I am back

I am writing again. But it is not in this blog.

Sincerely : Naz

Things happened in my life for the past few weeks or better yet for the past few months that made me come to this conclusion that sometimes, being nice is a waste of time. A smile doesn't mean shit to anyone, and even a decent conversation on a neutral issue is considered as disrespectful. Sometimes I can't even figure out what is wrong, what are the real issues, is it me, or is it them, or is it both parties. Whatever it is, I am so tired trying to figure out what people wants from me. There is a time that I want to just let it out when people are treating me like I am nothing, that my feelings don't count, that my friendship is worthless, (I can only imagine the extend the damages that I can do). For once in my life I feel like I deserve to lose control, just whack anyone who has issue with me, "Ini kali lah" but my "Ini kali lah" never happen. Every time those things happen, I would just step back, take a deep breath and remind myself, that those people are not worth my time nor my respect even less my friendship, I would just accept what people say about me, how people act towards me, each and every blow, like a punching bag.

Why is it hard for me to do to those things, to lash out at people, calling them names, to raise my voice or even my hand, to push them aside, to act like I don't even care if it hurts their feeling, to demean them, or humiliate them? Is it because of my upbringing? The values that my mother often remind me when I was young "to be nice to everyone", "to control my temper and never lose it on anyone", "never be verbally or physically abusive" and "no matter what people do to you, be rational and act accordingly".

I set up my blog as a space for me to share to all my views and to just write. It has been the platform for most of the friendship that I have now, I met great people through this blog, and their friendship means a lot to me. I shared some of the journeys when I fell in love, my first crush, my first broken heart, all the first I ever had. I shared the wonderful things and sometimes not so wonderful things as well. I enjoy and appreciate all the comments that were written on my blog. For me the advice and the point of views shared will always remind me that there are a lot of wonderful people and beautiful minds out there, and the vast pool of friendship that can be formed.

However, now, I don't think that I am a very optimist person anymore, so this is my final entry for this blog. Thank you all and till we meet again.

Sincerely
Naz

say awwww......

Missing muse

Hmm....it seems I lost my flair to write, I have a lot of things to tell and share but none is being written. I have been staring at my blog day in and day out thinking on what to write.

"Insanity is doing the thing, over and over again, but expecting different result" - Narcotics Anonymous.

Time out....

Taking time out from all my social networking networks. I really need to go out and smell the roses. So let see how long I can last without my facebook, twitter and blog. To all out there, who read my blog, befriended me on facebook, and follow me on twitter, you have my number, feel free to call and text, and those who doesn't, e-mail me, we can still keep in touch.  

"Me" the pirate

I drew this when I found out that an annual party will be held soon under this theme. Still thinking what should I wear, should my costume be a dress or just wear knee high boots,pants and a vest. 

Bucket List

Lately I don't write as much as I used to. It seems that I don't the time plus the internet connection to do so, except when I am back home. Work has been interesting, my boss indicated that she is the shark in my career, in which I have to keep on swimming or I will drown or being eaten by others.  My colleagues knowing my background are giving support to be all I can be, and encourage me to think of my new work as a career not as a job. I hate math now and now I have to learn to love it. I haven't had the opportunity to do the things I listed down to do in 2013, such as join one walkathon every month, learn how to swim, take extra classes to enhance myself, learn a new language, do voluntary works, visit Perlis,backpack at least once somewhere out of Malaysia, buy books from any genres at least two books every month and read them.

However I managed to join some voluntary activities, 1 out of 8 from the list, it is only the month of march, I still have 9 months to go.  (",). All are works in progress.  

The darndest things

Before going to the supermarket:

Mum : Naz, look at my car, it is "bersih" than yours. Because of that you are to drive me to the supermarket. It would be a shame for me to "kotorkan" my car.

In my car :

Mum : You car is hot, I can't feel the aircond. (Started to sing) "oh......... begini rasanya, hati ku sengsara, naik kereta,tiada aircond......(repeatedly) "

Naz : Mak, you are so the drama queen. 

Mak : Dik, I will always be the queen, I am your mother. 

Movie Day

Movie day with D was interesting, we made a lot of noises while watching "Warm Bodies", commenting on the illogical scenes of the movie. We ate popcorn and even smuggled some pretzels (sour & onion / Parmesan cheese). And I love the toilet break. Nothing beats watching movie at the comfort of your own home, in this case D's home. We were supposed to go to for a movie that day, however since D' injured her knee, I brought the movie experience to her. It was fun!!!! 

Sexy people

I volunteered myself to assist an organization in doing translation as well as voice over for educational videos. The first meeting was last Saturday, I met a lot of interesting individuals,who actually volunteered themselves to be a part of the projects. Some of them are students, some are graduates waiting to be employed. The backbone of the organization are people who aim to bring opportunity to students all over Malaysia to be able to independently study by fully utilizing the Internet. They are friends who took upon themselves to established the organization.

I took the advice of a friend to use a certain platform to socially interact with others. I am a bit skeptic because who knows who will you meet. Fortunately for me, I met someone interesting, who reads a lot, who appreciate literature and classical written by renown authors. Who believes in the wonders of reading and appreciating nature as well as other cultures. It changes my perception in a lot of things. And I am glad that I found a new friend, for me, whose brain is sexy. (hehehehe) 

"An intellectual is a person who's found one thing that's more interesting than sex" - (Aldous Huxley)