When life hands you lemons, make lemon shaved ice.

Went ice skating today. Alone. In the afternoon. Despite having lost my punch card. The place was over crowded. The ice was awful ... carved up with tons of shavings piled up. My knee felt stiff and a little achy. And as I stepped out onto it, all my cares melted away.

Something about being on the ice makes me feel like a 10 year old again. Is it the uncertainty of reaching out and grasping nothing but air? The brisk chill emanating from the surface that causes my nose to get red? The fear of falling and getting a big wet spot on my bum? The delight of finding new ways to work my body?

Whatever it is, I cease to worry about all the adult things in my life, and bend my thoughts to more immediate concerns: moving to the music, avoiding crashing into other skaters, and staying upright. And, as I concentrate on skating, life seems to shift into sharper focus. Answers to questions present themselves effortlessly for my approval. Dramatic situations turn comedic,causing my to laugh out loud. Sweet memories bring a smile to my face. And I can live entirely in the present and enjoy it. The present ... what a gift.

Stopped after an hour. Already I feel the beginning of a small blister on my left ankle. And I'm sore. However, as I exit the rink, I carry a brisk glow in my heart that delights in the face of the California sun.

A Swinging Christmas

After a very long dry spell, this has been a swinging week. Danced at Paladino's on Tuesday. Then, went over to Pasadena for the Lindy Groove Christmas party ... one of those bi-annual parties where they host live music. This week was Barbara Morrison and the Geoffry Aymar band. Absolutely fabulous. Met up with some old swing friends, and made some new ones.

I say swing friends as opposed to just friends because it's a strange community for me. It's a diverse crowd; actors, architects, optometrists, receptionists, computer game programmers, consultants, social workers, firemen, web designers, nurses, doctors, retirees, students, professors, event planners, etc etc. Generally swing friends, except for maybe a couple, don't cross over into other areas of my life. When I go dancing, it's ALL about the dancing. I don't want to chitchat. I don't want to try refreshments. I don't want to bother with small talk. I just want to dance. And if I'm too out of breath to dance, I want to watch. It's not as if I'm ever really in the mood for small talk ... I get this from my mother. Generally I can tolerate chitchat when social situations require it, but I just have no patience for it when the music's on.

When the music's on, I just want to move to it, and discover those magical places where creativity blooms in the space between me and my partner. It's not about the huge aerials or flashy moves. What I crave are those smooth moves and the plays on rhythm and breaks that are so delicious within a tight partnership; those times when I can't help but widen my eyes and compliment my partner on some great move, and vice versa. So much of what I love about partner dancing are those little moments of spontaneous creation ... like an inside joke that only we get.

It was a fantastic night. I wore my lucky skirt (with the fringe!), and danced to my heart's content. I tore myself away when my cheeks started feeling cramped from smiling all night. WHen I got to the car, it was 0030! Today I'm back at work, feeling a little worse for the wear on only four hours of sleep ... but even then, I can't regret it.

Cooperative Christmas Caper

Apartment Christmas party. In lieu of the large party, we decided to have a dinner with the people we like the most. So, besides Wonder Woman and Perky, we also had BFF, Pilgrim girl, Nichan, C & E, Mrs. Activities, Mr. Baritone, Son of a Pitch, FGITW, Bigggie D, Precious, Superman, PTPhD, Press-art, Lovely Lady, Karaoke dentist, Party girl, Filmfan, Boo Radley. Twenty two people counting the children. It was madness trying to get everyone seated, especially as I had miscounted ... or rather, not counted the children as needing chairs!

The "cooperative" part was that everyone brought something ... appetizers, drinks, salad, soup, side dishes, main dishes, bread and butter, chairs, tables, and lots of pictures to share.

It was so nice to have some of our favorite people gathered in one place. Some we see every week, others we're lucky to see once a year. It's so good to have a chance to catch up, in person, while sharing food that everyone contributed toward. There is something vitalizing about sharing my life with loved ones. Not that accomplishments need to be validated by others to have significance ... I do very significant work everyday, that I rarely share with people outside of work. However, there is just something very affirming about sharing quality time with people I care about. As I keep reminding myself ... Life is good.

Enduring ... in the middle

So, in the spirit of trying to be more active in church, I attended my ward Christmas party. I even signed up to bring a dessert. Ballerina and the Dot were in charge, and for having two weeks to prepare, they did a fantastic job. However, sitting in the cultural hall, listening to mediocre karaoke and sitting with people that I am friendly (but not friends) with, I realized how unattached and lonely I feel when I attend church. Admittedly, the larger share of the blame rests on my own shoulders; I'm not a visiting teacher, I don't currently have a calling, and have been rather unenthusiastic about the ward. It's a circular argument ... do I feel alienated because I'm uninvolved, or vice versa? Is the feeling of not-belonging just in my head, or is it the reality of those who don't fit into prescribed roles, or a little of both? There are people who I like, in a rather distant way, but no one who I really connect with at church, although we may be very connected outside of church. All I know is that I feel much more alone and insignificant when I attend church then when I am actually alone.

After the entertainment ended, I was out the door. Headed over to the video rental store to get something to occupy my mind. Was in the checkout line when FGITW called to see if I wanted to catch a late night showing of Syriana. What a pick-me-up. Such a little thing ... a casual invitation to a movie, but it was a timely reminder that friendship surrounds me.

Got home and found a message ... BFF was on this side of town, and was wondering if I'd found the chili he left for me. (This was a relief ... when leaving for the ward party, I'd found a styrofoam container with red stuff inside, in my LOCKED car. Absolutely no idea who had put it there, and was a little freaked out. My first inclination was to toss it, but I confusedly stuck it in the fridge before dashing off to the dinner. He must have come by when I was in the shower, and apparently I had left my car door open ... or else he's really good with a Slim Jim.) He came over and chatted until it was time for me to leave for the movie.

It's in these small gestures (time spent together, long talks, Outhouse discussions, dinners, singing hymns) that I feel the good tidings of the gospel. It's why I've decided to try for more full activity in church. It's why I'm trying to endure in the middle, hoping that the end will be worth it.

BTW, the movie was good ... left me with more questions than answers. And I finished off the night with some tasty chicken chili.

Bookworm ...

So here's my list from 2005. Not as long as I expected. Some were absolutely fantastic, and some were ... not. Most of the ones I've linked, along with the rereads, I passed along to my work book club group. Discovered non-fiction this year.

2005 Book List

FICTION:
The Bell Jar, Plath
By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept, Coelho
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime,
Deception Point, Brown
The Lovely Bones, Sebold
Mrs. Dalloway, Woolfe
My Sister’s Keeper, Picoult
My Year of Meats, Ozeki
The Picture of Dorian Gray, Wilde
A Prayer for Owen Meany, Irving
The Princess Bride, Morgenstern
Rachel and Leah, Card
Shadow of the Giant, Card
Wiseblood, Flannery

NON-FICTTION:
Canaries on the Wind, Ward
David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism, Prince
Freakonomics, Levitt and Dubner
Funny in Farsi, Dumas
He’s Just Not That Into You, Behrendt and Tuccillo
Me Talk Pretty One Day, Sedaris
The Motorcycle Diaries, Guevara
Queen Bees and Wanna Bees, Wiseman
Rough Stone Rolling. Bushman
Schoolgirls, Orenstein

Currently reading:
Adam, Eve, and the Serpent, Pagels
Beyond Belief, Pagels
Exuberance, Jamison
Disciples, Okazaki
The Fox Woman, Johnson
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Sophie’s World, Gaarder
The World is Flat, Friedman

Reread Fiction:
Ahab’s Wife, Naslund
Bel Canto, Patchet
Blindness, Saramago
The Count of Monte Cristo, Dumas
Cyrano de Bergerac, Rostand
Ender’s Game, Card
Girl With a Pearl Earring, Chevalier
The Hours, Cunningham
In the Time of the Butterflies, Alvarez
Frankenstein, Shelley
Jane Eyre, Bronte
Mrs. Dalloway, Woolfe
Persuasion, Austen
The Red Tent, Diamant
Siddhartha, Hesse

Reread Non-fiction:
Color, Finlay
Complications, Gawande
Emperor of Scent, Burr
Refuge, Williams
Through Harsh Winters, Kikumura

A long walk down Memory Road

Have started the annual clean-up-for-New-Year's organizing orgy. It's one of those things that my grandma told me is traditional in Japan, but which I have a sneaking suspicion is pretty standard the world over. Started with my desk. Pens, markers, notecards, stationary, tape, and computer stuff all dug through, sorted and organized. Started going through the stuff on top of my filing cabinet and entered a time warp.

Found a notebook with notes, cards, letters and emails from my closest friends from school ... Pilgrim Girl, Yardstick Man, Sejin-a, Mr. Personality, Hwanger. Walked down Memory Road with a little more appreciation for these people who were such a huge part of my youth. Remembered all the fun times we'd had, as well as the painful ones. Refreshed my sense of continual discovery. And felt grateful that these wonderful people were there to share those times with me.

Of them all, I only still keep in touch with PG. Although I do confess to google-ing YM every couple of years. It's remarkably easy to do with lawyers. (Aside: Just to see, I tried to do it for myself on the California Nursing Board, but they don't allow searches for specific names, for which I'm actually glad.)

Spent the rest of the day working on a video chronicling the different things I've done this past year, and the good friends with which I've done these things. Travelled to San Francisco, SLC (x3), Yosemite, Havasupai and China. Played lots of Catan. Ate lots of good food. Met many new people. Renewed old friendships. Had to say goodbye to two friends, at least for a year. Tried some new sports. Read ... not as much as I would have liked, but more non-fiction than ever before. Learned a litle family history, and said goodbye to my grandma. Camped in a hotel. Celebrated weddings, births and birthdays.

Life really is good.

Even when I had finished the video, burnt a few dvd's, then found some clips that I thought I'd lost, but which had to be included in the dvd. Even then. Life is still beautiful.

The long hard week

It's been one of those weeks. One of those long, hard weeks that I'm glad to be done with. Of the four patients I took care of this week, two were taken off of life support. One expired shortly after the ETT was taken out ... but this was done on my one day off. The other continues to breathe, and will now have a life circumscribed by tubes, and constant care.

On the bright side, I did learn a lot about a devout Muslim family's regard and love of life. I did also take care of an adorable child whose prognosis is much better, and who charmed the blues right out of me. And, made friends with the social worker who was such a big help this past week. Besides all the professional help with the family, I also got a lot of tips on prepping to buy a house/condo. It's scary but exhilirating. Played Catan two nights in a row. AND, Perky is back from travelling. All in all, life is really good.

Hours and hours of church

Went to all three hours of church today. It's been a while. Anyway, have decided to come off the RS hiatus I've been on. This was a good week to start. The RS president gave a lesson on the life of Joseph Smith. It was a unique lesson in that she did it using a quilt that had been specially designed and made to represent his life.

Also went to the First Presidency Christmas Broadcast. The music was wonderfully warming. Maybe it's simplistic, but I feel the Spirit very strongly through music. The message that stood out the most to me was President Monson's admonition to think more about what we give this Christmas season, as opposed to what we get. Certainly as I've gotten wiser, the ability to give good gifts has been a source of joy. I'm getting excited just thinking about it!


Also, I have been contemplating a life with fewer things around. I look at the lives of ArM and RuM, Ni-chan and Pilgrim girl, and my parents, and realize again that material possessions do not a happy life make.

And as if that weren't enough church for one day, I also went to a fireside. Greg Prince, author of _David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism,_ spoke for a brief while, then answered questions from the audience. There were also some people in the audience who had some connection with McKay who also chimed in ... sometimes helpfully, sometimes not. Anyway, it was a fabulous fireside. I think this bio is one of the best books I've read all year. I was very impressed with Prince, and look forward to his future books. As if writing a fascinating book and conducting years of research and interviews weren't enough, he is also a businessman and a dentist. He acquitted himself very well on the podium, speaking intelliently and personably with the audience. I wish I had known about the fireside in advance. None of the Outhouse group were able to come on such short noice. However, I did get four people to come, so I feel not to badly about it.

Exploring the Armand Hammer (the museum, not the baking powder)

(Trying to make ourselves as big as possible)

After a late night phone call, and even later night texting, met up with BFF at the Armand Hammer Museum for a little free exploring. JLITH has been telling me to go for years. Took an early evening stroll in the brisk fall weather up to Westwood. Of note in the special exhibits were some woodblock prints by Hokusai (he makes water come alive) and Little Nemo comic strips by McCay. I also enjoyed some of the portraits in the permanent collection, especially the one of the elderly Russian peasant.

What do I know of art, though? It's such a subjective experience. I have never taken art history or appreciation courses. I just like what I like. For me, it's more the emotional pull and resonance than any specific type of technique.

My artistic likes:
Western portraiture that tells a story: Sargent, Cassatt, Rockwell
(children and comedy), Monet, Bouguereau, David, Rembrandt.
The weird and imaginative collages of David Ball David Ball. Like Monet, these have to be seen in person to get the full effect.
Pared down and thoughtful sketches
Eastern landscapes: most recently Li Huayi
Ancient textiles and statues ... generally from non-Western cultures.
Period costumes
Really sharp black and white narrative photography
Poetry that has a strict rubric and still manages to be beautiful: sonnets (esp: Will's CXVI), tanka (translations by Hirshfield) and haiku

Dislikes:
Asian portraiture
Western landscapes
Religious art that depicts a bloodless/dead Christ.
Minimalist art
Blank verse. Although I do like good prose.

One of my favorite places

It's a bit small, as apartments go ... although, it's rather large for an on-campus place. There are books wall to wall and even in shelves along the hall. Two kitties meander around; one very friendly and loves my purse, the other not so friendly, but immensely cute. Pictures of family and friends everywhere. A large kitchen table for eating, conversing and home-working over. Two comfy easy chairs. A plant that the kitties like to munch on. Two gifted, inquisitive and amicable children with parents to match. A place where conversation is thoughtful, passionate, inspiring, shared, kind, and enlightening. A place, in short, that feels like a second home ... a place of refuge. Where else could it be but the living room of my good friends Pilgrim girl and Ni-chan?

They gave me a copy of Exuberance: The Passion For Life. Turns out that Jamison is a MacArthur fellow. Just as in my conversation with LouAnn on planning travel around UNESCO World Heritage Sites, I think I will tailor my non-fiction reading list around MacArthur fellowship awardees

Not-so-random pitching

Went with Wonder Woman to see the Random Pitches perform over at the Visitor Center. In alphabetical order: JB.com, Little Voice, Mr. Baritone, Precious, Satine and White Boy. They are all so talented, although I must admit that Little Voice has an extra sparkle about her that makes me think she's had more musical theatre experience. It always amazes me how wonderful they sound. Makes me miss singing in church next to Precious ... I always sound better when I sing next to her. Numbers I particularly liked: Groovy, the Jungle Song, Prayer of the Children, I Saw Mommy, and Come Thou Fount.

Afterwards, a few of us we went to Shamshiri for some dinner. Good to catch up with Precious' mother and Co, who had extended their Thanksgiving stay in order to hear the Pitches. It makes me happy to see them so happy. Everyone had so much they wanted to say that I rather held my tongue throughout dinner, my eyes at times glazing over. Sometimes it's just good to allow people the time and space to just talk, and I was happy to oblige.

Quiz time

Friend quizzes are in the air. I love these cheesy quizzes ... can't resist those that come my way. Take mine and let me know how you did!

1 Dora loves to travel! Which city has she spent the least amount of time in?
A Tamarindo, Costa Rica
B Tokyo, Japan
C Munich, Germany
D Siem Reap, Cambodia

2 This one goes out to all the C&K cutthroats. What is Dora's first objective when sitting down to play Catan?
A Getting the paper metropolis
B Playing with the red pieces
C Having the largest army
D Trying to maneuver to use all 4 progress cards in one turn.

3 Which musical instrument has Dora spent the least amount of time playing?
A Flute
B Piano
C Recorder
D Clarinet

4 Lindy-hop is so groovy! Which is Dora's favorite song to lindy to?
A Jersey Bounce by Ella Fitzgerald
B My Baby Just Cares For Me by Nina Simone
C Fever by Peggy Lee or Michael Buble'
D Wade in the Water by Eva Cassidy

5 Which is Dora's favorite place to eat?
A Damon and Pythias
B Pizzicoto
C In-N-Out
D Clementine's

6 There is so much to learn in life! Which is the last class that Dora's taken?
A New Testament at the Institute
B Video editing at West LA College
C Easy Main Courses at Sur La Table
D Extra-Corporeal Membranous Oxygenation (ECMO) Update at work

7 Dora's a traditional kind of girl … sometimes. Which of the below are not one of her yearly traditions?
A Trip to Renaissance Faire
B Lake Arrowhead trip during the summer
C Get out of the country
D New Year's resolution list

8 Service is good. Which was Dora's favorite church calling?
A Activities Chair
B Ward Employment Specialist
C Gospel Doctrine Teacher
D Stake Missionary

9 If Dora were one of the Four Bikers of the Apocalypse (from Good Omens), who would she be?
A Buying gasoline
B Walking behind people walking slowly
C Staying in on a Saturday night
D Washing dishes manually

10 Where is Dora headed to in 2006?
A Turkey
B India
C Argentina
D Kenya

Mata-ne ...

Tonight was my Aunt Yo's last night in LA. It's been such a nostalgic visit. Aunt Yo brought old pictures and documents that she found while going through my grandmother's things. Old family black and white pictures; deeds, blueprints and layouts of houses my grandfather owned; my grandmother's handwritten (in Japanese) personal history; grandmother's calligraphy; etc etc. A lot of it I scanned onto Genie and Bork's computer, some of it I copied. Along with all of this were the reminiscences of my mother and aunt, stories I had never heard about philandering or embezzling great-uncles, love matches gone awry, headstrong and independent great-aunts; and my generous grandfather.

My aunt also brought tidings of my Uncle Yu; my charismatic, handsome and kind uncle. He is the only son of his parents, and the last to bear their name, as he has no children. Years ago, I worried about it, wondering who would carry on his business. It seems that my cousin HY has been helping out, which makes me happy. However, I wish Yu had an heir.

Aunt Yo also told us about her children, and grandchildren, which number three. They seem to be growing so fast. I and my father are the only ones in my family who have not seen them. Makes me contemplate taking a trip to see them this next year. It would also be nice to take a trip to the countryside and pay my respects to my grandparents at the family mausoleum.

Anyway, the memories have been shared, the omiage bought and packed, and family documents copied and stored.

Spork treated us to dinner at Traxx ... restaurant in Union Station. The food was surprisingly tasty and well presented, and the atmosphere was subdued and elegant. This could be one of my favorites. Also, Union Station was quiet and rather empty. We were able to wander down the large hall, take pictures in the retro station seats, and watch as they set up the enormous lighted Christmas tree. What a wonderful way to say good-bye to my aunt, and hello to the holiday season.

Mrs. Darcy, Mrs. Darcy, Mrs. Darcy ...

Just went to see the newest cinematic version of Pride and Prejudice. If I had not internalized so much of the dialogue from multiple readings of the official verson or hours watching the BBC version, I might have thought the current movie beyond compare. As it was, I had difficulty hearing beloved lines mutilated and shrunken to a fraction of their original meaning. However, I didn't not like it. The movie was stirring in its own way because the director focused on the passion between Elizabeth and Darcy.

The story is such a captivating one. For one thing, the heroine and hero are equally matched in intelligence and passion. As they are in all powerful love stories ... Romeo and Juliet, Marc Anthony and Cleopatra, Ed and Chieko Okazaki. If it were not so, there would be no triumph and no reason to tell the story.

The triumph lies in the sequential zeniths and nadirs. Both protagonists imagine themselves to be larger than life. In essence, they start at a zenith. The first nadir occurs when they realize that the one whose esteem they covet does not reciprocate their regard. The shock gives way to a sour grapes state, with a concomitant false zenith. During the course of the narrative, they are brought to a second nadir in recognizing that they do not actually merit the love of the other. It would be truly depressing if the story ended there. However, the triumph lies in discovering that, however undeserving they themselves are, their love is incredibly, passionately and honorably returned.

And that, I think, is the miracle of love. We are all unlovable at some time or another. The wondrous thing is that another person would love us despite our unworthines, and that we each have the power to give and receive of the miracle. I think that this is the hope that propels every person through this mortal existence: that another being will freely and unreservedly love us. To some it may seem so easy to obtain, but difficult to retain. Others may seek for love and adoration through wordly success. Many are deceived by, or deceive by offering, paltry substitutes. Some are so discouraged by failure that they let bitterness steal the sweet possibility of the miracle.

For myself, I prefer to believe that the gift lies just around the bend in the road, and that I am slowly but surely making my way to it. Be it in this life or the one to come; in the form of agape, eros, philia or storge; the miracle is mine.

Going Native

Had dinner with BFF at Native Foods. Vegan restaurant that Pilgrim girl introduced me to. My favorite so far is the portobello mushroom and sausage burger ... so tasty. Although I could never be a vegan, and have no desire to be vegetarian, I greatly appreciate the cuisine.

Good to see BFF and catch up. What with travelling and other plans, it's been weeks, and I've missed our visits. I might have talked a bit. I think his eyes glazed over at one point. However, he was a good sport about it, and just let me ramble on, which was exactly what I wanted.

Had planned on going to the bookclub meeting after dinner. We're reading A Million Little Pieces, one of Cherilyn's recommendations. I wasn't too sure about this book, since the last one she had us read was absolutely awful ... had no qualms about stopping mid-book and throwing it away. However, Frey is rather potent reading, and I think I will finish this one.

Anyway, I didn't end up going. Was exhausted after dinner and went to bed. So much for wild native forays.

Clearing the briars

Once upon a time, a woman lived in a house set apart from the city. In her childhood, she spent much time blazing trails to the many destinations she liked to visit.

One night, a thicket of briars sprang up in the field around her house. Journeys to her favorite places became more difficult, and new trails almost impossible. After a time, she learned to walk over the briars, although she often returned home with bloody feet. She bore the pain, and learned how to work around it. Often times she thought about clearing the thicket, but the task seemed insurmountable as the years passed; the briars grew even more densely, and seemed to better support her footsteps.

One day, the women started to notice that the briars grew so tall in one area that it blocked the sun from warming the house. This was in a direction that the woman had never journeyed, although many had told her of the delights the trail held.

The woman pondered and considered. She called out to various gardeners for help to clear the briars. They heard her pleas. They were not able to enter the briar to help with the physical work, but shouted encouragement and ideas, and flung scythes and boots over the briar to aid her.

The work was painful and difficult, eventhough the woman started in the sparse areas of the briar. Dutifully she hacked away at the unyielding tangle of thorns. Time passed. One day she found she had cleared enough to see the fertile ground that lay at the bottom. She dug her hands into the rich moist earth. It gave her great joy.

And so she continues her work to clear the briars. Some days she is despondent at the amount of work still to be done, and feels cold in the shadow of the tall portion. Some days she is defiant and travels over the briar, then bemoans her foolishness while she binds her feet in the evening. And some days she is remarkably successful and glories in the work done thus far, envisioning the fruits that may eventually come from the land.

The long trip down the mountain

Spork wanted to try snowboarding in Utah. We headed over to Garf's for some accessories, and drove up to Brighton. JLITH, mom and Aunt Yo came along. They wanted to see us come down our first ride. However, we (or rather, I) took so long that they eventually left.

We got on the lift without incident ... Spork suggested that we take a lift seat by ourselves instead of joining with anyone else. His reasoning ... "We don't need anyone hating on us this early in the day." The ride up the Majestic lift was the longest I'd ever been on. It kept going and going. In retrospect, I should have looked at the trail maps and chosen the Explorer list instead. That's what I get for trusting someone else. I turned to Spork and said, "How in the world do you expect me to get to the bottom without killing myself?"

Snow was great, at least by California standards. It was the longest ride down of my life, and probably Spork's as well. Remember that the last time I went snowboarding (which was also my first time), I got a hairline fracture on my left ankle, then rode down once more before calling it quits. Anyway, Spork deserves a medal for sticking with me (at least for most of the way). I still couldn't stand up facing down the mountain and I kept lifting out of my too-big boots. Tried to avoid falling down, since the hardest thing is getting back up. Did alright for my third run. Sat down in utter happiness when I reached the end. Only to be sprayed down with a flash of snow down the neck of my jacket by a hotshot teen!

Sent Spork back up for a couple runs so I could get some video. The last run he got a little lost, and I nearly froze as the sun dipped below the tree line. Bought some hot chocolate and chips to share, but they mysteriously disappeared before Spork made it down the mountain. Warmed our frozen hands under the hot dryer machines ... ahhhhhhh!

On the drive down, we took a picture by one of those "No standing or parking" signs, which we thought were hilarious. Too bad we didn't park the car behind as well. As it was, Spork ended up having to borrow a handy shovel and dig us out because the car got stuck! Nice guy, who was driving the other way, stopped and helped us out. Made up for the rude hotshot earlier.

Asked an avid skiing coworker what the signs were about. Apparently they are placed in areas where skidding or hydroplaning frequently occur. Oops!

Child's Play in the Garden(s)

Genie and I took Big and Little Beans to Red Butte Garden today. Almost didn't make it ... Mapquest gave screwy directions that almost pushed us over the edge of wanting to visit. However, we made it, and had a fantastic time exploring the children's garden. Of note: large lizard statues that the kids rode like broncos, a dragon with a wire-frame body that extends into a maze that the Beans ran and giggled through, and a sundial that's calibrated by month.

Then, we took a drive over to Gilgal Garden to have a few words with the Joseph Smith Sphinx. The Beans loved crawling through the mini-cave formations while the JSS whispered secrets of the ages in my ear. As we were leaving the garden, we let the kids go leaf-ing, something they've never been able to so in LA. Gathered crunchy leaves into large piles and let them have at it. Revels galore.

Finally, went to Trolley Square to see "States of Grace." I liked it. Gritty. Like a puff of sand that makes your eyes water, and when the tears have washed the grit away, your perception of the view is even more beautiful than before. I didn't like that Dutcher made LA look like an ugly place, and the ending was a bit overdone, but I understand that he was trying to make a statement, and I mostly agreed with him. Also, I had to laugh out loud when my cousin (a businessman, NOT an actor) appeared onscreen as the bishop of the ex-gang-banger's ward. My cousin the sneak ... he never said anything about it.

Bork and I drove over to the airport that night to pick up the last of the clan ... brother, mother, father and aunt. I think dad now knows to turn on (and KEEP on) his cellphone whenever arriving. Another amazing dinner by Genie. Good to catch up with everyone. Had planned to go out dancing again, but the family stuff was too good to miss out on.

Going down the list

BFF sent me a list of things to do in SLC.
1. Gilgal Garden
2. Salt lake Cemitary: graves of all the prophets. Most interesting is Joseph Standing's grave which lists those in the mob that killed him and the innocent blood that they spilt.
3. See States of Grace (God's Army II) at the Gateway. A good film, and only in Utah
4. Eat lunch at the Huntsman Cancer Institute. The view is amazing.
5. Wear your blue and root for the cougs. It's holy War week. Refer to Utah fans as "Utards"
6. Best fast food greek in SLC and perhaps the intermountain west: Greek Souvlaki No. 1, (818)322-2062. 404 E 300 S, Salt Lake City, UT 84111-2607
7. The Sam Weller Bookstore on 4th and Main is wonderful. Across from TRAX. Utah's best independant bookstore and one of the better in the US.

Obi-Jahn and I met for lunch at the Point Restaurant at the Huntsman. Food okay. View good. Nice to put a face and mannerisms with the profile. Online Obi-Jahn is almost terse ... rather ascerbic and conservative with his words. In person he is much more approachable and gregarious. We also checked out the Joseph Smith exhibit at the Church Museum. Fascinating to see originals and fascimilies of handwritten pages, and the shards and pieces of early 19th century LDS life. Co-assembled a maple syrup mini-vat. I also especially liked the gallery of portraits of women who were instrumental in the early church.

Had dinner with Nephi and Ishy. Heard a lot of behind-the-scenes Linkup stories. A good reminder to not take it all too seriously. That said, it is good to have an LDS-focused forum where we can discuss the issues we find important, and to meet other saints from around the world.

Back in SLC

After a hectic three days working, I'm off to Utah for another week of vacation! Things look good. Economy car upgraded to a PT cruiser. Weather rather cool but sunny. JLITH's place all ethnic and fantastically redecorated. Nephews remember me and eager to play. Good talks with Genie. Bork immensely satisfied with law school. And West Coast dancing in the evening with some fantastic leads. And a little time to catch up with JLITH before crashing into a dreamless sleep. And this is only day 1 ...

There's no place like home

Finally! After one plane ride from Shanghai to Beijing, an extended layover (9 hours!!!), and a long flight over the Pacific ocean, I'm finally home. The first thing I did after disembarking was visit the closest ladies' room. It was wonderful ... just cleaned: the bleach smell still lingering in the air, and the toilet seats all still up. (Note: freshly cleaned toilets are the only situation in which I'm glad to see the seat cover up). Tanizaki had it all wrong ... in the case of toilets, there is no praise of shadows. The only beautiful color for a toilet is sparkling clean.

After only a short panic attack over getting a ride home, I was comfortably ensconced in Perky's VW, on the way back to my wonderful apartment. Gave the parents the I-made-it-back-safely call, unpacked, did some laundry, and put my life back in order. So wonderful! Now if only I didn't have to go to work in the morning ...

Sometime soon I'll be back-blogging about the rest of the trip. Maybe before leaving for SLC, maybe not. Anyway, stay tuned ...

Beijing: Entering the Forbidden City

From 1422 to 1644, the Forbidden City was the seat of the Chinese Emperors. But I'll let you read the rest of the specifics on your own. It is quite resplendent and imperial. As it is being restored for the 2008 Olympics, I wonder it will lose a lot of its authenticity (like Bangkok) under all the new paint. The grounds are immense. Many in our group were tired from walking through the first courtyard, but that represented less than one-seventh of the entire length of the complex.

Things I especially liked ... the 81 knobs on the large doors that visitors rubbed for good luck and prosperity (the reachable knobs are shiny and untarnished), the jade carving that the imperial children practiced archery through, the bronze vats where fire-fighting water was stored, the crystal in the Rare Courtyard, and the lion deity pairs (the male with his right paw on a pearl representing earth/power, and the female with her left paw on a lion cub representing the future generation).

After passing through the main area, we also visited the Imperial Gardens, which were quite lovely after all the hard architecture of the buildings.

Bursting onto Beijing: Tiananmen Square

Arrived in Beijing early this morning, and hit the ground running. Our guide's American name was Michael (as in Jordan, not Jackson he told us). Nice guy, but he spoke with a slightly disturbing lisp that made him seem a little effeminate/childish. When we boarded the bus, there was plenty of room to spare. I probably would have taken a seat near the front, but Pilgrimgirl's prosthetic/bionic leg had frozen on the plane (YIKES!), so she took the last row of seats so she could rest her leg in a comfortable position, and her mother and I joined her. As it was, we each had four seats each to relax and lay our things down on, so it was quite comfy.

Passed by the first train station in Beijing, which was constructed 150 years ago during the opium wars.

Our first stop was Tiananmen Square. One of the reasons I didn't blog on the trip was that we were told that there have been times when blogs and/or emails which were not favorable to China were intercepted, and never made it to their destinations. None of us wanted trouble, so we were careful about what we did and wrote.

So, TS was initally the site of numerous government offices, as it faces the south entrance to the Forbidden City. However, Mao Tse Tung had the offices torn down and had the enormous square constructed in its place. In the square now are Tiananmen Tower, Monument to the People's Heroes, Great Hall of the People, and Mao Zedong Memorial Hall. The Memorial Hall used to be the Mausoleum, but the body was moved in 1985 to an unspecified location.

Seems hard to believe that the massacre was so long ago ... 6/4/1989. Even today. the military presence is palpable. All the lights are equipped with surveillance equipment. Soldiers patrol, and seem to randomly bark at people who seem to gathering in any one place.

Toward the end of our time there, the soldiers started herding everyone out of the square. We heard rumors that it was due to visiting Yugoslavian dignitaries. As I turned around to get one last photo, the deserted square gave me the chills. Ironically, Michael told us that Tiananmen means heavenly peace.

Last minute (not-so-necessary) details before going to China

Making a new mixed cd ... Strum Kind of Wonderful. Songs which have a heavy guitar voice. Been on my mind for a while now. Anyway, as I started to build it, I noticed that it was really male-vocals-heavy. Most of the female vocalists were of the slow/country persuasion. Consulted Perky for ideas on female rockers with a not-so-gentle sound. She recommended Elastica, Janis Joplin, Joni Mitchell, No Doubt, Lucinda Williams, Shelby Lynne Veruca Salt and Joan Jett. This begs the question ... are female rockers not as talented at the hard stuff as men, or have they avoided it because it's commercially undesirable? Anyway, so far, the list is Take Me Out (Franz Ferdinand), Connection (Elastica), Life is Bad (Shelby Lynne), Someday You Will Be Loved (Death Cab For Cutie), Sweet Emotion (Aerosmith), Shiver (Maroon 5), Lebanese Blonde (Thievery Corporation), By the Way (Red Hot Chili Peppers), Seether (Veruca Salt), Only Happy When it Rains (Gargabe), Back in Black (AC/DC), E-Pro (Beck), Little Bird (White Stripes), Sugar Never Tasted So Good (ibid), I Can't Wait (ibid), God Put a Smile Upon Your Face (Coldplay), Fugitive (Indigo Girls), Down on Me (Janis Joplin), Blackbird (Sarah McLachlan), Stairway to Heaven (Led Zeppelin).

Also saw the documentary New York Doll. Sweet. Not in that heavily sugared way, but like Wonder Woman's excellent butterscotch pudding ... simple, smooth, carefully crafted, and you taste a variety of flavors as you hold it in your mouth. Whitely did a magnificent job. A little queer to see President Bragg, Rust and Greg on the big screen, and hear an especially touching version of "A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief."

Went and had Shears give me a haircut. Made me feel a little guilty for not being faithful to JoLa, but I needed a change. Arrived a little early, and saw Shears giving the tail end of a lecture to the students (she TEACHES hairstyling/cutting!). Revealling to see her in a professional, as opposed to friendly/social, setting. Took a bunch of pictures on my laptop in for her to look at, saying that I wanted something shorter, more individual (not feeling the need to hide behind my hair these days), and easy to care for. Shears did a fantastic job (thus her new nickname). Layered in the back to the base of my neck, slightly longer to collarbone in front, chopped wispies in front to make bangs. I love it!

Finished packing, and Wonder Woman drove me to LAX. Among other things we talked about NY Doll. The part where the ex-wife reads Moroni 7:26 really got me. Prayers being granted. Maybe I don't have enough faith that God *will* bless me in certain matters, although I believe that He *can.* Also, the incongruity between deserving versus receiving blessings. Or is it that I engage in self-defeating behaviors that make certain blessings less receivable? Not that my life is unblessed. I am incredibly blessed, and I try to remain grateful. Anyway, it was a sobering discussion, the kind I love to have with WW.

WW dropped me off at Bradley Terminal. When I discovered that China Air was actually in terminal 2, I hoofed it over ... and got into the longest line I've ever seen at LAX. Turns out there had been a piece of unattended luggage, and they had cleared a certain section of the terminal! Waited a long time, but eventually got checked in and onto the plane. Non-aisle seat in the middle, but at least the seats are a little wider than on the ends ... or so it seemed. And we were off. China, here I come!

From video games to therapeutic sessions.

Wednesday was Precious' birthday. Superman said that he planned her birthday at Dave and Buster's because she was so freaked out about becoming another year older. Frankly, that's a bunch of ... cow patties! I think someone was having Halo withdrawals, and I can't even begin to guess which of the two was suffering the most! After a yummy dinner (during which Gadget Boy devoured bar hamburgers), we marched into the mega-arcade and set about to do some damage. Star Wars, Star Trek (my aim with a toy gun is awful!), Jurassic Park, Indie 500, Pearl Harbor, and Dance Dance Revolution. Confess that I love DDR, but this was a harder version, with stomp pads in the four corners instead of front, back, left and right, besides the middle pad. GB and I team played: him in front and me playing the back ... absolutely hilarious. And Superman and I battled. He won. I kept stepping on icons that put my step signs into warp speed. Next time I will be prepared to conquer!

Got back home at 0030. Should have gone to bed, but I stayed up to create a Halloween costume (that I absolutely plaigarized from B and T). Had put the finishing touches on it when I decided that I needed to download stuff from the camera to make room for the weekend activities. I really should have gone to bed. But I didn't. While downloading, I came across the picture of Gadget Boy, and felt compelled to show it to Perky. At this point I really should have gone to bed. But I didn't. Instead, we got into a very indepth conversation, the kind I love to have with her during unconventionally late or early hours of the day. I really should have gone to bed when Wonder Woman got home. But I didn't. WW joined in, and the conversation became even more intense, and I was too far in to extricate myself willingly. Finally, around 0300, Perky broke the spell and sent us all to bed. Enough time to get three hours of sleep before heading in to work. Woo-hoo!

Love to lindy.

Headed over to Lindy Groove after work. The lindy-cravings were too intense to miss out on the Halloween party. The most clever costumes were B and T as cat burglars, the Hurricane Katrina reporter, the turkey, the ghoulish hobo, and the SwingPit undead. Caught up with some old friends. Several really good dances. Best was StretchJer. Lindy cravings now mollified. Looking forward to west coast dancing in SLC next month!!!

Dora in Charge

I was the charge nurse today. The head honcha. The (sometimes) fearless leader. What does it mean to do charge? Well, it means I take responsibility for the PICU … coordinating/overseeing admissions and discharges, making assignments, ensuring that the nurses get out on breaks, rounding with the doctors, wearing the code beeper and responding if it goes off, making sure the pyxxis accounting sheets are printed and passed out at the end of the shift, receiving and giving shift-change report on all patients, and being a resource for the nurses on the unit. I do it maybe once every six to seven weeks. It's always a good learning experience because there's more time to question the docs on the plans of treatment for the various patients. On a slow day it can be rather boring. On a hectic day (like those crazy nights I was on with EY), it can be immensely draining.

Today was an okay day. Two fresh post-op admissions, two unforeseen admissions, one discharge, one pt went to CT, and one to MRI. Had to pair two patients to take the first admit, then use my team leader to take the second. One of our transfers got kicked back, and the other one was a solid no-go. By the time I got around to doing staffing, there was just enough room to take one admit, and that still left night shift rather short. In the end, JW volunteered to stay over-time, and which was a huge relief, and it all worked out. Someday I want to be able to do charge as easily and effortlessly as CY … she makes it look so easy, and she’s always calm, even when the unit is exploding around her. I guess that’s one of the reasons she’s a Clin IV. That, and she knows just about everything.

Went home and was still too hyped up to relax. Watched Sunday’s tivo’d episode of “Grey’s Anatomy.” I’m not sure if Perky was more amused or annoyed at my running commentary on how the writers need better medical consultants. Sometimes they’re just laughable.

Reverence begets revelation, & the end of a good weekend.

How often do I miss the deeper joys of life because I'm too busy being distracted by inconsequential entertainers? One of the more personally thought-provoking messages of this stake conference stated, "Reverence begets revelation." I remember a conversation with Venetian about how difficult it is to find silence in the modern world. Everywhere we are surrounded by background noise ... the rush of cars, the hum of electronics, the ringing of alarms and phones; to say nothing of impersonal voices talking and squawking at us from televisions, radios and through the walls of my apartment. Random noise can be so maddening.

There is something intensely spiritual about being able to be quiet and still. Standing in an open field and tuning into the chirp of a bird. Experiencing the play of wind in a bamboo forest. Feeling my heartbeat as I lay on my mat after a session of yoga. The incredible softness of holding a sleeping infant. That tense moment between the end of a concerto and the start of thundering applause. The comfort of an enveloping embrace.

All these thoughts rolled over me as the stake choir sang an arrangement of "Joseph Smith's First Prayer" by Crawford Gates. I must explain that I have long been rather adverse to this hymn. It comes from months of being the accompanist at early Saturday morning baptisms while my father was Stake Mission Leader. At age twelve, there were many other things that I would rather have been doing, and the hymn has since reeked of obligation. However, as the choir sang the hymn in the beautiful chapel of the Los Angeles Stake Center, I was surprised at the beauty of the music. I felt that tremulous moment when a singular melody expands into a cascade of harmonic voices, and felt THE CHILL run up my arms. It became an auditory, emotional and spiritual experience ... a feast for the senses and sensibilities. It also brought to mind some of my favorite hymns ... Be Still My Soul; Abide With Me (#166); For the beauty of the Earth; All Creatures of Our God and King; O Savior Thou Who Wearest; A Mighty Fortress; There is a Green Hill; High on a Mountain Top; and many others.

Aldous Huxley said it so succinctly, "After silence that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music."

On a more informational note, Presidents Fairclough, Turley and Millard have been released. The new Stake Presidency consists of Presidents Bragg, White and Vargas.

After conference, I napped and thought deep thoughts of all I'd encountered this weekend. BFF stopped over for a bit and we chatted a bit about the conferences as he examined my books.

Wonder Woman cooked an amazing dinner as well! Perky, Precious, Superman, Ballerina, The Dot, Improv-er and BiggieD were all on hand to partake of the delicious victuals. Balsamic tomato soup with homemade foccacia, fennel and red onion salad, chile lime sweet potatoes, beet salad and pork-loin with quince marmelade. AND butterscotch pudding to top it off with! No one beats WW's cooking!

Excused myself for a bit to dash over to Vivacious' to catch up for a bit. I always love to talk with her. I almost nicknamed her Favorite Visiting Teacher Ever, but decided that Vivacious suits her much better. I've known her for longer than most of my friends in LA, and she's one of the few people who I can talk to for long periods of time without having to cast about for topics.

Made my way back to the apartment for the last game of Catan. Did not-too-badly ... the cloth monopoly. However, wouldn't you know it that Improv-er won. It happens all too frequently, and we haven't been playing frequently at all!

Ended the night with some quiet time before bed. Just me and my thoughts. A little bit of silence to add fullness to the dish.

Meatiness Part II

Up BEFORE the crack of dawn this morning. Picked up Pilgrimgirl and we drove down to San Clemente for the Joseph Smith Symposium. Presenters included Robert Millet (BYU ~ Joseph Smith), Jeff O'Driscoll (~ Hyrum and Joseph Smith), Joseph L. Bentley (OC Director of Public Affairs ~ Trials of the Prophet) and Richard L. Bushman (Columbia University ~ Joseph Smith).

Especially liked Bushman's remarks. His presentation was scholarly and well-documented, without losing that human element. He discoursed on how studying the life of the prophet Joseph Smith can help us be more Christlike.

After the symposium, I snapped a couple photos of the panelists, and PG got her book signed by Bushman. Photos may appear in church news with PG's write-up.

P3C's.

Today was a cookie baking day. My favorite ... P3C's, or pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. Mom actually called me back early this morning to give me the recipe. Thank heavens! Because the ones I've made from on-line recipes never measure up. There were several motivations for baking today. First, I love these cookies, and so do some very good friends (FGITW and BFF most notably). Second, Safehouse is coming up, and I need something to bring. And third, refreshments (and a bribe for copies of future notes) for Outhouse.

So, I was in a cookie making flurry. First batch got burned on the bottom because I used a dark pan. I ate the tops off a few to ensure that the recipe was as good as I'd remembered. It was. Traded emails with BFF and teased him with the aroma of fresh baked cookies. The joke was on me ... he showed up at my doorstep right after lunch, on his way to a meeting in Culver City. Downed a few cookies fresh from the oven, chatted a bit, and then out the door. Seems like it's always like that; snatches of time between other engagements. I can't complain, because I do the same. He teased me about chocolate on my nose. I didn't believe him, until I took a look in the mirror after he'd left. Indeed, he'd told the truth. Must have been when I ate those cookie tops!

Anyway, after 8 trays of cookies, I was done. Enough cookies for several full plates ... one for friends and roommates, one for Outhouse, and one for Safehouse. That's my theory about cooking: minimum effort for maximum effect!

With a little help from my friends ... and mom.

Been feeling sick for long enough now. Asked for some help from an old good friend, who included a new good friend, which made me happy. The end of it was that I felt loved and understood and relieved.

Also went home to visit with my mother. We talked and talked. Financial planning, family goings-on, travel plans, friend goings-on, gathering the clan for pre-Thanksgiving festivities, work, etc etc. Experimented with Thai food. Again I'm presented with the idea that I'm too picky. Is there such a thing in a world where divorce is nearly as prevalent as marriage?

School portraits

After an initial inquiry, someone sent me this link to Jamm Factory. I was fascinated. Especially by Alfie. Some of the photos were so exuberant that the children seemed to jump off the page. Others seemed less inspired. Most of the boys posed singularly, while most of the girls opted to pose with friends. I felt sad that most of the girls didn't seem to convey anything about themselves other than that they had a friend to pose with. Perhaps the one that most drew my attention was the one girl who posed alone, walking down a flight of outdoor stairs.

What would I have been photographed doing, if I were to try to represent myself in a snapshot during elementary school? In Kindergarden I would have been playing cowboys and Indians with Blonde Cowboy. For first grade, I would have posed playing the piano. In third grade, Moira and I would have been roller skating at Skate Plus. Forth grade playing the recorder. Fifth swinging on the rings on the playground. Sixth grade surrounded by piles and piles of books.

As it was, I generally forgot about picture day until I arrived at school that morning. Probably wearing a t-shirt with a glittery decal on it and those courderoy pants I couldn't stand, but which never wore out.

Mental snapshots of elementary school: running around with Blonde Cowboy, my one asian friend MiC in a sea of whiteness, sleepovers at Moira's, summer reading programs at the library, getting busted for doing handstands by Mrs. Gallindo, flutaphone and recorder lessons with Mr. Federgreen, wonderful Mrs. Knechtli, calligraphy, AW, my caramel popcorn business in 6th grade, advanced math with Mr. England, and the Group of 10 (me, Nice Nisha, Brat, Brat II, Meg, Fro-boy, Guitar Dave, Outcast, KP, and Unknown (because I can't for the life of me remember who he was).

eBay conquerer!

I was defeated in my first contest, but have emerged triumphant from the second! Watch to be here in 6-10 business days ... well before we depart for China. Talked over preps with Pilgrim Girl the other night ... beginning to be very exciting!

Adventures on eBay

So, I've done it. Made my very first bid. Pilgrim Girl would be proud.

The thing is, I want my old watch back. It was as near to a perfect watch as I have ever found. Lights up when I press a button, handy when I'm working nights. Always tells me day, date and military time. I can set the secondary function to anywhere around the world ... very handy on trips. An alarm to wake me. A timer to remind me. A steel wristband that never gets dirty. The perfect watch. The one that's languishing in azure blue waters, at the base of Mooney Falls, in Havasupai. The one that was ripped from my wrist as I attempted to scale an interminable red rock wall ... well, maybe it was only ten feet, although it felt like twelve!

Anyway, when I got around to ordering a new one, I found that it was not available through any of the authorized Baby G online stores, much to my dismay. At first I couldn't believe it. Kept looking around for that cookie that would allow me to step through the magical door and place an order. Never found it. Been blue ever since.

Then, it finally connected ... with stories about miraculous finds on eBay. Embarked on the internet this morning, and found several! Absolute Nirvana! There is light at the end of the dark, timeless tunnel!

And so, I registered on eBay, and have placed my maximum bid, which was ... well, maybe I shouldn't tell. Who knows what other competitive bidder may be lurking about trying to sabotoge my quest to regain the perfect timepiece. Five more hours ... the clock is ticking.

Cooking Up a Storm

Had some people over for curry dinner tonight. In order of appearance ... BFF, Minnie, EO, EON, Wonder Woman, Drummer Boy, Hellamormon, BBK, DW, FGITW, Precious and Superman. I love having people over for curry! There's just something magical about the conversation that occurs when people are seated and eating together ... school. injuries, recent travels to Italy, hurricanes Katrina and Rita, therapuetic interventions, the internet, this blog, Johnny 99 and the battle of the bands, unions, global and personal economics, weddings, dating (of course!), etc, etc. We finished the night with plates and plates of fruit ... among them the Kyoho grapes that I remember eating as a child in Japan (the trick is to sqeeze and suck the insides out and avoid the bitter skin).

There are only a few things that I feel really confident about cooking. Curry is my favorite for having friends over. It's so easy, and most of it can be done early so that I'm not feeling sapped by the time company comes. Besides, while it's simmering, I can spend time arranging the table, which I think I might like better than cooking (and, how I do miss Precious' table!). Other things I like to cook ... chicken with shallots and garlic, pork cutlets with pear slices, a variety of soups, Japanese style spinach, burnt butter cupcakes and pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. And, I love to experiment with making different sauces! Generally, whenever Wonder Woman cooks something spectacular, I ask her about it. She'll generally start out by saying, "It's really easy. All you do is a, b, c ... x, y, z, alpha, beta, gamma, etc." The ones that are *truly* easy are the ones I get recipes for and try out on my family. They love me and are generally going to love anything I cook. Someday I'll con WW into teaching my how to make her excellent butterscotch and chocolate puddings.

FGITW stayed around to help do dishes and chat about (our favorite topic) guys we are (and were interested in) dating. Sometimes it's so good to vent. The only thing funnier than venting about guys with one's girlfriends, is venting about guys with one's gay guyfriends. Anyway, the time went quickly by, and soon we were done with all the dishes! A thousand blessing on FGITW's head!

Next week is the Safehouse dinner, another sit-eat-and-converse activity which I love. Another thousand blessings on Ballerina and Kerri for starting them!

The Pony Express (or Trotting on out)

We were all up at 0600. Packed it all up, and were at the ranger station by 0700 to get our stuff packed out, and me on a horse. And we waited ... and waited. At about 0730 a string of horses arrived that had an extra saddled animal. Fletcher was the Indian guide and seemed friendly enough. We watched as he started loading the packs. When he finally told us that he was waiting for a couple other people to drop off their stuff, Scout and I agreed that he and Jo should start the hike out. It was another 30 minutes before Fletcher said that I could mount and go on ahead. So, I got on the horse and headed out. We got about as far as the first or second campsite before the horse just stopped. I tried everything ... kicking, clicking, using my halter ends to spank his butt, but he stayed rooted. In vain, I telepathically told him that it would be so much better to get the ride over with while it was still cool, and he's have that much more time to take it easy in the afternoon; but he was determined not to go without his compadres. So, I turned him around, and he gladly made his way back to the corral. The lady at the ranger station had to call Fletcher out. He ruefully finished packing up the other horses, and we were off.

If there's one thing in the world that's painful, it's to be on a trotting horse. And this is what my horse did for 2 hours ... when he wasn't stopped, that is. Trot trot trot. Ouch ouch ouch. (Note: trotting horses are not good for incontinent grannies either.) We overtook two other riders who joined in with us. And my dorky horse would let the other riders pass us, then decide that he'd rather be in front, and try to regain the lead while on the one-horse-at-a-time trails. Fletcher finally broke off a switch, and told me to, "Hit him like you would your boyfriend!" With that enjoinder, I self-righteously swatted away whenever the horse misbehaved.

We reached Hualapai Hilltop around 1100 ... about 11 minutes after Scout and Jo reached it! My rear and lower back were so sore ... but that's just two more areas on a long list. Anyway, they managed to get a few shots of me on my dork horse before I dismounted.

We caravanned out to Kingman ... funny how easy it is to drive 85mph in the daylight ... and had a final farewell lunch at Arby's, which was surprisingly edible. We also took time to appreciate the flush toilets, faucet water, air-conditioning and paved roads.

After an afternoon of spicy V-8, corn nuts and cold drinks, I finally reached home at 1930. Heavenly to unpack, do laundry, shower, take more advil, douse myself with Bengay, watch the most recent episode of, "So You Think You Can Dance," and fall asleep in my enormously comfy bed. Explorations are great, but so is coming home!

Hiking Downriver ... Mooney and Beaver Falls

Jo and I slept in, at least relative to Scout. We all breakfasted on powerbars and dried fruits and nuts. Left camp around 0800 to hike downriver to Mooney and Beaver Falls.

Mooney isn't actually very far, but when you take into account the trek down to the base, I'm told it's a mile from the camp site. From top to bottom, it's about a 200 foot drop, and it's named after a man who died trying the descent. The trail takes a series of swtichbacks that are carved into the rock. Again, I was so grateful for my poles. The next phase is prefaced by a warning sign that reads, "Descend at own risk. Exercise extreme caution! Do not pass beyond this point in inclement weather conditions." We then descended through two narrow and dark tunnels. The last leg of the "trail" involves scaling down the cliff by grappling with chains, metal stakes, footholds and two wooden ladders.

I reached the bottom with a large sigh of relief ... and a quick intake of breath when I took in the beauty of the spot. It was splendid. Part of the bottom pool had a shallow rocky bar that we waded across to get spectacular views of the falls. The spray from the falls was so powerful that I put my camera in the ziplock, eventhough it was rather inconvenient.

After a brief respite, we were on our way down to Beaver Falls, another 3 miles downriver. We crossed the river two times. I slipped on a muddy bank and drenched myself and my pack. Camera got slightly dampened. Jo took the battery out and put it away, and opened the camera up and put it to dry in a mesh pocket of Scout's pack, and we were on our way. We hiked through fields and fields of vines ... it was like being on a tropical island. Jo hacked at some of the overgrowth and some cacti that grew a little too close to the trail. My legs were constantly being whipped and brushed by the vegetation ... definitely pants would have been a good idea. I did have a rather close shave with a cactus. There weren't many long spikes embedded in my shorts, but there were numerous small ones that I couldn't quite get out, So, I spent the rest of the hike with one leg rolled up. Yes, I was lopsided, but I think it also prevented a lot of chafing, for which I was grateful.

We finally made it to the rope line. This rope is supposed to help one scramble up a 10 foot sheer face and continue hiking. Of course, Scout scrambled up in a matter of seconds. Jo took a bit longer. I, however, had a bad time of it. Again, being shorter, and having less upper body strength really worked against me. Tried multiple times. Even handed up my pack so that I'd have less to drag up. The last time I tried to clear the edge, I fell. Luckily, my hand didn't get caught in one of the loops, but I did bounce off the rock face, and landed in the water, At that point, I knew that I wasn't going to make it up the rope. I was going to wait for the guys, but Scout suggested that I might try swimming around until I met up with another part of the trail, and I decided to try that. It was actually fun to be on my own and try a bit of solo trailing. Besides which, the water was wonderfully refreshing!

After about 20 minutes. Scout appeared behind me. At first I thought that he had reached Beaver and backtracked to find me, but he'd actually felt bad about leaving me alone, so had directed Jo on the trail to take, made his way back to the rope, and jumped in and followed me. We hiked on and finally got to the top of Beaver Falls. Beautiful spot. Scout pointed out a spot where we could jump off into the pool below. I looked at it, and asked if he was crazy! There was no way that I could possibly get out to that point, much less stand, and much even less get enough friction to jump out enough to clear the rocks! I'm sure that Scout could have done it, and had no problem waiting for him, but I knew it wasn't something I was going to do. We ended up just swimming around a little in the shallow pools near the top, the decided to head back and meet Jo back at the rope. Then, I looked at Scout's pack, and asked if my camera was still in it ... and IT WAS! Whoops! Well, we took it out, and I opened it up to dry again. Luckily the water is fresh, and I know not to turn it on, like I did in Hawaii with Janet.

We hiked and swam out way back to the rope. I was doing okay, but that last lagoon was too much. I got two-thirds of the way before I had to get to the side and take a rest. It's no small feat to swim one-handed, much less keeping one hand above water to keep the camera dry! Scout had actually offered to swim up to Jo and get the dry-pack for me, but I'd thought I'd be okay. As it was, Jo swam out to me, and we worked together to get the bag open, camera inserted, and bag closed again.

We ate lunch and lazed by the lagoon. By this time, I'd catalogued my scrapes and bruises. Along with a beaut of a bruise on the back of my right thigh, and several impressive scrapes on my right leg, there was a pretty one on my left wrist ... where my watch came off when I fell off the rope into the water. I kept watching the lagoon whenever the bottom settled, but it wouldn't yield up my timepiece. As Scout said, we'd have to chalk it up as another offering to the Havasupai deities.

By this time, Jo and I were so sore! Did the granny walk for most of the way back. Finally made it back to the rope swing that Scout's so fond of. Both guys did it a few times, with me recording it on Jo's camera for posterity, before I felt like I could try it. Again, the upper body strength was lacking (must remember to work in lat pulls and pull ups!), and I flopped into the water. Maybe flopped isn't the right word. It was rather like doing the breakdance move called the worm. Anyway, my feet went in first, and the rest of me just rolled in after. The end result being that my tight athletic top ended up around my teeth, and I had to readjust before I swam back to shore. And Jo was wondering why I was floundering!

Made our tired way back to the base of Mooney Falls, and started the arduous task of climbing up. Scary and exhilirating!

What a relief to get back to camp and rest our tired bones. Sadly, Jo's blanket had been stolen ... along with his scriptures (which were on top), and his ipod (which was rolled up inside). I generally don't like to think of campers as being dishonest, but I guess it can happen anywhere. We all nursed our blisters (mine were on the medial surfaces of both big toes) and turned in.

Hualapai Hilltop and Entering the Canyon

Woke up at 0530. Need to *relieve* myself so badly, but didn't see any facilities (in all actuality, there were some just around the bed). So, I pulled the car up to the rocky wall along side the road, opened both passenger side doors, and did a Montana Blue Eyes. The place is so dry that the evidence against me disappeared in a matter of seconds ... so tidy!

I re-parked the car closer to the trailhead, and saw Scout almost immediately. He introduced me to his roommate Jo, and we were off at around 0700. In the early morning light, the canyons are quite impressive. They stretch on forever in both directions ... red and white stratified and towering rock. The switchbacks down to the canyon floor were quite steep (about 1.5 miles descending 1000 ft), and I was glad for my hiking poles (along with my unshaven legs, I felt quite European) and the fact that I was riding out! It was also the first time in my life that I've been grateful for my quite ample hips ... it's no small thing to be carrying all one's supplies on one's back, and the hip straps helped my legs (and not back) do most of the work.

Once on the canyon floor, it's a relatively level hike for the next 8.5 miles to the campsite. And so beautiful. The brilliant red rock reached up to the azure sky that was liberally sprinkled with kind clouds that shaded our progress. The foliage was not dusty, but a bright green that seemed to shout out the vibrance of life down here. We were passed by numerous horse trains and some Indian maintenance workers who seemed rather friendly.

We reached the village around 1100, and stopped to relax and write postcards which would be carried out by mule train. When I took my pack off, I felt so light, as if I could fly! We paid our entrance ($22 each) and camping fees ($10/night each), and I arranged to ride out. It's actually cheaper to helicopter out, but they don't operate on Satudays. So, Scout, Jo and I split a pack animal fee and were vastly relieved at not having to carry out the packs ... Huzzah! We also took advantage of the last faucet and flush toilet facilities for the duration of our trip before heading out to the campsites.

We had our first view of the Havasu Falls and fell in love. The name "Havasupai" means "people of the blue-green waters." The water plummets down 100 feet into pools that look like petrified wood ... a milky blue-green color derived from lime and travertine deposits. What a sight to behold! I wanted to throw myself into the water immediately, but restrained myself so that we could set up camp first.

We were able to use the site Scout had used last year, which is on high ground, and next to a sheer rock face. Scout set up camp while Jo and I let our abused bodies settle down. Jo actually fell asleep on a picnic table, so Scout and I took a short walk over to the top of Mooney Falls for a quick look.

We all then backtracked to Havasu Falls and frolicked in the water. Swimming, jumping into pools on the lower falls area, and even swimming to behind the main falls. There, the falls struck the surface with such force that we were rather blinded. Scout and Jo climbed up to a ledge and urged me on. However, not being an athletic guy, but a rather out-of-shape girl, I didn't have the upper body strength to hoist myself up. Maybe it's a good thing that SaB didn't come ... the guys think I'm a wuss, but because there are no other girls to compare with, they think I'm a wuss because I'm a girl, and not because I'm a *wimpy* girl!

Jo wanted to set up to take some pix with his camera, but I was too chilled to wait in the shade, so I climbed back up to the top where it was warm and dry. In a way, we are a good team ... Scout (the fearless leader) packed in the tent and propane stove; Jo (the computer guy turned amateur photographer) packed in his camera, tripod and dry sack; and I (super-nurse) packed in the medical supplies.

Got back to the campsite, and our appetites were definitely w(h)et, although our clothes were mostly dry from the dry, hot winds that were coursing through the canyon. I had mashed potatoes and tuna, but also sampled some of the Mountain House dehydrated dinners that Scout had brought. Such a smart idea! Everything is in a ziplock pouch ... just add 2 cups boiling water, reseal for 5 minutes, and voila! a tasty hot meal.

It was still too hot (and early) to bed down for the night, so Scout and I just talked ... about current happenings, family, etc. This is actually the third year in the row that he's come to Havasupai, and he's determined to make it an annual pilgrimage. Just after Labor Day is perfect ... still warm, but the crowds are much sparser.

Finally our body clocks told us it was time to turn in. Scout and Jo both slept on their air mats on top of the tables, and let me have the small tent. So chivalrous. I lay on my air mat on top of my sleeping bag, and kept turning my cool pack over and over on my forehead trying to con my body into thinking it was cool enough to sleep. Overhead, numerous stars twinkled in the sky ... not brilliant as they were at Lake Arrowhead, but friendly and comforting amid the stark darkness.

Havasupai ... Getting There!

Drove out to Havasupai today. In preparation, I decided to get my oil changed. This was a mistake. It took over 2 hours, and left no time to do some of the other things (like shave my legs and get those Dialogue issues from JoW). Anyway, since SaB wasn't able to come at the last moment, I decided to leave at 1400 and avoid the worst part of the traffic. I was trucking along, about an hour or so out. My left foot was perched on the edge of the dashboard, and I decided that I'd need to get another pedicure sometime after I got back. And then I started to get a niggling feeling at the base of my spine, and realized that I'd left my hiking boots back at my apartment! Crikes! There was nothing to do but turn around and retrieve them. Two hours of my life wasted (besides some rather expensive gas)!

All in all, it took 8.5 hours (an egg salad sandwich, some really salty chips, bottles of water and colas, kettle corn, a gas station chipotle hot dog, and many badly sung solos) to drive the 460 miles to the Hualapai trailhead. There was nothing to see so late at night ... not even any stars. Slept in the car, dreaming of blue-green soothing waters.

Looking for Fun in Salt Lake

Woke up early this morning, despite having been out late dancing the night before. *Really* tried to reenter the world of dreams, but the gate was barred.

The heat is still oppressive here in SLC. We're basically living in the basement whenever we're in the house. I know that everyone consoles themselves by saying, "At least it's a dry heat," but the phrase has no comfort for me now!

J came over, and hung out for a bit. It was nice to finally put a name to a face. J's just the type of cool, entertaining and nice (although I hate to use the word) kind of guy to whom I can talk for hours, without nerves or drama, which we did. The four of us (JLITH and Bork came along) drove up to the Joseph Smith Memorial Building to see The Testaments. At first glance, I felt like we had stumbled into an old John Wayne movie ... all the principle actors were caucasian people "painted" to look like Nephites/Lamanites, while all the extras were noticeably ethnic! Also, the love story was rather predictable, and the dialogue less than inspiring. However, the production values were so good, the music stirring, and the scenery so pleasing to the eye, that even I got caught up in it, and maybe shed a tear or two, especially in the scenes where the Saviour appeared.

Back at JLITH's house, Bork and I tried again to send the video clips to Tomi-chan in Japan so that we can our goodbyes to my mother's mother. It's so frustrating ... knowing that Yuki-grandma is so sick, trying desperately to get our messages to her, and falling just short of the mark.

In the afternoon, Scout came and picked me up. We drove out to South Jordan, and he showed me the house where he grew up. As a child, it was strictly farmland as far as he could see. Now, highways and stores are all too visible, and power/telephone lines mar the impressive view of the mountains. His mother just recently sold the property to developers, and the place will be levelled after she moves in 6 months. Scout showed me the irrigation ditches and "gates" which I learned about earlier in Mike Davis' Utopian Societies of the West class. Also saw some 19th century farm equipment, a WWII era functioning truck, and the well! Scout said that he grew up on well water, and that the house got hooked up to "city water" within the last decade.

We then met up with some of Scout's friends. I almost laughed, it was like being in a "Stages of Dating" montage! There was Scout and I, the Just-Friends couple. Then S and E, the Engaged couple, visiting from Ohio. Lastly there was T and K, the Married-for 10-Years-with-4-Kids couple. It could have been awkward ... but it wasn't. Everyone was so friendly and eager to be friends.

We drove out to Silver lake. I actually have no idea where it is, but it took a drive deep into a canyon, and a 30 minutes of bumping over unpaved road to reach this little jewel of a lake. Of course, once there, S came to the realization of what was for dinner. The assignments had been clear: T to bring the cannoes and BBQ, Scout to bring dessert and drinks, and everything else for S. Well, S brought the chicken and ...... and the pot in which was marinading in! No plates, utensils, napkins, veggies or bread, etc! Ended up using pliers and fingers to cook the chicken, and the pot lid as our only plate. Luckily, Scout had brought up canned soda and pre-cut cheesecake, or we would have been swigging from a liter bottle and using who-knew-what to cut the cake!

The lake was, as previously stated, lovely. As we glided the surface, the only sounds I heard was my occassional laugh, and the sound of water rolling off the paddles. The mosquitoes were out in force, but for once I was not a target, thanks to K's preparedness. She'd brought up drier sheets, which we wiped all over our skin ... I was dubious, but it worked like a charm! Much better than DEET! Watched birds, the stately snow-capped peaks, a beaver, a gorgeous sunset, and bashful stars appear in all their glory.

Just before it got too dark, we started a fire ... with help from some obliging departers who gave us some newspaper and wood. Staring into the fire, we huddled together for warmth as we talked about anything and everything.

Spork Says Goodbye

Spork was over last night ... ostensibly to tape a goodbye video to grandma. We didn't get nearly that far! He ended up writing it out, and translating it over the phone with mom. However, when it came time to tape, he decided to wait until the next night so that he could rehearse, and make it as coherent as possible. We agreed to meet at his work to tape it before I left for Salt Lake to do the deed, and he went on his merry way.

The next day, after finishing work, and resigning myself to the fact that I wasn't going to be able to go dancing after the taping, I headed up to Burbank. I called Spork when I got off the freeway, and we chatted until I made my way to the parking lot. Had to go through two security stations and three sets of elevators before I made it to him. I should have left the tripod in the car, but I thought it would be good to bring it along to get the best images. Oops! The dyed-redhair security guard was immediately on alert, and "escourted" me up to the Penthouse. Asked why I had equipment, and I easily told her. She seemed to believe me, but was still disquieted. Obviously she took her job very seriously. Well, we finally got up to Spork's floor. Turned the corner out of the elvator lobby, and ... "Boo!" Out popped my little brother from behind a door! I don't know who was more surprised, me, Red, or Spork! After a brief pause and some mumbled apologies (and stiffled laughter on my part), Red questioned my brother about his "activities." Apparently we were not supposed to do any unauthorised filming, but after hearing (again) that our purpose was to say goodbye to our dying grandmother in Japan, she overcame her reservations. Red still cautioned us to use only the conference room, and enquired after Spork's boss, but she left us alone.

Spork's message was simple and endearing. He recalled old memories and expressed love and appreciation in that charming way of his. I sometimes forget how good his Japanese is, a result of having spent the most time in Japan and California with Yuki grandma. I also saw how closely his features recall my father's at that young age. I think that Spork is having the hardest time with her illness ... partly because he has never experienced grief before, and partly because I think he struggles with a belief in the immortality of the soul and eternal progression. We'd spoken about it briefly the night before, but it takes more than a few words to work these things through. I hope that when he's ready to talk about it again, that he'll come to one of us.

It's a Wrap!

Woke up early. Body stiff and still feeling punished. Dan (who I've yet to meet) never arrived. We came to the conclusion that he was prevented from coming by emergency hemorrhoid surgery. Poor guy!

Drive home was swift and uneventful. Nap was marvelous, as was the smells of BBQ'd beans and ribs for the Safehouse dinner Wonder Woman was sponsoring! Now who do I see through my magical looking glass? I see Wonder Woman, Perky, BW, DW, Kerri, KL, HC, Laughtear, BFF, MeB, SEM, Gadget Boy and roommate, MoB, SEE, Ballerina, The Dot, JoC, White Boy, Minnie, PoetN, Drummer Boy, Stretch, weirdo guy I didn't know, and a few others than I can't name. I really love the Safehouse dinners! It just feeds into my theory that sitting down (esp to eat) adds a lot of depth to any conversation.

Most people left by around 9:30. SEE stayed to download more music onto the old (well, really it's new!) 'puter. I have more music than I can ever listen to ... but makes the compilation of mixed cd's very fun. I never buy any music from iTunes until I've checked to see that he's already given it to me.

Had to kick SEE out at 2230 so that I could drive Perky to the airport. Very very tired by the time I returned. Sleep is so wonderful. And that's a wrap for a wonderful, if not slightly punishing weekend.