Rylee's Baptism

My cute niece Rylee made the big decision to be baptized as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I am so proud of her choice to make covenants with our Heavenly Father and to be worthy to receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost.  She got baptized on Independence Day which is also very fun to think about symbolically.

I love going to baptisms to reflect on my own baptism and the covenants that I made when I was eight years old. I am so thankful for those covenants and that I get to renew them each Sunday by partaking of the sacrament.

Lake Mary

Huzzah!! After 4 summers together I finally got Brock to hike Lake Mary. It's at the top of Big Cottonwood Canyon, it's 1.2 miles each way and is seriously just the most beautiful, peaceful, serene place, I never get tired of going here! We were in town over the 4th of July and decided this would be a fun activity for the weekend, so we met up with our friends from Rexburg, Jadden and Annie, and made it happen!

Feb 14

February 14th is not my favorite day. It marks the anniversary of losing our first baby and a life changing surgery. It is a day that holds romantic value for a lot of people in the world, but to me it holds zero. It is a day to think about love, but a different kind of love than everybody else.

Brock and I have decided that each year on Valentine's Day, we will go to the temple and do sealings. It is a way to think about our baby waiting for us on the other side of the veil, and an opportunity to give other families who have gone before that same blessing. I absolutely love it. 

This year since it was a Saturday we decided to make a getaway out of it and go to Logan. Neither of us had ever done work in that temple so it was fun. We drove down Friday night, ate at the Beehive Grill I think it was called, whatever it was, it was good. 

Saturday we had a lazy morning and then went to the temple. We did a session and then did sealings. I really love going to the temple and not having ANY time restrictions. We just enjoyed being there and serving. I worked really hard to have family names ready. We were able to do sealings for over 20 of my ancestors!! (I love family history!)

After the temple we went to Texas Roadhouse and then hit the road back to Rexburg. Overall it was a quick trip, but getaways no matter how small are always fun and provide us with great time together. 

Disneyland Bucket List

It is no secret that I love Disneyland.  What might be a little more secret is that I do have a Disneyland bucket list.  Go to Disneyland with nieces and nephews, check. Go with a friend and no family, check. Go with the love of my life, check. Go during Halloween, check.  Go during spring break, check. (That one wasn't really on the bucket list, but a note worthy feat nonetheless because spring break is CRAZY there.) Go on certain rides, eat at certain places in the park, you know, enough for the full Disneyland spectrum!

One of the bucket list items has always been to go to Disneyland around Christmas time.  I have always wanted to see Main Street covered in Christmas lights, fireworks over the castle to Christmas music, snow on Main Street, etc.  This year Brock and I were in California for Thanksgiving so I decided I was going to do it.  He was planning on hanging Christmas lights on all of the Camarillo Barlow houses on Black Friday, and since he isn't a huge Disneyland fan, I figured it was the perfect chance for me to steal away and go!  Alisa was AWESOME and offered to come with me even though her season pass was blacked out that day.  I was prepared to go alone which would have been fine, but it was so fun to go with another Disney enthusiast!

I can't lie, I was a little underwhelmed with the Christmas decor throughout the park at the beginning of the day.  The giant tree at Town Square was awesome, but other than that, nothing to impressive.  But as the day went and we went to the different "lands", I was able to notice the creativity of how they wove Christmas into the various themes.  Cars Land was by far my favorite.  There were Christmas trees made out of tires, out of traffic cones, wreaths made out of mufflers, garland, etc.

A fun first other than Christmas decorations was that the Canoes were actually open!  They never have the canoes open when I am there so I convinced Alisa to come with me.  Super fun and also very funny!

As the day went on and the sun started going down, all the Christmas lights came on.  That is when it got really awesome and all the underwhelming feelings went down the drain.  The Christmas tree in Town Square was incredible with all of the lights.  I sat there as Alisa ran for some churros while we waited for the parade and just basked in the glow of it's beauty and ambiance.

Then came the Christmas parade.  Talk about clever on a million different levels!  So much wintery goodness in Anaheim!  There was skiing, ice skaters, snowball fights, Christmas ball, Santa's workshop, gingerbread men, nutcrackers, the whole 9 yards, it was awesome!

After that was the best part.  The firework show!!  Disney knows how to do fireworks, there is no doubt about that.  But they really outdid themselves with this.  It was fireworks to Christmas music!  I literally got emotional watching the beautiful fireworks light up the sky listening to "Silent Night" "Away in a Manger" and all of the other wonderful Christmas songs.  I couldn't help but watch the fireworks and think about how if only people knew the night that Christ was born and the gift he would offer this world, they would have lit up the sky like this and praised his name.  I understand that it was the plan for Christ to come in humble circumstances, and I look forward to when He comes again and will come in glory this time.  It was so beautiful and serene.  To top it all off there was fake snow that blew onto us along Main Street, it was fabulous.  They also lit up the castle and had it covered in snow and icicles.  Seriously....magical.  Well done Disney, as usual, it was worth every penny and never disappoints.

Oh ya, Small world is what I anticipate our future house

looking at Christmas time with how much

Brock loves hanging lights.

Event Planning

Hidden fact about me:  I love event planning.  I always have, and I expect that I always will.  Whether it was planning a movie night growing up with friends, student body events in high school, Cadet parties at MCPD, weddings, etc, I love it all!  The annual Avantguard company holiday party has been a blast to plan the last few years.  I arranged with the Rexburg Legacy Flight Museum as our event location and BYU-Idaho did the catering.  It is super easy, budget friendly and is seriously just cool, but maybe that's the plane nut in me coming out.

Dec 2013

January 2015

Ye Shall Obtain

Today I am grateful.  I am grateful for Sundays, for the Gospel of Jesus Christ, for the inspired leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, for my husband, and for loving Heavenly Father.

We had stake conference last night and this morning in the Rexburg Idaho Married Student 2nd Stake, and what a blessing it has been. Elder Jeffrey D. Erickson was our presiding authority and he taught the congregation wonderful lessons and invited a spirit that touched my heart.

As some people may know, I have been married to my sweetheart now for almost three years.  This upcoming Saturday marks the two year anniversary of losing our first child.  It is a very tender time of year for both of us, but as the female of the group, I tend to be more emotional about it.  This wasn't a quiet loss of a baby, read back further on the blog if you want the whole story, but the pregnancy was ectopic and resulted in major surgery that has changed my life in many ways.  For those who know us well, you know that it is no secret that we have been trying to conceive again since we got the approval from our doctor a few months after the surgery and but have not yet been blessed with a pregnancy.  In the meantime, we keep loving life, loving each other, and most importantly, loving our Heavenly Father and Savior.  People can cast judgement on us for our situation in life, but if they knew the desires of hearts as our Father does, they would be ashamed, for our desires and true and pure.

When people do find out that we have been trying for children and don't have any yet, they tend to start to ask questions, which I am generally happy to answer in reverence.  Throughout the whole process I have felt that the topic of miscarriages and infertility make a majority of people uncomfortable, which is sad to me, because it is an incredible process of pain and healing that all can benefit from, even if they haven't gone through it personally.  So as I said, for those that ask and want to know about it, I am happy to help them learn.

One of the questions I hear most is, "Is it hard being around so many young married couples that are expecting or have children already?"  The answer is yes.  It is hard.  But if life wasn't hard for me, I wouldn't learn and grow.  It is hard for me to hear expecting mothers complain about how uncomfortable they are in their pregnancy, or how their baby was an "accident" or a "whoops".  There is no such thing.  It is hard for me to hear parents whine and complain about sleepless nights from feedings and diaper changing.  I would give anything to have a sweet little baby that needed me in the middle of the night.  I anxiously await the discomforts of pregnancy in order to help our little one grow healthy and strong. I long to raise children that will serve in God's kingdom on this earth and the life after.  Do I think these mothers are bad?  Absolutely not.  I am grateful that they are able to have children without going through what I have, because it is not for the faint of heart.  But it is hard because I have a different perspective a heart that earns for that part of my life to begin.

Another question I hear regularly is, "Why do you think this happening to you?"  That one again has an easy answer, and it is because this is our loving Heavenly Father's plan for us.  If I had things my way in life, I would have two children and perhaps thinking about number three.  But the good news, is the God has a plan for each and every one of His children, and His plan is so much better for us than our own plans could ever be.  I have so much faith and trust in His plan for me that I never let myself ask why.  There are brief seconds where the natural man in me starts to ask why, but the Holy Ghost instantly testifies to me in those moments that I cannot ask "why?", doing so will only tear me apart and put me in a dark place.  I have a few wonderful examples of women in my life that were never able to get pregnant or married too late in life to have children, and they show me by their example, that regardless of why it is happening, it is happening, so trust God's plan and put your shoulder to the wheel and keep serving Him with all of your heart.  So that is what I do, and I am eternally grateful for the strength I derive from their examples.

As far as questions go, there are a few who ask, "What has your doctor said?"  First off, my doctor is simply amazing.  It turned out to be such a blessing that he was the OB on call on the night when I had emergency surgery.  (Bless his wife's heart that he got called in at 4 pm on Valentine's Day and was in surgery for over 4 hours and who knows how much paper work after.)  He is the perfect doctor for a girl like me.  He answers all my questions without making me feel dumb, he is positive and feels optimistic about everything, but still listens to my concerns.  He hasn't been concerned about infertility seeing as how we have been pregnant before, but he did ask for a few tests to be done to be sure that my left fallopian tube was open (as the right one was removed in the surgery).  Sure enough, every thing looks great and we are so grateful for that.

All of this brings me back to the title of this post and the rant about stake conference and the Gospel at the beginning.  Today, as Elder Erickson spoke about increasing our faith in various aspects of life and how it will bless and strengthen our families, I had a strong witness born to me by the Spirit.  Towards the end of his address, as I pondered on what he was saying, the question of "why?"  that I so regularly shun from my thoughts before it seeps in, was answered.  I didn't ask and hadn't necessarily been thinking about the desire that I have to be a mother, but in that moment, it was as plain as day, that the reason why we do not have any children on this earth yet, is because God loves me.  He loves my sweetheart.  And that is why we do not have children yet.  I did not inquire further as to how that makes any sense, because my heart was at peace and had all of the explanation that it needed.  God loves me.  He is aware of me.  He knows my heart and is taking care of me every single day.  He loves me and when the time is right according to His plan, we will be blessed with children.  God's Plan of Salvation is unmistakably tied around the family unit.  He will not strip us of the opportunity to fill the measure of our family unit and hinder our growth within the plan.  Whether in this life or the next, His promises for each of us will be fulfilled, and it will be better than we could ever imagine or plan for ourselves.

The closing hymn was sung as a solo by a sister who used to be in our ward that has an amazing voice.  She sang "I Believe in Christ" (LDS Hymnal #134), which is the hymn that has my favorite line in the whole hymn book and possibly all of music, which is "I believe in Christ, so come what may!"  That lines has given me so much strength through the years and I firmly live by it.  Today as I anticipated hearing those glorious words, I noticed the words that precede it, and it struck my heart as a hope in addition to the answer of "Because God loves me" from a few moments prior.  The line that precedes it says "And while I strive through grief and pain, His voice is heard 'ye shall obtain'. I believe in Christ, so come what may!"

(You'll notice at 2:50 seconds when the words that struck me in stake conference today are being sung, a particularly handsome man in glasses in the bottom of the screen.  What a tender mercy to hear and see my father sing those words to me today!)

I believe in Christ, so come what may.  I have an incredible husband that stands by my side through everything.  I know that God loves me and has a plan for me.  I have complete faith in His plan and trust Him with all of my heart.  I am grateful for the atoning sacrifice of His son, Jesus Christ, who not only knows my pains and my heartache, but carries those burdens for me, so that I can enjoy and love every single day of my life.  It is because of that sacrifice that I wake up smiling everyday and ready to take on the challenges that face me.  It is that sacrifice that lets me laugh with my husband daily instead of cry.  It is that sacrifice that fills my heart with joy because I can serve those around me.  It is that sacrifice that helps me prepare myself in all that I do to be the mother of the children that I know I will lovingly hold in my arms one day.  I am grateful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and I know that it is the true church on the earth today.

BYU Football

This fall we decided to mix things up a little bit. We had a bit of an empty spot after baseball season ended, so we decided to spoil ourselves and get BYU season tickets for football. It was a bit of a commitment as it is a 4 hour drive to Provo, but we did it. Brock's sisters (Kate and Michelle) both got two tickets each so we all sat by each other and had a great time.

When all was said and done, it was a rough season, but game after game, we were loyal strong and true. We cheered them on and got our hearts slightly crushed along the way. We'll decide in a few months if it is worth having season tickets while living so far away, but it was fun while it lasted. 

Rise and shout the Cougars are out!!