Float is an interesting term. I have only ever heard it mentioned by Speedygeoff and ERF when its meaning is linked to running. 'Float' is what you do somewhere in an interval set, it's like a recovery, you're not really going hard but you have just gone hard and you are about to go hard again, and it's not slow, it doesn't quite allow your breath to return to normal or your heart rate to drop. There is no aim in the float but to make best of your recovery time while floating so you can increase your speed when that next blasted marker comes up.
It has been a VERY long time since I have done one of those sessions.
Ironically enough, I would use the term 'float' to describe where I am at the moment. Everyone around me is doing that intense run 100 meters ahead or so, they are very experienced and much quicker and more alert at what they do than I am, but I'm not panicked, I'm accepting where I am and am sort of content, even though I know that darn marker is approaching to when I have to sprint again.
Like a cold dark evening on Dickson oval where the runners in the group are well ahead and well behind, and I feel I belong to neither, I am also there in reality. At the moment I feel strangely disconnected to situations and people, like they are over the other side of the oval perhaps even playing soccer, I'm not really feeling much connection to anyone.
I know that where I am no one can do what I am doing but me, and no one can do it for me. It's a strange sense of responsibility tinged with urgency, but I'm not feeling it.
Perhaps this is a sense of being burned out, and turning to automatic pilot.
Somewhere in my mind I curiously heard another work colleague speak about me today. She said to another that my optimism drives her crazy sometimes, and that I still have that new tinge where I still care about the work that I do. I don't remember being optimistic, so I am still wondering where this came from.
However my response to someone giving me a new pile of work to do on top of everything else was 'yeah, I'll get through it.' I'm not quite sure where this came from. Surely accepting more work is on par with doing something stupid like smoking at the moment. But hey, someone's got to do it. Might as well be me.
I'm not running anyway, so it doesn't matter.
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming. It'll be over soon.
3 comments:
Just keep your head above the water in all your pursuits.
:-)
We used to call it "feeling zapped out". Too much coffee will cause it; and/or too little sleep. Or just plain stress.
Someone's got to smoke?
The world will unfold as it should once you're back running again Aki.
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