updates

i'm coming into my 36th week, which means that i'm on labour watch starting now. rasa macam nak cepatkan lagi. tak larat already. tak larat nak bangun at 6 everyday pergi kerja, tak larat nak keluar rumah by 6.30 and sampai office before 7am. melangok je sorang-sorang. central aircond pun tak bukak lagi. check on FB and twitter, bumpwatch celebrities on the net and feel inadequate and lament on the fact that my pregnancy seems longer then theirs. (seriously, kejap je their bump besar and then beranak). sometimes, i siap boleh tido lagi sejam until work starts at 8.30.

some days, when i'm really tired and immovable, i'll doze off on my table around 11-ish, or 3-ish. kalau boss ada i tak tido lah, kurang ajar namanya tu. serious penat and sleepy. can't sleep well anymore now that the tummy is almost visible from space. one night last week, i woke up around 2.30 ish to pee and poop and i could not go back to sleep. i was having rather frequent Braxton Hicks, and it's everytime i coughed. and with the Braxton Hicks, i was having tummy cramps that made me purge. i didn't sleep until 7 something. had to ponteng work to sleep.

tossing and turning in bed is like a chore. i have to physically hold my tummy and carry it to one side first before i can move my entire body. my back from the shoulder down is killing me. to make it worse, the baby wont let me sleep on my sides. it's much more comfortable for both of us when i sleep on my back, but now that he's 2.5kg, that position is rather ridiculous for my spine. but despite that, people have pointed out that my tummy is not as big as when i was carrying Arwen around this time. i couldnt agree more. i rasa, with Arwen i had a lot of water retention. so much so that my feet grew 1 size bigger, they were so swollen i cannot even make a step without crying. i can't even wear my wedding ring. this time around, it's not as bad. i can still wear the ring. but i'm in fitflops most of the time so i'm not sure if my feet grew more.

oh! good news from the last checkup. the baby is engaged! he's turned around and is already in position for labour. and my (or is it the baby's) placenta has moved up a bit. turns out it was just type 1 - low-lying placenta preavia. it was probably the baby's breached position with his leg stomping on it like he's making placenta wine that made it penyek and seemingly ke bawah. now that he's turned around and left the placenta alone, it's ok. let's just hope he stays this way until delivery. a delivery we can now hope for a normal one instead of a c-sect. which means that i'll just have to leave it up to the baby when he's ready to come out. but i'm kinda coaxing him to not wait around for too long. with Arwen dulu pun, by the time we reached 37 weeks i was already telling her that it's ok if she wants to come early and guess what? she listened! that was just one of the times she listens to her mom lah. dah besar ni memang takde lah, kan?

i stll have not gotten around to write about Arwen's birthday celebration. malas betul nak ambik and edit the pics from my brother's camera. memang dah takde kudrat nak buat anything more than just lying in bed watching TV. Nasib baik now Arwen's big enough to go pee and wash herself after. Berak je I bangun to cuci her. kalau tak, penat you kejap kejap nak bangun! dahlah dia banyak kencing. bukan bapak dia tak tolong, but bila bapak dia tido, takkan nak kejut takat nak cebok anak. tappiiiiiii... dah ada new baby nanti memang i tak pedulik. dia kena bangun jugak! take turns to change and feed baby. but if the boobs work then feeding is all on me lah, kan? takleh macam dulu, i rasa cam taknak kejut pasal ye lah, kita cuti dia kerja so nak kena bangun awal kan? tapi sebab dah nyaris meroyan dulu, dia kena faham yang cuti bersalin tu bukan cuti namanya. serious lagi penat dari kerja. dengan tak tido, dengan sakit, dengan tak bestnya berpantang, dengan baby meragam tak tau apa dia nak.

but lucky, my mom will be around during the day this pantang. dulu i was mostly alone, my dad je yang tolong prepare breakfast. lunch pun kadang, roti je coz it was puasa time so memang susah lah nak cari makan. most time, my dad will be out leaving me alone with the baby. arwen was oklah, senang nak jaga. letak je atas badan, dia diam, tido. call lah mcdonalds ke apa yang senang. pantang tak serupa pantang. pasal tu boleh mengelat bukak fridge or minum air sejuk sukati je. lepas tu bila sakit sengal satu badan, menyesal tak sudah. now, my mom dah full-time pencen, tolong jaga Arwen. at least she's around the whole day to help me pantang for real this time.

she's not that strict lah when it comes to pantang. just as long as i drink what i'm supposed to be drinking to get better, she's ok with that. pakai shorts, tido dalam aircond pun ok je. takdelah sampai kena 24 jam kena pilis, bengkung, ikat rambut ketat-ketat cam nek kebayan, pakai kain batik dengan socks, jalan terkemut-kemut macam kabuki girls. my mom is moderately modern when it comes to confinement. not that i'm excited about being in confinement or anything, but i know it's not gonna be as bad.

baby stuff is almost done preparing. just a few more items like changing mat (coz i dont know where i kept the one i had with Arwen), formula milk on standby, diapers and wipes. my hospital bag is not prepared yet, though. maybe because i still have to wear some of the stuff that i'm planning to pack. but i will have to get around to do it soon, now that i'm on labour watch. i dont know when i'll be in labour, it could be anytime from now so i best get everything prepared.

my brother's KL reception is on the 22nd and Arwen's got her first school concert show on the 30th where she's the leader and she has to introduce her class' number. i hope i won't be in labour on these dates. if in between takpe, just not during the events coz that would be very dramatic and the last thing i want is to steal anyone's thunder by screaming "oh my god, my water broke!"  

nama baby pun dah sort of finalized. biarpun my brothers tak berapa nak berkenan dengan the name but ultimately, siapa lagi important? THE MOM WHO CARRIED HIM FOR ALMOST 40 WEEKS AND PUSHED HIM OUT THROUGH HER VAGINA (hopefully), kan? but yeah, we're gonna have to wait and look at the baby's face for the first time nanti baru boleh know which name suits him more. kinda like i did with Arwen. we had a few first names on standby but once i saw her face, i could tell she's kind of an Aryanna. 'Arwen' was already predetermined from the moment we knew she's a girl. With this one, the second name is already a given as my husband, whose name is Azrin Haris, wants 'Haris' for his son. we had discussed about this on our first pregnancy lagi. now that we know it's a boy. 99% sure as we saw the pointy bit of his thing proudly displayed where my husband said "macam tu laaa anak Deidi!". so we only had to think of the first name. At first we kinda wanted Hayden Haris. but Hayden doesnt carry any significant meaning, so i was inclined towards Ayden, which means 'little fire/fiery" and it's a name, although different spelling variations, means the same in Greek, Gaelic, even Arabic. i realize it's a pretty common name in these 2 years but i love how it rolls on the tongue - Ayden Haris. and it kinda rings well when paired with his sister's name - Arwen & Ayden. nak marah dua-dua pun sedap gak nak jerit.

but my brother is kinda adamant, if not really pushy, about naming his nephew Avenger Haris. but he'll settle for Aven Haris. at first i was kinda "hmmm... that's a nice name" until a few days later, practising with the name, it started sounding like Avent. yup, the baby bottle brand. so, yeah, i scrapped it off. although now, Arwen's been telling people that her brother's name is Aven.

i think that's all the update i have for now. i'm just leaving it up to baby and Allah and praying for an early-but-not-too-early and smooth delivery.