it's 3am

Dude. I took Excedrin for this headache that just isn't going away, but remember how caffeine keeps you awake? Bleh! So my choices are to sleep with a wicked headache or stay up all night and blog. (Actually, the nurse said there's a prescription available for pregnant ladies so I'll be calling for that in the morning.) But for tonight, I guess it's stay up and blog

This is breakfast with Santa. Some of the kids knew who Santa was this year and let the cat out of the bag. Ryann was SO excited to know Mr. and Mrs. Claus that it wasn't even sad. In fact, I whispered to Lucy to tell her it was Grandma so that instead of crying, and clinging to Amylin, she'd actually sit on Mrs. Santa's lap.

Lucy has been asserting her independence again. Today she had a disgusting potty training incident at Grandma's house while I was at a doctor appointment. Although I was glad not to have been there, I felt SO bad for Grandma having such an enormous mess to deal with in her bathroom. Lucy, you need to TELL us when you need to go on the potty! This isn't the first time she's just gone on her own, but it is the first time the mess was that bad.

Also, at family dinner, she got into Amber's bathroom and put on her lipstick. She had stripped down to her "I'm nakeds!" and applied the bright pink color THICKLY over her mouth and chin and down one arm. Amber was amazing with her and just sweetly wiped it off with a washcloth. Lucy wasn't sorry.

In this photo, Lucy is making her own waffles. (don't worry, it's not plugged in.) She just found the bread and then smushed it in the waffle iron. I was not supposed to touch it. She's the mom, I'm the baby, and she will let me know when it's ready for me.

Accidentally, I put the waffle iron away with a piece still in there. The good news is, the kids asked for waffles this morning so the bread I burned while the thing was heating up wasn't moldy nasty, just crumby nasty. I blame that one on pregnancy brain and too many kids in the house.

This is a picture of "my tummy is a movie star." (Lucy, I hope that is never actually true.)

And this is a picture of "I'm a movie star."

Also today at Grandma's, we got to see baby John and Tommy. Lucy wanted to hold baby John and feed him and touch his head and his eyeballs. It was mostly sweet helping her hold a one month old. She mostly did try to be "so soft." Ryann wanted her turn too and Lucy's not very good at sharing, so that was hard. Poor Ry is probably getting the worst of it with this phase Lucy's in. I keep expecting her to act nicer than her sister, but she has to put up with a lot.

Even though Lucy has been testing her boundaries lately and making me question our decision to have another baby, holding John made me a little excited. Little babies are so snugly with such TINY little fingers that can't even help but wrap around your thumbs! They make such cute sounds and they don't even scoot the bar stools across the room to climb up to the cupboard to find the candy.

Also, even though it's no fun to wake up all night long with a baby, at least you're spending your time holding a cuddle bug instead of by yourself writing on your blog. (I might need some reminding of that when this baby comes and I'm a crazy zombie regularly awake at 3.)

Talking to Ryann

Ryann: Do you want to know what I'm going to get you for your birthday?

Me: Sure.

Ryann: Money. So you can buy us things!

Me: What kinds of things?

Ryann: Like food and party favors.

Ryann: Lucy, do you know what it means if you crack your head and legs open? It means you're dead.

Lucy: That sounds not fun.

Ryann: Right. But did you know that Jesus died and he came alive again? Isn't that awesome? Of course it is. Say of course it is."

Lucy: Of course it is.

Parties

We celebrated Bob and Diane's 60th birthdays a little while ago. They had a 60's party and Randy's band came and played their Beatles songs for part of it. We made a high school dance style backdrop and took photos.

Ryann had a Superhero Birthday party with the family. Randy helped her design Sparkle Power Girl for the invitation.

Everyone looked great in their costumes. Randy told the kids that they'd all been invited there by his boss, the Red Panther, to see if they were super enough to join the new Freedom-Fighter-Global-Guardian-All-Star-Justice-League. First they had to cross a chasm filled with lava! Some walked across on a 2X4 and others used their super power of flight with help from an adult. They also had to run faster than Randy, defeat the self-replicating blobs of death (pop balloons), display their acrobatic skills (on a hanging bar), crab walk, play sharks and minnows, and defeat the robotic pink octopus of death (pinata).

See that creepy robotic pink octopus of death? Some of the kids used their very fists and feet to deal damage!

After they were awarded their medals of bravery (soda crackers tied on strings) Randy revealed that he and the Red Panther were actually bad guys who had just captured their life energy and put it into the crackers. Then they got out the foam swords and had a battle. (This is the best game ever! Everyone wears a soda cracker and once your cracker breaks, you're out.) I think in the end, the good guys defeated the Red Panther (Ronnie, whose costume was AWESOME). Then we just had cake and presents and the kids ran wild around the gym.

You had to be there to fully appreciate Randy's performance as the bad guy/facilitator. Ryann's lucky to have such a fun Daddy. Thanks to everyone who came and dressed up and played with us. It wouldn't have been a party without you!

crying

I was crying in bed yesterday when Ryann asked me what was wrong. I told her, "It's not your fault. It's not Lucy's fault. It's not Daddy's fault. Just, sometimes when I'm pregnant, it makes me cry more."

Ryann: "So....is it your fault?"

More stuff

Yesterday I sat on the couch pretty much all day long. I read a book and let the kids watch too many episodes of Backyardigans. I was sick and this time the girls were both old enough to pretty much let me have my sick day. I did feed them and bathe them and get them dressed, but I did the minimum for everything else. If I hadn't felt so yucky, I would have really enjoyed my day off!

The reason I feel yucky might be a little from a virus and a little from pregnancy. Signs point to June 30th for the due date. I wasn't supposed to tell until Thanksgiving at least, but I can't help myself! I'm excited for the baby, plus, I want sympathy for feeling so sick during this first part.

About Lucy: One of her favorite jokes is, "Mom! look behind you." I look and she laughs because SHE's what's behind me. The funny part is that she has climbed up and squished behind me on the office chair and I definitely noticed before she pointed it out.

Lucy: "knock knock"

Me: "who's there?"

Lucy: "Me!!!" huge grin

The sweetest thing you've ever heard is Lucy saying "I love you. You're my best buddy." And the sweetest thing you'll ever see is Lucy holding on to her horsie (Daddy) tightly around the neck and leading him around the room.

One time, last week, Lucy brought 3 books into our room at 3am, expecting that I would read to her. I opened the book, but not my eyes. She complained a little but I took a wild guess about what book I was holding and very slowly started to say some words. It was so hard to listen to that Lucy gave up and fell asleep.

About Ryann: Her taste is definitely influenced by her daddy. When we listen to music on the way to take Ty to school, she chooses songs and says, "This is my dad's favorite." Today, they pretended to be in the band with Randy. Ryann: "I'm the girl in the band." Ty: "I'm the boy in the band." Maybe sometime they'll talk about instruments, but I am pleased that they've identified their genders. Also, Ryann sings along with The Beatles, Cake, and The Killers. She knows all about super heroes and what their powers are. In fact, we're getting excited for her Super Hero birthday party.

The Primary program was on Sunday. It ended up being a really great experience for Ry even though it caused a LOT of anxiety. She really, really, really didn't want to do it. She cried many times leading up to it. Getting her ready for church on Sunday was the hardest it has ever been (and that's saying something!) Thankfully, I felt like I had some help from the Lord to stay calm and speak lovingly to her. (She threw all her dresses on the floor, screamed/cried through her bath, splashed the water out, wouldn't eat her breakfast etc.) I had an inspired thought and got out the beautiful black and white dress Alysa made. (It was put away so that Ryann wouldn't use it for dress ups.) It still fit Ryann and I could tell she felt extra beautiful. It made all the difference! (Thanks Alysa!) After she had the special dress on, she let me do her hair and she got in the car willingly. Dropping her off was hard, but she had a couple special toys in her scripture bag and I gave her a couple of candies to help too. They practiced in the chapel and Ryann missed it when her class walked back to the primary room. Randy found her in the chapel, by herself, crying, and scared. He comforted her and took her back to class where they had snacks. When I picked her up, I took her aside to say a special prayer that the Holy Ghost would comfort her and help her be able to feel calm during the program.

So you can see that it was an answered prayer that Ryann was able to sit up there on the stand and sing most of the songs and speak her part into the microphone. When it was over, she smiled so brightly and I asked if she could feel that good feeling. She said she could. She gave me a tight hug and we talked on the way home about how grateful we were that the Holy Ghost could help her. I felt really proud of her and I could tell she was proud of herself too. It was a very touching meeting for me to watch. I know the primary program isn't too hard for most kids, but it was very hard for Ryann. I hope this was one of many times in Ryann's life where she learns that she can do hard things.

One of the things about being pregnant is emotions. Sometimes it's kind of neat to feel more emotional about things. Sometimes it's really frustrating and I act like an idiot. Or a jerk. Sometimes it's even kind of funny to feel like crying and have nothing to cry about and so you just cry and laugh at yourself for crying. Simultaneously.

I'm the worst vegetarian ever. I know because I ate pepperoni pizza and then I picked the pepperoni off of Lucy's and ate that too. And I'm only a little bit sorry. I do think I'm eating less meat than I used to, but I definitely should not call myself a vegetarian right now. Not even a sort-of vegetarian. *Sigh. No self control. I'll keep trying though.

Stuff

I'm going to write down some of the simple stories I've been telling to the kids at night and Randy's going to illustrate them. We're baby-steppin' and maybe one day we'll have something we'll try to publish. I'm excited just to start with stories for our girls.

We've been sickies again and I'm not good at being the mom. I can never decide when they need to stay home and when they're okay to go. Always we'd prefer to go, but I do try not to spread germs. It's tough.

I'm a "sort-of vegetarian." I watched Forks Over Knives a few months back and I've been trying to be more like a vegan. It's overwhelming though, so for now I'm just a sort-of vegetarian. (Consequently, the people around here have become pickier about eating the food I cook.) Also, I LOVE avocados. I never disliked them before, but I didn't know that I loved them either. Today I ate one with fresh lime juice and salt and pepper and it was just delicious! You should also know that I don't like Tofu. yuck.

I'm trying to take small steps to get more organized. I like to think our house is kinda normal but then some of you people astound me with the way you keep things spotless and organized. I do kinda enjoy the cleaning part, but the organizing part gets me.

Randy and I went to two real restaurants this season! Both served Thai food and I can't get enough of that soup in this cold weather. Today I bought ginger root, lemongrass, and coconut milk and I'm planning a trip to an Asian food store to get the rest so that I can make it at home. I'm also gonna try making the sweet coconut rice dessert. YUM! Also, I bought limes, cilantro, and green onions to make more Pho. Spicy soup might be the best thing about cold weather.

I'm one of three in our ward who have been called to play the organ for sacrament meeting. I only end up playing once per month but it makes me very nervous. Sometimes, in my brain, I think of excuses and wish I didn't have to do it. One day, I was headed to the church to practice on a rare moment when Randy could be home with the girls. I was feeling frustrated and embarrassed about my lack of skill and I might have grumbled a little on my way out the door. Then I got started playing hymns and it changed my bad attitude. By the time I was through, I was feeling really grateful for the privilege to play. I don't know if I'll ever get the hang of the foot pedals, but I'm gonna keep trying. I keep praying that I'll be able to play well enough that it won't distract people from the spirit of the hymns.

I have a lot to feel grateful for this month. The kids and I started out the month by writing a thank you note each day. We lasted 3 days. :D (That's not because I couldn't think of more people I'm thankful for. There are a lot of good people around here who just go around trying to be nice.) I think we'll try and pick that up again now that we're not sick anymore (fingers crossed).

Halloween picures

Grandma made this princess dress for Ry. Ryann told her she wanted it all the way to the floor and very pink. Thanks Grandma, it was perfect!

We met up with cousins for treats at the park

Lucy didn't want to commit to any one costume so throughout the month, she tried being a ghost, witch, monster, tinkerbell, princess, tiger, and almost all of the costumes had the power of "bobety boo".

She and Olivia switched costumes for a minute at the family party. I love the cupcake costume!

Here are the girls approaching Rob and Amy's house for the coolest Halloween party ever.

(Lucy's holding a sugar cookie she decorated)

Doughnut eating contest

Lucy preferred using her hands.

Randy was John Lennon. His band, The Faculty, played Beatles songs at school on Halloween, they looked so cool! See?

Okay, Rob and Amy are hard. core. Those are homemade costumes that are unbelievably cool.

I loved Samm and Amy's mystery science theater costumes this year. Samm's homemade Servo even has moving parts so he can talk and turn his head!

Ranking Scary things

Not Scary:

Ryann invented this contraption. It can be both for magnifying sound and sight. I think she told me it was a spy station. (Also, she dressed herself and that's the reason for the red with bright pink stretch pants. It's not my fault.)

A Little Scary:

Have I already mentioned this swing set my dad built? It's this big and he and my brothers made it.

My kids LOVE LOVE LOVE it and swing so high. The best is when papa pushes them though because then they go all the way to the tree. They love the thrill of going so high.

(This expression is because she's not really swinging very high. She needs a papa push!)

Sometimes they try to hold hands while they swing. Awwww

A Little Scarier

Yesterday we made these haunted houses when Ty-Guy and Logan came over. I just made my own paper pattern and then used a knife to cut out the cookie dough pieces. I actually might prefer this to the Christmas gingerbread houses because they're supposed to look creepy and that's easier than cutesy.

Although usually projects like these make the house look pretty darn scary, the kids played so well together that I was actually able to clean up and even mop before daddy got home!

Scary
Flash back: This was when Ryann was almost 1. Have I already mentioned that they're growing up too fast?

Scariest

So we watched Tangled again yesterday and it got me thinking. Am I a creepy controlling mother?

One time when I was a missionary in TX, we were on a street with mostly black residents and we were both white girls. The last guy we talked to on that street really let us hear it about white people always trying to control others, giving us a condensed history lesson. He didn't want to hear anything from us and we tried to politely leave the conversation. It got me wondering for a few days though. I thought through my reasons and finally concluded that he was wrong about my motivation to serve a mission.

So back to Tangled. What a creepy, subtle villain! Ryann even asked me to stay with her to watch it. I know she's not the scariest-looking of the Disney "bad-ladies," but what could be scarier than learning that your own mom was the villain? shudder. (My mom is definitely not a creepy, controlling, bad-lady.)

My self analysis as a controlling mother

Good-lady points for mommy Kate: When there were free flu shots from the district, I told Ryann she did have to go with us in the car, but she could make the choice about getting one or not. And I really would have let her skip out if that's what she chose. I told her about what the flu is and told her I had tootsie rolls for girls who were brave and got their shots. (Oh shush, that's not manipulative! That's candy.) She got the shot and felt proud of herself for not screaming.

Controlling points for mommy Kate: I brush Ryann's hair. She hates it but I do it anyway. I make Ryann go to primary even when she doesn't want to. Sometimes I think about homeschooling because I'm scared of the world.

Conclusion: I'm not exactly stealing a baby and locking her in a tall tower for 18 years and pretending like I'm her loving mother. Although on occasion, I do like to break out in song, "Mother knows best." It's so catchy, who can help it?

Whew. Aren't you glad we went through that exercise?

Melted Heart Syndrome

These girls have taken my heart and melted it all the way. Like a melted popsicle in July. Not like a melted popsicle in October, because, has anyone noticed how cold it's gotten? Ew. Cold weather. I really need to move somewhere else. But if I did, then would I still get to see such beautiful canyon scenery?

What I meant about the heart puddle is this: sometimes, early in the morning, Lucy comes and gets in bed with me to snuggle. And she hugs me really tightly and says, "I love you mommy."

She squeezes thiiiiiiis tight:

And sometimes Lucy says "I mommy you baby." and then she holds my face and says things like "ohhhhhhh. It's okay baby."

And last night I watched some of the videos of Ryann when she was Lucy's age. And I forgot that she used to be Lucy and I can only think of her as the grown up girl she is. And sometimes during conference, they talk about being a mother and I get all gushy because moms are tender about that. And I just have to say that being a mom is the best.

Odds and ends

This is what happened to cougar fans this year during the rivalry. Also, this is what happened to Lucy while she was playing with wet sand and Ryann Elise.

I did my first ever french braids in Ryann's hair this month. These are the curls after we took it out.

Lucy told me she "never wants a nap no never never never never." It only took 3 seconds after shutting her door before she turned into Sleeping Beauty.

Apparently the girls did this while I was making lunch. I might have gotten a clue from the chanting of, "Ramen Noodles! Ramen Noodles!" Still, it took me by surprise when I walked into the front room and found the piano decorated. They might have gotten time-outs but look, it's a pattern!

Today, Lucy did a face-plant off of the swing and into the dirt. (She has recovered completely.)

If you'd been at my house for Sunday dinner last night, Lucy would already have introduced you to scarecrow aka "skikow". She made a point to take everyone by the hand out to the front porch to share her excitement for fall. Watch out for the "pokey pumpkins!"

"Maggie" (Ryann) did my hair and makeup for me, "oh girl, you're gonna look beautiful!" She even snapped a photo so we can all remember my stunning look.