Sad Day

I woke up sad today. Holding my tummy and wishing so badly that there was still a baby inside of me. Yesterday was the second time I had to stare at a blank ultrasound screen. And let me tell you it was anything but happy and fun-the way a normal ultrasound should be. We were due 11/11/11 too good to be true, right? 7 1/2 must be our UNlucky number. That's how far along we were last time, too. My tummy, my back, my hips, and my legs have been aching. But mostly my heart. It doesn't matter how long a baby is in your tummy for because you love them the instant you know they are there. You wonder if you can love them like your other baby (if you are lucky enough to have one) you wonder what he or she will look like and if he or she will be a he or a she. You wonder what kind of personality they will have and what you will name them and a zillion other things. And sometimes, if you've had a miscarriage before, you wonder how long you will get to keep them.

Because Kate is now sandwiched between two miscarriages I realize now more then ever what a miracle she truly is. She is my joy and I feel blessed beyond measure that we got to keep her. She is the reason I am alive, to bring that sweet little life into the world. And hopefully, at least 3 others just like her. Someday.

On Sunday, the day we were for sure that we had lost our baby, Tim took Kate for a walk and I sat at home and read and cried. I was reading one of my friend Natalie's favorite websites and found THIS article. I really liked the 8th paragraph (it's not letting me paste it on my blog for some reason) but you really should read the whole thing. I also really liked THIS article. I love how she describes our loved ones prayers for us as "celestial meteor showers of love and hope" I want to thank you for your prayers for us. I know they reach Heaven and I know you are saying them because I have felt them.

Here is a little smile to end on because every post needs a picture. Lately Kate covers her mouth when she laughs (and occasionally when she cries) and it is THE cutest thing EVER!

Happy Day! #27

While I was giving Kate her bath, Tim's brother Jeremy started playing the piano. It made my heart sing! I LOVE listening to piano music! I didn't want the music to stop. So when it did, I kept telling him to play more and more. I was sort of a piano nazi-sorry Jeremy! :) Tim was too busy playing the Wii with grandpa so poor Jeremy kept having to play :) His sister Michelle played, too. It was so heavnly! Yep, piano music makes me happy! Thanks Jeremy & Michelle!

Happy Day! #26

I got to go to the Temple today. Tim's sister Rachael went through the Temple for the first time today (her wedding is on Tuesday). She went through the Logan Temple. It was so fun to be there with her! It was such a special day. It brought back so many special memories of the first time I went through the Temple (Manti is the fisrt temple I went through in case you are wondering :)). I can't remember the last time I was able to do an endowment session (it's hard living 3 hrs. away and having a nursing baby :( ...we have been able to do sealings a few times at least) so it was extra special for that reason as well. I LOVE the Temple and am so happy I was able to go! What a special day!

Happy Day! #25

I got to meet someone today that I've been wanting to meet for quite a while now. It was SO FUN and made me SO HAPPY!

Happy Day! #24

I got to see my whole family today! It was a happy day together! I'm so happy I get to be with them forever!

I love this picture of us! We all (well, not Landon & Emi so much:)) look so happy!

Happy Day! #23

We traveled to Utah yesterday. We had a layover so I read some of your blogs. I didn't get a chance to write my happy post (I got a little carried away reading one particular blog :) Anyway, WE GOT A PIANO YESTERDAY!!! We have been wanting one for a long time. Since the day we left my Grandparent's basement, moved here & discovered Tim no longer had a piano to play close by. One day, a lady from our ward sent out an e-mail saying that she was getting rid of her piano FOR FREE! It was too good to be true! We were so excited! I called as soon as I read her e-mail. She said, "oh, Greg Bean is here picking it up right now" WHAT? Well, the Bean's are moving today and don't want to take it with. So, since we were next in line, and they are such nice people, they gave it to us! We are THRILLED to get a piano...but we are heartbroken that the Beans are moving. We would rather have them stay, and not have a piano. But since we can't make them stay, at least we got a piano out of the deal. Always a silver lining!

WE WILL MISS YOU BEAN FAMILY!!! Thank you for the piano! We will think of you whenever Tim plays it! :) )

Happy Day! #22

Creating things makes me SO HAPPY! I love this talk by President Uchtdorf. Especially "the work of creation" section (you have to scroll down a ways). Since today is the first day of March, I decided to show all of the things I have created in February.

Here is the "secret surprise" I sent for Love day to Kate's cousins and Grandparents! They were SO fun to make! I sent them exactly as you see them (the addresses are on back :)). They just send them by weight. I got the idea from Tim's sister. Aren't they so fun? I forgot to take a picture of the Grandparent ones :(

I made Kate's Love day shirt. Well, I just added the little embellishments to the collar :)

This one's blurry, sorry! She wouldn't sit still! (I made that flower in her hair a while ago)

Cute toes! And I LOVE these pants!

Welcome to my house! Yes, my front door is green and I LOVE it! I used my creative genius and used up a bunch of my random ribbon collection (if you haven't noticed, I hoard ribbon!) to make this loverly wreath!

My Momma made the LOVE banner (I added the ribbon craziness on the ends), my little sister Mand & I made that "I Love You" heart a LONG time ago (I just added the bow), and I got the cutie mailbox from Target for $1 (i saw a blog where they modpodged cute Love day paper on it-SO cute!...a craft for next year!)

I got the "I 'heart' U" vases from Target and made the puff flowers using $1 store tissue paper

The two in front really are Red (left) & HOT pink (right), but it's hard to tell in the pix :(

I made these cutie candle vases for a little center piece (I made that table cloth a few years ago)

My mom (& Dad?) made this bookshelf for my classroom my first year of teaching. When I changed jobs (became a momma:)) I brought it home for Kate. I put all of her Love books &/or books that are RED on it this month for LOVE month :) We LOVE these books!!!

I painted that heart a few years ago with Mand & Lind.

I modpodged a $1 frame from Michael's using left over ribbon from my wreath and some scrapbook paper.

We have these awesome windows above some of the doors in our house (called transoms :)) that I'm sure were for circulation purposes back in the day (it's a VERY old house!) They are so fun!

Kate LOVES to pull the hearts off of this mirror and carry them around everywhere...which is why there aren't as many at the bottom!
Sorry, that was a TON! Hope you had a HAPPY first day of March!