autohaptic (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
autohaptic) wrote2009-06-05 02:36 am
autohaptic) wrote2009-06-05 02:36 am
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I suspect this is my most oft-used icon
I think today just must be my "read things on the internet and go FFFFFFFFFFFFFF at them" day.
The first today was this, from a college sex tips website, when saying what to do to give good handjobs: A good handjob should leave your man glowing in a state of relaxed post-ejaculatory bliss. And it will also leave a mess, gobs of jism, lube, and pubic hair. Keep a hot, wet towel at the ready, or at least a tissue, to clean up afterwards. Nothing will ruin his good mood more than having to deal with the aftermath himself.
Yes, because he shouldn't have to deal with his aftermath. The same way he should feel no need to push his tongue between a woman's labia for longer than a minute, if at all, because clearly plowing the field is the important fucking part.
I mean, really, can your advice really get more misogynistic than that? I suspect not, without adding "and let him smack you across the face and tell you get back to the kitchen."
He couldn't use those wet towels or tissues himself, could he? No? I didn't fucking think so.
And the next is from my favoritest advice columnist ever, Dan Savage: Using drugs is something you do, DRUGS, it's not something you are.
And I REALLY, REALLY wanted to write in and say, Actually, no. It IS something you do just as much as it is something you are, for many people. And by that I mean to say that "drug user" is no less a valid identity than "faggot" because whatever it was that made you start hitting on men (genetic predisposition? childhood issues? desire to get laid?) also made that poor cokehead go do drugs. So fuck you, Dan.
Naturally I promptly spent the rest of the night reading back columns from 2007, which is why I'm awake at all at 2:30 am.
The latest, from Star Trek fans discussing the recent movie: I want more explanations, though... like when this alternate timeline "started."
.... WHAT THE HELL DIDN'T THEY EXPLAIN THAT PRETTY EXPLICITLY IN THE MOVIE? ABOUT THE THROUGH THE WORMHOLE THING? AND HOW THAT WAS NO DOUBT WHAT THREW THINGS OFF? BECAUSE THEN THE KELVIN CAME ACROSS--
You know what? Not worth it. You're raging incoherently because you're tired. Just go to bed, Auto.
Okay.
The first today was this, from a college sex tips website, when saying what to do to give good handjobs: A good handjob should leave your man glowing in a state of relaxed post-ejaculatory bliss. And it will also leave a mess, gobs of jism, lube, and pubic hair. Keep a hot, wet towel at the ready, or at least a tissue, to clean up afterwards. Nothing will ruin his good mood more than having to deal with the aftermath himself.
Yes, because he shouldn't have to deal with his aftermath. The same way he should feel no need to push his tongue between a woman's labia for longer than a minute, if at all, because clearly plowing the field is the important fucking part.
I mean, really, can your advice really get more misogynistic than that? I suspect not, without adding "and let him smack you across the face and tell you get back to the kitchen."
He couldn't use those wet towels or tissues himself, could he? No? I didn't fucking think so.
And the next is from my favoritest advice columnist ever, Dan Savage: Using drugs is something you do, DRUGS, it's not something you are.
And I REALLY, REALLY wanted to write in and say, Actually, no. It IS something you do just as much as it is something you are, for many people. And by that I mean to say that "drug user" is no less a valid identity than "faggot" because whatever it was that made you start hitting on men (genetic predisposition? childhood issues? desire to get laid?) also made that poor cokehead go do drugs. So fuck you, Dan.
Naturally I promptly spent the rest of the night reading back columns from 2007, which is why I'm awake at all at 2:30 am.
The latest, from Star Trek fans discussing the recent movie: I want more explanations, though... like when this alternate timeline "started."
.... WHAT THE HELL DIDN'T THEY EXPLAIN THAT PRETTY EXPLICITLY IN THE MOVIE? ABOUT THE THROUGH THE WORMHOLE THING? AND HOW THAT WAS NO DOUBT WHAT THREW THINGS OFF? BECAUSE THEN THE KELVIN CAME ACROSS--
You know what? Not worth it. You're raging incoherently because you're tired. Just go to bed, Auto.
Okay.
