#soblessed

So this post title has a hashtag (#) for a reason. I have been thinking a lot lately about what a simple hashtag means to me.

On instagram, facebook and twitter we use hashtags to classify something so that the world can see, which obviously means that its important to us right?

We also use them to emphasize a part of the sentence that we want to stand out. something that we want others to notice.

Hash tags are a way of saying that something means something. That we care about something and we dont care who knows it. If someone searches, they can find it.

Sounds super random that I was thinking like that, but thats how I feel right now #soblessed

These are just a few of the things that are going on right now that I am grateful for.

New Job:

I am currently working at a place called Nexeo HR and Staffing. I was really stressed about finding a job when I moved down here (because a couple things fell through big time) and was wondering what I was going to do. Out of nowhere, this job came about, I emailed my resume, went in for 4 different interviews and got the job. It has been super stressful actually having a big kid job and a work email, but I am so grateful that I have it and that I am trusted as much as I am. I had only been working a day when they told me that in 90 days I would be moving into a management position. There is so much room for growth, especially in the St George area, and once we get things up and running again, the possibilities are endless. Plus...the pay is great :) 

#soblessed

Family:

I dont think you ever can realize how much you love your family until you leave them. When I moved to St George I hadnt gone without seeing my mom for longer than 24 hours in 6 months (since I had gotten home from my mission) and even though I was ready to get out, it was so hard to leave her. I love that she still calls me every day (some times too much! jk momma), that my dad will send me random cute texts, spence will like my instagram posts (ya thats about all i get from him) and that vanny will call me almost every night to tell me about what she learned in spanish. They have been and always will be my biggest supporters. I love them so much. 

#soblessed

Friends:

I seriously cant believe how great my friends are. They are so supportive. Whether its court, chels and alex just listening to all my juicy stories or boy problems or skyping with britt and kels or watching movies with laur or its Tanner and Austin being like my annoying little brothers, I love being with each one of them so much. I love the time that I have had to spend with them and for all the new friends that I have made too. #soblessed

This boy:

So there is a big story behind this one, but I will leave that for another day. Austin (new austin, I know, there are too many) is one of the most amazing boys that I have ever met. I have recently realized that bad days arent even possible if he is by your side. As some of you may know, confidence and self worth are not my strong points, but with this boy I feel like a million bucks. He is CONSTANTLY telling me how amazing I am and how lucky he is to be with me. I never thought that boys like him existed, but they do. He tells me daily how great he thinks I am. One day he had a really bad day and I just went to get a drink not really knowing anything about his bad day. We were in the car and he said something a TEENY bit sassy and I kinda called him out on it saying that he was kinda grumpy. He apologized over and over and said that he never wanted to hurt my feeling in the slightest way. I went to bed (not really even bugged) and didnt think much more of it. The next morning, Alex showed up at my house holding flowers that he had asked her to bring to me. It was the sweetest thing in the whole world and made my whole week. And he didnt even know how much I loved flowers when he sent them. He is so great and I am so lucky to have him in my life right now. 

#soblessed

as you can tell, my life is very blessed and I will continue to count my blessings

#soblessed

Holy Crap. Its September?

Seriously? Its September? Where the heck did the summer go? I cant believe it. Well I just wanted to let all of you know that I am alive. My goal is to update this more regularly, so I should probably catch up before I start on everything new/ Since I have so much to catch up on, im just gonna do like a warp speed catch up since June:

Trip to NYC with the fam.

Trip to New Zealand and Austrailia (Which included bungee jumping, the OGO--google it--, beautiful new zealanders, beautiful austrailan accents, sydney opera house, and great family time)

I got lots of quality time with my family and friends (mostly Britt)!!

I went to Wendover for the first time EVER!! amazing. love that place. 

I have found a new love for shopping, especially the Gap

My boys came home..

I moved to St George, which meant saying  bye to these cuties!! The text message below is the message my mom sent me right after they left. Heart breaker... 

being back in St George means:  

 Aladdin at Tuachan with these girls :) 

Laying by the pool! Especially with the cluffs

This amazing temple 
 

 Getting to see this crazy girl daily. Love my chels.

Hard to get should be called Hard to play.

Have you ever seen John Tucker Must Die? If you have, you will understand this a little more, but if you havent, this is what I am talking about it (and you need to watch it, its hilarious).

John Tucker is a player. The girls want to get back at the player, and they do that by playing him.

The girl who is elected to play him, doesn't have enough "experience" in the game of playing and so the other girls help her and coach her through the process.

Why am I explaining this? Because I have come to the conclusion that that is what I need. I team of girls to coach me how to play the game.

I swear, hard to get is something that they are going to play in Hell. Which is why I am determined not to go there.

Wait this long to text. Dont flirt too much. Be mean to this extent. Dont show them you care. Dont talk to them too much. Flirt with their friends. Send them texts like these. Dont show your cards. Dont be needy. Play it cool. Bla Bla Bla.

Basically, I am over the game of hard to get. Take me out coach. I quit.




LOVE e cards. They are so entertaining

 

Here's where I stand

So if you ever read this blog, you know that its been awhile since I have posted. No I didnt go back on a mission or go on another internet fast, I guess im just trying to figure out where I stand.

Based on some things that have happened in the last couple months, I am a little bit emotionally unstable and im trying to get my feet back on the ground.

I have been talking to my friends and family quite a bit lately and have come to some conclusions.

I am currently 21 just about 22. I have a college degree and just about NO responsibilities. When I get married, I will not have the luxury of not having to look after anyone but myself, and although that is something that I am really looking forward to, why not enjoy my "freedom" while it lasts. You could take that sentence as negative, but honestly I am not meaning it like that. All I am saying, is that I am finally okay with where I am, WITHOUT someone standing next ot me.

Why not buy what I want to when I want to? And make as many friends as I can? And hang out every night if I want to? Kiss whoever I want to? ;) haha sorry I had to put that one in there.

This is my time to be who I want to be without worrying about anyone else.

I am at a point right now where I shouldnt have any other option but to love where I am and where I am at with my life.

This summer, my goal is to have as much fun as I can and remember that I can do just that WITHOUT a current "love of my life"

Things happen when we least expect it and they always say that as soon as you stop looking for love, it will come. So here is to a great summer.... LOVE FREE :)

Here are some pictures from my fun summer thus far!!

Trip to california to visit my aunt and cousins!

Hanging out with this girl EVERY DAY :)

Trip to St George for state baseball with Shayla...and seeing Jacen there!

Random "flashback to high school" hangouts!

Memorial Day with the Lawson Family :) kickball and softball

 Bees Game!!! And reconnecting with Eric and Spencer for the first time since high school :)

Trips to St George cause Tina is home from his mission, and getting to see nate too!

Love the summertime and I am determined to make this the best summer of my life, with no strings and no heartbreak. We will see how long this lasts :) More amazing summer memories to come!!

What are trials good for?

Sometimes I ask, why was that even put in my life? Why couldn't I have just avoided that all together and avoided where I am now? Well thats not how it goes. We are in this life to experience the good and the bad. The happy and the sad. The joy and the heartbreak. Still, in the midst of our trials we sit here thinking to ourselves, WHY? Especially when we are doing everything that we are supposed to be doing, why does this have to happen right now?

This is what I have discovered: 

Sometimes we need the heartbreak to understand the true love.

Sometimes we need to fail to understand the feeling of success.

Sometimes we need the hard days to make the good ones that much better. 

Sometimes we need to hurt to find out by ourselves how to turn to God to make it better. 

Just like President Hinkley said: 

A little easier said than done :) 

What is and what isnt?

So something that was really important on my mission was following the spirit and receiving personal revelation. Although sometimes it was hard to distinguish what is and what isn't the spirit on the mission, for the most part, it was pretty easy. I was surrounded by the spirit 24/7 and was doing everything I was supposed to do all the time. I had a one track mind and was only focused on that one thing. 

Here in the real world, things are a little different. I feel like there are always so many things running through my mind and I cant decide if its the spirit, the world or just my mind. I am doing everything I am supposed to be doing. 

Fasting for answers. 

Going to the temple. 

Praying every day. 

Reading my scriptures. 

Keeping commandments. 

You think I should be getting answers right? Ya well maybe I am, but I cant decide what they are. 

One minute I am thinking one thing then 2 seconds later I am thinking the opposite. One second I am happy and then something happens and I feel like I hit rock bottom. Why the heck are my emotions all over the place?? I am so confused and have no idea what to do about lots of things. 

Being here in the real world, praying about decisions that will impact my entire life, how do I distinguish what is the spirit and what isnt? 

When do I know whether I give up on something or keep going? 

Sorry 3 hour nap, bad night and wayyy too much time on my hands today. 

Who are you?

Have you ever asked yourself "Who am I?"

I have.

Where are you most like yourself?

I feel like I am most like myself when I am with my family or alone in my car. No one to impress, no one watching and who cares what you are really like. Let your flaws go and just be who you are. Now the question is, why is it JUST in those places?

I was talking with the boy last night and he told me the day that he knew he loved me was a day when we were at my house with all my family and friends in my own comfort zone and wearing a sweatshirt and jeans with no pressure at all.

WOW.

You mean I dont have to try and impress everyone around me and try so hard to look cute 24/7?

When they say that stress brings out the worst in you, THEY ARE RIGHT. I have been stressed over lots of things this week, which just causes problems and causes more stress, its like a never ending cycle that I dont know how to kick. I thought that rushing into marriage or a relationship would be validating enough and just show me that someone is there, but thats not how it works. How do I let someone love me if they dont even know who I am? Heck, I dont even know who I am sometimes.

How do you just forget about the things that are stressing you out and just go back to being yourself and not caring about what people think and whats ahead?

How do you just focus on enjoying right now and everything that you currently have?

Right now, I am on the qwest to find who I really am. Sounds like kind of an easy thing right? Summer, just stop caring and do it. Well considering I have tried to be confident and find who I am since I was like 13, I obviously have some issues with it. Any ideas?

First of all, and some of you may have noticed, but I have started with cutting Facebook out of my life. I love that stupid site, a little too much sometimes, but I think the reason why I like it, is because I can look at everyone else's life. Thats not a good thing because then I start comparing myself to them and realizing that I will never be as good as them. So for now, its gone. And I am a week and counting, holding strong :) I feel a lot better too.

So let the qwest begin :)

Here is a picture of me, being myself, with the boy on Easter Sunday :) Great day.

Whats going on?

So, my goal is to blog more often, and that hasn't happened! Its been super busy. Heres some of the stuff thats been going on :) 

I CANNOT believe I have been home from my mission 6 weeks! Thursday, me and the boy went to the airport to welcome home one of my companions who was coming home just one transfer behind me! I cant believe that she is already home and I cant believe everything that has happened in 6 weeks! 

Trip to STG!! So randomly, I just decided to go to St George for the weekend. BEST DECISION EVER!!! It was so great to get away and see all my amazing friends. I just wish I could live there forever. I dont have any pictures, but I was with Chels, Alex, Court, Laur and Kelsey most of the weekend. They basically are the greatest friends I could ever ask for and I love them all. I am so blessed to have such great friends! 

Hunger Games: LOVED IT :) the boy was still in cali at this point so i got to take haley as my date!! it was so much fun, but we were SOOO tired when it was over! 

My little brother will be on broadway one day, his play just finished in centerville and as usual he did AMAZING (dont tell him though, his head will get bigger). oh and sometimes I just like to try on my grandmas cute glasses....hahaha. 

Got to hang out with this cute boy. Scout. Its laurens nephew, he is sooo cute!! this was us in the ER waiting for aunt haley to have some tests done! everything was just fine though, thank heavens. 

Conference weekend!! I even got to go to the Saturday morning session with this cute boy... watching conference is amazing, but its even more amazing watching it with a boy!! 

Date nights to the temple :) we even got to go to the SPANISH session, which was AWESOME!! Oh and I guess the boy was pretty great too ;)