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| 11:02am 13/11/2005 |
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know who doesnt like free expression? Harold Rex Tyranus, thats who!
wanna do something about it?
join  bringharolddown |
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| Love and Hate 10/10/2003 |
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| 10:42pm 18/07/2005 |
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There is a pain in my heart,
As if I was struck by a dart.
I feel betrayed and hurt,
Offensive words I want to blurt.
I just lost the guy of my dream,
To a woman who was only wearing whip cream.
When I look back on that day,
I remember how I think he shall pay.
Would I be satisfied with a gun to his head?
Or make the rest of his life a living dread?
No, I'll think I shall spare him
For I believe that my view right now is grim.
There is hope for love in my future,
However, I don't know how long my heart will be this pure.
I know there is hope for my yet,
But for now I'm going to vent my frustrations on the internet.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~
Tick...TOCK!!!! 10/27/2003 [version 2]
Tick…Tock…
My journey through high school is like a clock.
In a day there are only twenty-four hours
Trying to manage school, family, and a boyfriend? Boy I wish I had super powers.
A clock makes a ticking noise to a certain tempo,
College can be a frightening thing but takes some time to find my own flow.
Sadly time eventually does run out.
However, there are fond memories like being hit by a flying book from Mr. Trout.
As the hands of a clock keep on moving,
I will face my fears of going to college and keep on improving.
The hands of a clock never stop,
Good, because as high school is coming to an end, I can find time to shop!
When I get to college I will remember this,
Procrastination is a major problem so if I don’t change, deadlines I will miss.
For now I will use whatever time I have left,
To make the last of my teenage days worthwhile because then it would be a theft.
Time will tell where I will be,
Because I don’t know but I can’t wait to see.
I follow by my own ticks and tocks.
Like a clock.
[Author's note: I wrote this poem for a scholorship essay. Tell me how you like it. hehe They are welcomed. Thanks for reading.} |
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| Today and Tomorrow 2/15/2003 |
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| 09:48pm 18/07/2005 |
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Today I've made enemies,
Tomorrow I will gain allies.
Today I've failed goals,
Tomorrow I will seize every oppurtunity for redemption.
Today I let my emotions get the best of me,
Tomorrow I will think before I act.
Today I am lost in this so called world,
Tomorrow I will be reborn with a sence of direction.
Today I realize that tomorrow will be a better day,
Tomorrow will be today.
[Editor's note: this was written like a long time ago on paper and so I felt today I should type it down in ths diary. Enjoy!]
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Spiderman is my friend 3/5/2003
I wish I didn't have to lie,
I wish I didn't watch the way you died.
It seemed so long ago you were in my heart.
You were swift, athletic, and yet not that smart.
I felt your pain of being confined to a mundane world,
Our spoken language of love and kindness
has yet to be decyphed.
I remember being there for you when you needed me,
In return, you where there when I was sad and lonely.
You sadly succumbed to life's crushing boulders.
After that I learned that when I'm overwhelmed,
I have a choice to lift some weight off my shoulders.
My love for you is true,
Although you may have lived a life in blue.
YOu are my friend,
And yet I understand that my happyness
with you will never end.
One fish, two fish,
Red fish, blue fish.
Spiderman, my dearest pet fish,
Thankyou for being my wish.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~
The end is near! 4/7/2003
Junior year,
It's end is coming near,
With it are memories of laughters and tears.
It's time to remember about our past,
The times my friends that we had together were
A blast
We had fun just hanging out in the malls,
Also helping each other when one of us falls.
In the end we all know that
we will go our seperate ways,
But when we do, we will remember our high school days.
One more year to go,
What would that feel like?
I don't know.
Dedicated to all the juniors of this year.. and to all of my friends who has ever helped me. Thanks a bunches |
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| More poems |
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| 09:38pm 18/07/2005 |
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I Am 1/15/2003
I am energetic and enthusiastic.
I wonder why M&M’s melt in your mouth and not in your hands.
I hear crinkled candy wrappers fall to the ground as they get consumed.
I see speckles of milk-chocolate stains on my white cotton blouse.
I am energetic and enthusiastic.
I pretend that no one is watching as sneak another piece in my mouth.
I feel relieved that I successfully pilfered the treat from my unsuspected sister and savor
The moment.
I touch the soft delicious treat with the tip of my tongue as the coco melts in my mouth
And not in my hands.
I cry when I reach for sugarcoated confection and there is none left.
I am energetic and enthusiastic.
I understand that if I have too much of a good thing, I will start to get cavities.
I say, “ Willy Wonka is my god and I worship him whenever I can!”
I try to share my wealth of delicacies to others but don’t have the willpower to do it.
I hope that scientists someday have proof that chocolate is good and add it to the major
Food groups.
I am energetic and enthusiastic.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Clock Work 1/15/2003
Tick…Tock…
My mind working like a clock.
Always filled with poignant dreams,
Coming by as gentle flowing streams.
A whimsical fancy,
Uncovering my greatest desires, doubts, and fears.
Sometimes are told to friends who dare to hear.
My intellect is always mesmerized with
Knowledge.
Soon I’ll bring this helpful friend to
College.
My conscious is quick to think,
“Look over there, an elephant is pink!”
While at rest my thoughts never stop.
It’s kind of scary when “stuff” just pop.
Out of nowhere here they come,
I open my arms to give a warm welcome
In this ticking consciousness are,
My views of life,
Love, kindness, war, and strife.
My mind is a working clock.
Tick…Tock…
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
HOMEWORK!!! 2/11/2003
Like weeds in a garden,
Stacks of homewrok never goes away with a
Simple spray.
It begins to consume your time,
Then social life...
Then your entire LIFE!
In your dreams these beasts lurk,
Waiting for the right moment to strike.
When it does,
Your heart immediatly races,
Sweat rolls down your chin,
And your body quivers...
As you suddenly realize that you've forgotten
To finish the beast off.
You panic as time starts to tick,
As you furiously look for the missing assignment.
It seemed as if an eternity has passed,
Your nerves start to ease up
as you slowly take a deep breath.
You feel satisfied that you've accomplished your task,
Although your face grows pale as you notice,
You were half done and the school bell to begin...
JUST RANG!!! |
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| Poetry Parade |
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| 09:26pm 18/07/2005 |
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HERE are some of the poems I made earlier when I was a freshman in high schơol. It was the hardest time of my life. I got emotional and wrote. All of it has bêen kept in it's truest form.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ friends 12/12/2002 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
They are one of the most important ppl in ur lives.
They are one of the same in ur eyes.
They were classmates, asosiates, and were enemies
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~
I am 12/30/ 2000
I AM A WRITER. I write down my thoughts on paper, a computer, a post-it note, or even the wall. I AM CREATIVE. I use my imagination to conquer life’s many challenges and add a little flair to personalize my piece of the world. I AM A SINGER. I can sing in the shower, when I’m alone, or just for fun but I don’t do it in front of everyone. I AM A FAN. I love my friends, I always look up to my family, and I am a veteran of searching for that one true love. I AM A RAVER! I dance with black lights, under disco balls, or without music. I can dance anywhere. I AM NOCTURNAL. I use the first part of my days to eat and energize and at night I party like no other. I AM NICE. No matter how mean people can get I can always give a piece of my kindness to them and convert them into nice people. I AM A SUPER HERO. I help my family by facing evil menacing chores by day, and face my friends at a duel of wits by night.
*~I AM DONE~*
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| Dead. |
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| 02:10pm 02/04/2005 |
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Dead as dead can be. Sad. Simon why did you leave? |
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| What is sexual harassment? |
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| 12:31pm 18/03/2005 |
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I hate being a girl sometimes... but eh... I gotta make do with who I am and what I got and get what I don't have like learn how to say "No." Anyways, back to the entry.
From personal experience, I've had phone sex before and I've been aquainted with the online IM version aka cybering. I don't go out and ASK for it but guys just want me to help them feel erotisized I guess. Everytime I hear a guy on the other line ask me to take off my clothes, I get a knot in my stomach... because I don't want to yet I don't want to be mean to the guy so I lie. Which is a BIG mistake beccause the guy will keep on asking me more... be more persistant. That's one of my weaknesses... but that's not the point of this entry. The point is, "Where does the line of sexual harassment begin and where does it end?"
By now you've already understood that this is sexual harassment from a female's point of view and I'm fully aware that guys can get sexually harassed as well. Obviously, it's easy to take a man to court because he touched a woman's boobs. This is the case because we as a society have seen it before and we know it happens. On the other hand, I don't think it's easy to accuse someone of sexual harassment because he said over the phone, "I want phone sex with you." It could be just me but I believe that if a phone has been tapped, then it's easy to get clear evidence that the guy wants phone sex.
It's also hard to find evidence of verbal sexual harassment in chat rooms because after what's being said... there's no way of saving it unless you have a program that saves conversations automatically. Once that screen is closed... everything will be lost. The only thing left for the woman is a feeling of being violated and powerless.
Why would a woman be in this situation in the first place? Why couldn't she stop the unwanted verbal abuse in the first place? I don't know. I'm just one woman so I can't assume anything just yet. This means that I need to do more research and or this issue hasn't been brought up in the media, newspapers, or anything like that. Well I haven't seen any.
"Damn him... he called me last night just to have phone sex...I was already mad as hell but phone sex on top of that?" |
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| things to consider |
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| 08:38am 03/03/2005 |
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Before reading this, just want to let you guys know, advice is urged but not necessary I gues heh. Also I am bi so yeah you could just ignore point 2 if you want. The reason I bring these things up is to make people be aware that these issues exist and it's up to the person to do whatever they wish they want to do lol. Anyways, yeah I don't get out much heh so I want you guys (a small margin of society) thinks.
1) Women vs. Technology. Technology will definitly win. At ASU we use a lot of technology... well mainly computers. Anyways, I don't think half of my professors who are female know what to do with them or how to put a power presentation on the class screen through the pc. Computer litarate ppl... be computer litarate... yes I will hopefully be taking a computer course next semester. Hmm yes... what ticked me off that caused this rant, Bridget Jones... she spent nearly three hours fiddling with her vcr to record a show for her mom on a video tape. It took my sister a half hour to do it. Yes I know, contractory statement there but she's young and tom boyish... and Bridget...well she's "old" and paranoid.
2) When your an 18 yr. old lesbian, how young is too young to make out with a girl? The thing is... at the age of 18 you've become a college student, so yeah it prolly doesn't matter if you make out with someone 4 to 6 years older than you because I dunno... because both parties are legal. However, if your an 18 yr. old and get caught making out with a 13-15 yr. old is that ok? or just as wrong... like when 18 yr. old males make out with 13-15 yr. olds. I don't understand the rights of lesbians, gays, or bi's in other words.
Personally I think an 18 yr. old lesbian should make out with whoever she'd like only if she has feelings for the girl. Now if she's just doing it for the sexual implications... then i dunno... I guess the point I'm trying to make is, it's up to the lesbian to decide how old your young her partner should be. For me personally, I would strongly date someone who's 2 years younger than me... and may consider someone who's three years younger than me. (No, I'm not a lesbian) What ticked me off this time? A 15 yr. old thought it was kewl that I am bi. Again, I don't know my rights of being bi.
3) When cops bust a drug ring, they break it up of course, and compensate all of the money and drugs. The question is, what do they do with all of that after they've taken it? What ticked me off this time... this woman cop used her instincts (note the happy emotional state from a feminist right after words been typed) to and yeah broke up a drug ring. The reporter was seen located at the house... and was seen saying, "...and here are the drugs" then the camera showed the pile of drugs laying in the backyard. That made me question, how was he allowed to come that close to the crime scene and why haven't the cops removed the drugs from the area yet? hmm... oddness. |
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| A fluctuation in an asian in the american nation |
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| 01:58pm 20/02/2005 |
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One day, an Asian walks into a bank to exchange some money and gives the bank 2000 yen. The banker gives the man $72 in american money. The next day, the asian walks into the bank and gives the same amount of money to the banker, 2000 yen. The banker gives the man $66. The Asian asks, "Why you give me less money?"
The banker answers, "Fluctuations."
To which the asians replies, "Fluck you Amelicans!""
Thoughts: So if someone plays the piano, he is called a pianist but if someone drives a race car, is he called a racist?
Fin |
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| fireflies |
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| 12:38pm 20/02/2005 |
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mood:  distracted
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On my back I am
gazing up at my
popcorn-studded ceiling which
presses upon my chest like
the weight of a lover fucking
me into oblivion while
silent songs drift in
and out of my head the
faded lights of a
long-dead seaside carnival. |
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| Epitaph of a Potato Bread Loaf |
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| 01:55pm 20/02/2005 |
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It held that off-yellow
Like jaundiced flesh
The type no child trusts until they bite-
Tastes the unique flavor
Not so healthful as rye, not so barren as white
Perfect purgatory from terrestrial tubers
The starchy brown flesh
Formed of delicacy -from dust
Covered in bleached flour
Stalks broken -to dust
It sat for a month in my cupboard.
The flesh grew, bulged out to the bags extent
Now a marble blue and green
Like a mini box-shaped globe
Something so devoid of life
Built on bodies of agriculture
Was now alive: teeming,
Like Idaho.
There was beauty in it
The millions of tiny spores reaching out
Technicolor tapestry
Springing still-life
A nature-born Van Gogh
For a while I admired it
Daring not touch, daring not disturb
With tentative fingers I picked up the plastic
Plucked it from my cupboard
I held it there, bathed in the room’s off-yellow light
And I saw its new-ness
I threw it in the dumpster
It was beautiful
But I sure as hell wasn’t going to eat it. |
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| Assignment... |
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| 09:58pm 19/02/2005 |
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I have an assignment for bangkok... ... Everyone, go back to a past entry that they did not reply to. And then, reply to the writing... literature is eternal... so, you can definately do this... and it'd still be cool... and maybe you'll meet some new people in the process...
<3
Here's an update with the 8's:
The List of 8's
Masturb-8
Ovul-8
Concentr-8
Penetr-8
Imit-8
Constern-8
H-8
M-8
D-8
F-8
L-8
B-8
W-8
Sed-8
Bel-8
Crem-8.
Menstru-8.
8.
Pl-8.
Contempl-8
Str-8
8-ball.`
Reb-8
flucu-8
infl-8
sanit-8
oblivi-8
annhil-8
check m-8
sodium nitr-8
castr-8
procrastin-8
postul-8
formul-8
fornic-8
lact-8
triumvir-8
specul-8
S-8
P-8
copul-8
invigor-8
demonstr-8
ennerv-8
procre-8
illumin-8
puls-8
gir-8
kaopect-8
perpetu-8
crem-8
sl-8
tr-8
ab-8
equ-8
Y-8(s)
cre-8
ventil-8
emul-8
intim-8 |
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| Ash had him drive. |
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| 02:41am 19/02/2005 |
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They surfed.
Those librarians studied.
They jogged.
Those store clerks prayed.
I order her a new dress.
They jogged.
Those flight attendants run.
I fought.
I shaved.
Those dentists grant him his wish.
Those news announcers dance.
They fought.
Those taxi drivers drive.
Those taxi drivers read.
That singer handed him a piece of paper.
Ash swims.
Ash danced.
That garbage man dances.
Dick swam.
They show them a photograph.
Joseph danced.
They jump.
They shout.
Ash sings.
Those photographers lent her a lot of money.
copyright ash ponders 2005 |
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| Susanna Caroline Matilda |
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| 02:34am 19/02/2005 |
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There is a purple gull egg in a nest at sea
It radiates chalky murk and perfect nice
I am Mr. Devall, and I love you Sarah
My princess. Talbot won’t keep you.
See it float in the flint and corn tide
It sings suspicious arrows and darling
Eventually I will break through
My princess. And have you again.
copyright ash ponders 2005 |
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| Restaurant Review... that I originally wrote to C.C.... but still. you all should know these places. |
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| 02:09am 19/02/2005 |
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Have you tried?:
1) Nino's Pizza -
I rate this place super high. It's a family owned independent AUTHENTIC Italian place. Everytime I go in, the guy's like... "eh, we're loosing some money... but, hopefully we'll get more business... just don't go to 'Dominos'"... Seriously, though. The pizza is appropriately priced. It's fresh and delicious. It's definately the best pizza that I've had ANYWHERE. and... if you don't like pizza, they have other Italian cuisine. Anyway, go there sometime, yozz.
Location:
Alma School and Warner. It's by target and the $3 cinema. It's in the little strip mall thing.
2) Panchos -
A suprisingly better all-you-can-eat mexican buffet. Regular beffet prices ($5-ish?). It's pretty authentic (they have sopapias... I mean... come on now.)
Location:
Country Club and Southern. It's in the same parking space as Bookman's (which is a plus, because then you can look for used CD's and books...)...
Uhm... that's all I can think of. ... not that those are necessarily suggestions for your dinner plans tonight... but... you know... they're cool places... |
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| Haiku of Courses Part 1 |
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| 10:43am 18/02/2005 |
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ASIAN COMMUNICATION
Lop tieng Viet vui lam!
Minh noi duoc ting Viet rat nhieu
I know vietnamese
Translated it is...
Viet class is very fun,
I can speak a lot of viet.
I know Vietnamese :) |
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