Joyful Emotional Contagion

Yesterday, I had the great privilege of presenting to an assembly of Catholic nuns at the Mercy Center in Burlingame, California. These women are all doing wonderful work in the world, and it was great sharing with them about mindfulness-based dementia care, and ways that they can use the approach to better serve their ailing sisters and others also dealing with the illness. 

I want to talk about something else though . . .

What struck me, once more, is the powerful impact on oneself, of keeping company with those deeply immersed in the spiritual life. I felt uplifted, literally, and filled with gladness during my whole visit at Mercy Center. This morning, the joy is still there, coursing through my whole body. Emotional contagion is very real. It can go both ways and one needs to guard oneself from toxicity or just plain unconsciousness in one's close networks. Conversely, one is to cultivate friendships with others whose whole life is devoted to the pursuit of inner happiness.  

Again, I ask myself, which company do I want to keep? Which people do I want in my life? Which place do I want to dwell in? Which activities do I want to keep? Which ones to I want to let go of? One very good friend whose life was nearly taken away by cancer, shared the same concern this morning. "I feel that God gave me another lease on life. And I ask myself, am I to continue as before? I know the answer is no. I just need to figure out what to do differently" 

Sure, we want to have compassion for those with dust in their eyes. We want to extend loving kindness to them. And, at the same time we need not, should not seek or maintain their company. 

Sharing Some Delights

Grateful for gift of half-day retreat with Gil, yesterday. During my interview with him, I shared the joy of my progress. How concentration is becoming easier and easier. Earlier during sitting, I had been able to welcome pain in stomach with relaxed openness, neither trying to transform it, nor hoping for time in near future without it. As a result, pain had transformed into another sensation, higher up in the chest and head. Things were moving . . . We talked about my travels, and how that experience had served to make me more aware. I was pleased, and so was Gil. I left, giddy with delight, and a touch of doubt also. Dwelling in joy with my teacher seemed almost too easy.

At the end of the retreat, Gil talked about the conditions for delight and joy. Here are my notes:

How can we avail to opportunities for joy more often? I used to think joy was the product of something that gave me reason to be joyful. With Dharma practice, I have learned to recognize that joy can bubble up from inside, independent from outer conditions in the world. 

One of inner conditions for joy is being relaxed and at ease. Joy is like an open window, and hindrances such as fear and resentment act as blinds that obscure the window of joy.

The other condition is appreciation. Like joy, appreciation does not need and external reason. Also the ability to appreciate deeper things in ourselves, allows us to appreciate others more deeply.

Barriers to appreciation include: being afraid of each other, not trusting, thinking appreciation is too sentimental, wanting something from someone, . . .

Sources of appreciation of other people: appreciation of obstacles they are facing in life, and how hard they are working to overcome them, appreciation of others engaged in Dharma practice, . . . 

Think of the many opportunities for appreciation that are easily available in our life. At the same time, be careful to not paper over difficulties.

Experiencing joy and delight is such a beautiful thing! 

I wonder, when is the last time you felt joy? What were the conditions?

Keeping It Simple, with Ajahn Anandabodhi

Still giddy, from morning spent with Ajahn Anandabodhi, at IMC. So much joy, I caught from the nun! I remember same exaltation after listening to another nun, Beth Goldring, a few months ago. This is proof enough for me, of the power of intense mindfulness practice . . . I am also left wondering what is it in particular, about women Dharma teachers that resonates so much with me?

Anjhas Metta and Anandabodhi, during visit at IMC

Ajahn Anandabodhi made one point in particular during her talk, that spoke directly to how I have been feeling lately:

The main thing is to be fully present in the moment. What is stopping me from opening to the moment? Possible obstacles, opportunities to practice:

1. fear of what might happen in the future, in which case, one can just make room for fear and observe it
2. difficulty taking in all beauty of moment, and possibility of opening to it
3. challenging times, that can be experienced as opportunities to open the heart

In all, nothing to fear, every moment is good, and opportunity to learn and grow. Buddha points us back to life in this moment as it is.

It is so easy to get lost in the myriad of teachings, when indeed the task at hand is really simple. To be fully open to the moment. That's all.

Catching Joy From Beth Goldring

The temptation to stay home, reading the Sunday paper, and sipping tea almost kept me from attending Sunday practice at IMC. I decided to go last minute, and made it just in time for the second sitting. When the bell rang, I discovered someone else sitting instead of Gil. Nun, monk, it was hard to tell with shaved head and robe . . . I was really curious.

Beth Goldring, founder and director of the Cambodia Aids Project, soon had the whole room riveted to her every word. What an inspiration! I was so grateful I could meet her, and catch a bit of her infectious joy.