Judging by the evidence I've certainly got a gob

Anne Hedonia doesn't really look like Woody Allen - she just enjoys dating her adopted children (OH so very kidding). There is a connection between Anne's name and Woody, though, which very few people guess.


Anne lives in Los Angeles and, according to standards there, is only a female in the strict anatomical sense of the word. To be truly considered a woman, she would have to lose the weight of a small Laotian village and then have said poundage implanted into her lips. Without this bit of "upkeep", she finds herself sadly ostracized by those hipsters at Sky Bar.


She makes her living by inflicting imaginary pain on fictional characters, and (hopefully) real psychological pain on the censors in charge of them. Her baffled, beleaguered agents beg her repeatedly to just sit down and write some sitcom specs, so that she can get a real job in TV. Anne listens carefully, nods a lot, and then goes home and writes another story about Spike boinking Buffy.


She once - quite inexplicably - gave up eating sugar, caffeine, processed flour and dairy, the main result of which was that life seemed unpleasantly more real. Her hobbies include sleeping. She sings in a band, which has gotten lost and has abandoned various members in some of the greatest cities in the world. They'd like to go on tour again, but they're mostly afraid.


Her most recent accomplishment was using up her first industrial-sized box of Q-Tips. She is currently working on the world`s longest film, starring herself, transcripted from nightly (and daily) screenings on the insides of her eyelids.

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