[1]. introduce yourself and convince us how smart you are, i.e. your current field of philosophical research, the precise of your doctoral dissertation, which degrees you're holding, etc. (but don't just list a bunch of dead philosophers' names because that doesn't prove anything)
[2]. post a minimum of 3 pictures behind a cut tag showing off how hot you are (preferably with your favorite philosophy text in hand!). you must be 18 or over to post pictures in this community.
[3]. wait to be accepted or rejected.
disclaimer: none of this is, obviously, to be taken seriously. now pose and philosophise!