Oh, the places you'll go...

Besides arguing over atrocious Christmas songs, my family and I also enjoy playing with fire. Linda found some ear candles at Central Market and when I told her that not only do they draw the wax out of your ears, but that Ryan and I had tried it before and it worked, she was ready to give it a whirl. The scoffers, aka Karen and my mom, were having none of it. This picture was taken about two seconds before I thought I'd set her face and neck on fire. Side note: make sure the candle fits tightly in your ear canal or else smoke will billow around your head and cause a panic amongst those around you. She let me finish that ear but did request that a cup of water be nearby, just in case.

The following is a conversation I had with my sister Karen when she came to visit this past weekend. We're driving around trying to find a parking space at Burlington Coat Factory when the song "Christmas Shoes" comes on the radio. Karen: "I love this song. Turn it up!" Me: "What is it?" Karen: "'Christmas Shoes'." Me: "You like that song?" Karen: "Yes, I love it! It makes me want to cry every time I hear it." Me: "Ugh. It makes me want to vomit every time I hear it." Everyone in the car: "Gasp!" Karen: "I can't believe you don't like that song...blah, blah, blah...it's the greatest song ever...blah, blah, blah..." I'll spare you the rest but suffice it to say, it got pretty heated. My other sister, Linda, joined the debate and said it made her cry too. Though if you know her, you know that doesn't mean much. She can cry at the drop of a hat. I simply made the point...

So, during the middle of graduation, the batteries in my camera died. And being the prepared woman that I am, I didn't bring any extra, even though I've known this day was coming for the past four years. I grabbed my sister's camera but couldn't figure out how to work it. So I took her batteries and all is right with the world. Until we go to take pictures afterwards and those batteries die too. Wife of the year strikes again.

Here's to four years, three homes, two states and a partridge in a pear tree.

I was tagged by Mary Anne ...the rules say to answer each question with one word. Here we go... 1. Where is your cell phone? purse 2. Your significant other? handsome 3. Your hair? frizzy 4. Your mother? precious 5. Your father? missed 6. Your favorite thing? laughter 7. Your dream last night? forgot 8. Your favorite drink? Coca-Cola 9. Your dream goal? homeowner 10. The room your in? office 11. Your fear? snakes 12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? happy 13. Where were you last night? Amy's 14. What your not? decisive 15. Muffins/donuts? both 16. One of your wish list items? mixer 17. Where you grew up? Alabama 18. The last thing you did? ate 19. What are you wearing? skirt 20. Your TV? off 21. Your pet? spoiled 22. Your computer? necessary 23. Your life? crazy 24. Your mood? good 25. Missing someone? yes 26. Favorite past time? reading 27. Something your not wearing? pants 28. Favorite store? Target 29. Your summer? busy 30. Your favorite color? pink 31. When is the last time ...

Unless you've been living under a rock and unable to read this regularly, you know that we are graduating this semester. This week to be exact. And to celebrate, Jennifer and I decided to throw our husbands a surprise party. And with a little planning and a LOT of help, it was a success. Here's how it went down: While we were getting everything set up... ...Ryan and Todd were watching football at a friend's house. Then all of a sudden... Ben and Kyle break into the house and kidnap our graduates... ...and deliver them to the party. Don't let our innocent looks fool you. We'd been scheming for months. Shout out to our media man, TJ... ...and thanks to everyone who came and helped set up. And they all graduated happily ever after.

Tis the season... Send your own ElfYourself eCards

I went hunting for the first time over Thanksgiving break. And by "hunting" I mean I sat in the tree stand and read while Ryan looked for deer. I even had my picture taken in all of my camouflaged and bright orange glory, unfortunately it was taken with a disposable camera and I don't have access to it yet. Let's just say I make a very prissy huntress. I was probably the only one in the "deer woods", as we pros call it, with make-up on and her hair fixed. You hunt your way, I'll hunt mine. Ryan did draw the line at letting me take my purse with me. Apparently red patent leather didn't go with all the guns and ammunition we were already taking with us. I don't know what I would've done if he'd killed something. He would've had to drag the deer back to the truck by himself while I walked ahead, crying and singing "Amazing Grace".

I couldn't make up my mind if I should do a top ten list of what I'm thankful for or a list of my favorite Thanksgiving food, so I've decided to combine them. And since I'm sure most of you haven't been able to sleep at night for wondering what it is I love most about the holiday, I've compiled the following. This is truly a riveting blog. Nevertheless, I give you: The Top Ten Things I Love about Thanksgiving. 1. Pecan pie I could eat this every day of my life and not get tired of it. Though I would get tired of always having to buy new pants to accommodate my ever-increasing waistline. Add a few semi-sweet chocolate chips before baking and it will bring a grown man to his knees. It must be homemade, however; I will not tolerate a store-bought pecan pie. If you bring one to a function I may thank you and tell you it's my favorite, but I die a little on the inside. I make a mean pecan pie. And that's not bragging, it's just honest. 2. The Macy's P...

The Welkers have been some of our best friends since moving to Texas and since we've all been uber-busy lately, we thought it would be fun to spend the day together catching up and hanging out, otherwise known as Day 'O Fun. Amy and I began the day with lunch at La Madeline's Yum-o. After that we did a little Christmas shopping that included picture frames that we decoupaged for each other. The plan is to keep a photo of the others' family in it. And who wouldn't want a picture of me and Ryan in their house? We met up with the boys for supper which we'd cooked while making our picture frames. We're multi-talented like that. After dinner we played a round of putt-putt at this bootleg place in town. It's hard to tell here, but this is their "we love golf" dance. My victory cheer after my hole-in-one. Ryno on a rhino. Roll Tide!

The wife of my 7th grade youth minister found me on Facebook today and we got to talk for a bit on the FB instant messenger. At some point during the conversation she's browsing through my photos online and says: "You look great! You still look exactly the same as you did back then." During my awkward years. Years that included a mullet that may or may not have been permed at one point. I'm not sure that was a compliment. So I told Ashley about our conversation, expecting to hear a similar story of being tow-up back in the day. Instead her response was: "YOU HAD A MULLET?" Yes. Yes, I did. It may not be the proudest few years of my life but in my defense they were cool when I first got it and it grew out in the 8th grade so it’s not like it shows up in my prom pictures or anything. No, I will not be posting any photos from back in the day. I'd like to maintain some semblance of dignity, fleeting as it may be.

For those of you who may not know, our world has been mad crazy lately. Graduation is fast approaching and not only do we not have a job nailed down, but we have to be out of campus housing by the first of the year. There's much more to this story but I won't bore you with a lot of details. It's kind of like a snow globe. We're the little figurines inside and someone is shaking the crap out of us. We're just waiting for a plan to fall in place like so much cheap plastic snow or glitter. Seriously. It's ridiculous to the point of being funny. Not funny ha-ha so much, but rather "are you kiddin' me?" funny. But in the midst of all of this, God been blessing us through some really cool people. Tristan and Anna surprised us a with bunch of fun stuff to help us de-stress from our current situation. It included popcorn, cookies, hot chocolate and smell-good candle. I call it happiness in a bowl. A few weeks ago, my friend Jennifer brought me this set of ...

As many of you know, Ryan is graduating this semester. (Woo hoo!) The school he attends has a program called Dressed for Service that allows graduates to nominate their wives to receive a new outfit for graduation, interviews, etc. And guess who was one of those selected... I can't tell you how much fun this was. Each recipient had a personal shopper from the school to help pick out clothes and accessories and to determine what looked best. A girl can never have too many people tell her she looks good. My big head is slowly beginning to come back down to its normal size. We each got a suit, shoes, handbag and jewelry. They even included pantyhose and shoe pads for those of us with mismatched feet. I'm modeling the pants here but I also got a skirt to mix it up. Notice the houndstooth. I'm nothing if not loyal to my team. The lady who told Ryan I'd been selected said she'd read his application nominating me and it made her cry. I'm not sure if it was because he ...

When we were first married, I told Ryan's family that I couldn't cook, thinking that it would be a cute little story to share and maybe I'd get some laughs. It's been a running joke ever since. Well that was almost four years ago and I'm actually pretty good now. Only they don't know that. Ha ha. So when Ryan's dad and stepmom came to visit this past weekend, I was determined to prove myself to them. My roast was thawed, my crock pot was borrowed and I was ready. Like Starship, nothing was gonna stop me now. "What's for breakfast?" his dad asked Friday night, looking straight at me. "Umm..." OK, I don't do breakfast. I can do brunch, I can do breakfast food for dinner, but I simply cannot bring myself to get up early to cook. I'm not a morning person. I'm tired, grumpy and my mental faculties aren't at 100% just yet. And I would've explained all of this to him except I didn't want to appear lazy. I am, but he d...

Last year, Ryan and I volunteered at the Cowtown Carnival, our church's Halloween alternative. It was loud and crazy and there were kids running around everywhere. But it was fun and we got to dress up and get free candy. It doesn't take much to make us happy. Well this year we signed up to help out at the petting zoo. Obviously our judgment was impaired because sugar-crazed children and small farm animals go together like gasoline and fire. And while Ryan and the others played bouncer for the penned in animals, I spent the evening on turkey patrol which includes, but is not limited to, following him around as he wandered amongst the crowd and making sure he didn't attack anyone and vice versa. You can't make this stuff up. This turkey was a diva too. He liked to be petted but not too much, and when he got stressed out he would rub up against my leg and want a hug. His name was PT, much like J. Lo. except much higher maintenance. This was my view for most of the evening...