James Finn Garner

The notorious supervillain answers all your fear-related questions. Editor’s Note: Doctor Fear is an international supervillain and not a licensed therapist. His replies are meant for informational and entertainment purposes only and are not medical or financial advice. His title is not an honorific: he earned his MD at the University of Arizona. Dear Doctor…

I didn’t really want to write about the current controversy involving the pope and the veep. Religion is just tricky, especially treated with humor. I was raised Catholic but have been a Presbyterian for 40 years. I had my reasons for switching and they are still valid, but I can never escape the fact that…

Editor’s Note: Doctor Fear is an international supervillain and not a licensed therapist. His replies are meant for informational and entertainment purposes only and are not medical or financial advice. He earned his MD at the University of Arizona. Dear Dr. Fear: Look at this big freckle. Does that look cancerous to you? Signed Missing Melatonin…

The Shelbys never invested in crypto, for certain. During the COVID-19 shutdown, I discovered I couldn’t watch Larry David anymore. We’d watched “Curb Your Enthusiasm” every season since it began. Cringing with the misunderstandings, marveling at the performances of Susie Essman and JB SMOOVE, enjoying Larry’s pain. But in March 2020 (Happy anniversary!), we were…

Patti Smith is that. Plus a pioneer, poet, punk, widow, mom… Here in Chicago, I live 3 blocks from one of the most important music schools in the country. The Old Town School of Folk Music (no longer in Old Town) gives classes to almost 5,000 people a week. It’s situated in a former public…

I thought you might enjoy this story that I submitted to Ahoy Comics (“Expect more!”) late last year. A little something for the fanboys and fangirls out there who have daydreamed about the glamorous life of being the sidekick who gets kidnapped all the time. It’s been published in the latest edition of The Toxic Avenger Comics #7, which…

TO: The International Winter Olympic Committee FROM: Wisconsin Advisory Committee on New Winter Olympic Events (WACONWOE) RE: “Shaking up the snow globe” The WACONWOE has been meeting regularly throughout the past four years, with the intent of expanding the slate of competitive events involving winter athletes. Despite a lack of guidance from the IOC (or…

Hey, all you protesters and neighborhood guardians in Minneapolis, did you get your checks this week? I mean, of course you’re doing it for money, right? You wouldn’t be out in the cold, eating free donuts and samosas, if someone weren’t paying you. Where did all those free handwarmers come from, anyway? What’s the going…

In 1980, I went to see Iggy Pop in a small punk club in Detroit (even though I had to wear shooting cups to protect my hearing), because I thought, “Hell, he won’t be performing much longer. Forty-five years later, Iggy is still performing, though he kinda acts like he’s been smoking bath salts. I…

Here are some of the holiday movies pitched in 2025 to the Hallmark, Lifetime and Cellblock Romance Channels. Like everything else lately, details are sketchy about how far they’ve gone into production and how reversible it is. THE PHOTO-OPS OF CHRISTMAS Kristi, a hard-working security specialist in the nation’s capital, begins to feel lonely and…