Moms Just Know

Today was the last day of soccer. Our coach didn’t make it, this time due to an injury in the family. I actually had to be the coach for the entire day. There was also no super-uber-coach/mom in the audience that would swoop down and save me. I did it all alone. But, that is not even what I wanted to post about. Maybe another time though because it was amazing.

What I wanted to write about happened right after soccer. Today was Rylie’s turn to bring treats to her team. She was so excited. We planned all week and finally ended up with Rice Krispie treats and apples, a nice balance of nutrition and complete lack thereof.

The sad thing is that her team, in the excitement of the moment, last day of soccer and all, ran off without partaking of her goodies.

She was heartbroken.

We gathered up her uneaten bag of deliciousness and proceeded to the car. I tossed her empty water bottle, that for some reason I was carrying, in the bag to free up one of my hands so I could tuck her under my wing, pat her sweaty little head, and explain about life and the way things work. All the while reassuring her that there would surely come another day that she could share her generosity with someone.

The kiddos piled in the car and I pulled the handle on the van door to make it snap into action and close itself. Then I stuck my arm in to drop the bag of goodies into her lap so she could help herself and serve her eager sisters a Krispie treat.

As I did that the empty water bottle jumped itself right out of the bag onto my foot and tried to roll under the van. I bent to grab it and tried to throw it back in the van before the door closed, severing a much needed appendage.

It was pretty close, but I made it.

Apparently my super hero antics scared the wits out of the children.

I jumped in the driver’s seat ready to move along (completely oblivious to the trauma I had just caused the kidlets)and Paige says from behind me, “ Mom, we thought you were going to die just now.”

Just then a lovely lady with several hundred children walked past and I nonchalantly (trying to be funny and lighthearted at an inappropriate time) said, “Well, this lady looks lovely, I bet she would have taken you home with her.”

Paigie immediately replied, “But she wouldn’t know what we like!”

Light bulb moment.

Isn’t that what it boils down to, really? Moms just know what we like.

She knows the kind of blanket we need to sleep. She knows our favorite color, food, book and toy. She knows that when we wake up in the night it is that certain special song, hummed so quietly in our ear, that will lull us back to slumber.

She knows what size shoes we wear and that we like to wear them with our socks wrong side out so the seams don’t rub on our baby toes.

She knows that we like to name all our babies Apple , except for the ones named Mary and Joseph.

She knows that we don’t like sour cream on our potato, but that our sister does (and that our other sister also likes cheese on hers). She knows that we like the crusts cut off our PB&J sandwiches and that we love “wrapper cheese” on our grilled cheese even though everyone else likes “real“ cheese. She knows that we like our hot dogs plain and that our little sister likes hers without a bun. She knows that Laffy Taffy is our favorite goody, closely followed by purple Sweetarts.

She knows our favorite thing to do with our spare time and can think of alternate plans when that favorite thing seems a little less favorite, at least for right now.

She knows that we don’t like it that we can’t see the moon from our bed since we moved it to the other side of the room.

She knows that sometimes we get in a bad mood and she knows the things we like and need to hear to make us feel better. She also knows that sometimes there is nothing she can say, we just need to figure it out on our own. Luckily, she also knows that we like hugs best, while our sister prefers a little kiss on the head, when words can’t do the trick.

She knows our best friend, and also knows that friend sometimes drives us crazy. She also knows we like to talk about it but don’t always like advice.

She knows that when we are sick we like the medicine that tastes like bubble gum much better than the grape kind , and she knows that we like (okay, LOVE) being tickled on the back and arms, and that to us , that is the best thing in the world and that it will always make us feel better (no matter what).

Apparently, it was a close call today, but I am really glad the van didn’t beat me because Paige was right. That lady, as lovely as she seemed, would not have known what my kids like at all.

I do though.

I do because that is my job, and as far as I am concerned, I have the best job in the universe.

Being the COACH

So, as it turns out, when you are an assistant coach you sometimes have to BE THE COACH when the REAL coach doesn't show.

Yep. That’s what happened. Coach emailed me minutes before I walked out the door to the last game. She had family issues that prevented her from coming.

Uhhhh, ya. Now what?

In full panic mode I somehow made it to the ball field to handle the 11 little monkeys, er, Dragons ALONE. One by one they began arriving. Each arrival brought only more worry but I was determined to not let the Blue Dragons down. Wasn't gonna happen, not on my watch.

So I did what any good person would do when they don’t actually have a clue what to do but don’t want anyone else to know that, I picked up the ball bag and a bag with some cones and set to work.

I made some stuff up and, by sheer miracle, remembered some stuff from last week. I have to say our coach must be really good at teaching even the most un-sportsinclined (meaning me) or I am a soccer savant, because I was spewing things like "What must our hands never do?" then all the Blue Dragons shouted in unison, "Touch the ball”.

Yes, it was working.

I set up the cones and had them run the ball through them. It was spectacular. Then I had to tend to one of my very own personal children for a second and asked the sole mother I could identify if she could hold down the fort (which translates to - make sure no one escapes or gets trampled while they chase the ball through the cones) for two minutes while I inquired about something.

Turns out this lady is a super-uber-coach and was nice enough to not notice/care I had returned and took over the entire rest of the day for me! Wasn’t that wonderful???

So I was back at my post of manning the side lines and listening to all the Dragon news and information ,while the new self-appointed substitute coach ran up and down the field with the little bitty’s shouting things like “Keep your eye on the ball” and "Good Defense" and other useful prompts that would have never known to make there way from my lips.

When the game was long over one little blue dragon came up to me and said “ What I want to know is, who won?”

And the other lady quickly responded “ We did, because you were such a good sport and had such a fun time. When you do hard things and have fun doing them, you are a winner!”

I think that means I am a winner, too.

Back in business ....and The most HYSTERICAL thing in the world

Well, I have tried (many times, too) to think of a way to write what an incredible summer we had. I kept thinking I had to do that in order to start blogging again. You know, since there is an undeniable (huge) empty spot between getting a puppy and now. Rest assured, that hole is only on my blog, not in my life, there is no empty spot here.

Since I cannot possibly find the words to say how much I loved this amazing summer of camping and playing and,well, just life, I guess I will save it for another day. I am sure the words will come to me once I get more practice at using them again.


We are back in school after taking the summer off and are loving it. The summer off has worked the opposite of usual. It seems to have refreshed everyone enough that the subjects have embedded themselves further into their minds and they actually REMEMBER EVERYTHING from the end of the year! It is wonderful. We were able to dive right in and have not spent much time re-hashing old info at all.

The three younger kiddos are in soccer. There is a homeschool soccer league here where we live that is fabulous... which leads me to the most hysterical thing of all...I am an assistant coach.

I will now take a moment for you to laugh....

Better now? Okay.

The lady that started the league said she was short a few coaches and the words " I will help" popped out before I could even help myself. They were luckily followed quickly by " I don’t know a thing about soccer, except you kick a ball around , but I could set up cones or something..."
She nicely replied, “you could be an ASSISTANT coach then" and smiled politely.

She was very smart and put me with the four and five year olds.

They don’t need much help from me other than a good job cheer every once in awhile. I catch the ball ( usually...)when the coach tosses it back from the goal and then place it in front of the next kid to kick into the goal when we are practicing. I run after the ball when they kick it clear into the nether regions of our practice area. I listen while they all tell me how fast they can run, what their favorite color is, how their little brother can't play soccer because he isn't fast enough yet since he is still a baby, and pretty much everything else they might want to say at any moment.

I tried to help pick a name for our team, they were suggesting things like blue snakes, blue dragons, blue transformers, and yellow snakes (which is funny cause we are a blue team...that would have been a little confusing). I suggested blue butterflies which didn't even warrant a response other then hysterical laughter from everyone.

I also help them listen for when the coach calls them into the game. If it weren’t for me they would get so caught up in tossing the dried clumps of freshly mowed grass that they would miss the entire game.


So there you have it, you have had your chuckle for the day,at my expense, yes, but with my permission. That makes all the difference.

Me, a soccer coach, assistant or otherwise…. Now THAT’S a good one.

Oh, by the way, we are the Blue Dragons.