Choice

There have been many things on my mind recently. The television, facebook, all types of media seem to be filled with lot's of voices proclaiming injustice, inequality, and the wrong doings of others. And as such, at times I have wondered "Am I missing something?". There are those that proclaim that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints are lead by a bunch of old men, left in the last century of thinking. And so I think "Could I be wrong about my beliefs?".....truly?

These thought were weighing heavily on my mind the other day.........and then assurance came. Sometimes I wonder what it must be like for Heavenly Father constantly reaching out to us, his children. Beckoning them, pleading for us to come back home. I wonder what his voice would sound like as he gives me the same council he has given the last several year........It is a choice. We choose what we will put heart into. It is as simple as this. So simple in fact that you think, surely there is more to it then that.....Nope.

This first lesson came to me in the darkest of hours. As I held my sweet son in my arms, my baby boy, my little buddy. MY WHOLE WORLD. I held his little body in my arms, this little body with no breath left in it. This little face that had the biggest, brightest smile that you couldn't help but return. This little face that would smile at me no more. IT WAS DARK. My heart was utterly broken and in a room full of people I was totally alone. One of these people in the room was my bishop. I held Gavin in my arms, with tears in a constant stream down my face, I turned to look at my bishop, and I asked " Bishop, why when I need Heavenly Father the most, why do I feel so alone?" and with wisdom that is beyond these mortal bounds he responded, "I don't know." And it was then the first lesson came.

I had a choice. I could choose to believe that there was life after this one. I could choose to believe that one day in the distant future I would hold me sweet boy again. I could choose to believe that death was not the end......or.....I could fall victim to the feelings I was having. I could choose to believe that this feeling of being alone was real, that there was nothing. That I really was alone. That Gavin, literally was gone.....

It was my choice to make. Simple as that. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't easy. I'm not saying EASY, I'm saying.... simple. Clear, no misunderstanding, just simple fact....I had a choice. I thought of women in my life I knew, some that had lost husbands or children; and who they had become after their tragedy. Those who were pretty awesome people, the kind of people you want to be around; they had chosen to believe that this wasn't the end. Other's who had chosen a different path, were full of anger and sadness.

So I chose to believe. In my heart that night, I thought "Even if I never feel the spirit whispering comfort again, I will choose to believe. I choose to believe that I will hold my son in my arms again". Nothing magnificent happened in that moment, but I had solidified myself in the thought that BELIEVING was the only way. No, nothing magnificent in that moment.....but that wasn't the end. Magnificent moments have come since. The first, being a couple days after the hospital room, in fact. And several more since.

There is life after death. I promise.

What does this have to do with current events? The fact that over the years I have had this same lesson taught to me over and over again, in different circumstances. Life is a lot of CHOICE. And currently I could be persuaded by lost souls preaching the teachings of an immoral society, or I could hold fast to the knowledge that I have. Every day....making the choice to believe. This isn't the end. Things all around us will continue to develop and continue to try our faith. New discoveries, society pushing us to change our values....those things will continue. But we can keep choosing, too.

I wondered why hasn't Heavenly Father given us more physical evidences of his existence? And the thought came to me "He has. Satan is the master deceiver. Manipulating truth till it resembles itself, but is no longer truth." History is written by winners or the loudest talkers, not necessarily by truth. So it is, that we have a choice. Every day. Choose to believe one side or the other. There are no perfect people here, I am certainly not.

 But there is a perfect faith. There is a loving Heavenly Father. There is a savior, Jesus Christ. I love my Church and it's time for me stand up and say it. That people in this world may know at least where I stand. I stand with Faith. I stand with Family. I choose to believe.

Aunt Jessica's Christmas Photographs

Jessica speaking:

Barrett's parents got him some pretty cool superhero apparel:

I love the above picture so much because it is pure joy, but you have to love his cheesy grin picture too...

 And of course. Evelyn. She is one cute girl! And to make her even more fun she has learned to smile recently.

The McAvoy/Larsen grandkids received a fun kid car for Christmas from Mommom and Papa McAvoy. Evelyn is still too little to enjoy, but the older boys LOVED it. Barrett was very tentative the first day and refused to drive, but what Barrett lacked in enthusiasm, Sawyer made up for in laughter.

Today Barrett decided that it was finally his turn to drive, and boy did he get into it. The Larsen boys seemed to be better at handling the vehicle. In fact, Barrett would only drive the car in large oval patterns like a race car track. The car skills are apparently biological. It may also help that their Dad watches car shows. Doesn't Barrett look like the Stig from Top Gear, or at least a NASCAR driver?

They both had a need for speed, and Barrett had lots of fun driving Lukey around his made up car track.

An Ode to Tiera and Scott...

Jessica speaking:

Sawyer, Barrett, Evelyn and parents got to go up to UT for Christmas, and they brought back many amazing presents from loving family members. However, this post is dedicated to one present in particular. It brought us much joy and laughter today.

 The STOMP ROCKET:

Notice the line for the launcher :)

Sawyer's technique was particularly amusing. Double, jumping foot stomp!

And finally the most amusing part of the new toy...pay attention to the shadows on the ground.

Michelle's favorite part was the noise the rocket makes when it hit Kevin in the face. My favorite part is Barrett trying to kick a football at him and then hitting his rocket. Way to kick a man while he is down.  Love those boys!
And to conclude: Scott and Tiera thank you for the present. We love you, we are grateful for you and for it.

Evelyn May is here!!

Baby sister arrived and she has a name!!! Evelyn May was 6lbs 10 oz. Smallest baby I've ever had, and I carried her longest....explain that one.

 A week before delivery

And these are the other 2 stars of the show. Our nurse Beth and Evelyn....Why is Beth one of the stars.....funny you should ask.

I had wanted to try and do it naturally. I was able to do so with Bear, and our insurance sucks rocks. So I thought hey if I can do this naturally then we could save several hundred bucks. They started the induction and after 1hour and 50 minutes I was done. I asked Beth to check me and she said I was a 6. A 6!!!!!(I was a 6 when I walked into the hospital with Bear).  Yeah right.  I requested an epidural. and Beth told me that she had to pump me with some fluids for 10 minutes before they could give me the epidural.......10 min later Beth comes in and Jaron askes her to check me again. I'm 7.5 to 8 cm now. I don't care, I'll take that epidural please. I ask how much longer and she tells me he's right outside the door. Now we will move to dialogue

Beth: Are you having any pushing pains?
Me: No just some really bad contractions
Beth: Okay swing you legs over the side of the bed, and you Jaron grab the stool and slide over here
(i swing my legs over)
Me: Uuuhhh UUUhhhhh I'm having pushing pains. UUUUHHHH UUUHHHH
(Anestiologist walks is)
Me: UUUHHH UUHHHH SHE'S COMING!!!!!
(i lay down on my side just as her head pops out)
Beth (to anesthologist): Grab that table!!
Anesthologist: Uh.....uh.......what table? (Anesthologist exists)
Beth presses the call button
Beth: I need some help in here. I have a precipitous birth.
Help lady: Should i call the Dr?
Beth: Um yes. Call the dr.

A couple seconds later we had about 7 nurses walk in the room and scoop Evelyn up (there was merconium in the water, so the plan was to have a newborn unit there prior to the birth to make sure she didn't breath any in). Don't worry she's fine. No inhalation of the merconium. So Beth delivered the baby and the Dr arrived about 5 minutes later. He said that they should have called him when i hit an 8, and I told him that I went from a 6 to delivery in 10 min. He nodded his head and said "That's true. I would't have made here even if I was down the hall". So that was a lot of fun. Jaron said I need to stop trying to out do myself with birthing our children.

She is soooooo little. You would think there's not a big difference between a 7lb baby and 6lb baby. BUT THERE IS!!!!!! She is so dang itty bitty it's adorable!!! Case and point, NONE of her headbands come close to fitting her tiny head. Look at that flower!!! It's the size of her head!!! LOVE IT!!!

 We are fearful for Evelyn whenever Bear comes around, he loves her too much. And when Bear get's excited he gets kind of aggressive....not something you want with a newborn

When Sawyer saw her for the first time all he could do was giggle. I wish we had gotten that on camera. It was so cute. The look on his face was priceless. "That's my baby sister! hehehehehehe Baby sister came out of your belly. heheheheheheh." Sooooo cute.

They both love to hold her. I've got more pictures on my phone if I can figure out how to load them on my computer. Several pictures of the boys holding Evelyn. We just love her so much!!!!! Glad you picked our family EVEIE!!!!!

Salt, Pepper, and Jesus

What could the three of those things have in common. I am so excited you asked!!!!

I substituted with Jaron in his primary class (kid sunday school). We were talking about Easter and how Jesus died and such. We got to the part in the lesson where the women came to the tomb to put spices and oils on Jesus' body.

Jaron: Do you guys know what spices are?
(unanimous "no" head shake from the class)
Jaron: Spices are like Salt and Pepper

That's when I saw this one particularly active young boy pause, still as can be in his seat, and look at Jaron with a face that said "What? They put Salt and pepper on Jesus? My whole world has just been rocker"

I burst into laughter and then explained that they didn't put Salt and pepper on Jesus, they used other spices like frankincense and Mur. So fun. Jaron is pretty sure that, that was all he took away from the lesson. Nothing like confusing the rising generation!!!! ( p.s Jaron is seriously the best primary teacher. He is so awesome with the kids. And so dang funny!!!!)

Boys will be boys....... especially mine

This was like in January. The big boys in my family decided it would be fun for the little boys to jump in a pile of leaves. I think we did this for about 3 hours. They loved it......But not at first if your first name started with a B.

See what I mean? He needs time to warm up to things. But by the end he was jumping in just as deep as everyone else.

The big boys also thought it would be fun to bury themselves in leaves and jump out when the little boys weren't expecting it. And being the mother, I also thought it was quite hilarious.

My boys love mud. I mean they LOVE mud. It rained for a couple days here and my Dad's backyard develops these lovely mud pots that the boys can't resist.

Oh my B!!!!

And obviously a large mud hole is the perfect place to play with trucks!! (AHHH! Can you guys see that handprint on B sleeve (the pic below)? S thought that was a great time. Putting hand prints on B)

Now i know that S looks super clean compared to B, but S also noticed that.....and quickly remedied the situation. I didn't get a picture of it, but S started taking handfuls of mud and smearing it on his shirt. NICE

Mopars at the Strip. Always a good time. EVEN IF IT WAS FREEZING!!!!

This picture made me crack up laughing. I asked S to say cheese with his Aunt E and Uncle T. He did.....and then right as I snapped the picture he morphed into this........what is that...rebel with out a cause.....barf......rock start gone mad??? Not sure but it was hilarious in my opinion.

And I learned something else at Mopars at the Strip. B is secretly trying to kill me. Seriously, he's trying to kill me with natural causes, like a heart attack or a stroke; something that can't be traced back to him. Gotta watch my back with that one.....never know......I just never know. ( He disappeared at one of the Casinos for 5 minutes. Can we all say HEART ATTACK???? Um....yes.)

Cat's out of the bag......

It was suppose to be this great big huge surprise....but......my dearest little brother struggles with secret keeping. (KEVIN!!!!!) Alas, surprise!!!! Baby #4....headed our way. (hahaha get it? :)