Wow, I am messed up!

I have had one of the most emotional months I think I have ever had, or had in a long, long time. It all started out with training for a class I'm going to be mentoring this fall. It was a great training, I felt the Spirit so strong the whole time I was there. The way the opportunity came to me, really made me feel like my Heavenly Father loves me and knows what I need in order to grow and become more of the person I need to be. I left that last day of training, knowing that this was what God wanted me to do, no matter how incapable I felt. It was great to get back to life with my family after 3 days of classes, but I also missed the constant feeling of Spirit and learning that I had while I was in training. Contrast that experience with how I was feeling a couple weeks later: Overwhelmed, lost, forgotten, unloved and worthless. Satan really knows how to get to me. I wasn't strong enough to push him away. I fell for it. I felt like I was in darkness for almost a whole week; it was a horrible feeling. When all was said and done, going to the temple, remembering that there is a plan for me and that I can change how I feel by being grateful for what I do have and by making sure I'm doing what Heavenly Father needs me to do is what brought me out of my depression. I listened to an interview with Sherri Dew and I really liked what she said about being happy. She said something like, if you want to be happy, look at your life and if what you are doing is in line with what Heavenly Father wants you to do, that is what will truly make us happy. I have always thought that whenever I am in a depression, to come out of it all I have to do is serve some body and I will feel better. This time, I just didn't feel like I had "it" in me to serve anyone. I just had to keep surrounding myself with good media, (books, radio, video). It seemed to work. I just had a thought: Our whole purpose of being here on earth is to learn how to serve and love one another. No wonder that would bring us joy. I know my Savior loves me and really cares about me and what I am going through, no matter how big or small. He has me in mind, even though there are billions of other people, just on this earth who he is also looking out for; that is incomprehensible, but amazing and very comforting. To wrap it all up, I started out feeling very confident in my Heavenly Father's love for me, doubted, softened, and feel very much loved again. I'm so grateful for a loving father in Heaven and a loving husband, who understand me, no matter how crazy I get sometimes. They are so willing and patient to help me through everything, I am very blessed.