Vote. It does matter

It does matter.  If it didn't, they wouldn't gerrymander.  Or make it difficult to vote.  They continue to massacre the voting rights acts.  They wouldn't take out drop boxes.  If they felt their policies were supported, they would want you to endorse them.  They know only a small minority of men support this Christian nationalist agenda.  Yes, there are some women that stand by this.  Aren't there always?  I remember reading the Handmaid's Tale and being horrified by the women that supported that way of life.  The women that were unable to birth children and so they allowed their husbands to rape the handmaid's monthly.  Hoping that the procreation was intact.  Those complicit women are the most vile.  They think they have power.  All the while stripping all other women from equal rights.  Think all of the blonde women who Christian signal.  You know who I am referring to.  

The minority knows.  They know.  They know that people do not support project 2025.

Or giving billionaires tax breaks.  Those tax breaks are passed on to you.  They deregulate.  Knowing they will be dead when the environment or water is no longer livable or clean.  They do not care.  They want to focus on profits.

That is why the government should not be modeled on a business or CEO driven plan.  

In reflecting on that, take time to vote.  If you cannot vote by mail, vote in person.  I will continue to bring it up in every environment that I am in.  The one person that I encounter and am the most disappointed in is this man that is 40 years old.  Gleefully, he informs me that he has never voted.  WHAT?  in the AF?  He is so disinterested in this opportunity.  I do not understand it, at all.  I cannot.

I am privileged due to my white skin.  I know that I am perceived as someone who supports the current bullshit.  I do not.  I have never once voted for this.  I was raised Catholic but at an early age knew that my values did not align with what they were preaching.  I remember reading the Canterbury Tales and seeing how it was still relevant.  The characters in that book (mostly vile) were redeemed if they went to church.  The vicar had syphilis.  How do you contract syphilis as a person of God?  Oh.  That's right.  You are a whore.

But, according to the church, if you go to confession, you can confess and receive redemption.  It creates a vicious cycle for sinners.  And that is what christian nationalism is all about.  

Sin.  confess.  Repeat.  It is gross.  This is why a lot of people have moved away from churches.  They do not support the justification of sin/redemption.

I believe in faith.  In treating others as you would like to be treated.  

I do not support the hellfire and damnation that is being spouted from the current religious state.  Get out of your bubble.  Talk to people you do not know.  You will be surprised.  All ethnicities are taught to fear others.  Stop feeding this fear.

Vote for yourself.

Vote for your daughters.  Vote for the environment.  Get out of the cult mentality.

Clarity

Good afternoon.  Happy Sunday.  Here is to some clarity and reflection.  My birthday was last Sunday, and it was truly a terrific experience.  I am blessed!  I feel very fortunate to my friends that chose to join me in Santa Fe to celebrate.  Of course, having a built-in wine festival always helps with the planning.  It was an easy sell.  Come to Santa Fe.  Attend wine and chile.  Drink wine.  

Who wouldn't want to join?  Or knowing that 10,000 Waves was included in the mix.  One of my favorite places to soak.  It was a big week of celebrating and too much wine and drinking if I am honest.  Getting older is not for the weary, lol.  I do not bounce back like I did when I was in my 20's or 30's.  There is the inflammation factor and recognizing the necessity of taking a break.  Giving my body time to rest and recover from all of the rich foods, chips, salsa and wine.  All of the pesky things that inflame the body.  I looked into aryuveda a few years ago and discovered that I am a Pitta.  I should minimize foods that increase the inflammation and instead focus on balancing my hormones.  Eliminate caffeine, dairy, alcohol, spicy foods, garlic, tomatoes, basically everything I love.  However, I understand that it does help.  I chose to eat chicken lemon soup on Tuesday and some hummus.  Immediately felt less pressure on my digestion.  And, yes, I could have been better eliminating chicken.  But I didn't want to put my body into complete shock!  I did try to order food from an aryuvdic restaurant in Santa Fe, but they were out of the kitchari, the daal and the other special that looked most appealing.  I chose to walk away and try another visit instead of being upset about what I ordered.  They were busy and out of the items I was interested in.  The lemon chicken soup was the substitute from the nearby greek spot.  It was comforting and delicious.

Your body gives you signs of unease and disease.  Listen to it.  Do not ignore when something feels off and assume it will get better on its own.  I believe within every injury, pain, disease, there is an emotional component to it.  Perhaps because I have been reading You Can Heal Your Life.  Yet it resonates.  Or after hearing stories from people who have had three back surgeries in the same spot.  At some point do you look inward and question what is the root of the issue?

I am feeling drawn to energies of people and what speaks to me.  More intuitive in the last few days.  I don't think this is new.  Only that I am more open to leaning into that if it makes sense.  There is something about feeling confident/comfortable with yourself and what your purpose could be.

Enjoy your Sunday.  

Gratitude

Happy Thursday, aka thankful Thursday.  Or there used to be a blogger that I followed that always shared a thankful Thursday post.  I attempted to do it for a while.  I believe I was better about it years ago.  Some habits do not stick.

Do you ever find yourself doing that?  Discarding habits that took twenty-one days to set up.  Finally settling into the routine only to find that after some time the habit did not stick?  For example, I had been trying to do hip openers every morning.  I had been experiencing some tight tendons and some disability sleeping due to hip pain.  All of the joys of getting older and experiencing the change.  I did a little research and found that I could incorporate a few hip stretches to help minimize the pain.  Yogi squat, frog and then rolling out my hip flexors.  Daily I would get up and begin with the yogi squat.  It definitely helps but then I shifted my focus to the daily walks.   With the fires popping up everywhere, I try to walk earlier in the day since the heat is not as bad.  Still, my eyes burn and my allergies have kicked up.  I might have to shift my focus again to avoid the outdoor heat.  

It is important to express gratitude for things in your life.  I am thankful for my shelter, my car, my community.  Even the multiple gigs that I am doing to supplement my income.  I wish there was a little more consistency at times.  However, because I am committed to my dream of being my own boss/business owner, I appreciate these side gigs.  There is flexibility and some overlap.  I run into former colleagues, customers and current colleagues.  I ran into one of the gals from the contract service on Saturday.  She brought me a plate of food since I was bartending, and she was helping with food prep.  It was so kind and made the others jealous.  I did share some of the food with one of my co-workers.  And I offered Diana a soda as a way to say thank you.  I think that is the organic way we all coexist in the service industry.  Caterers offer food to the bartenders.  Bartenders offer beverages.  It is the way the service.  

I continue to consider things that I can personally do to feel like I am making things better in my community.  Today, for example, instead of ignoring the kiosk with the guys with a petition, I listened to what they had to say. Typically, I rush past as I am in a hurry to achieve my next task.  Today, I signed the petition to help elect another board member to the city council.  We all need to do something to minimize the damage that is currently being done to us as citizens.  We are in this together and will get out of it together.

Finding joy is essential.  I want to reiterate that.  Finding joy, laughing, spending time with loved ones.  Have gratitude for the simplicity of smiling, of walking around a park, sipping a beverage.  

Have gratitude for yourself, your life, your community.  

Speaking up more & correcting bad habits

Today I walked into my landlord's bank.  I am required to deposit my rent at her bank instead of dropping a check off to her.  Keep in mind she lives in the unit above me and so that would be the preferred option.  In all of my years of renting from her, I have paid her directly only during my first month of renting and Covid.  Even during Covid, it was only a few months where she allowed us to pay her directly.

At any rate, I walk into her credit union and there are two tellers working.  Four people in line.  The parking lot was full and so I wasn't that surprised at the line.  Another teller jumped in to manage the line and I was patiently waiting.  I know Nora's account number and the requirements of the transaction.  Waiting in line was not a deterrent.

An older gentleman emerged from the back of the bank.  He passed by me to go to the bathroom.  I didn't think much of him.  I figured he had finished his business and wanted to use the bathroom before departing.  However, when my turn to approach the available teller, this man reappears and hijacks my spot.  He had another question for the teller.

I did not interrupt him.  I was surprised that he felt he could do that.  And perhaps, I relied on that he was elderly.  Honestly, I don't know why I didn't say anything to him.  In hindsight, I should have.  He could have waited in line like the rest of us were.  Behind me was an even older (elderly) guy who needed to sit down while he was waiting to check in.  This entitled man felt comfortable making himself a priority.  

The teller assisting him rolled her eyes when he approached but didn't say anything to prohibit it.  I made a comment to the gal that helped me and she apologized.  Still, no one said anything to this entitled man.  I want to stop deferring to people who feel entitled.  Start calling people out for their terrible behavior.  I need to unlearn this polite behavior.  If someone jumps the queue or is an asshole, I want to say something.  I am tired of enabling this crappy behavior.  

In addition, I am surprised at the amount of people who continue to talk while eating.  It is such a disgusting habit.  I do not want to watch you chew your food and talk at me.  I feel like it is occurring more frequently.  How have we, collectively, forgotten how to exist in society?  No one wants to watch people consume their food while talking.  It is deplorable.  

Do better.  That is all I am suggesting.  

I would not behave that way.  Why is it that some people feel it is okay to only focus on their needs and wants?  It was really irritating.  I feel like I have been taught to defer to elderly people or men.  The tellers were mostly female.  As irritated as they were with this guy, they didn't correct him either.  We must do better.

No more dimming your light or making yourself smaller to accommodate a mediocre person.  

Gratitude and reminders

Every day I am reminded the importance of connection and community.  I did not have a cell phone until 2006.  I was very resistant to attain one.  All of my friends had them, but I was determined to let people call my land line and leave a message if they needed to contact me.   I suppose that was somewhat arrogant, but I didn't care.  I did not want to be available to people at all times.  

Then Brian died.  It was terrible and I was trying to figure out how to navigate it.  What made sense to me probably wouldn't speak to most people.  I refused to go to grief counseling.  Instead, I chose to take a couple road trips.  At that point, I knew I would want a cell phone to ensure that I could contact my people and feel comfortable.  So I bought some random flip phone (yes, I am that old).  I signed up with T-Mobile since Tiffany and Jimmy both used that service.  

Eventually I added data and felt more comfortable using the phone.  I upgraded to an android but have never felt it necessary to consider an I-phone or the latest model of an android.  I have opted to find a phone that isn't too expensive and that is reliable.  I use it for my business and keeping in contact with friends.  It tracks my steps, takes photos, allows for texts.  I use it often.  Too much if I am being honest.  It is not at all where I thought I would end up.  

Technology has enabled some good things.  The opportunity to book cars to get to and from.  Booking airline tickets, looking at reviews, enhancing photos...And opened us up to a ton of vile things.  Surveillance, tracking, paying more for receiving less.  Cutting out the human connection.  As much as some people want to promote AI, I would prefer speaking to a human being.  Hearing the emotions in their voice and being able to discern what the issue is.  There are issues with being technologically reliant.  It becomes more apparent when people become angry, depressed, afraid, ashamed, embarrassed.  A machine cannot correct that.  You need human connection.  

I was reminded today about compassion.  We need connection and interaction.  Someone we trust and that we know is in our corner.  AI cannot achieve that.  

I am thankful for my community and how it is expanding and evolving.  That is all I am going to reflect on.  And I will listen to my radio more and eliminate using my phone.  I must break up with the surveillance tracking and monopolization of my time.  There is a reason for human interaction.

Celebrate, enjoy and taste life~

Habits

When July started, I signed up for this tai chi walking challenge.  Figuring, why not?  What do I have to lose to try out this guided walking challenge?  Multiple ads had found their way to my social media.  I was inundated on instagram, facebook and youtube.  In route to a much-needed pedicure, I signed up.  Of course, doing this while driving is not the smartest or safest thing to do.  I can be impulsive and midway through the process I was doubting myself.  Yet, committed to the process with the promise of a discount.  The discount is also the hook that reels me in.

I have been struggling with the change, stress, cortisol build up and overall, not feeling great in my body.  I attempted an ayruvedic approach (which I stand by).  The main issue with this approach is the elimination of caffeine, alcohol, dairy, sugar, night shade vegetables.  Basically, anything that inflames your body.  For me, specifically, I identify as a Pitta.  I was given a recommended diet of cooked vegetables and spices.  Had I fully tried this approach, I believe, I would have been successful.  I see the benefits of eating warm food and slowing down while eating.  Creating specific times to eat and focus on the digestion.  It did not align with my life.  I work for a catering company and cannot tell them I need to sit down to focus on my digestion during service.  Ironically, I was able to cut out caffeine with ease.  I did not drink coffee for eight months of 2025.  I flirted with eliminating wine and tequila from my daily livelihood.  It didn't really stick.

I tried cutting out processed foods.  But I love chips and salsa.  And I want joy in my life.  I shifted my focus to manageable things that would make me feel better.  In that regard, the tai chi walking is a better fit.  Could I do more?  Yes.  I could minimize the said dairy, processed foods, wine.  I am working on the stress component.  Some days are better than others.  The most recent news of the disappearance of Nolan Wells is making that difficult.  There still are so many unanswered questions to what happened to that kid.  And so many inconsistencies that lead me to think that there is a cover up.  They do not want to be transparent about what happened on July 4th to that young man.  I feel terrible for his parents.  The lack of knowing what happened in his final hours would be heart breaking.  I remember when I was called and told that something had happened to Brian.  That there had been an accident and Brian was hurt.  The guy who called me had no other information and it was so frustrating to not be able to contact Brian or anyone who knew what happened outside of that there had been an accident.  I remember calling hospitals to see if he had been admitted.  Calling the police to see if they had him or knew what had happened.  It is horrifying to not be able to contact someone you love.

I cannot stop thinking about how his mother is feeling losing her child.  I feel that there is independent media following the story and a bunch of people who are making it visible.  They will not be able to cover up what happened.  The truth will come out.  And, regardless of if no foul play was a factor, his friends still left him on the island.  That is negligent to me.   Or that they do not appear that concerned that he was missing.  Why wouldn't they reach out to his family and say, we have his phone and car keys?  There is no reason to have his belongings and not let his family know.  I reiterate, when I was notified that my boyfriend had an accident, all I wanted to know was that he was okay.  That he would be coming home.  I remember trying to barter with God that I would be better if he would let Brian come home.  Completely irrational.  But I was grasping at anything to make sure he was okay.

So, back to the tai chi walking.  They suggest a number of steps to walk daily and offer multiple guided workouts to supplement some of the steps.  Lymphatic draining, walking indoors, boxing, light strength training.  I have been committed to the program with one exception.  My weekend in Aspen derailed since I did not have cell service at the Ranch.  I was unable to track my steps and so it looked like I was a couch potato for a few days, lol.  

The best outcome is that I am walking daily four to six miles.  I feel lighter in general.  No longer bogged down physically or emotionally.  So there is that.  

I am not perfect and I barely have answers for myself.  Yet, I want to continue moving forward with trial and error with the change.  I am finding more confidence in saying no, that doesn't work for me.  I like that factor.

Do what feels right to you.  Until later.....

Do what feels right to you

I am navigating this new stage of life for me.  Somewhere between perimenopause and hanging out to the normalcy of being a woman.  Translation, I am still experiencing my period regularly.  It varies a little and I am experiencing some of the side effects of the joyful change.  Night sweats, gluteal tendinopathy, some stubborn cortisol build up.  (Sexy things to consider, I know.  It is only where I am at in my life currently).  Trying to figure out the best way to maneuver this is challenging.  Some friends have relied on birth control, hormone replacement therapy, other medications, supplements, creams.  There is no defined course of action as not only is it not researched that much, people do not talk about it.  It is an awkward topic, yet it affects all women at some point.  

Knowing that, I was surprised when I met a nurse practitioner the other day.  She was confident and loved what she does.  Truly, I love that for her.  I love that she is passionate about helping people on the journey of womanhood and menopause.  She wanted to be helpful to me, but was dismissive when I told her I have been using a yam cream to counter the night sweats.  It is a topical cream that has been a game changer for me.  Definitely decreased the night sweats that had been waking me up nightly.  She sort of scoffed when I mentioned what I had been doing.  Immediately she suggested using a low dose birth control.  Even suggested a brand and that I could take it for a few years and then switch to a hormone replacement therapy.  

My takeaway was that it was unsolicited advice.  And that she didn't value treatments that did not include hormones or pills.  Not everyone responds to birth control.  It doesn't decrease some of the symptoms and makes life more difficult.  I realized that I should do what speaks to me.  In most things, I should do what makes sense to me.  I have never followed the "right way" to be successful.  I will not start now.

There is trial and error with this process.  I am reading more about it and trying to come to terms with where I am at.  I think, for some women, it feels like you are being put out to pasture since you are no longer valued.  Others, it is an awakening.  A time to focus on your needs and say no to what doesn't speak to you any longer.  I keep seeing stories on Threads about break up, divorce, loneliness (supposed/projected).  But is it lonely to be alone?  

I have friends with kids.  I have friends, like me, who chose not to have kids.  My friends with kids love their kids.  Some have a solid balance of being a good parent raising human beings while retaining their own identity.  In most of those cases, they have good co-parents or new partners who also understand the importance of raising human beings, providing boundaries and love.  One of my yoga clients attended a recent session.  Her husband had taken the kids on a day trip and she was like--I have no idea what to do today.  It is liberating to not have concrete plans.  Maybe I will go to the farmer's market?  Or go home and read on my couch.  She seemed a little unprepared to do whatever she wanted.

I, however, do not have that issue.  I love knowing that if I want to drive to Santa Fe to visit Tom, I can.  If I want to check out a new restaurant by myself, I can, at any time.  I am not thinking of someone else's wants, needs or schedule.  I am not lonely.  I think there are other women who are discovering that freedom.  Choosing what they want instead of what the other people in their lives need.  Instead of putting themselves last, they are able to do what they want.  

Only something I am pondering on a Sunday afternoon.  Trying to stay cooler.  It has been hot the last month.  My morning walks have been consistent and mandatory in the a.m.  Otherwise the heat is a deterrent and distraction.

Here is to a chill afternoon, reflection and peppermint hot tea~