6,7,8.....

I'm already slacking and it's only the eighth. Oops.

The sixth:
Today I'm thankful for my wonderful car. I love my baby. She's beautiful and she runs great and she's just so perfect. I love her. She gets me where I need to go and she's great fun to drive.

The seventh:
I'm thankful for the Temple. At the temple everything is going to be okay. Always. No matter what happens. I love the temple.

The eighth:
I'm grateful for my mom. She's the best mom I could ask for. She is my best friend and my biggest cheerleader. I would be no where without her.

Fifth

Today I am grateful for my blankets, heater, and warm clothing. I get cold very easily. I don't like being cold.  I like being warm and toasty when it's cold outside.

November 4, 2012

Today I'm grateful for two things. Number one: I am not in charge of Munch and Mingle every week. If I was I would have had a break down by now. Number two: Music. I love music so much. My favorite moments in life are set to music. Music speaks to me in a way that I understand. I love that my mom made me take piano lessons, even if I hated it at the time. I love that I can sing. I love  that I can listen to and feel music.

November 3, 2012

Today I am grateful for my best friend. I don't even know where to start. Her name is Shalee Kaye Ozuna Secody. Today she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Kaylyn Nizhoni Secody. We've been best friends our entire lives, and we've been through absolutely everything together. From first crushes to chasing boys around the playground to first dates to first boyfriends to her first baby. And now on to her second. I cannot even begin to describe how grateful I am that we have stayed friends. Not just friends, best friends. We can tell each other anything. We don't have to say anything, we can just sit in silence and enjoy being together. I can tell what she's thinking half the time. She knows me better than almost anyone. Her children are my niece and nephew. There's no doubt about that. I've known her through three names, countless phone numbers, elementary school drama, junior high school drama, high school drama, and college drama. Through it all we've stayed best friends. No matter how far away we are from each other, or how long it's been since we've seen each other, we are still best friends. I will never be able to express how grateful I am that she has stood by me through everything.

The Second

Today I am grateful for the missionaries I saw yesterday. I was on my way to the gym and stopped at a red light. I saw them ride around the corner, then stop and get off their bikes. They gathered something from their pocket, then one of them walked back around the corner and handed money a homeless man with a sign that they had just ridden past. I know missionaries don't have a lot of money. I know they were probably headed somewhere. But they took the time and sacrifice to stop and give this man what little they could. I'm grateful for missionaries that are such a good example to me.

November

It's November. I can't even believe it. This year has flown by. It's nuts. I decided to be grateful this month, since Thanksgiving is so often overlooked. Christmas stuff is already out in all the stores. So everyday this month, I'm going to list something that I'm grateful for.

Today I'm grateful for the gym. I love the gym. My mother may not believe that since I have to make myself go every day, but I truly do. It's one of the things that has kept me sane while being unemployed. It's something  that I can control. A place where not one single person asks me how the job hunt is going. Not one. I don't have to have a ready made response to answer the question I dread so much. The gym is my friend.

Camp Kesem!

Where to even begin? Since last August I have been volunteering with Camp Kesem SUU. We were starting our chapter, and it was nuts. I was stressed, frustrated, and cried myself to sleep many times thinking it just wouldn't happen. We organized fundraisers, found campers and counselors, and up until the kids started showing up, had nightmares about whether or not it would happen. The admin team didn't sleep for weeks coming into camp because we were remembering everything we had forgotten to do that day. I honestly had a constant nightmare that none of the kids would show up. Gouda (our co-chair) was having nightmares about a forest fire since we'd had so many here this summer. Tink was hoping the schedule would work out. We all had constant headaches. But it was SO WORTH IT!!

Monday morning we had 29 campers show up to Navajo Trails camp in Bicknell, Utah. We started a week that I will always remember as the best week of my life. These kids all have one thing in common: a parent with cancer. They have had to grow up way too soon, and worry about things no child should ever worry about. This week was a chance for them to just be kids, and have the fun they should be having every day while not worrying about cancer.

We had five days jam packed with fun activities, food, water games, etc. My throat is still raw from all the camp songs and games and giving directions. I'm covered in bug bites. I did not get nearly enough sleep as we were getting ready for the next day. I showered with spiders. My lips are chapped because my chapstick disappeared during our enlargement skit. If I ever have to play "Ride that Pony" ever again it will be too soon. So overall, the best week ever.

I got to watch children relax. I got to see them blossom. I got to see them talk to other kids who know exactly what they are going through. I saw them make friends and build relationships that will last forever, because they will forever have a parent that had cancer. I saw them build a support system that will see them through rough times, good times, and, unfortunately for some, funerals. They found out they are in this together, which is something some of them never imagined. They were exchanging phone numbers and email addresses so they can keep in touch. They were making plans for next year. They were talking about the thing that affects them all: Cancer. It's a terrifying word. Especially for a 6 year old. Some of them have already lost parents. Some of them know they soon will. But they also know they will never be alone because of the relationships they have made.

These children have strength that I hope I can emulate. They go through a life that they should not have to face with unending energy and joy. They step up to fill the shoes of their sick parent because they have to do something or feel helpless. They care for younger siblings, make dinner, do the laundry, clean the house, etc. This week we gave them a chance to regain their childlike energy and get ready to face whatever is coming their way.

We aren't allowed to post pictures with campers on our personal sites, so here are the few I have without campers....

Last day of camp, admin staff thanking our counselors. 

 Getting ready for campers to show up.

 Waiting, waiting, waiting. 

 Our advisory board.

 Gouda with Karl.

 Karl ringing the bell

 Karl all dressed up for western day

 Island day.

 Mexico day.

 One of the campers made me a key chain. 

Phishy and I. 

They kept us laughing all week. They made us cry when they opened up about what they face at home everyday. They wore us out playing games and singing songs and having water fights. They came up with hilarious cheers and skits. They stayed up late to prank their counselors coming back from staff meeting. They got cuts and scrapes and bruises. They captured the flag over and over. They roped the bull, slid the slip'n'slide, made crafts, decorated pinatas, played with Karl Kesem, did sack races, three legged races, and just had a whole lot of fun. We were expecting them to stay up late all night. But we wore them out so much, they were asleep by midnight every night. They got to be a kid. 29 children got the chance of a lifetime to just have fun. All the sleepless nights, stress and worry were beyond worth it.

P.S. My new blog title comes from one of our adorable six year old campers who was always asking us to cut him some swack:) His lisp was so adorable I just couldn't spell it slack. :)

I know.

I know that my Redeemer lives. I know that he loves me. I know that he has a plan for my life that I can't see. I know that his gospel is true. I know that with all of my heart. I know that he will lead me where I'm supposed to go, no matter how hard it is for me to give up the control. I trust him completely. 

Recently I've been listening to two songs by gospel artists. One is Rescue Me by Jenny Phillips. 

You rescue me
And all I can do is hold on
I am weak
But here in redeeming arms
You show me how I'm strong

You change me
Just by your loving me so deep
You believe
And somehow something better
Wells up inside of me

[Chorus]
You rescue me (Lord and deliverer)
You carry me (Master, life-giver)
Maker of worlds
King of all kings
You cover me (Shepherd and Savior)
With mighty grace (Redeemer, creator)
And whisper I'm safe
You've already won (God's mighty son)
You rescue me

I know now
My story will end with you
My knees will bend
And you will extend your arms
And you will make me new

[Chorus]

Lord and Deliverer
Master, life-giver
Shepherd and Savior
Redeemer, Creator

He does rescue me. Every single day. When I feel like I can't stand one more day in Cedar City, he shows me something good about the day. He helps me to see the strengths I have, and to know that my choices are right. Nursing is for me. I'm good at it. I love doing it. I love the feeling of helping people when they can't help themselves. I love being able to say I'm a nurse. It's definitely the job for me. I know that he will lead me to whatever job I'm supposed to have to touch the people I'm supposed to touch. 

Lent.

Lent starts tomorrow. To copy my sister, I've never really understood it. She got me thinking however, that Lent may not be a bad idea. It's a chance to give up something that will bring me closer to God. And lets be honest, I can't totally give up eating sweets. I would lose my mind. But I can exercise some self control. When I sit in my room bored because my semester is so easy, I eat. The only thing that ever sounds good to me at all is pure sugar. Chocolate, conversation hearts, starbursts, you name it. I need to stop buying it. That way I stop eating it. I always tell myself I'll buy one bag and have self control when I get home. Does it happen? No.

When I finish a bag of something, I feel awful about myself. This is something I can change. And it can help me feel better about myself. So. Here goes. Limiting junk food. Two pieces of candy a day. By pieces I mean little pieces. Like the bite size ones. And I'll start eating real healthy food, even when it sounds nauseating. I have to start eating real food.

Wish me luck!

Hobby

It's official. I need a hobby. I don't know what to do with spare time. I just don't. For my whole life the focus has been school. Well now School is almost over (HALLE-FREAKING-ULAH) and I don't know what to do with myself. This semester I only have class two days a week, and I'll be done with clinical on Monday night. Then what am I supposed to do? I honestly have no idea. It's gonna be worse when I graduate and get a job and only work three days/nights a week. So. Time to find a hobby. I've never really had one, other than reading. I can't draw. I suck at painting. I've tried crochet but I didn't pick up on it. I've tried embroidery, which I kinda liked, but that would require getting all the stuff. and the patience. Ugh. I don't know what hobby to get!

On the bright side, school is almost over! I graduate in three months! I'm so excited! The only catch there is then I have to figure out what I want to do with my life. Not an easy decision. Where to find a job? Move somewhere different? Stay in Utah? I have no idea. At some point I'd like to get married. But who knows when that will happen. I can't even get a date! Boys are dumb. At least right now.

Frustrated...

AGH! I'm so frustrated right now. Well. Not as frustrated as last night. Last night I was very mad. Why do we have to have boys in our lives? And why are they so stupid? Especially when their friends are around. Or brothers in this case. Who tells a girl that he's starting to like her a lot, and then chooses to talk with his twin brother that he lives with over hanging out with said girl? Really? I'm getting very tired of waiting for his words to match his actions. Very tired. I deserve a guy who wants to be with me, not one that I have to chase. He needs to chase me. I'm done. I've chased him for an entire semester and I start almost every conversation. Now it's his turn. I give up.