The Blooming Red Head

When I was little I used to pray every night that God would turn my hair turn a beautiful auburn color. It never happened. I think that God might be trying to make it up to me now by giving Rose the color hair I always wanted. Ever since she was born she has had alot of red in her hair but it would only show up in the right lighting. Lately her hair has been getting redder and redder and when I take her places people always call her "the cute little red head." I'm thinking that if she doesn't go auburn she at will at least be a strawberry blonde for sure.

Just proof that God always answers our prayers... somehow.

Oh, and Rose also learned her first baby sign today. I've been trying to teach her the sign for "milk" whenever she wants to nurse and I think today it clicked. She got really excited and started signing it over and over again. Jon was sitting next to me when she was eating and he told her "Good job Rosie, you can say milk" and she stopped nursing, sat straight up, looked up and him with a big smile on her face proudly made the sign for milk. Then she went right back to nursing. What a funny girl. I can't believe how grown up she is getting!

New Hair

So here is the moment you all have been waiting for...

But first here is what my hair looked like before.. It is sad the most recent picture I could find of me with my hair down is from way back at Rose's baby blessing in November. Just goes to show you how often I ever took the time to do it... thus one of the reasons it is now all gone.

I've pretty much had the same hair style since I was a Jr. in high school so it was quite the shock to see myself with super short hair. It is still taking me awhile to get use to but I really love. I especially love the fact that all I have to do is add gel and comb it.

Jon likes it. The first time he kissed me he laughed and said, "Woah, it feels like kissing a different woman." The first thing Asher said was, "Oooh, Mama hair pretty" and Rose just smiled and wanted to eat. So I guess it passes the family inspection.

It can also be "done" with the bangs down. This is a little sloppy but you get the idea. I'm still discovering lots of new things to do with it.

I've gotten lots of compliments on it but I don't know if it is just people being nice or if they really like it. But I don't really care... it is fun and it is the change I wanted. It really makes me feel like new person. It is strange how hair can make me feel so different... like I can do and be different things. Even though I know short hair draws attention to your face I'm feeling less self conscious about my leprosy and I feel like I this hair cut makes me feel light, free and at peace with myself.

I'm enjoying it.

Going Short... Way Short

Tomorrow I have an appointment at a salon to go get my hair cut... really, really short.

I'm thinking like Hallie Berry, Audrey Hepburn short.

Something kind of like this

or this



or this

The top one is my favorite and her face shape is about the same as mine so I'm hoping it would look good on me. I am just really tired of my same old hair style. I usually just pull my hair up every day because I don't care enough to blow dry it. I hardly ever wear it down because I'm just not very picky about my hair and it is usually very low on my priorities. Beisdes... I'm really not that good at "doing" my hair.

So what I am hoping to get is a super easy and low matinence hair style. One that I can shower, put gel in it, brush and maybe put in a head band and be done. Does such a thing exist. I'm hoping it does.

I figure that I will either LOVE it or HATE having short hair, but at this point in my life I just need a dramatic change and I'm ready to take my chances.

Have you ever cut your hair short? How did it turn out?

Modern Dancing

For the last few months I've been going to a modern dance class once a week. It makes my body so sore but my heart and spirit so happy.

I danced ballet and jazz when I was younger but when I was about 12 my dance teacher died of a brain aneurysm. It was traumatic for me and I stopped dancing. My mom tried to get me back into a ballet class, but at 14 I was way too self-conscious about my body to go anywhere in pink tights and a leotard. It wasn't until my sophomore year in college that I got up the nerve to take a ballet class. I worked really hard and by the end of the year I had reached my childhood goal of "going on point". I discovered that I was really, really bad at dancing on toe shoes...and that ballet wasn't really my strong point (no pun intended ;).

Then in my junior of college year I discovered Modern Dance and fell in love with it. I think that if I had discovered Modern Dance my freshman or sophomore year of college I would have majored in it. I loved it that much. I still kind of wish that I had majored in Dance Education. Oh well.

What I love about modern dance is that it is all about individuality and creativity. It doesn't matter what type or size of body you have, how well you can do the steps, or how strong or flexible you are. Sure those things help make you a better dancer, but what really matters is that you discover the connection between your body and your soul and are willing to share it with others. I think the scripture in D&C 88:15 explains this concept by saying," And the spirit and the body are the soul of man". I think that is what makes dance such a powerful medium. It is the only art form where the artist is able to share not only their spirit with you, but also their body... and when those two are complete unified it is the most beautiful form of art because you get a glimpse into the soul of that person.

Dancing makes me feel better about myself and my body in a way that no other exercise or activity does. I once heard someone in church say that a God (I add in a Goddess) is a man (or woman) who is in perfect control of his (or her) body. That rings true to my soul and when I dance I feel my complete self; my whole being feels merged---my mind is connected to my body, my body is connected to my soul, and my soul is connected to my mind. It is a powerful feeling and one that only comes when my body and spirit have pushed themselves to their utmost physical and spiritual limits-- then in my exhaustion, my rhythm and my creativity I feel like my soul begins to shine and I get a glimpse of who I really am. I love it... it's an addicting feeling.

I guess that sounds a little strange... but if you've ever experienced that complete merging of your body and spirit (whether through running, sports, childbirth, intimacy, or experiencing nature) then you know what I'm talking about.

I hope I never stop dancing. I'd love to be one of those 75 year old women who is still moving, and by then I hope my body and mind will be very merged and that I'll have a powerful soul that I am in perfect control of.

Just for your enjoyment here is a video of my last modern dance final in college. It was a choreography class and I got to make up the movement. Jon and I had only been married for a few months and it was so much fun to work on this together. A few weeks ago we thought we'd try to see if we could still do the the "lifty whirly move" that we do here... we can't. After two babies my abs are definitely not as strong as they once were... I guess I'll have to work on that.
Also, remember this is modern dance... that means that you don't need to have music (you might want to turn your volume up so you can hear what we say) and it is all about creativity, movement, and relationships between people and not just looking pretty.

My favorite part is the "passion drive" part-- where I get to throw a tantrum. That sort of movement feels so good sometimes.

9 Months of Rosie

Rose turned nine months last week.

I really can't believe it.

It honestly feels like she was just born

but now she's been alive outside of me for longer than she was alive inside of me

and it is has gone by way too fast.

She is really interested in moving lately. She hasn't quite figured out how to crawl but she can scoot and wiggle to just about where ever she wants to go. I'm realizing that I don't vacuum nearly enough because she ends up gagging on the grossest things. She is also the pickiest eater. The only baby food she will eat is bananas, pears and applesauce. When you give her anything else she gags on it, throws it up, or spits it out. I'm pretty certain I'm going to have to nurse this girl for a long time just to make sure she gets some sort of nutrition! I hope that this picky eater thing is just a phase and that it isn't a sign of things to come. Oh, and her hair is turning REALLY red. I need to get a good picture of it because is some light it looks redder than at other times. It makes me really happy. What could be cuter than a little red headed girl named Rose... so perfect.

All in all, she is such a joy in our lives. I can't imagine life without her. I've been amazed at how my heart has stretched bigger than I ever dreamed it would to make room for her. I think that is one of the gifts of loving people is that they fill voids in your life you never even knew you had.

I was talking to one of my friends the other day and I was commenting on how Rose's little personality has really started to shine through lately. I said, " She is incredibly sweet and easy going but she very determined and opinionated. When she wants something done... she does it and when she has an opinion about something... she lets you know it."

My friend smiled at me and said, "So she's kind of like her mom then."

I couldn't help but laugh... I guess she is.

A Big Pile

Well Asher is pretty much potty trained. True, he still hasn't gotten the nack for going #2 in the potty yet, but he has only had about 3 accidents in the last two weeks, so I think that is pretty good.

As I traded out his stash of cloth diapers for his "big boy" underwear it got me wondering just how many diapers I'd actually taken on and off that little boy's bottom in the last two and half years.

Here is what I came up with...

He is two years and five months old= 883 days

On average he has used about 5 diapers a day since he was born
(He used ALOT more than that when he was an infant but tapered down to two or three at the end, so 5 a day is a pretty conservative average)

That means he has gone through at least 4,413 diapers.

The disposable diapers I buy cost about $11 a package and contain, on average, about 50 diapers.

This means if I'd used only disposable diapers for him I would have bought at least 89 packages of diapers and spent more than $971 in the last two and half years.

I took a minute to imagine what 4,413 diapers and $971 looks like.

That is one big pile of expensive poop.

And if I'd only been using disposables for Rose in a year and half that number would be double-- over 8,822 non-biodegradable diapers and about $2,000... literally thrown in the garbage.

Just another reason I'm finding I love cloth diapers.