. Added some mayo (Chinese mayo at that!), 1/4 cup whipping cream (whipped to soft peaks), finely chopped celery, some salt and pepper. And that's it. Ukrops magic, right in your own kitchen.
After hitting the jackpot with the chicken salad, I began cruising the web for other Ukrops recipes. I didn't find much (the real recipes must be carefully guarded secrets, unless you own the Celebrating Ukrops with Great Food, which sells for a mere $62.86 online...what?! Anyone know how to get it for cheaper?) I did come upon this post that had some good ideas for add-ins to the chicken salad. Enjoy!
Good report!
I had my first OB appointment on Tuesday....everything looks good! Praise God!
Official stats:
Length: 7.5 cm long from rump to head
Estimated age: 13 weeks, 5 days
Due Date: November 15 (my mom's bday!)
The Lord is good. I am so thankful for technology that allows us to meet these precious ones so early.
Official stats:
Length: 7.5 cm long from rump to head
Estimated age: 13 weeks, 5 days
Due Date: November 15 (my mom's bday!)
The Lord is good. I am so thankful for technology that allows us to meet these precious ones so early.
Updated:
Even as I typed out my good news to publish to all the world, the keen awareness of the hard news received by so many friends precious to me was close at hand. Dear friends who, despite all efforts and time and money and prayers and medical technology, receive (again) the word that they have not conceived a child. Other friends who daily bear the sadness of their child's death. I can't help but wonder--why them? Why not me? Why do I get good news while they get hard news? The answers belong to the unfathomable, unsearchable mind of God. My friends' faith in the midst of grief spur me on to trust Him more, in the midst of my little day-to-day trials which seem so petty compared to their great ones. Their testimonies remind me to treasure every good gift He has given and not to dishonor His goodness by choosing to complain. When questions like these are close, William Cowper's truth-filled words remind and comfort. I've also been deeply touched by this blog of a friend of a friend.
Empty Chairs
I saw this photo gallery online last fall and meant to post it then. It presents a powerful visual portrayal of the realities described in the article I linked to at the end of this post.
Playground Education
We’ve been spending a lot more time outside lately (hooray!) and I feel like I am getting a cultural education about playground ethics.
One day, for example, we went to the playground in our complex, and Katie saw some of her kindergarten classmates (two girls and a boy). They decided to have a race. Now, what happens next I didn’t actually witness, but this is what I think happened. During one of the races, Katie was actually beating the boy, and so he nudged/pushed her, and she fell down pretty hard (hit both sides of her head, had a massive ugly goose egg right above her eye, and of course, cried hysterically, part pain, part embarrassment). This situation could’ve happened anywhere in the world; kids are kids. What happened next though is the part that interests me. I’m not sure if the boy’s parents were there or not, but I think one of the other kid’s parents attempted to confront him about what he did--to no avail. There was never any apology from the boy or acknowledgement that he had done anything wrong. No one (except for me, of course) stepped forward to comfort Katie or ask if she was okay. They all just kind of seemed to ignore that it happened at all.
Because I’ve never parented school-aged kids in America, it’s hard for me to know how much of what happened says something about Chinese culture or whether this kind of scene could just as likely have occurred in the States. Did no one say anything because they felt that saying sometime would've caused Katie to lose more face? Did the boy not apologize because it would've caused him to lose face? I don't know.
I imagine that it’s possible that the same kind of thing could've happened in the States, but I also feel that, even among non-Christian parents in American, there is an agreement about certain playground rules--saying sorry, asking people if they're okay, etc. Any thoughts from folks back in the States or from those raising kids here in the East?
Similarly, another day we were at the playground (which, by the way, has only two swings for a complex that has literally hundreds of children), Katie was using one swing, and Caroline was (impatiently) waiting for her to get off so she could have a turn. Right as Katie got off the swing, a boy about 4 years old swooped in and got on. Caroline had clearly been waiting to get on the swing, so I gently confronted the boy about it. I said, “I’m sorry, but she has been waiting. It is her turn.” He just stared at me and continued to swing. It was not a language problem. I had said it somewhat loudly, so that the other people on the playground would hear me, hoping to either shame him into doing the right thing or hoping whatever adult with supervising him would intervene. Neither happened, so I felt compelled to provide some moral instruction. I told him, “You are not being very friendly or polite.” He continued to swing. I was not going to give up. I continued to hold Caroline (who, of course, was crying) and wait right beside the swing. A battle of the wills ensued. Finally, after 4 minutes (which to Caroline felt like an eternity), he got bored and got off. In the meantime, Caroline and I had a good conversation about how the boy probably did not know Jesus and so did not know how to be kind to other children. We talked about how we need to forgive him and pray for him (I said it all in Chinese in hopes of continuing his education).
Have I just been spoiled in that most of my children’s playmates up to this point have come from Christian homes or at least homes where the parents consider moral instruction to be an important part of their job? I'm interested in learning more about what kind (if any) moral instruction/character-training happens in Chinese homes.
I’m think part of my recent sensitivity about these events has to do with coming to grips with the fact that my children are going to get hurt by other kids (and let’s be honest, they’re going to hurt other kids too, it goes both ways). My heart has broken a couple of times when I’ve watched as Katie spotted some classmates outside. Her face has lit up as she waves and says hello to them. Then I watch as her face falls when they look at her and completely ignore her. It scares me to think that I won’t be able to protect her if she goes full-time to a Chines primary school in the fall. Ultimately it comes down to trust—do I trust that God is sovereign over the things that happen to my child and is able to redeem them for good?
There's a really good chapter in that book Sacred Parenting about this very thing. The chapter is called Vicious Vulnerability: How parenting confronts cowardice and builds courage. I'll admit it—this is hard for me. And especially in parenting overseas where the stakes seem higher somehow. Where is the line between being wisely cautious and protective and being fearful and selfish? I'm open for answers, people!
One last story from the playground. This one did not involve by my children, but still broke my heart as if it had. The primary school in our neighborhood had just let out, and one the far end of the playground I saw some boys (looked about 5th/6th grade) playing together. I slowly realized that they weren't all really playing together--4 of them had taken the coat of another boy who was trying in vain to get it back as they played a game of "keep away." I tried to figure out the spirit of the game--was it just in good fun or was this a bullying type of situation? The mama bear in me wanted to fly over there and lay into the boys who were taking the coat. While that might have solved the short-term problem, I realized that the boy being picked on probably would not really appreciate the shame of being "rescued" by some foreign chick with bad Chinese. So I just watched from afar and prayed. The boy being picked on handled it well, I think. It eventually dwindled down to just him versus two boys and he was able to finally snatch the coat away when one of them made a bad toss. I tend to think that it was a bullying type scene because the 4 boys were dressed in more expensive looking clothes and seemed to all live in our complex (which is a higher end place). The boy whose coat had been stolen look a little more dishevelled and left our complex after the scene, which I assume meant he didn't live here. I felt a very strong urge to pray for this young man--that God would protect him and bring him to Himself, that He would heal any heart wounds caused by classmates and would make him a strong but tender man of God one day.
Pregnant in China, Part 3
I got glared at by an old woman at the bus stop the other day. I’m pretty sure she hated me because I had two kids AND was pregnant. Apparently (and I’m not making this up) some people here think that every country has a one-child policy. So, to the woman at the bus stop (who I'm guessing was one of these misinformed people), a person like me (with 3 kids) is either completely irresponsible or is having children as some form of political protest. (Neither of which is true in my case, of course.)
I’ve been asked before by taxi drivers how much the fine was in America that I had to pay for having Caroline. The first time this happened I thought the driver was kidding, but he was being dead serious. So I answered straightforwardly—no fine at all, people in America can have as many kids as they want. He was amazed.
For a hilarious read on having large families in this country, check out this blog. “Lrge” in this country is having a family of 4 (not counting the grandparents). What would they think of the Duggars??!!
I’ve been asked before by taxi drivers how much the fine was in America that I had to pay for having Caroline. The first time this happened I thought the driver was kidding, but he was being dead serious. So I answered straightforwardly—no fine at all, people in America can have as many kids as they want. He was amazed.
For a hilarious read on having large families in this country, check out this blog. “Lrge” in this country is having a family of 4 (not counting the grandparents). What would they think of the Duggars??!!
Noah's Ark, Chinese-style
Katie had to memorize a story in Chinese this past week because her kindergarten class was having some sort of competition. First step, pick a story (which was a lot harder than it sounds because our home is not exactly overflowing with one minute long Chinese children's books!). Thankfully, two days before the due date, I remembered that our house helper had given the girls a Noah's Ark book for Christmas that summarized the story in about one paragraph. Katie has always had a great memory, but to be honest I wasn't sure how this was going to go. By the morning of the competition, however, that child knew that story and was even able to tell it with perfect story-telling inflection! We are so proud of her! And have I mentioned that she's had to translate for me three different times lately when I didn't know what someone was saying? I don't know whether to be jealous or just thankful. :)
Pregnant in China, Part 2
I shared in the last post how pregnancy is sometimes viewed as a sickness in this country. I’m prepared for this to become somewhat annoying as more and more people realize I am pregnant and then feel the need to tell me what to do/not to do (as they already do about so many things: "You need to wear more clothes" or "Your child shouldn't play with that stick." Rebuke is their culture's love language.) I'm bracing myself for when I return to the gym after my nausea/fatigue subsides. I’m fully expecting the gym people to tell me that I’m not allowed to do certain things (when I know full well that, in the States, it’s fully acceptable to do them). I’ve already planned on pointing out that this is my 3rd child and I did the same exercises with my first two with no problems. Or I may mention that my OB in the States ran a half marathon when she was pregnant!
I won’t mention that it was even more impossible to get a cab on the way home, and the girls and I ended up walking the whole way back home in the rain (because I had forgotten my bus card). Awesome.
So there are some annoyances, but being pregnant in this culture can also work to my advantage. Pregnant women always get a seat on the bus or on the subway. My friend Mel tells a hilarious story of one time she was on the bus. A 20-something girl was sitting in the yellow seat (which is to be relinquished to anyone old, carrying small children, disabled, or pregnant should they get on the bus). A decrepit old lady gets on, and the bus driver uses the intercom to remind the people sitting in the yellow seats to get up and give a seat to the lady. The 20-something girl hears the announcement but continues to sit in the seat. Another passenger tells her to get up for the old woman, but the girl responds, "I'm pregnant" (which clearly the other passenger should've known since she was wearing an anti-radiation apron). If the girl had been 38 weeks pregnant and about to burst, that would be one thing. But my friend reports that the girl was not showing at all and so was in no way being physically strained by the load she was bearing. No questions were asked though and the old lady had to stand. Classic.
I feel the need to confess that I pulled the pregnant card a few weeks ago. It was while Adam was in Hong Kong. Cooking was still non-existent in my life then, and so before he left, Adam had helped me think up a game plan as to how I was going to feed the children each night of the week (which meant helping me decide which restaurant we were going to go to or order from). Friday night had been allotted as “Eat at Subway Night” which was going to be a bit of an expedition considering the closest Subway is about 2 km away from our place and would require a bus or cab ride. Well, Friday night came and, wouldn’t you know, it was raining. The one night we were going to an attempt an adventure and there’s rain. Not to be deterred from “The Plan,” I cheered myself on and said, “Okay, we’ll just get a cab,” forgetting that getting a cab during rush hour, let alone in the rain, is next to impossible in this city. We waited for about 10 minutes—both girls had umbrellas (3 year olds with umbrellas is never a good idea) and I’m waiting on the street in the rain trying both to stand out in the street far enough so I can spot a cab coming before other people but yet simultaneously keep my children from getting hit by various modes of transportation. Suddenly a cab appears right beside me! Victory! But before I realized what was happening, a girl walks up to it, ready to steal it out from under me. “No way, lady,” I thought to myself, not this time. I put on my bold, direct American self and said to the girl, “I’m sorry, but I’m pregnant and have two small children. This cab is mine,” and shoved my girls into the back seat. Score.
On being pregnant in China
I'm thinking of beginning a series of posts about this topic. There is SO much I could write about!
Sometimes, in a big city like the one we live in, you can trick yourself into thinking that Western and Eastern thinking are becoming more and more similar due to globalization. Until you start talking about pregnancy. Boy, are you reminded quickly--yup, still completely different cultures!
In some ways pregnancy is treated like a sickness here. In part because of the one-child policy, people are super-protective/paranoid about their pregnancies....this is their one shot! Consequently, pregnant women are often seen sporting these oh-so-stylish anti-radiation aprons (because apparently there is so much loose radiation floating around from computers and cell phones that it could damage the baby). The best part about these aprons is that oftentimes it's the only way you know that a woman is pregnant--think about how tiny most Asian women are and for most of them here it is their first/only pregnancy so they won't really look very pregnant until the very end! I think sometimes women here just wear them so that people will know they are pregnant and they can score seats on public transport.
There are also all kinds of recommendations about what you should and should not eat (dates and brown sugar, thumbs up; mutton, not so much). This is a fascinating read about how women during pregnancy have an imbalance of yin/yang and therefore need to eat more yin foods lest they experience too much internal heating (which can cause symptoms like palpitations and constipation). For me, I'm just trying to eat whatever makes me not feel like throwing up!
It's been interesting going through the first trimester yucks over on this side of the ocean. With my first two pregnancies, I had pretty much figured out what things helped me cope with the nausea (with Katie I ate a handful of ginger snaps and drank a ginger ale before I even got out of bed, with Caroline I ate sour Icebreakers like there was no tomorrow). It's been hard with my stand-bys not being readily available. But in some ways this pregnancy's been altogether different from the other two (maybe an indication that it's a boy?!) I've had much stronger cravings for particular foods. The first few weeks I had strong cravings for random Chinese foods. For example, one week I pretty much survived on these baby breakfast baozi (which thankfully there was a man with a cart who sold them next to the subway so I could always grab some on my way to class). The week after that it was you tiao (again, thankful that my baozi man also sold these). The next week I lived on rice zhou (which is pretty much rice cooked in a ton of water for a long, long time until it turns into gruel-sounds appetizing, right?) It's standard Chinese breakfast/beverage and I felt pretty 厉害(lihai, which can mean talented) for making it myself. After that, though, my Chinese cravings solidly ended, and my best meal every day for about 2-3 weeks became a 3号套餐，不要咖啡，要惩治 (that’s a #3 meal—sausage egg mcmuffin and hashbrowns, with no coffee, and an orange juice). Thankfully there's a McDonald's right next to my school. Survival mode, folks, survival mode.
More to come in the world of being pregnant in China. If you have any questions you're particularly interested in hearing answered, leave a comment and I'll do my best to find out!
Sometimes, in a big city like the one we live in, you can trick yourself into thinking that Western and Eastern thinking are becoming more and more similar due to globalization. Until you start talking about pregnancy. Boy, are you reminded quickly--yup, still completely different cultures!
There are also all kinds of recommendations about what you should and should not eat (dates and brown sugar, thumbs up; mutton, not so much). This is a fascinating read about how women during pregnancy have an imbalance of yin/yang and therefore need to eat more yin foods lest they experience too much internal heating (which can cause symptoms like palpitations and constipation). For me, I'm just trying to eat whatever makes me not feel like throwing up!
It's been interesting going through the first trimester yucks over on this side of the ocean. With my first two pregnancies, I had pretty much figured out what things helped me cope with the nausea (with Katie I ate a handful of ginger snaps and drank a ginger ale before I even got out of bed, with Caroline I ate sour Icebreakers like there was no tomorrow). It's been hard with my stand-bys not being readily available. But in some ways this pregnancy's been altogether different from the other two (maybe an indication that it's a boy?!) I've had much stronger cravings for particular foods. The first few weeks I had strong cravings for random Chinese foods. For example, one week I pretty much survived on these baby breakfast baozi (which thankfully there was a man with a cart who sold them next to the subway so I could always grab some on my way to class). The week after that it was you tiao (again, thankful that my baozi man also sold these). The next week I lived on rice zhou (which is pretty much rice cooked in a ton of water for a long, long time until it turns into gruel-sounds appetizing, right?) It's standard Chinese breakfast/beverage and I felt pretty 厉害(lihai, which can mean talented) for making it myself. After that, though, my Chinese cravings solidly ended, and my best meal every day for about 2-3 weeks became a 3号套餐，不要咖啡，要惩治 (that’s a #3 meal—sausage egg mcmuffin and hashbrowns, with no coffee, and an orange juice). Thankfully there's a McDonald's right next to my school. Survival mode, folks, survival mode.
More to come in the world of being pregnant in China. If you have any questions you're particularly interested in hearing answered, leave a comment and I'll do my best to find out!
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