i have been going to god much, much more than my norm this month. i have been busier than ever but have still had the inkling to chat with the big man upstairs at the drop of a hat.
i do not state that claim to be boastful about my uber-like christian behavior. actually, it's a declaration of the opposite!
last weekend, a group of our friends headed off to atlanta for a fun overnight with the kiddos. our party of 27 (yes, 27) headed south for a disney show and jammed a 24-hour vacay with an aquarium visit, a greasy goodness lunch at the varsity, dips in the hotel's icky indoor pool, etc. anywho, the anticipation of getting all of the kiddos together on a little pre-xmas trip couldn't have been bottled up if we had tried to. tully, is a prime example.
as soon as the kiddos popped out of bed, we were getting the car packed and throwing on shoes with our pj's to hit the road. we had not even pulled out of the neighborhood, though, when we heard THE dreaded question "are we there yet?"
omg. i die. i remember thinking that i was not clark griswald and that this was no Christmas Vacation sequel. did my precious son really ask a question so NOT precious AND annoying????
and that, my friends, is exactly what he did over and over and over again. ben and i lost count as to how many times those words were said. we debated passing him off to another car but decided that might be looked down upon. quiet mouse didn't work either, so we were just caught like a toot in a space suit.
tully asked the question a bazillion times. he had to have! the minute i thought he had stopped, he would ask again. i thought this child doesn't understand a)how unnerving he was being and b)how he just needed to sit there, watch his show, and just enjoy the ride.
well, well, well.....perhaps i am preaching to the choir?
i have been going to god around the clock with "annoying" questions my own dern self. some questions are big, some questions are small. to god, however, they are all just questions. he is looking down at our road map called life thinking that if i just stick to my god-given path that it will lead me to the next spot eventually.
to god, i likely sound like "are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet?" how embarrassing and humbling is that!
i know that god loves us just like we love our little ones. i also have to think that just when we think our precious sons and daughters can't keep asking the same questions time and time again, god feels the same about our inquiries and requests.
sometimes he answers like a clinging cymbal. other times it is to wait. at times, he might even give us a "heck no". that is a different post in and of itself. my prayer for MYSELF leading through the holiday season is that i trust he will give me an answer....i just don't want to bother him with that same question over and over in the process.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
christmas spirit...bah humbug...
the shopping, the scheduling, the last-minute purchases, the balancing act of family dynamics, the scurrying about, the holiday break from school (the NON break from the twins), etc......these are all of the thoughts popping up in my head as the christmas countdown begins.
it's so easy, isn't it? getting caught up in what christmas is NOT about.
i try every year. i truly make a valiant effort to not be swept up in the frenzy, but somehow it happens. as the turkey is ditched into the trash, i try to make a mental note to keep calm and carry on as this holiday season unfolds. i repeat a mantra that "it's not about the gifts. it's not about having the perfectly-trimmed tree. it's not about having the house deemed southern-living perfect. it's not about the expensive holiday attire for the twins that can only be worn 1 out of the 12 months of the year....." however, the more effort that is put into these repetitious recitings, the further my apple falls from the godly christmas tree.
this year, two of my closest and dearest friends and i decided to do an advent bible study at church. meeting only 4 times (on the December Sundays for a mere hour), we thought "hey, we can do this". while i walk in each and every time a little un-holy and just plain tired to be quite honest, it is the one mere hour where i feel at peace, far away from the roller coaster called christmas. now, i love the roller coaster and do take part in each and every loop and turn of the ride. however, the stalling moment this bible study has given me during the month of december has been an intermittant blessing.
while i might be making mental gift notes and crossing holiday to-do's from my list, there is always a wise and grounded soul that tells a story or relishes a bit of advice or wisdom upon our little, humble group....and when that golden nugget of information is said, a deafening silence falls on our class. i never know who is going to say "it". i never know what the tale will be. i do, however, listen and enjoy every moment. i always feel like when an older soul is sharing a story, i will somehow be better for listening.
to repeat each profound story or every piece of knowledge would take up too much of your precious holiday downtime (ha, as if there were any). i will tell you, though, there is a common theme throughout them all. god....is.....present....and...ALIVE! if we are sad, he is there to comfort. if we are happy, he is leaping with joy alongside us. if we are confused, he is there to help us make our pros vs cons list. if we are worrying, he is ready to walk with us down whichever path we think will lead us to stability.
i don't think it is a coincidence that he is here with us during this month in more ways than an any other. now, i know he is with us ALL the time. what i mean is to say that the days leading up to his son's birth are filled with an eery presence. he doesn't want to miss a thing leading up to the BIG day. amidst all the crazy, that is one simple fact that doesn't take a great deal of slowing down to absorb. after all, who has the time?
it's so easy, isn't it? getting caught up in what christmas is NOT about.
i try every year. i truly make a valiant effort to not be swept up in the frenzy, but somehow it happens. as the turkey is ditched into the trash, i try to make a mental note to keep calm and carry on as this holiday season unfolds. i repeat a mantra that "it's not about the gifts. it's not about having the perfectly-trimmed tree. it's not about having the house deemed southern-living perfect. it's not about the expensive holiday attire for the twins that can only be worn 1 out of the 12 months of the year....." however, the more effort that is put into these repetitious recitings, the further my apple falls from the godly christmas tree.
this year, two of my closest and dearest friends and i decided to do an advent bible study at church. meeting only 4 times (on the December Sundays for a mere hour), we thought "hey, we can do this". while i walk in each and every time a little un-holy and just plain tired to be quite honest, it is the one mere hour where i feel at peace, far away from the roller coaster called christmas. now, i love the roller coaster and do take part in each and every loop and turn of the ride. however, the stalling moment this bible study has given me during the month of december has been an intermittant blessing.
while i might be making mental gift notes and crossing holiday to-do's from my list, there is always a wise and grounded soul that tells a story or relishes a bit of advice or wisdom upon our little, humble group....and when that golden nugget of information is said, a deafening silence falls on our class. i never know who is going to say "it". i never know what the tale will be. i do, however, listen and enjoy every moment. i always feel like when an older soul is sharing a story, i will somehow be better for listening.
to repeat each profound story or every piece of knowledge would take up too much of your precious holiday downtime (ha, as if there were any). i will tell you, though, there is a common theme throughout them all. god....is.....present....and...ALIVE! if we are sad, he is there to comfort. if we are happy, he is leaping with joy alongside us. if we are confused, he is there to help us make our pros vs cons list. if we are worrying, he is ready to walk with us down whichever path we think will lead us to stability.
i don't think it is a coincidence that he is here with us during this month in more ways than an any other. now, i know he is with us ALL the time. what i mean is to say that the days leading up to his son's birth are filled with an eery presence. he doesn't want to miss a thing leading up to the BIG day. amidst all the crazy, that is one simple fact that doesn't take a great deal of slowing down to absorb. after all, who has the time?
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
recipe for disaster...
when i am stressed, i bake. ooey gooey treats....yummy bread....chocolate infused confections....if it is warm and soothing to the soul, i bake it. while low fat vegetable bakes and fruit dishes don't top the list, i will cook just about anything that i can in order to bring my stress level down from a 10 to about a 2.
looking back over the months that have passed since my last entry, i realize i have been donning an apron and bakin' quite a bit. while that mental picture might suggest a murfreesboro-bred paula deen, let me be honest and say that is simply not the case. this girl has been a crazy baker because she just be crazy...
2013 has been a doozie. not "bad" by any means, just a heck of a year. from listing our home to selling it, to moving in with the parentals (cue the laughter) to moving back out, our lives have been a full speed green light with no stop or yield signs along the way. building our home was the icing on our messy heap of a cake!
this year has been full of newness and never-ventured-on paths. for those close souls that truly know me, these treks are so NOT me. i love an under the radar lifestyle and calm life and thrive on the principal that boring is good. living surrounded by the love that our dear, close friends and families give us and enjoying our children is what makes me breathe.
in the course of the weeks turned into months of helter-skelter, i would just start grabbing at stuff in the pantry (be it in our old house, parents' house and already in our new house) and would get to whipping something up in the kitchen. i would totally stick to old faithfuls for the builders or crews working on the house in order not to kill them:) but for people like ben who are stuck with me for the time being, i would try out a new dish every now and again. on a sidenote, just because it is pinned on pinterest does not make it good....moving on....
while my heart would be racing and my mind stayed cluttered with mindless thoughts, i would often have to pull back out a recipe card or a cook book to remember how to make things that i used to recite by heart. it was weird having to go back and keep myself and my ingredients in check. thankfully, once i would do so i would almost always produce exactly what it was that i was after.
if i had gone to god to keep my priorities and daily living "in check" in the same manner, i guarantee you i would not have been nearly as disheveled and haphazard as i have been. if i had gone to the one that created me and knew my inmost being, guarantee you i would have spent less time worrying and agonizing and a lot more time showering, shaving, and enoying the process of the blessings that were unfolding for us as a family.
so, here we are. sitting in a home that exudes warmth and love and comfort for us. we have reached the end to the means....and it makes me feel ooey gooey inside. i just hate that that warmth wasn't a constant feeling that i had along the way. what's worse???? i COULD have had it had i turned to god and asked him to help me see the big picture. i saw the messy pots and measuring cups of life by the sink while he saw the delicious treat exiting the oven.
check your ingredients....let him show you what you are made of. guarantee you that when you do, everything will come out of the oven done just right...
here are a few pics of our 3 year old little muffins...
looking back over the months that have passed since my last entry, i realize i have been donning an apron and bakin' quite a bit. while that mental picture might suggest a murfreesboro-bred paula deen, let me be honest and say that is simply not the case. this girl has been a crazy baker because she just be crazy...
2013 has been a doozie. not "bad" by any means, just a heck of a year. from listing our home to selling it, to moving in with the parentals (cue the laughter) to moving back out, our lives have been a full speed green light with no stop or yield signs along the way. building our home was the icing on our messy heap of a cake!
this year has been full of newness and never-ventured-on paths. for those close souls that truly know me, these treks are so NOT me. i love an under the radar lifestyle and calm life and thrive on the principal that boring is good. living surrounded by the love that our dear, close friends and families give us and enjoying our children is what makes me breathe.
in the course of the weeks turned into months of helter-skelter, i would just start grabbing at stuff in the pantry (be it in our old house, parents' house and already in our new house) and would get to whipping something up in the kitchen. i would totally stick to old faithfuls for the builders or crews working on the house in order not to kill them:) but for people like ben who are stuck with me for the time being, i would try out a new dish every now and again. on a sidenote, just because it is pinned on pinterest does not make it good....moving on....
while my heart would be racing and my mind stayed cluttered with mindless thoughts, i would often have to pull back out a recipe card or a cook book to remember how to make things that i used to recite by heart. it was weird having to go back and keep myself and my ingredients in check. thankfully, once i would do so i would almost always produce exactly what it was that i was after.
if i had gone to god to keep my priorities and daily living "in check" in the same manner, i guarantee you i would not have been nearly as disheveled and haphazard as i have been. if i had gone to the one that created me and knew my inmost being, guarantee you i would have spent less time worrying and agonizing and a lot more time showering, shaving, and enoying the process of the blessings that were unfolding for us as a family.
so, here we are. sitting in a home that exudes warmth and love and comfort for us. we have reached the end to the means....and it makes me feel ooey gooey inside. i just hate that that warmth wasn't a constant feeling that i had along the way. what's worse???? i COULD have had it had i turned to god and asked him to help me see the big picture. i saw the messy pots and measuring cups of life by the sink while he saw the delicious treat exiting the oven.
check your ingredients....let him show you what you are made of. guarantee you that when you do, everything will come out of the oven done just right...
here are a few pics of our 3 year old little muffins...
Friday, December 21, 2012
are you there god...
i have uttered this phrase multiple times in the past few weeks. from taking the twins in to the hospital on seperate occasions to my wonderful grandmother heading off to be with her father in heaven to breaking my favorite holiday card holder, i swear the crazy roller coaster ride i have ridden has about made me bananas. you know you have about maxed out your emotional capacity when the shattered card holder makes you cry harder than your grandmother's passing. i am a mixed up bag of mush with shot emotions....not good with at least 4 more days till' jesus' big debut.
we have all had those weeks, though, i know. not for one moment am i going to act as though my rough patch is anything more unbearable than another's. i honestly feel like i have seen quite a few of those that i love most have a rough fall/winter for various reasons. i guess i didn't have the inclination, though, that it was foreshadowing my own future. i was never one to do well with context clues.
anywho....the iconic judy blume novel i mentioned has multiple chapters opening with the phrase "are you there, god? it's me margaret." how fitting that i, margaret/maggie, can recite a phrase that literally relates to myself:) i have prayed to god in the car, in the grocery, in the ER, in the driveway, in the drive through, in the school parking lot, in the hobby lobby parking lot, in traffic, in a triage unit at Vandy, in a cemetary, etc. i have called him many a time from many locations and i have felt like he just wasn't home answering the phone. very frustrating.
in the book, margaret is trying to figure out how religion fits into the world around her. while she is struggling with boys and feminine hygeine issues, she goes to god and throws so many questions in his direction. she keeps going to him needing an "answer". i can relate.....well, i hopefully have those 2 topic covered by 32 years old but you know what i am getting at.
while i am proud to say that all of the hardships i have dealt with recently have caused me to immediately turn to our god, i am NOT proud to say that i did, in fact, want a quick fix and an immediate answer. as we all know, more times than not this is how our intricate father in heaven works. he is the best teacher ever; therefore, as a teacher we have to allow him the time TO teach.
in asking god all of my questions, i hate to admit this but i really started asking him "why" is this or "why" is that happening. i can honestly say i have never really questioned god in an interrogatory manner until now. i was mad. i was confused. i was so tired of waiting for the other shoe to fall and running out of feet! i felt like i had to genuinely ask if he was there because i couldn't understand why he wouldn't let me catch my breath.
thankfully, like dear little margaret, i can truly say that god IS there. my babies are healed. nutrition has been refurbished in tully. minnie's staples have been inserted and THANKFULLY removed. and my dear grandmother had a funeral that would make any church of christ proud:) i swear god hung a huge sunshine on his easel in the sky to welcome her home on the day she was buried. all of the sadness and worry i had felt dissipated just about as quickly as it came.
i truly believe god hears each and every utterance. i know that just because he doesn't give us the A-B-C-D scantron answer certainly doesn't mean he is too busy to pay attention....it just means that he is waiting to help us write the essay-like answer instead.
at the conclusion of this acclaimed book, which was actually banned from certain schools, margaret declares "i know you are there god...you wouldn't have missed this for the world". i hope that, like margaret, i am aware and declare that god is in fact THERE....all the time...never wavering.....never wandering.
hopefully, the craziness will make me appreciate the peacefulness his season brings just a wee-bit more this year....
Friday, December 7, 2012
humpty dumpty...
i never know the date. i struggle in my attempts to recall new faces and new names. i somehow manage to put different pieces of different stories together when i try to retell or relate information to others. not even all the king's horses or men could put this mished-mashed momma together again, evidently.
i am not a hazard to myself or anything so let's get that straight. i am super organized, sanitized, prioritzed and anything else that ends in -ized. what i am not, however, is as cognizant of everyday comings and goings as i was thought i was.
so my question is.....what happened? i am a firm believer in the motto "the most important things in life are learned in kindergarten". so, don't the days of the week and greeting each other by name fall under that category? hmmmmmmmmm.
struggling to balance a connection to life and be a mommy is hard. i have rambled about it before. drawing the line between human and mommy and hopefully coexisting in each of those lands equally is a struggle. however, i have to think we all dealt with these struggles even before kids came into the picture.
hitting the books verses hitting the bars in college or grad school...being polite verses being a perpetual doormat....doing the right thing verses doing the fun thing....having a respectable quantity of friendships verses solid quality ones....the list things involving the whole checks and balances system is endless.
instead of thinking about everything "pre" and "post" baby, i think it is also good to take note of the little intricacies that make each of us who we are.....and that most of those little traits have stuck around for our lifetime.
if i was uber-honest, i would have to say that everyday knowledge has never been my cup of tea. getting lost, running into things, calling the wrong people the wrong names, not knowing rather easy answers to quesitons, etc have all been tidbits of my life that have been with me a long the way....heavens, i am glad god doesn't judge us on trivial pursuit knowledge because i would be up a creek sans paddle!
even though i might never be put back together again, i have to own up that i was likely never toodling around town tied up in a perfect little bow in the first place. i guess it's okay to never be put back together again and that is why we have family, friends, and/or little ones to love us regardless. merry halloween and happy christmas!
Friday, November 16, 2012
why...
minnie and tully are coming into their own these days. they would rather play with the elder kiddos in a group than think of themselves as the "babies". they would rather sit up in a "mommy/daddy chair" as opposed to being strapped into a highchair. they would rather hold a big ole honkin' piece of pizza instead of having it could up into a bazillion tiny, baby pieces. they simply are "big" little people, i guess. i won't allow myself to fully call them anything but my babies, though.
in spite of their growing curiosity, they are not QUITE to the point of quesitoning. you know, the "when.....why....how...etc" stage. i cannot imagine what it will be like when their mouths echo their minds and they began asking me to explain the peculiarities of the the world and wait for an explanation that is "good" enough.
i have thought about this stage that is to come quite a bit over the few weeks. for some reason, the latter part of this fall was a season of living for the twins but it was a hard month mentally for me. sad news stories, heartbreaking comings and goings of reality, and other facts of life have just left me more confused and distraught than i have ever felt.
i guess i have always been a softy with easily-hurt feelings all along my little journey of life, but mommyhood has launched that trait into orbit big time. the instances that have surfaced lately have left me heartbroken at times. i have struggled with WHY so many things seemed to be happening all around me. while i am thankful for this peaceful portion of minnie and tully's timeline, my heart has been restless for those who are not experiencing calm.
what in the world am i going to tell minnie and tully when they ask me to explain the unexplainable? how will i break the news of reality with a grace that god will be proud of? how do i aptly tell them that it is ok to not always understand BUT in turn, remain faithful and perservere?
i ask these questions because i am open to answers. i truly don't know.
as a mommy, it is so hard to know what is "right". from the moment our crazy little ones are born, we analyze and over analyze every aspect of their life......are they sleeping enough, are they sick, did they go to the bathroom, how long should i keep them awake, how long should i let them sleep, are they hot, are they cold, are they happy, should i take them here, should i keep them home, etc......i mean, let's be honest our own mental momma questions should make THEIR questions like a walk in the park on down the road!!!! they couldn't possibly make us as crazy as we make ourselves!
for now, i am glad my little ones are not asking me tough questions. stressing between dora gummies and veggie tale snack packs is enough. however, i have to know that just like me minnie and tully will wonder why hard, trying things happen to god's most perfect people. i pray that god is with me when those questions come JUST like he is with those that are hurting and/or struggling.
god is close to the brokenhearted and saves those that are crushed in his spirit. thank the lord, he is....thank the lord...
in spite of their growing curiosity, they are not QUITE to the point of quesitoning. you know, the "when.....why....how...etc" stage. i cannot imagine what it will be like when their mouths echo their minds and they began asking me to explain the peculiarities of the the world and wait for an explanation that is "good" enough.
i have thought about this stage that is to come quite a bit over the few weeks. for some reason, the latter part of this fall was a season of living for the twins but it was a hard month mentally for me. sad news stories, heartbreaking comings and goings of reality, and other facts of life have just left me more confused and distraught than i have ever felt.
i guess i have always been a softy with easily-hurt feelings all along my little journey of life, but mommyhood has launched that trait into orbit big time. the instances that have surfaced lately have left me heartbroken at times. i have struggled with WHY so many things seemed to be happening all around me. while i am thankful for this peaceful portion of minnie and tully's timeline, my heart has been restless for those who are not experiencing calm.
what in the world am i going to tell minnie and tully when they ask me to explain the unexplainable? how will i break the news of reality with a grace that god will be proud of? how do i aptly tell them that it is ok to not always understand BUT in turn, remain faithful and perservere?
i ask these questions because i am open to answers. i truly don't know.
as a mommy, it is so hard to know what is "right". from the moment our crazy little ones are born, we analyze and over analyze every aspect of their life......are they sleeping enough, are they sick, did they go to the bathroom, how long should i keep them awake, how long should i let them sleep, are they hot, are they cold, are they happy, should i take them here, should i keep them home, etc......i mean, let's be honest our own mental momma questions should make THEIR questions like a walk in the park on down the road!!!! they couldn't possibly make us as crazy as we make ourselves!
for now, i am glad my little ones are not asking me tough questions. stressing between dora gummies and veggie tale snack packs is enough. however, i have to know that just like me minnie and tully will wonder why hard, trying things happen to god's most perfect people. i pray that god is with me when those questions come JUST like he is with those that are hurting and/or struggling.
god is close to the brokenhearted and saves those that are crushed in his spirit. thank the lord, he is....thank the lord...
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
don't do it...
i had to look back to see when i made my last entry. wow....so, it's been awhile. i wish i had some extravagant reasoning behind my blogger departure. not that anyone is shedding tears over my absence, but i almost feel like i need a black and white reason as to why i left the land of blog.
it is safe to say that life has just been chugging along. some days fast, others slow. it just depends upon the day in regards to how fast or slow time is traveling.
though the twins are not conquering any huge milestones such as potty training or sleeping in big people beds, they are growing up so quickly. i hate to say they are growing "like weeds" because weeds are gross. who wants their child to be referred to as an an annoying, green, spindling thing?
i digress. i am meandering and getting off topic. i have forgotten how to write, make fluid thoughts and conversation, how to express myself from one point to the next, etc....which is precisely the point of today's rambling.
i was watching the view one day amidst laundry piles and bouts with the iron. i caught a conversation julie bowen from Modern Family was having with the ladies. i normally am a bit put off by all of the strong opinions on that show and the means each lady goes to in order to upstage her counterpart; however, the convo i heard was sheer brilliance.
julie bowen has 3 boys, 1 elder and twins to follow. she was reminiscing about when she and her husband found out she was pregnant with twins. she said that instead of a huge congrats from her doctor, he pretty much stopped her mid-sentence and said some of the most valuable words i have ever heard.
like her character on the show, bowen said said she goes 90 to nothing and that little shakes her. however, the words that were uttered from her doctor caused her to stop dead in her tracks....
"whatever you do, do NOT give these twins 100%. if you give your twins everything, you will have nothing. you will either die young or hurt one of them because you are not of sound mind and body. if you give your children 100%, you will not have a smidgen of energy to take care of yourself....you all will suffer"
when i first heard this bit of advice, i thought how "wrong" it was for her doctor to say such nonsense. i thought that every mother SHOULD give 100%. every mom should give up her own life the day she becomes a mother (biologically, through adoption, through any means whatsoever).
i then began gnawing on this knowledge & have done so at least once or twice each day ever since.
no trophy is given for the mother that doesn't shower. no award is given for the mother that lets her health fall by the wayside in efforts to focus on her child. no crown of glory is given to the mother parked first in the pick up line. no scepter is handed to the mother who stocks her child's closet with the best clothes. no certificate is handed to the mom with the smallest amount of "me" time. no mother deserves an award over ANY other mother. so, um, what in the world am i doing....
i know i feel good when my kids do. meeting their needs, making them smile, helping them conquer an item on their kiddie bucket list are all mommy chores that make my day complete. it truly doesn't get any better that helping your little ones become solid little godly beings.
the problem, though, is that if we pour ourselves into them 100 percent of the time we are left with empty pitcher lives. no passion is left for our hubbies. no self-worth is left for us. no fun is left for A NIGHT with dear girlfriends. if we give it all we are left with nada. the most important aspect of the advice she spoke of was that everyone suffers.....even the kids we are depleting ourselves for.
let me come full-circle.....i truly believe we should give 99%. i believe that to be a mommy is such an immeasurable gift that we should honor it by fulfilling the definition of mommy to our greatest ability. i also believe that we should hold tight to that remaining 1% and honor to keep it.....and never ever let it go.
i guess that i just know that instead of never having time to squeeze in a long shower, wash gross make up off my face, get to the dentist, color brown roots, schedule a much-needed date with my children's daddy, etc.....i have got to bring my well-being back to the surface. it's a hard job, but mommy is used to just that:)
it is safe to say that life has just been chugging along. some days fast, others slow. it just depends upon the day in regards to how fast or slow time is traveling.
though the twins are not conquering any huge milestones such as potty training or sleeping in big people beds, they are growing up so quickly. i hate to say they are growing "like weeds" because weeds are gross. who wants their child to be referred to as an an annoying, green, spindling thing?
i digress. i am meandering and getting off topic. i have forgotten how to write, make fluid thoughts and conversation, how to express myself from one point to the next, etc....which is precisely the point of today's rambling.
i was watching the view one day amidst laundry piles and bouts with the iron. i caught a conversation julie bowen from Modern Family was having with the ladies. i normally am a bit put off by all of the strong opinions on that show and the means each lady goes to in order to upstage her counterpart; however, the convo i heard was sheer brilliance.
julie bowen has 3 boys, 1 elder and twins to follow. she was reminiscing about when she and her husband found out she was pregnant with twins. she said that instead of a huge congrats from her doctor, he pretty much stopped her mid-sentence and said some of the most valuable words i have ever heard.
like her character on the show, bowen said said she goes 90 to nothing and that little shakes her. however, the words that were uttered from her doctor caused her to stop dead in her tracks....
"whatever you do, do NOT give these twins 100%. if you give your twins everything, you will have nothing. you will either die young or hurt one of them because you are not of sound mind and body. if you give your children 100%, you will not have a smidgen of energy to take care of yourself....you all will suffer"
when i first heard this bit of advice, i thought how "wrong" it was for her doctor to say such nonsense. i thought that every mother SHOULD give 100%. every mom should give up her own life the day she becomes a mother (biologically, through adoption, through any means whatsoever).
i then began gnawing on this knowledge & have done so at least once or twice each day ever since.
no trophy is given for the mother that doesn't shower. no award is given for the mother that lets her health fall by the wayside in efforts to focus on her child. no crown of glory is given to the mother parked first in the pick up line. no scepter is handed to the mother who stocks her child's closet with the best clothes. no certificate is handed to the mom with the smallest amount of "me" time. no mother deserves an award over ANY other mother. so, um, what in the world am i doing....
i know i feel good when my kids do. meeting their needs, making them smile, helping them conquer an item on their kiddie bucket list are all mommy chores that make my day complete. it truly doesn't get any better that helping your little ones become solid little godly beings.
the problem, though, is that if we pour ourselves into them 100 percent of the time we are left with empty pitcher lives. no passion is left for our hubbies. no self-worth is left for us. no fun is left for A NIGHT with dear girlfriends. if we give it all we are left with nada. the most important aspect of the advice she spoke of was that everyone suffers.....even the kids we are depleting ourselves for.
let me come full-circle.....i truly believe we should give 99%. i believe that to be a mommy is such an immeasurable gift that we should honor it by fulfilling the definition of mommy to our greatest ability. i also believe that we should hold tight to that remaining 1% and honor to keep it.....and never ever let it go.
i guess that i just know that instead of never having time to squeeze in a long shower, wash gross make up off my face, get to the dentist, color brown roots, schedule a much-needed date with my children's daddy, etc.....i have got to bring my well-being back to the surface. it's a hard job, but mommy is used to just that:)
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
two years old...
birthdays are supposed to be times of celebration. they are supposed to be moments full of laughter, bright balloons, and sweet, sugar-infused treats of deliciousness. this year, the twins' birthday IS just that. however, for some reason it is hitting a nerve on a deeper nostalgic level.
when you first have a baby, the first year is full of notable "firsts". everyone is in awe of how infants go from laying to sitting to crawling to inevitably walking. everyone is asking what a little one eats, how they sleep, what their schedule is, etc. for some reason, that first year of a little one's life is just enfatuating.
once the second year of life begins, everything to a mommy or daddy is just as exciting but everyone else's lives move on along....as they should. it's an adjustment, though. i remember feeling a similar way when people came to the hospital when minnie and tully were first born. visitors, family, friends, and the like would come to shower our little ones with joy and encouraging words and then they........would........leave.
i should have known your friends and family didn't camp out in sleeping bags with pop up tents at the hospital. i should have known that they have their own lives to live and loved ones to care for. i should have known that the world wouldn't stop for me. however, i guess i kind of thought it would! ha.....not the most intelligent bit of thought, huh?
when you have a baby, life changes forever. every breath your breathe is different because of the breath of life you gave to another being. every hour that passes feels longer or shorter, depending on the kind of day your son or daughter (or in our case both) is having. and even though within the first year everything is "new", the second year is so incredibly significant because it's when your little baby becomes someone.
soooooooooo much goes on in a little house with a little family. so many memories are made and so many milestones get notched on a little ones belt that NO ONE other than one's immediate family sees. maybe that's why a birthday can make you just sit in the floor and melt? maybe knowing what all happens in a year really can bring you to your knees to say thank you Lord for getting us here and bless you for the miracles that we are celebrating...
tully and minnie....where to begin? the past year has flown by. you two have made your presence known and have developed personalities that make you who you are....unlike anyone else. tully, you are the doe-eyed clinger that just soaks life in like a sponge. you are so particular and exact in anything you do. from building to hitting the ball off the tee, if it isn't done "just so" you fall apart and then do it "the right way" again and then clap for yourself. oh, you are momma's doll baby. and my minnie, what a curly-headed, fun-loving little lady you are becoming. your laugh is infectious. your hour-long monologues entertain us all....where you are is where the party is, sweet one!
you both deserve your own celebration indeed! however, i can't imagine celebrating one 2-year-birthday without celebrating two. oh, how we love you to pieces...us and everyone that has celebrated your lives as blessings and miracles from the moment you were born.......
when you first have a baby, the first year is full of notable "firsts". everyone is in awe of how infants go from laying to sitting to crawling to inevitably walking. everyone is asking what a little one eats, how they sleep, what their schedule is, etc. for some reason, that first year of a little one's life is just enfatuating.
once the second year of life begins, everything to a mommy or daddy is just as exciting but everyone else's lives move on along....as they should. it's an adjustment, though. i remember feeling a similar way when people came to the hospital when minnie and tully were first born. visitors, family, friends, and the like would come to shower our little ones with joy and encouraging words and then they........would........leave.
i should have known your friends and family didn't camp out in sleeping bags with pop up tents at the hospital. i should have known that they have their own lives to live and loved ones to care for. i should have known that the world wouldn't stop for me. however, i guess i kind of thought it would! ha.....not the most intelligent bit of thought, huh?
when you have a baby, life changes forever. every breath your breathe is different because of the breath of life you gave to another being. every hour that passes feels longer or shorter, depending on the kind of day your son or daughter (or in our case both) is having. and even though within the first year everything is "new", the second year is so incredibly significant because it's when your little baby becomes someone.
soooooooooo much goes on in a little house with a little family. so many memories are made and so many milestones get notched on a little ones belt that NO ONE other than one's immediate family sees. maybe that's why a birthday can make you just sit in the floor and melt? maybe knowing what all happens in a year really can bring you to your knees to say thank you Lord for getting us here and bless you for the miracles that we are celebrating...
tully and minnie....where to begin? the past year has flown by. you two have made your presence known and have developed personalities that make you who you are....unlike anyone else. tully, you are the doe-eyed clinger that just soaks life in like a sponge. you are so particular and exact in anything you do. from building to hitting the ball off the tee, if it isn't done "just so" you fall apart and then do it "the right way" again and then clap for yourself. oh, you are momma's doll baby. and my minnie, what a curly-headed, fun-loving little lady you are becoming. your laugh is infectious. your hour-long monologues entertain us all....where you are is where the party is, sweet one!
you both deserve your own celebration indeed! however, i can't imagine celebrating one 2-year-birthday without celebrating two. oh, how we love you to pieces...us and everyone that has celebrated your lives as blessings and miracles from the moment you were born.......
Sunday, August 26, 2012
getting ready for battle...
today was one of those days where my mind was traveling off like a meandering road into nowhere. sadly, it was doing so in the middle of the sermon during worship. i don't believe i would have been getting 12 thumbs up from the disciples....it was a 12-thumbs-down kind of effort on my part.
coffee had been brewed. kid-approved fare had been prepared and gobbled up. quality family time around the breakfast table had occurred without question or bobble. the children were dressed in their church-appropriate smocked numbers and dropped off 5 minutes EARLY to the nursery. i guess what i am trying to say is that i was sitting all tall and proud of myself for my sunday morning accomplishments.....i thought "I" had really, really done something.
this air of confidence was quickly squelched in the middle of the sermon, though. while in the midst of to-do list items, grocery notations, and the twins' birthday decor ideas, i was caught off guard by some key sermon points. our pastor was talking about putting on armor and being on guard in order to ward off temptations. i started thinking to myself that i am not tempted by anything....
-alcoholism
-cheating/adultery
-stealing
all of the "BAD" temptations we all think about or read about in Star magazing in the checkout lane at Publix just don't apply to me so therefore, i have no armor to slip into to keep satan at bay. right?????
just about the time i began to hold my head super-high, my pastor brought up another point that knocked my behind right back down into the uncomfortable back-row seat i was in. she mentioned that in being caught up in the frenzy of life that we often are so "into" the world around us (competative mommies, comparing our children to others, wanting the lifestyles other families portray, etc), we are oblivious to the armor needed to deal with daily struggles that we all face in some shape, way, or form.
what was so very ironic about the word "frenzy" is that 20 seconds beforehand i was thinking about how i couldn't believe my babies were turning 2 this week. my sister-in-law was running with ben long ago and when he took off too fast in a race she yelled "ben, don't get caught up in the frenzy"....while in THAT context, it is funny, it can apply in a not-so-funny way.
i think i often feel that at the end of the day, i have really DONE something. i feel like i should sport a shiny medal or pretty saphire blue ribbon. in reality, i should be soaking it all in and thanking god for the 2 gifts He has given me. i should also be suited up to swat away the other junk that impedes on that joy. isn't it amazing....in getting caught up in the stuff, you let the beauty around you slip away unnoticed.
being a twin mommy is fun, but it is a frenzy for sure. in efforts to prepare everything times 2 (meals, diapers, clothing, games, outside toys, etc), i think i am beginning to realize i need to better prepare myself for the daily struggles/issues/battles that sneak in. it's time to load up and be prepared.....just as i do for these crazy kiddos i am honored to call my own...
coffee had been brewed. kid-approved fare had been prepared and gobbled up. quality family time around the breakfast table had occurred without question or bobble. the children were dressed in their church-appropriate smocked numbers and dropped off 5 minutes EARLY to the nursery. i guess what i am trying to say is that i was sitting all tall and proud of myself for my sunday morning accomplishments.....i thought "I" had really, really done something.
this air of confidence was quickly squelched in the middle of the sermon, though. while in the midst of to-do list items, grocery notations, and the twins' birthday decor ideas, i was caught off guard by some key sermon points. our pastor was talking about putting on armor and being on guard in order to ward off temptations. i started thinking to myself that i am not tempted by anything....
-alcoholism
-cheating/adultery
-stealing
all of the "BAD" temptations we all think about or read about in Star magazing in the checkout lane at Publix just don't apply to me so therefore, i have no armor to slip into to keep satan at bay. right?????
just about the time i began to hold my head super-high, my pastor brought up another point that knocked my behind right back down into the uncomfortable back-row seat i was in. she mentioned that in being caught up in the frenzy of life that we often are so "into" the world around us (competative mommies, comparing our children to others, wanting the lifestyles other families portray, etc), we are oblivious to the armor needed to deal with daily struggles that we all face in some shape, way, or form.
what was so very ironic about the word "frenzy" is that 20 seconds beforehand i was thinking about how i couldn't believe my babies were turning 2 this week. my sister-in-law was running with ben long ago and when he took off too fast in a race she yelled "ben, don't get caught up in the frenzy"....while in THAT context, it is funny, it can apply in a not-so-funny way.
i think i often feel that at the end of the day, i have really DONE something. i feel like i should sport a shiny medal or pretty saphire blue ribbon. in reality, i should be soaking it all in and thanking god for the 2 gifts He has given me. i should also be suited up to swat away the other junk that impedes on that joy. isn't it amazing....in getting caught up in the stuff, you let the beauty around you slip away unnoticed.
being a twin mommy is fun, but it is a frenzy for sure. in efforts to prepare everything times 2 (meals, diapers, clothing, games, outside toys, etc), i think i am beginning to realize i need to better prepare myself for the daily struggles/issues/battles that sneak in. it's time to load up and be prepared.....just as i do for these crazy kiddos i am honored to call my own...
Thursday, August 2, 2012
she's come undone...
i read a certain book a long, long, time ago. i have started, stopped, and re-started reading multiple books since this one, but this pick was one of those "retrieve and never put down" pieces. the title was "she's come undone" by wally lamb. it was one that queen oprah suggested, so how could i not digest it in one single sitting!
it was a super-deep story that somehow made you laugh, feel sad, and deeply connected all at once. now, i am telling you my life does not resemble the main character's an ounce; however, the emotions she experiences and the ups and downs she encounters resemble every single one of our own lives. now i know your name might not be delores BUT i swear you will get this woman.
"she's come undone"....huh.....what an apt title for this stage in the game for me. while we all live lives full of blessings, we also experience elements of pain and momentary setbacks that challenge us to love continually and cling to daily courage to come out on top.
now ladies (and the few and far between gentlemen that read my rants), i am not talking on an incredibly deep level here. do NOT, i repeat, do not read too far into the philosophical undertone. what i am trying to say, cut and dry this time, is that our lives are flipping fabulous. really, they are. we all have it made. even though we all do not "have" everything (perfect marriages, to-the-tee children, cookie-cutter families, millionaire checking accounts, etc), we do have full lives. our cups overfloweth....plain and simple.
what i am getting at is that we all certainly can have little bumps that rock us.....a mean phone call, a gipped coif from our favorite stylist, a diaper that ends up with remnants on our favorite blouse, a snippy remark from a coworker or dear friend, an entree at our favorite restaurant that is taken off the menu, etc. see.........bumps happen all of the time. the double dare challenge to us, though, is to rise above it. acknowledge it. don't run away or pretend it didn't happen....but then move the heck on.
we are all coming undone. some of us admit it. some of us do not. i think our goal, regardless of how we portray our lives to others, is to do so with the grace god t-totally promises us he always has in our corner.
in spite of the junk that satan (and sometimes our nearest and dearest) throw at us, if we can laugh and move on with it we will totally soak up the richness our lives DO abound with. i truly believe i am the queen of not soaking up the joy that i am surrounded with daily. let me openly share some of my "awful" recent setbacks....
1. 2 pairs of broken flip flops in awkward outings
2. a crappy dinner that i worked all afternoon to prepare for my hubby that pays for all of the groceries
3. a piece of spice i found wedged in my teeth that no one cared to help me expunge
4. back to back vomiting children (it lasted a day a piece but i acted like world war 27 had occurred)
5. the inability to finish a nice dinner because my children demand mommy read with them
i sound absolutely ridiculous. i do. no need to think it and not deliver the message. i am typing my top 5 list of sad things in the life of maggie parsley and side grinning at the craziness of it all. while i am coming undone 24/7 as a mommy/wife/friend/etc, i am full of miracles and love that god and others fill my bones with. we are all unraveling....but the unraveling makes the magic even more fantastic.
it was a super-deep story that somehow made you laugh, feel sad, and deeply connected all at once. now, i am telling you my life does not resemble the main character's an ounce; however, the emotions she experiences and the ups and downs she encounters resemble every single one of our own lives. now i know your name might not be delores BUT i swear you will get this woman.
"she's come undone"....huh.....what an apt title for this stage in the game for me. while we all live lives full of blessings, we also experience elements of pain and momentary setbacks that challenge us to love continually and cling to daily courage to come out on top.
now ladies (and the few and far between gentlemen that read my rants), i am not talking on an incredibly deep level here. do NOT, i repeat, do not read too far into the philosophical undertone. what i am trying to say, cut and dry this time, is that our lives are flipping fabulous. really, they are. we all have it made. even though we all do not "have" everything (perfect marriages, to-the-tee children, cookie-cutter families, millionaire checking accounts, etc), we do have full lives. our cups overfloweth....plain and simple.
what i am getting at is that we all certainly can have little bumps that rock us.....a mean phone call, a gipped coif from our favorite stylist, a diaper that ends up with remnants on our favorite blouse, a snippy remark from a coworker or dear friend, an entree at our favorite restaurant that is taken off the menu, etc. see.........bumps happen all of the time. the double dare challenge to us, though, is to rise above it. acknowledge it. don't run away or pretend it didn't happen....but then move the heck on.
we are all coming undone. some of us admit it. some of us do not. i think our goal, regardless of how we portray our lives to others, is to do so with the grace god t-totally promises us he always has in our corner.
in spite of the junk that satan (and sometimes our nearest and dearest) throw at us, if we can laugh and move on with it we will totally soak up the richness our lives DO abound with. i truly believe i am the queen of not soaking up the joy that i am surrounded with daily. let me openly share some of my "awful" recent setbacks....
1. 2 pairs of broken flip flops in awkward outings
2. a crappy dinner that i worked all afternoon to prepare for my hubby that pays for all of the groceries
3. a piece of spice i found wedged in my teeth that no one cared to help me expunge
4. back to back vomiting children (it lasted a day a piece but i acted like world war 27 had occurred)
5. the inability to finish a nice dinner because my children demand mommy read with them
i sound absolutely ridiculous. i do. no need to think it and not deliver the message. i am typing my top 5 list of sad things in the life of maggie parsley and side grinning at the craziness of it all. while i am coming undone 24/7 as a mommy/wife/friend/etc, i am full of miracles and love that god and others fill my bones with. we are all unraveling....but the unraveling makes the magic even more fantastic.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
discombobulated...
i literally had to pull up the last blog post to remind myself as to where i left off. it has been close to a month since a pair of parsleys had been tended to. i would like to have a big "reveal"....a big bang kind of a reason as to why the author has been MIA.
however, i have nothing of the sort. the reason for my extended vacation from the land of blog is quite mundane. i simply have been going to ninety to nothing these days and have had a lapse of brain power in the writing department. thankfully, our income and means to live by are not affected by this loss:)
even as i type away, i seem to be struggling to utter a complete thought or sentence. my friends would tell me that is accurate because my thoughts are often discombobulated a bit! i guess this is characteristically on point with almost 2 year old twins. despite the frenzy, life sure is unfolding in an entertaining way each and every day.
this summer has been packed with a beach vacay, family soirees, pool dips, fetes for ladies set to become mommas, etc. while nothing really would knock your socks off, the relay between each activity has kept this fam perked on our toes. we have had our spurts of negativity amidst all of the fun chaos. the lovely virus that took over 3 out of the 4 parsleys last week sure dealt us a blow....for sure! thankfully, the dog days of summer have given us more blessed memories, though, that have helped us remain positive and trudge along....
however, i have nothing of the sort. the reason for my extended vacation from the land of blog is quite mundane. i simply have been going to ninety to nothing these days and have had a lapse of brain power in the writing department. thankfully, our income and means to live by are not affected by this loss:)
even as i type away, i seem to be struggling to utter a complete thought or sentence. my friends would tell me that is accurate because my thoughts are often discombobulated a bit! i guess this is characteristically on point with almost 2 year old twins. despite the frenzy, life sure is unfolding in an entertaining way each and every day.
this summer has been packed with a beach vacay, family soirees, pool dips, fetes for ladies set to become mommas, etc. while nothing really would knock your socks off, the relay between each activity has kept this fam perked on our toes. we have had our spurts of negativity amidst all of the fun chaos. the lovely virus that took over 3 out of the 4 parsleys last week sure dealt us a blow....for sure! thankfully, the dog days of summer have given us more blessed memories, though, that have helped us remain positive and trudge along....
 |
| peek a boo |
 |
| popsicle fun |
 |
| sibling love at the zoo |
 |
| look at that smiling sissy |
 |
| taking the fun to the beach |
 |
| partying on the 4th |
 |
| tuckered out from the day |
 |
| soccer star |
 |
| or baseball stud..... |
Thursday, June 14, 2012
grass...
oh, mr & mrs jones....how we do try to keep up with you! if it is not a fab new bag, it's a new color block combination. if it isn't a new weight management tip, it's a new treat to indulge in and savor. if it isn't a get-rich-quick antic, it's a new method to save millions. i swear, the day pinterest was launched was the day we all decided that we want to try everything new at once and make corny boards to post our insanity to the world.
do not get me wrong, i have a pinterest and will remain obsessed even after this post. i often, however, find myself ecstatic about a cool finding....and then almost instantly depleted once i realize i will never have whatever concoction i have pinned. and this, my friends, is life isn't it. we all want whatever the world is showing us and we get soaked up in the "stuff" and don't realize how good we have it. again, i am talking about moi...if you want to admit it along with me than "mercy buckets" to you...get it, merci boucoup:)
when kiddies get added to your life, this whole wash and rinse cycle totally repeats itself. we see other mommas that are hotter and cooler than we are, and we ooze with desire to be them. we see little ones running about it tailor-made attire, and we innately sometimes think how much cuter our own would be in their outfits (be honest). children might run about oblivious to the universe of thought around them but we mommas, wow......we are one hot mess.
as christian parents, the hubby and i really try to appreciate what we have and thank the lord for the blessings he gave us. one would think that not being able to get preggo and fertility shot after fertility shot would make a momma thankful.
as NORMAL parents, though, we have better days than others at mastering that goal. certain days, we sing kumba ya and are living a life of zen...happy babies, happy parents, happy family. period.
on the contrary, other days we are aching for what other parental units have and are trying to mold our family style into what we see instead of living our own, unique life god is always spinning away to create. in an effort to steer us back to finding that individual route of happiness that is parsley road and no one else's, i decided i needed to think of some awesome things happening to quite a few great fams around us. i need to be thankful for blessings in THEIR lives and not pine for it for my own...
recent happiness for OTHERS....
1. a new perfect baby born early at NINE pounds
2. a new home found
3. a new home being renovated
4. a slew of healthy preggo mommas waddling about in this summer hea
5. a happy almost-month-old baby that is thriving perfectly regardless of previous health concerns
6. a great health report after a scary surgery
7. an unexpected pregnancy after years of infertility
8. an acceptance into a great school for their kiddos
9. a new love that is so fun to watch and recollect upon
10. a ...........
my point is this. we can be super-pumped for other people. their road, however, should not emulate our own and vice versa. their road is THEIRS. our road is OURS. we all have some bumps. however, we all also have some fantabulous rest stops along the way. i am trying to realize this and practice what i am preaching. i figure that since i am having a hard time doing so at times, i should write about it so everyone can t-totally call me out. please be nice.
in conclusion to this lovely almost-friday epiphany, let me share an intellectual morsel of genius i heard recently...."the grass is not always greener. really, it is just grass".
don't hop on over into someone else's grass. let them play in their own yard and enjoy. have some fun of your own in your yard and smile big at those playing next door. this summer, we sure have had some smiles of our own...
do not get me wrong, i have a pinterest and will remain obsessed even after this post. i often, however, find myself ecstatic about a cool finding....and then almost instantly depleted once i realize i will never have whatever concoction i have pinned. and this, my friends, is life isn't it. we all want whatever the world is showing us and we get soaked up in the "stuff" and don't realize how good we have it. again, i am talking about moi...if you want to admit it along with me than "mercy buckets" to you...get it, merci boucoup:)
when kiddies get added to your life, this whole wash and rinse cycle totally repeats itself. we see other mommas that are hotter and cooler than we are, and we ooze with desire to be them. we see little ones running about it tailor-made attire, and we innately sometimes think how much cuter our own would be in their outfits (be honest). children might run about oblivious to the universe of thought around them but we mommas, wow......we are one hot mess.
as christian parents, the hubby and i really try to appreciate what we have and thank the lord for the blessings he gave us. one would think that not being able to get preggo and fertility shot after fertility shot would make a momma thankful.
as NORMAL parents, though, we have better days than others at mastering that goal. certain days, we sing kumba ya and are living a life of zen...happy babies, happy parents, happy family. period.
on the contrary, other days we are aching for what other parental units have and are trying to mold our family style into what we see instead of living our own, unique life god is always spinning away to create. in an effort to steer us back to finding that individual route of happiness that is parsley road and no one else's, i decided i needed to think of some awesome things happening to quite a few great fams around us. i need to be thankful for blessings in THEIR lives and not pine for it for my own...
recent happiness for OTHERS....
1. a new perfect baby born early at NINE pounds
2. a new home found
3. a new home being renovated
4. a slew of healthy preggo mommas waddling about in this summer hea
5. a happy almost-month-old baby that is thriving perfectly regardless of previous health concerns
6. a great health report after a scary surgery
7. an unexpected pregnancy after years of infertility
8. an acceptance into a great school for their kiddos
9. a new love that is so fun to watch and recollect upon
10. a ...........
my point is this. we can be super-pumped for other people. their road, however, should not emulate our own and vice versa. their road is THEIRS. our road is OURS. we all have some bumps. however, we all also have some fantabulous rest stops along the way. i am trying to realize this and practice what i am preaching. i figure that since i am having a hard time doing so at times, i should write about it so everyone can t-totally call me out. please be nice.
in conclusion to this lovely almost-friday epiphany, let me share an intellectual morsel of genius i heard recently...."the grass is not always greener. really, it is just grass".
don't hop on over into someone else's grass. let them play in their own yard and enjoy. have some fun of your own in your yard and smile big at those playing next door. this summer, we sure have had some smiles of our own...
Sunday, June 3, 2012
fish out of water...
let it be known, i am not the daredevil. i do not get into the ocean. i do not ride bicycles. i do not go over the speed limit. i do not gun it through a stale yellow. i actually do not even eat at most weddings or parties in fear of eating a deadly peanut. overall, living on the edge is obviously not my thing (and don't try to convince me biking is not a dangerous sin...it is. why people trust 2 wheels and some metal i don't know).
though i choose to just say "no" to a wide array of activities, i do not want my kids growing up IN fear. i want them to live life to the fullest, toodling in whichever activity pool their heart and and soul desire. i want them to stretch their wings and fly...not too high though.
in my passion to encourage them to soak up life like little godly sponges, i decided to enroll them in a swim survival class over the past week. the goal of the class is to encourage little ones to a)be more at peace with water and b)float if for some reason one found themselves in water. my kiddos have always loved water and attained that fish gene through their daddy. i am thrilled; however, my little twin fishies had never been introduced to a shark until this past week got rolling.
enter: mr. gareth. the strong soul that runs this program has it moving like a well-oiled machine. from a respectable swim team to intermediate water-goers to babies like mine, this man has mastered the art of teaching water skills. while i knew he was the best one for the job, it did not make this past week any easier.
i cried....every single day. these were not tears of joy because my children were developing skills like those of michael phelps, however. the tears that were shed were the repercussions of watching my twins be put under water, forced to float on their backs and be pitched off the diving board. it WAS graphic, if that is what you are thinking....so very hard to watch indeed. however, the best things in life sometimes are the hardest in the process.
while the tears and fear would quickly dissolve once dum dum rewards were given, i would already be dreading the next day's ritual. it was like the week that would never end, BUT i was ever-so-determined to finish what i started.
though we are not bound for the summer olympics, i do know that taking preventative measures are imperative to raising my multiples in a safe, warm, encouraging environment. while a shark led the way this week, i know my little guppies took a swim in the right direction.
though i choose to just say "no" to a wide array of activities, i do not want my kids growing up IN fear. i want them to live life to the fullest, toodling in whichever activity pool their heart and and soul desire. i want them to stretch their wings and fly...not too high though.
in my passion to encourage them to soak up life like little godly sponges, i decided to enroll them in a swim survival class over the past week. the goal of the class is to encourage little ones to a)be more at peace with water and b)float if for some reason one found themselves in water. my kiddos have always loved water and attained that fish gene through their daddy. i am thrilled; however, my little twin fishies had never been introduced to a shark until this past week got rolling.
enter: mr. gareth. the strong soul that runs this program has it moving like a well-oiled machine. from a respectable swim team to intermediate water-goers to babies like mine, this man has mastered the art of teaching water skills. while i knew he was the best one for the job, it did not make this past week any easier.
i cried....every single day. these were not tears of joy because my children were developing skills like those of michael phelps, however. the tears that were shed were the repercussions of watching my twins be put under water, forced to float on their backs and be pitched off the diving board. it WAS graphic, if that is what you are thinking....so very hard to watch indeed. however, the best things in life sometimes are the hardest in the process.
while the tears and fear would quickly dissolve once dum dum rewards were given, i would already be dreading the next day's ritual. it was like the week that would never end, BUT i was ever-so-determined to finish what i started.
though we are not bound for the summer olympics, i do know that taking preventative measures are imperative to raising my multiples in a safe, warm, encouraging environment. while a shark led the way this week, i know my little guppies took a swim in the right direction.
 |
| not a very graceful entry....like a 2.2 |
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| diving |
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| nemo |
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| she is thrilled... |
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| sooooo close to flipping over on his back! |
Sunday, May 27, 2012
a house divided...
memorial day 2011. i honestly do not remember the festivities that took place this time last year but these images are vivid reminders. not only do the pictures capture the twins' difference in appearance, they capture their differing approaches to life.
our minnie...we were trying to keep that girl from diving into the pool as if she were the female michael phelps. she would babble about nothing and swan dive into any body of water be it a pool or the indian ocean. on the flip side, i remember luring tully near the water's edge with promises of puffs and the safety of brightly-hued floats. my oh my, how certain aspects of life remain the same.
that is the life these two babes lead to this day. minnie is our daydreamer. our carefree drifter that meanders and babbles as if patty griffin were constantly playing in her little noggin. she is truly a lover of life. while she seems to be running towards whatever is tugging at her attention, her squishy legs don't move very fast! i guess that is why she always stops to smell the roses.
tully, however, is our cautious one. while not necessarily scared of everything, he takes his precious time warming up to new people and new concepts while laughing at minnie all the way. he is our cuddler and our one that falls asleep in the blink of an eye. he is the perfectionist that builds towers that are lined up perfectly, edge to edge....and cries when sweet sissy stumbles into them.
when minnie is spinning around and around to make herself dizzy, tully is pushing his car up and down the same path because he knows what goes up must come down. when tully is gingerly removing the pepperonis off a piece of pizza, minnie is a slice ahead. when tully wakes up, every hair on his head remains coiffed to perfection. minnie, on the other hand, is a rats' nest gone crazy. these two define opposite.
sometimes, i look at people like they have three heads when they ask if my twins just do everything the same. i want to tell them they are stupid, and that they should go back to elementary school and let some smart educators teach them something intelligent. at the same time, i have to remember i do bring those comments on myself.
if you have seen the parsley tandem, they are always donning coordinating attire. while some individuals call it sweet, some call it insane. i just simply can't help it. i know the sands of the hourglass are running low...the days for me to dress them as a set are numbered as they should be. i am soaking up the smocking and coordinating color palettes, though, as long as i can.
the parent trap effect is purely my fault. as much as i would like to blame the crazies for saying the iconic things they do, i have to take the blame upon myself. at least my kiddos are picture-ready regardless:)
while these kiddos are often in his and her custom clothing, they are living their precious lives on different planets for the most part. i guess she is the yin to his yang and vice versa. i have to remind myself that god blessed me with 2 separate, distinct beings at once. 2 bodies, 2 hearts, 2 sets of hands and 2 sets of feet and so on.
the day he did so, everything in life became times 2! i know our lord is just laughing away at wrong way routes our family takes on a daily basis. at least we can find 1/2 of our children at the end of one road...and the other half on the next....
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
the tale of the broken baguette...
this past week, i have been running about town like a decapitated chicken. i am not saying this to get a chuckle or two. i say it because it is simply so. my feet are meandering down one path and my body and mind another. i feel as .though it must be friday...and it's tuesday.
being a mommy of multiples, this probably sounds like it should be nothing new. however, i feel that though days are crazy because everything that happens is "times 2", our daily life IS actually quite regimented and routine. do deviations from the mundane occur? sure. the consecutive nature and concept though of the twins' schedule though remain.
whenever i get a little bit crazy and pitch our routine out the window, i swear it bites me in my granny-panty-wearing read end. yesterday is exhibit A of that fact...
before heading to heaven (aka: one of their grandparents' homes), i decided to treat the babies to one of their favorite outings. the lovely people at our publix love the babies and vice versa. why in the world do the twins love it so? hmmmmm...perhaps it's the chain reaction of bribery gifts they receive. the suckers...the free cookie...the balloons...the random item they grab that ultimately goes home with us so that we make it out of the store without a tantrum (i.e. dish towels, bags of straws, tampon boxes with "colors" inside...i guess they kind of look like what we color with)....the list of things i, along with the publix army of happiness, lure the kiddos with is endless. it's the happiest place on earth, folks.
after our trip to freaking disneyland, i dropped the little bits off at their gigi's a bit before lunch. they were going to stay away for the remainder of the day in order for me to cook, run to nashville, etc for their daddy's birthday. while they love to errand run with their mommy, i just thought i could move mucho faster without 4 extra feet. i know you are all thinking "wow, how nice....a whole day for maggie without kids. she can just toodle about selfishly not thinking about a thing". you all are wrong. just so you know...
from stuffing 37 spinach stuffed shells to driving to nashville for a 2-second cake pick up, the day flew by. i was having heart palpitations on and off. i figured between st thomas, baptist, and centennial hospital, though, i had many places i could go to in case of an immediate emergency. i was moving from stop to stop like a freaking robot. i remember thinking i needed to go to the bathroom around noon and i forgot until around 4 once i got home. lovely.
let me shortly backtrack (see, i get moving and typing and forget the point of this poignant entry). since i opted for an italian menu for the birthday boy, i tried 3 different places in search of italian/cheese-infused bread. whole foods, nothing. great harvest in green hills, closed. great harvest in murfreesboro, my desired loaf sold moments prior to my arrival.
my search of yummy yeast products was obviously not going well so i chose to give kroger a shot. bingo! after choosing 3 different types that would coordinate well with our menu, one of which being a 3 foot long baguette, i scrambled to a self-check isle. i knew that i, mommy of twins and super birthday-giving wife, would be the only one to bag such bread properly.
as i walked out to my car, i noticed the bag with the bread had a seam that was perforated. i could see the car from where i was....to get there, would be like getting to the finish line! i KNEW i could bust through that flagged finish line tape before the bag seam ripped completely. moments later i made it....yes!
as i loaded my bags into the car, however, my beautiful race to the finish line became a memory soiled. as i lifted my last bag into the passenger seat, my gorgeous baguette flipped out of it and fell to the parking lot. the lovely loaf became 2 lovely loaves. what's a grown woman to do.....cry.
when i say i began to cry, this is an understatement. the flood gates hath opened, dear friends. my departure from the crazy rituals my twin toddlers embark on my day seemed like nothing compared to this moment of sadness with my baguette. if anyone saw me yesterday in that parking lot, they knew to not come near.
here is the moral of my story if there is one. even though life with twins is not easy, it is my life and a life i have grown very comfortable with. i am less awkward toting two 25-pounders on each hip than i am carrying a 1-pound loaf of french bread. is that odd, sure. but as the french say, c'est la vie!
being a mommy of multiples, this probably sounds like it should be nothing new. however, i feel that though days are crazy because everything that happens is "times 2", our daily life IS actually quite regimented and routine. do deviations from the mundane occur? sure. the consecutive nature and concept though of the twins' schedule though remain.
whenever i get a little bit crazy and pitch our routine out the window, i swear it bites me in my granny-panty-wearing read end. yesterday is exhibit A of that fact...
before heading to heaven (aka: one of their grandparents' homes), i decided to treat the babies to one of their favorite outings. the lovely people at our publix love the babies and vice versa. why in the world do the twins love it so? hmmmmm...perhaps it's the chain reaction of bribery gifts they receive. the suckers...the free cookie...the balloons...the random item they grab that ultimately goes home with us so that we make it out of the store without a tantrum (i.e. dish towels, bags of straws, tampon boxes with "colors" inside...i guess they kind of look like what we color with)....the list of things i, along with the publix army of happiness, lure the kiddos with is endless. it's the happiest place on earth, folks.
after our trip to freaking disneyland, i dropped the little bits off at their gigi's a bit before lunch. they were going to stay away for the remainder of the day in order for me to cook, run to nashville, etc for their daddy's birthday. while they love to errand run with their mommy, i just thought i could move mucho faster without 4 extra feet. i know you are all thinking "wow, how nice....a whole day for maggie without kids. she can just toodle about selfishly not thinking about a thing". you all are wrong. just so you know...
from stuffing 37 spinach stuffed shells to driving to nashville for a 2-second cake pick up, the day flew by. i was having heart palpitations on and off. i figured between st thomas, baptist, and centennial hospital, though, i had many places i could go to in case of an immediate emergency. i was moving from stop to stop like a freaking robot. i remember thinking i needed to go to the bathroom around noon and i forgot until around 4 once i got home. lovely.
let me shortly backtrack (see, i get moving and typing and forget the point of this poignant entry). since i opted for an italian menu for the birthday boy, i tried 3 different places in search of italian/cheese-infused bread. whole foods, nothing. great harvest in green hills, closed. great harvest in murfreesboro, my desired loaf sold moments prior to my arrival.
my search of yummy yeast products was obviously not going well so i chose to give kroger a shot. bingo! after choosing 3 different types that would coordinate well with our menu, one of which being a 3 foot long baguette, i scrambled to a self-check isle. i knew that i, mommy of twins and super birthday-giving wife, would be the only one to bag such bread properly.
as i walked out to my car, i noticed the bag with the bread had a seam that was perforated. i could see the car from where i was....to get there, would be like getting to the finish line! i KNEW i could bust through that flagged finish line tape before the bag seam ripped completely. moments later i made it....yes!
as i loaded my bags into the car, however, my beautiful race to the finish line became a memory soiled. as i lifted my last bag into the passenger seat, my gorgeous baguette flipped out of it and fell to the parking lot. the lovely loaf became 2 lovely loaves. what's a grown woman to do.....cry.
when i say i began to cry, this is an understatement. the flood gates hath opened, dear friends. my departure from the crazy rituals my twin toddlers embark on my day seemed like nothing compared to this moment of sadness with my baguette. if anyone saw me yesterday in that parking lot, they knew to not come near.
here is the moral of my story if there is one. even though life with twins is not easy, it is my life and a life i have grown very comfortable with. i am less awkward toting two 25-pounders on each hip than i am carrying a 1-pound loaf of french bread. is that odd, sure. but as the french say, c'est la vie!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
no badge earned...
let's just call a spade a spade, shall we. notice i just put a period rather than opting for a question mark at the end of my lead sentence. there is a reason.
this past weekend, the fam ventured off to monteagle. if you are not from tennessee, you may or may not have heard of this slice of wilderness heaven nestled off I-24. from appreciative architecture to the lush, green landscape, this place is a save-the-earth haven for those who love the great outdoors. the air, itself, just makes you effortlessly relaxed as soon as you hop out of your car on arrival.....unless, you are me.
are you familiar with the oscar-worthy epic entitled legally blonde? if so, you will recall the martin scorscese-esque moment when elle woods waltzes into her first law school class. she pops out her hot pink spiral notebook and pen with furry end. she does not blend in with the academia-ridden locals in her class one bit. she sticks out, not in a good way, from the moment her manolos entered the land of law. fast forward to the tree-hugging, peace/love/happiness land of monteagle, tennessee and insert maggie parsley.
now, i had the best weekend ever because the company made it perfection....somehow. the crew we trekked up with knew the area like the back of their hand. since these families call this place their second home, my unnaturalness stuck out like a sore thumb. i couldn't even pretend to waltz around like the other mommas there. their nativeness to the area made them appear like cool, chic, girl scout models. they owned their wilderness ways and to me, appeared to do everything from cooking to mothering to packing in a perfect "10" manner.
the group cooked, picnicked (bet you didn't know that was a verb), visited, played, lounged, etc....it was a weekend full of the nothingness we all needed. we were up on a mountain closer to our god and were able to TRULY enjoy some of the companions he has blessed our lives with along the way. we were one with our environment...a holy & heavenly bonnaroo if you will...
....away from work
...away from the middle tennessee gossip
...away from familiar grocery store runs for food we don't need
...away from the usmagazine news that reminds us how unfamous we are
...away from our daily calendar reminders and rigid business and/or parenting routines
if you all could have witnessed the weekend of absolute fun, you would have said that if it was a competition i would have come in dead last. i didn't even earn a "thank you for participating" ribbon. thankfully, there was no competitive edginess at all. everyone just enjoyed everyone....what a gift on mother's day! instead of judgment about how un-monteagle this mommy is, my friends just gave me a side hug when i had my one minor come apart and poured me a glass of vino to relax me a bit.
while i didn't earn a badge to add to my ugly brown sash, i did earn a ton of respect for my dear friends that do these trips with style. maybe at the next ceremony, i will at least be made into a brownie en route to girl scout superiority. for now, i will sing "make new friends but keep the old...one is silver and the other gold" in a round....
this past weekend, the fam ventured off to monteagle. if you are not from tennessee, you may or may not have heard of this slice of wilderness heaven nestled off I-24. from appreciative architecture to the lush, green landscape, this place is a save-the-earth haven for those who love the great outdoors. the air, itself, just makes you effortlessly relaxed as soon as you hop out of your car on arrival.....unless, you are me.
are you familiar with the oscar-worthy epic entitled legally blonde? if so, you will recall the martin scorscese-esque moment when elle woods waltzes into her first law school class. she pops out her hot pink spiral notebook and pen with furry end. she does not blend in with the academia-ridden locals in her class one bit. she sticks out, not in a good way, from the moment her manolos entered the land of law. fast forward to the tree-hugging, peace/love/happiness land of monteagle, tennessee and insert maggie parsley.
now, i had the best weekend ever because the company made it perfection....somehow. the crew we trekked up with knew the area like the back of their hand. since these families call this place their second home, my unnaturalness stuck out like a sore thumb. i couldn't even pretend to waltz around like the other mommas there. their nativeness to the area made them appear like cool, chic, girl scout models. they owned their wilderness ways and to me, appeared to do everything from cooking to mothering to packing in a perfect "10" manner.
the group cooked, picnicked (bet you didn't know that was a verb), visited, played, lounged, etc....it was a weekend full of the nothingness we all needed. we were up on a mountain closer to our god and were able to TRULY enjoy some of the companions he has blessed our lives with along the way. we were one with our environment...a holy & heavenly bonnaroo if you will...
....away from work
...away from the middle tennessee gossip
...away from familiar grocery store runs for food we don't need
...away from the usmagazine news that reminds us how unfamous we are
...away from our daily calendar reminders and rigid business and/or parenting routines
if you all could have witnessed the weekend of absolute fun, you would have said that if it was a competition i would have come in dead last. i didn't even earn a "thank you for participating" ribbon. thankfully, there was no competitive edginess at all. everyone just enjoyed everyone....what a gift on mother's day! instead of judgment about how un-monteagle this mommy is, my friends just gave me a side hug when i had my one minor come apart and poured me a glass of vino to relax me a bit.
while i didn't earn a badge to add to my ugly brown sash, i did earn a ton of respect for my dear friends that do these trips with style. maybe at the next ceremony, i will at least be made into a brownie en route to girl scout superiority. for now, i will sing "make new friends but keep the old...one is silver and the other gold" in a round....
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| miss minnie |
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| tully & stones |
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| venturing away |
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| minnie's version of "cheese" with daddy & brother |
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
they win every time...
yesterday was a typical day. 3 meals down...2 active babes....1 good nap...and a partridge in a pear tree.
i was happy. the babies were happy. therefore, the parsley universe was peaceful. maybe there was one minor meltdown because mommy wouldn't hand over the bubble wand, but besides that a pretty darn good report was given to daddy once he got home from work.
after bartering with tully to take one more bite of dinner in exchange for a slice and bake cookie (ain't no "from scratch" baking kind of day), ben and i ventured on our nightly walk the kiddies through the neighborhood.
we went up and down each walkway and caveat we could find. we wobbled through tall grass and ducked tree limbs that jutted out, smiling big at our newfound agility. we even licked lots of dirty rocks out of curiosity for how one of those yummy, smooth, stone-colored thingies would taste ....well, "we" didn't do that.
once we got to the fountain in the epicenter of our neighborhood, ben and i had thought the babes would just sit and stare in awe of its glory until we directed them back towards our journey home. heavenly daisy, were we wrong! the parsley twins tag-teamed one another in throwing rocks in the fountain, running in and out of its spray, and any other mischief they could get into while mommy and daddy were chasing and scolding their mischievous counterpart. these toddlers made us look insane...plain and simple.
the defeat we felt is nothing new. our little ones can have us feeling so much anger and frustration one minute and then the next, they can have us eating partially-gnawed animal cookies out of their squishy hands. they know mommy and daddy's buttons at only 20 months of age. how is that?
i have attempted quite a few feats throughout the past decade or so...and "failed". lovely examples are as follows:
~i headed off to college in birmingham after graduating high school in attempts to follow in my bright and beautiful older sister's footsteps only to realize that i had guessed wrong. i was a ut gal living in a baptist world at samford...we just didn't mix.
~i majored in journalism later on because i thought i was going to be the next katie couric only the come to the realization that my voice is too "conetry" and i was afraid of the camera.
~i then toodled off to memphis for law school where sporting a pink suit like elle woods was not a reality. ask my fellow classmates how i handled the stress:)
these incidents are now of the past and have made me stronger.....blah, blah, blah. honestly, each of those memories obviously stuck out in my mind enough for me to remember them so vividly many twists and turns later. the funny thing, though, about "losing" in the parenting game unlike the other instances is that everyone, both child and parent, come out as winners as cheesy as this conclusion may sound.
as the four of us meandered back home last night, i couldn't help but realize that the 4 of us were so dang lucky. as i was looking down at minnie as she nibbled on my necklace, i glanced back to see ben hoisting tully up on his shoulders (tully was screaming out of anger for a good minute or so but that ruins the hallmark image i am attempting to portray).
while my children definitely seem to win most battles these days, i don't mind handing over a temporary trophy to them for the time being. as long as they turn out halfway normal, decently attractive, and evidence of god's glory, this momma is a winner in her own book. winner, winner chicken dinner!
i was happy. the babies were happy. therefore, the parsley universe was peaceful. maybe there was one minor meltdown because mommy wouldn't hand over the bubble wand, but besides that a pretty darn good report was given to daddy once he got home from work.
after bartering with tully to take one more bite of dinner in exchange for a slice and bake cookie (ain't no "from scratch" baking kind of day), ben and i ventured on our nightly walk the kiddies through the neighborhood.
we went up and down each walkway and caveat we could find. we wobbled through tall grass and ducked tree limbs that jutted out, smiling big at our newfound agility. we even licked lots of dirty rocks out of curiosity for how one of those yummy, smooth, stone-colored thingies would taste ....well, "we" didn't do that.
once we got to the fountain in the epicenter of our neighborhood, ben and i had thought the babes would just sit and stare in awe of its glory until we directed them back towards our journey home. heavenly daisy, were we wrong! the parsley twins tag-teamed one another in throwing rocks in the fountain, running in and out of its spray, and any other mischief they could get into while mommy and daddy were chasing and scolding their mischievous counterpart. these toddlers made us look insane...plain and simple.
the defeat we felt is nothing new. our little ones can have us feeling so much anger and frustration one minute and then the next, they can have us eating partially-gnawed animal cookies out of their squishy hands. they know mommy and daddy's buttons at only 20 months of age. how is that?
i have attempted quite a few feats throughout the past decade or so...and "failed". lovely examples are as follows:
~i headed off to college in birmingham after graduating high school in attempts to follow in my bright and beautiful older sister's footsteps only to realize that i had guessed wrong. i was a ut gal living in a baptist world at samford...we just didn't mix.
~i majored in journalism later on because i thought i was going to be the next katie couric only the come to the realization that my voice is too "conetry" and i was afraid of the camera.
~i then toodled off to memphis for law school where sporting a pink suit like elle woods was not a reality. ask my fellow classmates how i handled the stress:)
these incidents are now of the past and have made me stronger.....blah, blah, blah. honestly, each of those memories obviously stuck out in my mind enough for me to remember them so vividly many twists and turns later. the funny thing, though, about "losing" in the parenting game unlike the other instances is that everyone, both child and parent, come out as winners as cheesy as this conclusion may sound.
as the four of us meandered back home last night, i couldn't help but realize that the 4 of us were so dang lucky. as i was looking down at minnie as she nibbled on my necklace, i glanced back to see ben hoisting tully up on his shoulders (tully was screaming out of anger for a good minute or so but that ruins the hallmark image i am attempting to portray).
while my children definitely seem to win most battles these days, i don't mind handing over a temporary trophy to them for the time being. as long as they turn out halfway normal, decently attractive, and evidence of god's glory, this momma is a winner in her own book. winner, winner chicken dinner!
Saturday, May 5, 2012
may 5th...
when particular milestones are reached in life, i think it is natural to make a new resolution, have periods of reflection, examine the what-ifs, etc. marking the 5th anniversary of "Cinco de Marriage" (the day ben and moi got hitched) is following suit in that tradition.
i have thought about so much this week leading up to this particular nickeled moment in mine and ben's marriage...
~what single life felt like compared to companionism for eternity
~what we used to do before our days filled up with diapers and the wiggles
~what it felt like to eat a meal slowed down by sipping on a good pinot rather than throwing down a meal in 5 seconds with tums and lemon water
~how getting ready for a hot date took a good hour or two of primping instead spritzing on febreeze and calling it your new "scent"
honestly, the list of thoughts could go on and on. i will not bore you, however, on this beautiful spring day with the ins and outs of my looney mind. no matter if you're single. no matter if you're a sexy newlywed who has just put on 10 pounds of new happiness. no matter if you are thrice divorced with a litter of little ones ranging from 20 years to 20 months. wherever you currently are on your life's journey, you are constantly evaluating AND re-evaluating. i would like to tell you i have found a new solution to copy and paste to your own life, but i ain't got nothing!
sure, we would all like to claim that appreciating god's gifts in our lives and basking in his glory is exactly how we live. but if we were to wipe off our mascara, take off our uncomfortable spanx that we claim ARE comfy (don't lie), slide into those jeans that you never dry and do the splits in to stretch em' out a bit, and be raw and real we would all say that our thoughts and perception on our own life is a roller coaster.
the past 5 years for me has been that way. sometimes their are loops of happiness. sometimes there are steep falls that i can't wait to rise back up from. sometimes, the whole darn roller coaster gets stuck and i can't do a dang thing until someone helps get the sucker get to moving again. thankfully, it does start moving. thankfully, others are riding alongside with you. thankfully, god is the seatbelt throughout the ride. thankfully, there is xanax and good wine....totally kidding.
no matter if you are single, married, divorced, or a combination of those labels, all we can do is look at where we are aand keep doing what is working and toss out what isn't. you can't do that instantaneously. it takes time. life takes time. love takes time. i am thankful i have twins because OF love. if i had given up, i would not have a marriage. i would not have babies. i would not have who i am today.
i have thought about so much this week leading up to this particular nickeled moment in mine and ben's marriage...
~what single life felt like compared to companionism for eternity
~what we used to do before our days filled up with diapers and the wiggles
~what it felt like to eat a meal slowed down by sipping on a good pinot rather than throwing down a meal in 5 seconds with tums and lemon water
~how getting ready for a hot date took a good hour or two of primping instead spritzing on febreeze and calling it your new "scent"
honestly, the list of thoughts could go on and on. i will not bore you, however, on this beautiful spring day with the ins and outs of my looney mind. no matter if you're single. no matter if you're a sexy newlywed who has just put on 10 pounds of new happiness. no matter if you are thrice divorced with a litter of little ones ranging from 20 years to 20 months. wherever you currently are on your life's journey, you are constantly evaluating AND re-evaluating. i would like to tell you i have found a new solution to copy and paste to your own life, but i ain't got nothing!
sure, we would all like to claim that appreciating god's gifts in our lives and basking in his glory is exactly how we live. but if we were to wipe off our mascara, take off our uncomfortable spanx that we claim ARE comfy (don't lie), slide into those jeans that you never dry and do the splits in to stretch em' out a bit, and be raw and real we would all say that our thoughts and perception on our own life is a roller coaster.
the past 5 years for me has been that way. sometimes their are loops of happiness. sometimes there are steep falls that i can't wait to rise back up from. sometimes, the whole darn roller coaster gets stuck and i can't do a dang thing until someone helps get the sucker get to moving again. thankfully, it does start moving. thankfully, others are riding alongside with you. thankfully, god is the seatbelt throughout the ride. thankfully, there is xanax and good wine....totally kidding.
no matter if you are single, married, divorced, or a combination of those labels, all we can do is look at where we are aand keep doing what is working and toss out what isn't. you can't do that instantaneously. it takes time. life takes time. love takes time. i am thankful i have twins because OF love. if i had given up, i would not have a marriage. i would not have babies. i would not have who i am today.
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| october 2008 |
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| fall 2009 |
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| june 2010 |
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| september 2010 |
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| september 2011 |
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| april 2012 |
Thursday, May 3, 2012
hawaii continued...just another day in paradise...
i told you already, i could have many-a-blog entries regarding my recent hawaiian vacay. however, all it would do would make us all feel pale, cold, and a wee bit depressed. so, i promise this entry shall be my last one. then, aloha, i will say to my trip....
as i said before, it was simply a great getaway. while my fam was not there, it was a good mental departure from the "double" life i lead at home with the twins. i thought it would feel "unnatural" without having to do the typical meals, diaper changes, etc....but i slipped back into life as it was pre-twins rather easily. i soaked up the relaxation along with the sun. i ate lovely, island dinners in peace without sharing food with 2 sets of little, stubby fingers grabbing at my plate. i even got in a couple of good reading sessions without babbling interruptions. it.........was.........a......lovely......experience.
i truly believe our god made hawaii to help us breathe. i swear you couldn't be unhappy for very long in this majestic place. i took moments to reflect back at how quickly life passes & changes. while i am happy to wake up to each new day as a mommy and to get through tough milestones, i am sad to witness the twins age and grow up and "not be babies". not only are they getting older, but WE mommies are aging as well. not sure which fact makes me tear up more:)
we are growing. they are growing. we are changing. they are changing. i hope, though, that paradise stays the same so that the parsley family can experience it together one day.....
as i said before, it was simply a great getaway. while my fam was not there, it was a good mental departure from the "double" life i lead at home with the twins. i thought it would feel "unnatural" without having to do the typical meals, diaper changes, etc....but i slipped back into life as it was pre-twins rather easily. i soaked up the relaxation along with the sun. i ate lovely, island dinners in peace without sharing food with 2 sets of little, stubby fingers grabbing at my plate. i even got in a couple of good reading sessions without babbling interruptions. it.........was.........a......lovely......experience.
i truly believe our god made hawaii to help us breathe. i swear you couldn't be unhappy for very long in this majestic place. i took moments to reflect back at how quickly life passes & changes. while i am happy to wake up to each new day as a mommy and to get through tough milestones, i am sad to witness the twins age and grow up and "not be babies". not only are they getting older, but WE mommies are aging as well. not sure which fact makes me tear up more:)
we are growing. they are growing. we are changing. they are changing. i hope, though, that paradise stays the same so that the parsley family can experience it together one day.....
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