Monday Aug. 21st they took Grandpa Reynolds over to the ER. He has had some issues over the past week or so that on Sunday family dinner the day before they convinced him he needed to go to get it checked out. He didn't want to go on Sunday since he wasn't wanting to spend the night.
Monday at the ER they started the process of tests to figure out what was going on. It was discovered that he had a mass on his pancreas that was obstructing his liver. They were scheduling him for surgery to remove the mass but were also dealing with other complications and unknowns from his heart or blood thinners. We were all hoping that surgery would prolong things as we also looked into a treatment course as a mass on the pancreas was most likely cancer. It was a long couple weeks as there were good days and bad days. I made the decision to take the kids to Utah over the Labor day weekend so we could see him. On the drive there it was just the thought we would see him and then it might be a couple months or so, but that surgery would help and he would recover some. Sadly when we left Sunday night I knew it would be the last time I hugged him and it was a mortal farewell. This is still hard to write even a few months later. It all seemed to happen so fast and my hopes and prayers for more time wasn't quite answered the way I wanted. In the weeks while he was in the hospital and I was still at home I had prayers of conflict and struggle with the situation. I was working on the house and was sad and thoughtful when the strong impression came into my mind that "he has lived a good life." That was the moment that I knew, God was aware of me and my feelings but also was calling dad home soon.
The kids and I left Thursday night after Jackson got done with FB practice. We stopped to sleep leaving about 4 hour drive on Friday. I had told the kids why we were going. The drive there was calm and the sunset just made me think about how much grandpa loved the sunrises and sunsets always stopping on his trips to capture the beauty of nature. I think Jackson was trying to help cheer up the mood when he was playing around with some goggles he found by his seat.
Jamee flew in on Thursday and Morgan had driven into town too. Suzie flew in on that Friday that I got there, so we were all around the hospital. It was a little hard to see grandpa in the hospital, jaundiced, and weak. He didn't talk much and he slept a lot. He did have alert times where he would say hi to the people in the room. When I came in for the first time he asked grandma where his hammer was. When she asked why he wanted his hammer, he said "I can't go to Staci's without my hammer." He was always coming to help and willing to do so.
I took the kids back to the house and let them hang around there while I spent time at the hospital. I did take the kids to the temple on Saturday. Jared's kids joined us. It was great to be in the temple and I had a strong impression it was exactly where grandpa would have wanted us to be. He wasn't responding to surgery just as we had hoped. His body was pretty much shutting down.
Saturday night after I got back from the temple, the girls were all in the hospital talking and so we took a picture. Carrel, Morgan, Jared, John and Valisa had all coordinated things that someone was at the hospital with grandpa each night and allowed grandma to go home and sleep. Carrel didn't leave pretty much for 3 days straight as Ryan and the girls were out of town.
Jared and Adrianna had taken my kids to their house and kept them until Sunday afternoon, so I was able to go to church with those at the hospital. We asked Grandpa if he wanted to go and he did. It took a lot out of him, but he was set on going. I think we knew this was the last time we would be able to take the sacrament with him. Most of us were crying and the spirit was pretty strong as it was also fast and testimony meeting. Jamee and I were asked to say the prayers.
Jared made dinner/late lunch for everyone and brought it to the hospital. I told the kids that they needed to say goodbye as the doctor had told us earlier that day that he didn't think there was anything left for us to do. The surgery wasn't helping grandpa as well as hoped and his levels were all indicating that his body was shutting down.
The drive was rough. The kids mostly watched movies as I had time with my thoughts and then at the hotel for the night I think my tears didn't stop falling until after I finally fell asleep. Many emotions were going through my mind and head. I was torn about leaving and sad to not be there, but also relived as I don't know that I wanted to see him suffer, so then I of course had that on my mind. Jackson had a game on Monday night so we were able to make it back to McCook in time to get him to the bus for that. Thankfully there wasn't school because of the holiday so attendance wasn't a matter.
They discharged grandpa from the hospital to go home on hospice Monday night. He passed Tuesday night after fighting until the last minute. He had showed signs earlier on Tuesday that the nurse had said it wouldn't be long. Jason an I were on the phone with the family when he passed. Some beautiful prayers were said by my brothers.
I flew back to Utah on Wednesday night and Jason drove out with the kids on Friday for the funeral on Saturday.
Thursday, Suzie, Morgan and I went running. Morgan made it one last Strava tribute to grandpa. He loved the Jordan River walkway and the beautiful nature around it. Then er met up with the rest of the family for breakfast at Black Bear Diner, another place grandpa enjoyed. I learned that most my siblings do wordle and they are competitive in not letting anyone see!!
Friday we all met at the funeral home to help dress the body in the temple robes. It was the first time seeing my dad since he passed. I wasn't sure how I would be emotionally but he looked peaceful. I always loved my dad's hands. They showed a man who worked hard for his family. It was a special time and all the siblings and grandma were there. They let us have our time with the body and allowing us to lay him in the coffin.
Friday night was the viewing. We had collected stuff from around the house to make a memory table. Amee had put together a little paper for people to take. The funeral home was doing all the stuff for Saturday but we wanted something for Friday. I think being able to sit around with my siblings and share stories from growing up and grandpa's life was pretty special. I learned some things that I had never known. Stories from his service in Vietnam and how he had learned on his own time how to operate some of the equipment and when they needed an operator he was available and from then on was put in that division and moved from possibly being on the front lines fighting. He also didn't know anything about soccer, but taught himself after Valisa wanted to play. He chose family over business. I cherish the moments we had together talking and being together with family. At the viewing, there were many of the old neighborhood people who came; Jennie Bauman, Mary Lance, the Attridges (Robert, LeAnn, Liz), Chad Sillotte. Friends from high school, like Dan Shimoda came. Cousns and family were there too. Some weren't able to come until Saturday but most of Rozlynns were there, Jeannies, Jacque, Jo, Melanie, Ileene and Rod and Luane, Jed and Brooke Heath, plus many others. It is a sad occasion to for a reunion with so many people but it was wonderful to see them and be reminded of the stories they also have about grandpa/dad.
Saturday was a short viewing and then the family prayer before the funeral.
One last farewell.
The service was great. All of the kids had a part somehow, whether it was saying the prayers (Jamee, Suzie, John), giving talks (Morgan and Alex), life sketches (Valisa and me), or memories (Carrel). It was pretty special to have everyone involved. Jared dedicated the grave.
The son's and son's in law were pal bearers.
The had military honors with the playing of taps and then the folding of the flag and presenting it to mom/grandma.
We were able to lay our flowers on the coffin as one last goodbye.
We noticed that baby Emma was right in front of where they would lay grandpa. It was a nice time to be able to connect the eternal family we are fortunate to know about and have.
All of Grandpa's posterity was there. Ayden might have had to be there via facetime, but she was there. Grandpa left a legacy and we will miss him, but that is only because we loved him so much.
As a tribute to grandpa, we gave his ties to all the boys. Most of them wore them to the viewing or the funeral. It was one thing we had thought of as a little thing they could remember grandpa by. It worked out pretty good and there were a few extra ties that if any of the girls wanted they could have one too.
We had a luncheon at the church for family after. It was like a party that we never wanted to end, so we didn't, we just moved it out to Jared's house!!
I was getting ready for bed Saturday night and had the thought that I should stay a few more days. The plan was for me to drive home on Sunday with Jason and the kids, but then I got thinking about it and everyone was planning to also leave Sunday and then those that live in the area had been putting their work and family on the side for the past few weeks as they took care of grandpa, so I said something to Jason and he agreed I should stay. He was able to stop and get his mom and she came down for a few days and helped manage the house until I returned home on Wednesday.
It was nice to be able to spend a time with mom/Grandma. I helped her with a few things, like calling companies to notify them dad had passed or changing names on things. We were also able to go to the temple. It had been since dad went to the hospital that mom had gone, which for her was a long time. We also stopped out at the grave to see the grass put back and the flowers laid down. We pulled a few of the pheasant feathers so people could keep them. I don't know that I helped much but I was company for a few days. I know the siblings in Utah will take good care of her, but I just wish I could have stayed longer or done more, but that would have been selfish on my part. I am glad I was able to stay. I got home late Wednesday night, my flight was all to myself from Denver to McCook. I'm just glad they didn't cancel it.
I lack the words and the ability to express all the emotions from the time. I miss my dad and wish at many times I could ask him a question or have him call me just to make sure I am doing okay. My mom is amazing, I know it has to be hard and lonely, but she is staying strong and has an eternal perspective.
I wish I could capture many of the prayers or spiritual moments felt during this time, but I don't really know how. So I just want it known that the spirit was felt so strongly. Moments of sadness were often replaced by wonderful memories and laughter and love.
We revisited many of the pictures on slides, I have lots of intentions of doing something with them, but for now here are a few. Grandpa and his horse, his tractor and Morgan, and then camping with family. The 3 kids are me, Brooke, and Jamee.
I am thankful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. For the plan of Salvation, for a Savior who has paid the price and overcame death so that we too can overcome death and have a way to be made clean and also have eternal life and eternal families. I know that this mortal farewell is just temporary, it might not stop it from being sad or from feeling the loss of a loved one, but it gives hope and light in those times. I do want to say how thankful I am for a dad who was a great example, a loving father, and half of the biggest and best support system a child could have. I was hoping for more time, I was wanting all my kids to be fortunate to have their grandpa give them their patriarchal blessings, Rinlee was too...but I was reminded the blessing is from the Lord and it doesn't matter who gives it, and I believe grandpa will be present when it is given. The Lords army is preparing for a big battle and many great and wonderful people are being called home to assist on that side of the veil. May we prepare ourselves and be ready to assist on this side of the veil.
