We made it through the first month. This week was the first of having to slow down. I had a crazy schedule last week. I went back to the fire station on Wednesday night for EMS training as the instructor. Thursday night I had another CPR class for a local home medical care office. Friday I was so exhausted I had to come home and rest. I spent about half of Friday sleeping and felt much better. Saturday I was in Rexburg as an evaluator for Fire Fighter 2 candidates. I really have to avoid getting that many things clumped together.
We still have no hair loss and I haven't been sick to date. I started last week to have blood oozing in my nose. It's not a bloody nose as you think. It feels like I am congested. When I blow my nose it is full of blood clots. Today my clotting time was 3.3. The goal was to be in the 2.5 to 3.5 range. A little elevated but not out of range. I will check tommorrow to see if Dr. Dickson thinks that is related to the chemo or blood counts. I think the blood getting into my stomach as a result of the nose thing is causing a little indigestion. I started taking a decongestant and it seems to be helping a bit.
Today Kay and Mike Gardner gave me a blanket with fire engines on it. It looks like a baby blanket but is really cute. While at chemo they always give you a blanket to keep you warm in the big cool room. Now I have my own really cute one.
The Sunday lessons were on hope. Our instructor had John Elison talk about his transition from no hope to great hope, then a miraculous disappearence of his tumor in his throat. He asked me to talk about where we are and where my hope is coming from. It turned out to be a geat day. We spent the evening with Josh and Tiffany for her birthday. Grandkids are so much fun!!
Lsst week as President Anderson was changing the Bishopric he spoke of his love for Thomas Second Ward. It was the ward he grew up in and he had fond emotions whenever he gets to come back. That made me think of the Lost River Ward and the the joy I feel when we get to go back there. There's not much of a connection there anymore but I still have good feelings when I think about being there.
The challenges continue. Saturday evening Jason noticed a large bubble in the paint on the family room ceiling downstair. After investigating I realized that when we changed the pump and turned up the pressure in the house it caused a small leak in the water line going to the faucet in our bathroom. When I tried to tighten the fitting it rally started leaking. By the time I got it shut off we had some wet sheetrock and a little water on the floor. Josh said we need to take down a couple square feet of ceiling to get the area dry to insure no mold grows.
As always thanks to all for the prayers, the calls and the concern. It is impossible to describe the humility that creates... thank-you
Monday, January 26, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
3 weeks done
Another pretty good day. The steroids last night woke me up at 4am. By the time I get used to the thought of taking a sleeping pill with the steroids it will be over. So I felt particularly tired today. I slept for about half the time I was there and am still tired tonight. No hair loss yet. It does feel a little brittle but not coming out yet. I went to work this morning for a couple of hours.
Marcene had a fascinating dream she told me we could post as soon as she writes it. We hope it comes into reality for several reasons. Another sign I am taking as good: when I lifted my right arm clear up there was a nerve that hurt all the way from my armpit to my wrist, I noticed this week that is almost gone.
Our poor ward found out this week that the sister in our ward who just barely finished her chemo last fall has a recurrence. There is so much around us, but it brings us together in a spirit of love and compassion. I think that's called charity. Thanks again for your prayers and support. I'll post again on Sunday after we see how the ends up.
Marcene had a fascinating dream she told me we could post as soon as she writes it. We hope it comes into reality for several reasons. Another sign I am taking as good: when I lifted my right arm clear up there was a nerve that hurt all the way from my armpit to my wrist, I noticed this week that is almost gone.
Our poor ward found out this week that the sister in our ward who just barely finished her chemo last fall has a recurrence. There is so much around us, but it brings us together in a spirit of love and compassion. I think that's called charity. Thanks again for your prayers and support. I'll post again on Sunday after we see how the ends up.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Second Treatment Report
January 13, 2009
Second treatment
We moved my chemo day to Tuesday’s. It works better with Denise’s schedule and she really wants to be there with me. The school has been incredibly supportive of this situation. One of the teachers even brought her a list of teachers who had committed specific time if needed for Denise. The principal and vice principal have made every effort and accommodation to let her be with me whenever needed. That is the continuing theme that we keep seeing here. People are so willing to help. It is really humbling to be the object of that desire to serve. I am pretty sure, on Denise’s side that they feel bad for me but they would go to the end of the earth to help her. Our ward continues to be tremendously helpful, always concerned. Again, it is so humbling to be the object of their hope, faith and prayers. Even the fire department and the City have been more that supportive. The mayor told me that their only concern here was for my recovery and well being. They will do whatever has to be done to keep me employed and supported; it felt sincere even if he felt he had to say it. That was appreciated. I have returned to work on light duty. I have responded on a couple of ambulance calls out here and will respond while on duty, if needed. I’ll not likely respond first on many fires in the near future but I could be in a command level if we had enough manpower. That is pretty rare early on in a serious fire. I don’t think there is a question about having the needed energy initially but my energy wanes quickly. I just don’t have much energy right now. I will be doing some training, teaching and inspections. There is a never ending need for coordination and logistics within the department and it will be nice to be actively involved in it on a daily basis.
Denise quit her Medicaid nursing job. It was just too much to keep up with. We will continue doing CPR classes for ISU. I am ISU’s American Heart Association faculty member to supervise the CPR program and evaluate other CPR instructors. Denise and I usually teach together one evening and one Saturday each month. It’s a stress but something we enjoy doing together.
The only significant event of the week was getting over the portacath insertion. I was a little queasy Wednesday and Thursday, mostly in the evening. But it was more of an “I just don’t feel good” than nausea. (Denise says, “Welcome to morning sickness!”) Otherwise I worked half a day Thursday and until three thirty on Friday. The portacath is doing much better; the pain and discomfort are pretty well gone. The nurses were able to access it today without too much trouble and then it worked without a problem. The lady in our ward who had breast cancer had some lidocaine / xylocaine cream that the doctor had prescribed for her to deaden the skin over the port. She gave it to us with directions to put a spot of it on plastic wrap and apply it about the time we reached Rigby. That way the site would be deadened by the time the nurses had to place the needle through the skin into the port. Being the man that I am, I had forgotten the plastic wrap. Being the innovator that I am, I took a wrapper from a granola bar and used it in place of the plastic wrap. The nurses got a kick out of that! They had to show everyone my “wrap and seal”.
The treatments took 4 hours today. That should be the regular time for the three week treatment period. I will then have a week with only a blood test called a Nadir. The Nadir shows the “low point” of the red blood count. They want to be certain that these don’t get too low. If they do they will discontinue the chemo until there is a sufficient recovery to tolerate more. That four week period is a round. I will do three or four of those before another chest CT is done to see if were doing any good.
With permission from Dr. Dickson I am taking a couple of nutritional supplements developed by a Dr Rath in the Netherlands (http://www.drrathhealthalliance.com). One of our medics pointed us to him and the science appears to be sound. His younger sister had metastatic breast cancer five years ago. It had gotten so far that the doctors told her she should go home and get her affairs in order. It is hard to know whether her success was the supplements only, or just part of her regimen, but they helped. Dr. Dickson didn’t feel that they would hurt, so I am taking them. The oncology staff has been impressed with how well my bloodwork has been doing. We recognize that that is a blessing and perhaps the help from good supplements. The other thing we are working on is trying to keep my ph close to 7.0. We have read a significant amount of literature indicating that pathogens including cancer cannot survive or grow in an alkaline environment. Ph is controlled a lot by diet, but can be supported with supplements too. I am doing everything in my power to beat this. Traditional medicine has a lot to offer, but we feel that we also need to be proactive through better nutrition and natural healing science. I expect the Lord will take care of the rest, as promised.
Thanks again for all your faith and prayers. I do love our Heavenly Father. This is a tremendous lesson that we can all learn from. There is tremendous faith that has been shown; we really are grateful and forever humbled. I hope it will give us all a clearer window into the support and love He offers to us so we can all pass this test. Ultimately we want to pass life’s test with a “well done thou good and faithful servant”. I love one of the late scenes in Gladiator where the Djimon Housoun asks Russel Crow about his family. They both reminisce about the time when they will be able to see them again and the eternal nature of the family. Crow talks of his reunion with his family on the other side. He asks Housoun if he will see his family again. He says “Yes, someday I will see them, but not yet…” It is obvious to me that he has great faith in life after death but feels that he has a lot to do before that time. I have a lot of life left to live. I plan to serve it here for as long as the Lord will allow.
Second treatment
We moved my chemo day to Tuesday’s. It works better with Denise’s schedule and she really wants to be there with me. The school has been incredibly supportive of this situation. One of the teachers even brought her a list of teachers who had committed specific time if needed for Denise. The principal and vice principal have made every effort and accommodation to let her be with me whenever needed. That is the continuing theme that we keep seeing here. People are so willing to help. It is really humbling to be the object of that desire to serve. I am pretty sure, on Denise’s side that they feel bad for me but they would go to the end of the earth to help her. Our ward continues to be tremendously helpful, always concerned. Again, it is so humbling to be the object of their hope, faith and prayers. Even the fire department and the City have been more that supportive. The mayor told me that their only concern here was for my recovery and well being. They will do whatever has to be done to keep me employed and supported; it felt sincere even if he felt he had to say it. That was appreciated. I have returned to work on light duty. I have responded on a couple of ambulance calls out here and will respond while on duty, if needed. I’ll not likely respond first on many fires in the near future but I could be in a command level if we had enough manpower. That is pretty rare early on in a serious fire. I don’t think there is a question about having the needed energy initially but my energy wanes quickly. I just don’t have much energy right now. I will be doing some training, teaching and inspections. There is a never ending need for coordination and logistics within the department and it will be nice to be actively involved in it on a daily basis.
Denise quit her Medicaid nursing job. It was just too much to keep up with. We will continue doing CPR classes for ISU. I am ISU’s American Heart Association faculty member to supervise the CPR program and evaluate other CPR instructors. Denise and I usually teach together one evening and one Saturday each month. It’s a stress but something we enjoy doing together.
The only significant event of the week was getting over the portacath insertion. I was a little queasy Wednesday and Thursday, mostly in the evening. But it was more of an “I just don’t feel good” than nausea. (Denise says, “Welcome to morning sickness!”) Otherwise I worked half a day Thursday and until three thirty on Friday. The portacath is doing much better; the pain and discomfort are pretty well gone. The nurses were able to access it today without too much trouble and then it worked without a problem. The lady in our ward who had breast cancer had some lidocaine / xylocaine cream that the doctor had prescribed for her to deaden the skin over the port. She gave it to us with directions to put a spot of it on plastic wrap and apply it about the time we reached Rigby. That way the site would be deadened by the time the nurses had to place the needle through the skin into the port. Being the man that I am, I had forgotten the plastic wrap. Being the innovator that I am, I took a wrapper from a granola bar and used it in place of the plastic wrap. The nurses got a kick out of that! They had to show everyone my “wrap and seal”.
The treatments took 4 hours today. That should be the regular time for the three week treatment period. I will then have a week with only a blood test called a Nadir. The Nadir shows the “low point” of the red blood count. They want to be certain that these don’t get too low. If they do they will discontinue the chemo until there is a sufficient recovery to tolerate more. That four week period is a round. I will do three or four of those before another chest CT is done to see if were doing any good.
With permission from Dr. Dickson I am taking a couple of nutritional supplements developed by a Dr Rath in the Netherlands (http://www.drrathhealthalliance.com). One of our medics pointed us to him and the science appears to be sound. His younger sister had metastatic breast cancer five years ago. It had gotten so far that the doctors told her she should go home and get her affairs in order. It is hard to know whether her success was the supplements only, or just part of her regimen, but they helped. Dr. Dickson didn’t feel that they would hurt, so I am taking them. The oncology staff has been impressed with how well my bloodwork has been doing. We recognize that that is a blessing and perhaps the help from good supplements. The other thing we are working on is trying to keep my ph close to 7.0. We have read a significant amount of literature indicating that pathogens including cancer cannot survive or grow in an alkaline environment. Ph is controlled a lot by diet, but can be supported with supplements too. I am doing everything in my power to beat this. Traditional medicine has a lot to offer, but we feel that we also need to be proactive through better nutrition and natural healing science. I expect the Lord will take care of the rest, as promised.
Thanks again for all your faith and prayers. I do love our Heavenly Father. This is a tremendous lesson that we can all learn from. There is tremendous faith that has been shown; we really are grateful and forever humbled. I hope it will give us all a clearer window into the support and love He offers to us so we can all pass this test. Ultimately we want to pass life’s test with a “well done thou good and faithful servant”. I love one of the late scenes in Gladiator where the Djimon Housoun asks Russel Crow about his family. They both reminisce about the time when they will be able to see them again and the eternal nature of the family. Crow talks of his reunion with his family on the other side. He asks Housoun if he will see his family again. He says “Yes, someday I will see them, but not yet…” It is obvious to me that he has great faith in life after death but feels that he has a lot to do before that time. I have a lot of life left to live. I plan to serve it here for as long as the Lord will allow.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
PortaCath
Went to surgery this morning at Bingham for placement of the PortaCath. All went well. All they gave me was enough Versed to knock me out. The procedure went quickly, I awoke easily and felt fine except for this pain in my right shoulder.
Kassandra brought me home, got a good nap this afternoon. If it weren't for this new shoulder pain I would be great. Hope tomorrow goes as well!!
Kassandra brought me home, got a good nap this afternoon. If it weren't for this new shoulder pain I would be great. Hope tomorrow goes as well!!
Sundays are a challenge
I forgot to post the events of Sunday. Such a special time but emotionally challenging. I was mentioned a couple of times during testimony meeting. It has been ever present in my heart that there are many people in this same boat, a few in our ward. The Spirit has pointed out to me there are many others who suffer long term chronic difficulties from disease. It is clear to me that I would not want to trade places with them. Two months of chronic foot pain has given me enough of a view of that to take this gladly. This disease process , we think, has a beginning and ending.
I felt the need to share that in my testimony with my love for the Savior and the Gospel plan. I am conscious of and deeply grateful for the thoughts and prayers offered in my behalf to the point of embarrassment. But if this provides a pathway for family and friends to draw closer to each other and to the Lord it is well worth the cost.
Thank-you all for your thoughts, prayers and comments of support. I hope you remember the love of the Savior, his sacrifice and service for us to open the path and show us the way. The Holy Ghost has the incredible capacity to speak to each of us on our level with our multitude of idiosyncrasies and personality differences. I hope I can learn from this challenge to appreciate some aspects of the love and concern he has for us.
I felt the need to share that in my testimony with my love for the Savior and the Gospel plan. I am conscious of and deeply grateful for the thoughts and prayers offered in my behalf to the point of embarrassment. But if this provides a pathway for family and friends to draw closer to each other and to the Lord it is well worth the cost.
Thank-you all for your thoughts, prayers and comments of support. I hope you remember the love of the Savior, his sacrifice and service for us to open the path and show us the way. The Holy Ghost has the incredible capacity to speak to each of us on our level with our multitude of idiosyncrasies and personality differences. I hope I can learn from this challenge to appreciate some aspects of the love and concern he has for us.
Monday, January 5, 2009
First Treatment Day
As we were driving out of the driveway this morning Denise and I both thought "here we go on another saga". Apprehensive, as you can imagine to begin a knew part of life that three weeks ago we would have never guessed we would be participating in. We arrived without difficulty. It had started to snow in Rexburg and continued all day. The Temperature was so low that it was all just powder. The freeway was clear going and coming.
After arriving, It took a little while to get us into the back despite being the second patient through the door. The nurse starting my IV had trouble getting through the leather like skin of my left forearm. The third stick, in the right hand went right. Maybe it was that I told her I would start one for her myself. Mom offered too; no pressure at all, and it gets worse with each miss.
They were adamant that the steroid I was to take before the chemo be taken exactly six and twelve hours before our arrival. Then I was to be given another dose immediately after arriving. It always amazes me that there is large window of opportunity for them and a very small one for the patient. Anyway we got started about 9:30. The infusions went a little slow today to check for allergic reactions to the meds. They started with the Dexamethasone, then a 36 hour antiemetic, the 25mg of Benadryl followed by the first chemo drug Avastin, then Taxol and Carboplantin. They said if one has a reaction to the Carboplantin it is usually after taking it for an extended period.
About 1:00 Denise got a call from Becky. She was in Rexburg and wondered if we needed something to eat. We were really surprised. She was bringing Rachel back to school at BYU-I. We had a great visit with them. It certainly helped to pass the time. About 3:00 we were out the door. A pleasant beginning to a less than desirable situation. The nurse (Brenda) told us to expect a really tired day tomorrow and any nausea on Wednesday.
Tomorrow is the next step. I report to the hospital at 6:30a.m for Dr. Johanson to place a "PortaCath". This is a semi permanent IV site just under the skin next to the sternum that can be accessed easily over and over without the damage to the peripheral veins.
After arriving, It took a little while to get us into the back despite being the second patient through the door. The nurse starting my IV had trouble getting through the leather like skin of my left forearm. The third stick, in the right hand went right. Maybe it was that I told her I would start one for her myself. Mom offered too; no pressure at all, and it gets worse with each miss.
They were adamant that the steroid I was to take before the chemo be taken exactly six and twelve hours before our arrival. Then I was to be given another dose immediately after arriving. It always amazes me that there is large window of opportunity for them and a very small one for the patient. Anyway we got started about 9:30. The infusions went a little slow today to check for allergic reactions to the meds. They started with the Dexamethasone, then a 36 hour antiemetic, the 25mg of Benadryl followed by the first chemo drug Avastin, then Taxol and Carboplantin. They said if one has a reaction to the Carboplantin it is usually after taking it for an extended period.
About 1:00 Denise got a call from Becky. She was in Rexburg and wondered if we needed something to eat. We were really surprised. She was bringing Rachel back to school at BYU-I. We had a great visit with them. It certainly helped to pass the time. About 3:00 we were out the door. A pleasant beginning to a less than desirable situation. The nurse (Brenda) told us to expect a really tired day tomorrow and any nausea on Wednesday.
Tomorrow is the next step. I report to the hospital at 6:30a.m for Dr. Johanson to place a "PortaCath". This is a semi permanent IV site just under the skin next to the sternum that can be accessed easily over and over without the damage to the peripheral veins.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Don't start thinking!
Thursday night I was reading one of the books that our friends had brought me. At some point it showed a table of the 5 year survival rates for lung cancer. For some reason that set me back. I had not heard yet from anyone that 85.5% of those who get lung cancer aren't around after 5 years to talk about it. Perhaps because I don't feel sick yet just short of breath on occasion and I don't have the energy I did a couple of months ago. Otherwise it's business as usual. That statistic sort of slapped me up the side of the head. Even Dr. Dickson's "your going to die talk" the first day we met with him did not have that effect. I mopped around for the balance or the evening wondering if I could really win this fight.
The next morning I talked to Denise about it. It was obvious that the table was inclusive of all lung cancers. It did not say when the cancer was discovered. The numbers are correct but all lumped together. As Dr. Dickson told us "I still need a miracle". I got back on my mental horse and determined to be in that 14.5%. There are a lot of things on my side physically not to even begin counting the spiritual side.
More than anything I think I was amazed at how quickly I could be "turned to the dark side". There is a big fight ahead and if not found early and treated aggressively very few survive. It sounds like I will continue to need the moral support all of you have so gladly given: thank-you all. I still have a lot of things to do on this side of the Vail.
The next morning I talked to Denise about it. It was obvious that the table was inclusive of all lung cancers. It did not say when the cancer was discovered. The numbers are correct but all lumped together. As Dr. Dickson told us "I still need a miracle". I got back on my mental horse and determined to be in that 14.5%. There are a lot of things on my side physically not to even begin counting the spiritual side.
More than anything I think I was amazed at how quickly I could be "turned to the dark side". There is a big fight ahead and if not found early and treated aggressively very few survive. It sounds like I will continue to need the moral support all of you have so gladly given: thank-you all. I still have a lot of things to do on this side of the Vail.
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