CAPSLOCK COOKING

I JUST MADE SOMETHING THAT'S NOT JUST A CASSEROLE, BUT A TRUE **KICKASSEROLE** AND I'LL EVEN ADD INSTRUCTIONS FOR MAKING VEGGIE/VEGAN FRIENDLY!

•OLIVE OIL/BACON DRIPPINGS
•1/2 TSP MINCED GARLIC
•1 LB GROUND BEEF/VEGGIE CRUMBLES
•1 CAN DICED TOMATOES WITH CHILES
•1 BAG MIXED SOUTHWEST VEGGIES (POBLANO PEPPERS, SWEET CORN, RED PEPPERS, ONIONS, BLACK BEANS) OR SOMETHING SIMILAR
•1 HEAPING TSP CHILE CON CARNE SEASONING (OR SIMILAR)
•2 CUPS SHREDDED CHEDDAR CHEESE/SOY-BASED EQUIVALENT, DIVIDED

PREHEAT OVEN TO 375 F.

IN A PAN, SAUTE THE GARLIC IN OIL/DRIPPINGS UNTIL GOLDEN BROWN, AND SET ASIDE. BROWN THE BEEF/VEGGIE CRUMBLES UNTIL DONE, THEN ADD SEASONING, TOMATOES, FROZEN VEGGIES, AND THE RESERVED GARLIC, COOK OVER LOW UNTIL HEATED THROUGH.

SLICK UP A 9X9 BAKING DISH WITH NON-STICK SPRAY, SPRINKLE ABOUT 1/4 CUP OF THE CHEESE INTO THE BOTTOM, THEN ADD ABOUT HALF OF THE MEAT MIXTURE. COVER THE MIXTURE WITH 3/4 CUP OF CHEESE, THEN TOP WITH A SECOND LAYER OF THE MEAT MIXTURE. COVER WITH REMAINING CUP OF CHEESE.

BAKE FOR 15 MINUTES, THEN KILL THE HEAT AND LET IT SIT IN THE WARM OVEN FOR ANOTHER 5 MINUTES.

TRY NOT TO EAT THE WHOLE DISH OF IT.

X-POSTED TO MY JOURNAL AND cooking SO SORRY

MAKE THIS DISH BECAUSE IT IS STUPID EASY AND DELICIOUS

FANQIE CHAODAN - CHINESE STIR-FRIED EGG AND TOMATOES

3 EGGS
1 LARGE TOMATO OR 2 ROMA TOMATOES, DICED
2-3 STALKS OF GREEN ONION, CHOPPED (OPTIONAL BUT I RECOMMEND IT)
GARLIC (OPTIONAL)
SALT TO TASTE
PEPPER TO TASTE

BEAT THREE EGGS AND SCRAMBLE LIGHTLY. SET ASIDE, ADD A DOLLOP OF CANOLA OIL TO THE PAN AND HEAT (THIS SHOULDN'T TAKE TOO LONG AS THE PAN IS HOT ALREADY). IF USING GARLIC, SAUTEE IT SLIGHTLY TO RELEASE THE AROMA. ADD THE TOMATOES AND GREEN ONIONS, AND COOK 2-3 MINUTES UNTIL THEY HAVE RELEASED THEIR JUICES. SEASON TO TASTE WITH SALT AND PEPPER. ADD BACK THE EGGS AND STIR TO MIX IN THE TOMATOES. YOU CAN ADD A DOLLOP OF SESAME OIL IF SO DESIRED.

EAT IT OVER RICE OR STRAIGHT OUT OF THE PAN.

I HAVE A BIG OL' BOTTLE OF GIN SITTING OUT ON MY COUNTER, STARING AT ME, DARING ME TO DRINK IT, SO I FIGURED I'D TAKE MR. JUNIPER UP ON HIS DARE.

2 OZ GIN (HENDRICK'S, IF YOU HAVE IT)
3 OZ FRESH LEMON JUICE
1/2 OZ HOMEMADE GRENADINE (RECIPE FOLLOWS)
A COUPLE DASHES OF BITTERS (ORANGE BITTERS IF YOU HAVE THEM, OTHERWISE ANGOSTURA BITTERS WORK FINE)

COMBINE ALL INGREDIENTS IN A COCKTAIL SHAKER WITH A WHOLE BUTTSECKS BUTTLOAD OF ICE. SHAKE UNTIL THE SHAKER FROSTS. STRAIN INTO A COCKTAIL GLASS. IT IS A VERY PRETTY COLOR. IF YOU THINK IT'S TOO TART, YOU CAN UP THE GRENADINE TO 3/4 OZ.

IF YOU WANT TO GO ANOTHER WAY, POUR YOUR BOOZE INTO A ROCKS GLASS THAT YOU'VE FILLED WITH CRUSHED ICE AND TOP UP WITH LEMON SELTZER, STIRRING TO COMBINE. OR, FOR MORE BOOZEINESS®, REPLACE 2 OZ OF LEMON JUICE WITH LIMONCELLO, OMIT THE GRENADINE AND BITTERS, AND AFTER SHAKING, POUR OVER THE ICE AND ADD THE LEMON SELTZER. OH YEAH...DANNY DEVITO AND GEORGE CLOONEY WOULD MAINLINE THAT STUFF, IF THEY COULD.

HOMEMADE GRENADINE SOUNDS SCARY, BUT IT'S SUPER EASY...IT JUST TAKES SOME TIME.

GET A 16 OZ BOTTLE OF POMEGRANATE JUICE. DUMP IT IN A POT. BRING TO A BOIL, AND KEEP AT A BOIL UNTIL THE VOLUME REDUCES BY HALF (YOU CAN JUST DIP A SPOON IN IT AND EYEBALL HOW FAR UP THE CURVE IT COMES). WHEN IT'S BOILED DOWN, ADD 1 CUP OF CANE SUGAR, DROP HEAT TO A SIMMER, AND COOK UNTIL THE SUGAR'S DISSOLVED. COOL THE LIQUID AND POUR INTO A SQUIRT BOTTLE LIKE DR. WILSON PROBABLY USES TO PUT PRETTY EDIBLE SQUIGGLES ON HIS PLATES OF DELICIOUS FOOD THAT HOWSE EATS WHEN WILSON'S NOT LOOKING AVAILABLE AT CULINARY STORES, OR POSSIBLY WAL-MART.

HEY, GUYS! I MADE DINNER FOR MY FRIENDS TONIGHT:


MAIN DISH: BLACK-EYED PEAS. THEY WERE EXTREMELY AWESOME AND MY GUESTS DEMANDED THE RECIPE, SO I SCANNED IT. IT'S RIGHT HERE -- GIVE IT A TRY! I'VE ADDED SOME NOTES, BECAUSE THIS COOKBOOK ("GREATEST EVER INDIAN") TENDS TO USE WAY TOO MUCH SALT AND WAY TOO LITTLE OF ALL THE OTHER SPICES. GENERALLY I DOUBLE OR TRIPLE OR QUADRUPLE THEIR RECOMMENDATIONS FOR GARLIC AND GINGER AND OTHER SPICES, AND HALVE THE SALT. I MADE OMELETS FROM A RECIPE IN THIS COOKBOOK AND I COULDN'T EVEN EAT THEM, IT TASTED LIKE THE EGGS WERE HATCHED BY A BIRD MADE ENTIRELY OF SALT IN A SALTY NEST WHICH WAS FED ON DRIED, SALTED WORM JERKY FOR THE FIRST HALF OF ITS LIFE. ANYWAY, OTHER THAN THAT, THIS IS AN AWESOME COOKBOOK.

I ALSO MADE CHICKPEA FLOUR FRIED BREAD...

AND CUCUMBER SALAD, AND THREW SOME FRESH FRUIT ON THE TABLE. WE HAD MINT ICE CREAM AFTERWARDS.

IT WAS A GREAT NIGHT AND ALL OF MY FOOD WAS AMAZING WHICH IS ALWAYS REALLY SATISFYING WHEN YOU'RE HOSTING A DINNER TYPE EVENT! ONLY WARNING -- YOU KNOW, COOKBOOKS AND LYNNE ROSSETTO KASPER ARE NOT LYING TO YOU WHEN THEY SAY YOU OUGHT TO USE GLOVES WHEN YOU'RE HANDLING CHILIS. MY HANDS FELT LIKE YOUR MOUTH DOES WHILE YOU'RE EATING JALAPEÑOS -- FOR ABOUT FOUR HOURS!! I HAD TO KEEP GETTING UP AND RINSING MY HANDS IN COLD WATER OVER AND OVER, AND THEY WERE TURNING REALLY RED! IT WAS A PRETTY INTERESTING EXPERIENCE, BUT NOT ONE I'D CARE TO REPEAT. OH, ALSO, DON'T TOUCH YOUR EYES AFTER YOU'VE WORKED WITH A BUNCH OF CHILIS, GARLIC AND LEMON JUICE. I LEARNED THAT LAST WEEK!

I STARTED WITH A LITTLE OLIVE OIL AND SOME MINCED GARLIC IN A BIG OL' SKILLET. THEN I SAUTEED IT FOR A COUPLE MINUTES AND DUMPED IN ABOUT A HALF-POUND OF PRE-DICED ORANGE, RED, YELLOW AND GREEN BELL PEPPERS AND LET IT COOK FOR A FEW MINUTES.

THEN I SPRINKLED IN VARIOUS ITALIAN SEASONINGS, ESPECIALLY BASIL, AND POURED IN A 32 OZ CAN OF VEGETABLE BROTH AND A 14.5 OUNCE CAN OF PETITE DICED TOMATOES, INCLUDING THE SWEET, SWEET JUICE THEY WERE PACKED IN. ADD SOME FRESH ITALIAN PARSLEY AND BRING TO A BOIL.

THEN ADD A 16 OZ BAG OF WHOLE WHEAT PASTA (I USED RADIATORE, BUT ROTINI WOULD WORK, TOO) AND LET IT SIT FOR 10 MINUTES OVER A SIMMER, STIRRING EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. WHILE THE JUICE IS ABSORBED, YOU COULD ADD HALF A BULB OF JICAMA, IF YOU WANT. OR NOT. JICAMA OPTIONAL.

ONCE THE PASTA'S SOAKED UP ALL THE LIQUID, MIX MAYBE 2 OUNCES OF OLIVE OIL AND AN EQUAL MEASURE OF BALSAMIC VINEGAR, ALONG WITH SOME MUSTARD (PREPARED OR DRIED AND GROUND, EITHER WORKS AS AN EMULSIFIER) PLUS SOME TOMATO POWDER, IF YOU CAN FIND IT, AND POUR IT OVER THE PASTA.

ADD PARMESAN FOR FLAVOR AND TO SOAK UP ANY OTHER LIQUID (OR LEAVE IT OUT IF YOU ROLL WITH THE VEGANS), REFRIGERATE, TOSS AND EAT. YUM.

MAKES A METRIC BUTTLOAD OF PASTA SALAD...GOOD FOR PICNICS OR POTLUCKS.

VARIATIONS: IF YOU DON'T LIKE BELL PEPPERS, YOU COULD USE ASPARAGUS. OR ARTICHOKES. OR OTHER VEGETABLES THAT DON'T BEGIN WITH "A." VIDALIA ONIONS COULD BE TASTY. SO COULD SUN DRIED TOMATOES. ADD PESTO! ADD HUNKS OF POLENTA! IF YOU DON'T WANT VEGETARIAN STUFF, YOU COULD USE CHICKEN BROTH AND ADD DICED CHICKEN. OR ADD DICED PEPPERONI.

THIS RECIPE IS INFINITELY VARIABLE! WEAR IT AS A HAT! APPLY IT AS A POULTICE! IT CURES LUPUS! (THESE CLAIMS NOT VERIFIED BY THE FDA, DO NOT USE TO DIAGNOSE, TREAT OR CURE ANY ILLNESS. DO NOT TAUNT VEGETARIAN PASTA SALAD.)

OK, AT THANKSGIVING THIS YEAR, YOURS TRULY WAS IN CHARGE OF THE BOOZE...SO WE HAD RED WINE, AND VAGUELY FIZZY WHITE WINE, AND RUM DRINKS!

I POSTED THE HOT BUTTERED RUM THE OTHER DAY, BUT HERE'S THE OTHER, MORE UNUSUAL RUM DRINK, STRAIGHT FROM COLONIAL NEW ENGLAND!

RASPBERRY RUM SHRUB!

1 OZ RASPBERRY SHRUB (RECIPE FOLLOWS)
2 TO 2 1/2 OZ GOLDEN RUM
4 OZ GINGER BEER (SOME BRAND LIKE REED'S OR SOMETHING)

MIX ALL INGREDIENTS AND SERVE OVER ICE.

FOR THE SHRUB:
1 CUP WATER
1 CUP SUGAR
2 PINTS RASPBERRIES (FROZEN WORK)
2 CUPS WHITE WINE VINEGAR (YES, VINEGAR!)

WHISK THE WATER AND SUGAR TOGETHER, HEAT AND MIX UNTIL A SIMPLE SYRUP FORMS, AND LIQUID COMES JUST TO A BOIL.
ADD THE BERRIES AND SIMMER FOR 10 MINUTES, THEN ADD THE WHITE WINE VINEGAR AND RETURN TO THE BOIL FOR 2 MINUTES. COOL, STRAIN, AND BOTTLE. STORE IN THE REFRIGERATOR (THE VINEGAR SHOULD KEEP ANY BEASTIES FROM FORMING, BUT WHY RISK IT?)

THE DRINK CAME ABOUT IN COLONIAL TIMES BECAUSE THE VINEGAR ACTED AS A PRESERVATIVE IN THOSE PRE-REFRIGERATION DAYS. I STUMBLED ON A VARIATION OF THIS AS I MADE IT BECAUSE I RAN SHORT ON RASPBERRIES, SO I THREW IN A BAG OF FROZEN BLACKBERRIES, TOO.

THE DRINK ITSELF IS PRETTY AND RED. YOU CAN ALSO MAKE SHRUBS OUT OF STRAWBERRIES, CHERRIES, GINGER, CRANBERRIES...I DARE SAY YOU COULD EVEN MAKE EXOTIC ONES LIKE PINEAPPLE OR SOMETHING CRAZY LIKE THAT.

OK, GO DRINK NOW!

I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU ALL THE RECIPE FOR THE HOT BUTTERED RUM BATTER, AND IT WILL LAST YOU ALL WINTER, MOST LIKELY, UNLESS YOU'RE ALCOHOLICS. OR DRUNKS. BECAUSE IF YOU'RE AN ALCOHOLIC, YOU GO TO MEETINGS. IF YOU'RE A DRUNK, YOU'RE JUST A LUSH WHO LIKES TO DRINK BY THEMSELVES OR WITH SOMEONE.

HOT BUTTERED BUNS RUM

1 POUND BUTTER (I USED SWEET CREAM), SOFTENED
1 POUND BROWN SUGAR
1 POUND POWDERED SUGAR
2 TSP GROUND CINNAMON
2 TSP GROUND NUTMEG
1/4 TSP GROUND ALLSPICE
1 QUART VANILLA ICE CREAM, SOFTENED UNTIL ALMOST MELTED

CREAM TOGETHER THE BUTTER AND SUGAR UNTIL WELL MIXED, THEN ADD THE SPICES. BLEND WELL, THEN MIX IN THE ICE CREAM. FINISHED BATTER WILL BE LUMPY. STORE BATTER IN FREEZER.

TO MAKE YOUR HOT BUTTERED RUM, USE A HEALTHY TABLESPOON FULL OF BATTER, ADD A SHOT OF RUM (1 1/2 TO 2 OZ) AND SLOSH TOGETHER TO COMBINE. TOP UP WITH BOILING WATER, AND GARNISH WTH A BIT OF GROUND NUTMEG.

QUAFF THE FOAMY DELICIOUSNESS

THIS IS ACTUALLY A MODIFIED PAULA DEEN RECIPE THAT I'VE BEEN PLAYING AROUND WITH.

INGREDIENTS:
1 OR 2 STRIPS THICK-CUT BACON
1 LB GROUND MEAT OF YOUR CHOICE (I TYPICALLY USE TURKEY OR LEAN BEEF)
1 CAN CAMPBELLS FRENCH ONION SOUP (JUST THE CONDENSED SOUP, NO ADDED WATER)
1 CAN DICED TOMATOES, WITH LIQUID
1 CAN KIDNEY OR PINTO BEANS, DRAINED.
1 SMALL ONION, DICED
1/2 CUP SALSA (I USE PACE)
1 TABLESPOON TABASCO SAUCE
1 TEASPOON CAYENNE OR RED PEPPER
1 TEASPOON CHILI POWDER
SALT TO TASTE

DIRECTIONS: CHOP BACON AND FRY PIECES IN A LARGE SKILLET. ADD GROUND MEAT AND BROWN. YOU MIGHT WANT TO DRAIN IT IF IT'S NOT LEAN, BUT IF IT IS, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

THEN THROW IN THE REST OF THE INGREDIENTS (I START WITH THE SOUP FIRST, THEN THE BEANS AND TOMATOES, THEN THE SALSA AND ONION, THEN THE SPICES) AND STIR UNTIL COMBINED. OF COURSE YOU CAN USE LESS OR MORE SPICES DEPENDING ON HOW HOT YOU LIKE YOUR CHILI. ALSO, A LOT OF TEXANS DON'T LIKE THE BEANS OR THE TOMATOES IN THEIR CHILI, BUT I'M A MUTANT AND I LIKE THEM. YOU CAN OMIT THEM TOO IF YOU DON'T.

BRING TO A BOIL, THEN REDUCE HEAT TO "LOW" AND SIMMER FOR 40-45 MINUTES, STIRRING OCCASIONALLY.

THAT'S PRETTY MUCH IT. ENJOY.

OKAY GUYS SIT BACK AND PUT YOUR EATING GLASSES ON BECAUSE I AM GOING TO TELL YOU ABOUT SOMETHING DELICIOUS! IT IS CALLED SAMBUSAK B'TAWA, OR, IRAQI CHICKPEA TURNOVERS. I GOT THE RECIPE OUT OF OLIVE TREES AND HONEY.

INGREEDAMENTS

* FILLING
2 CUPS COOKED MASHED CHICKPEAS (GARBANZO BEANS) (SIX OR EIGHT OUNCES DRY, JUST GUESS)
ONE LARGE ONION
SESAME OR VEGETABLE OIL (SESAME OIL WOULD PROBABLY TASTE GOOD BUT I USED CORN OIL BECAUSE SESAME OIL SEEMS TO THINK IT IS MADE OUT OF CAVIAR AND HUMVEES AND HAS THE RIGHT TO COST A MILLION DOLLARS)
1/2 TSP (OR MORE) TURMERIC
1/2 TSP (OR MORE) CUMIN
1/2 TSP OR SO SALT
BLACK PEPPER TO TASTE
1/4 CUP FRESH CHOPPED CILANTRO (OPTIONAL)

* OIL DOUGH
1/2 CUP VEGETABLE OIL
1/2 CUP LUKEWARM WATER (80-90 DEGREES)
3/4 TSP SALT
2 1/2 CUPS FLOUR

* OTHER
PAM FOR GREASIN'
1 EGG MIXED WITH 1 TSP WATER FOR GLAZIN'
SESAME SEEDS FOR SPRINKLIN' (OPTIONAL BUT DELICIOUS AND PRETTY)

OK SO THIS IS HOW WE DO!

FILLING: YOU HAVE TO SOAK THE CHICKPEAS FOR SIX OR EIGHT HOURS BEFOREHAND SO IT'S BEST TO DO THAT THE NIGHT BEFORE OR WHILE YOU'RE AT WORK OR WHATEVER ALL DAY. DO THAT AND THEN BRING THEM TO A BOIL IN A POT, THEN REDUCE HEAT TO LOW, AND SIMMER FOR 1-1/2 HOURS (I KNOW IT TAKES FOREVER BUT IT IS WORTH IT). THEN DRAIN AND MASH 'EM UP.

WHILE YOU'RE WORKING ON THAT YOU CAN TAKE YOUR ONION AND SAUTEE IT IN THE OIL UNTIL IT'S SOFT AND TRANSLUCENT. WHEN THAT HAPPENS, ADD THE TURMERIC, CUMIN, SALT, AND PEPPER, AND STIR. THEN ADD THE CHICKPEAS, AND COOK THE MIXTURE UNTIL IT'S PRETTY MUCH DRY. I KNOW IT SOUNDS WEIRD BUT IT MAKES PUTTING THE FILLING IN THE CRUST EASY! WHEN THAT'S ALL DONE TURN OFF THE HEAT AND STIR IN THE CILANTRO IF YOU'RE USING IT. LET IT COOL OFF. ( IT WILL LOOK LIKE THISCollapse )
DOUGH: IT'S SO EASY! STIR THE OIL, WATER, AND SALT TOGETHER. ADD A CUP OF THE FLOUR. THEN KEEP ADDING THE FLOUR UNTIL THE DOUGH LOOKS RIGHT. IT SHOULD BE PRETTY SOFT AND COME AWAY FROM THE SIDES OF THE BOWL, IT SHOULD BE VERY WELL-BEHAVED AND DO WHAT YOU TELL IT INSTEAD OF STICKING TO EVERYTHING. WHEN THAT HAPPENS COVER IT UP WITH PLASTIC WRAP AND LET IT SIT AT ROOM TEMPERATURE FOR 30 MIN. THEN, ROLL IT OUT ON A FLOURED SURFACE AND CUT OUT CIRCLES WITH A MUFFIN TIN OR A DRINKING GLASS. PUT THE DOUGH CIRCLES ON LIGHTLY GREASED COOKIE SHEETS. ( THEY WILL LOOK LIKE THISCollapse )

PUT IT ALL TOGETHER
PREHEAT OVEN TO 375 DEGREES. PUT A HEAPING TEASPOON OF THE FILLING ON EACH OF THE DOUGH CIRCLES, FOLD OVER AND PINCH THE EDGES OFF, CRIMP THEM WITH A FORK IF YOU WANT TO MAKE 'EM LOOK NICE. SPREAD THE EGG/WATER MIXTURE OVER THEM WITH A BRUSH AND THEN SPRINKLE ON THE SESAME SEEDS. ( THEN THEY'LL LOOK LIKE THIS!Collapse )

NOW JUST BAKE AS MANY AS YOU AND WHOEVER ELSE YOU'RE BAKING FOR THINK YOU WANT TO EAT, AND FREEZE THE REST! THEY'LL STAY GOOD FOR 3 MONTHS IN THE FREEZER. BAKING TIME: FRESH, 15-20 MINUTES, FROZEN: MORE LIKE 25ISH, JUST KEEP CHECKING AND BAKE UNTIL THEY LOOK LIKE ( THIS! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMCollapse )

LOL THAT WAS REALLY TL;DR BUT I SWEAR IT'S WORTH IT, THEY ARE SO LIGHT AND DELICIOUS AND FILLING! ENJOY!

FOR LATE CINCO DE MAYO (LOL...SIX...DE MAYO?) HERE IS A REALLY EASY AND QUICK TORTILLA SOUP RECIPE:

INGREDIENTS
1 CAN CAMPBELL'S CONDENSED TOMATO SOUP
1 AVOCADO
SHREDDED CHEDDAR CHEESE (AS MUCH AS YOU WANT)
TORTILLA CHIPS
FRESH CILANTRO
CHOPPED GREEN ONIONS (OPTIONAL)

SLICE UP THE AVOCADO AND MAKE YOUR TOMATO SOUP AS YOU NORMALLY WOULD. ADD AVOCADO, SHREDDED CHEDDAR CHEESE AND CRUSHED TORTILLA CHIPS. TOP WITH SOME CILANTRO, AND GREEN ONIONS IF YOU HAVE THEM. THIS LITERALLY TAKES FIVE MINUTES TO MAKE AND IT TASTES GOOD. MMM-MMMM, COOKING FROM A CAN.

I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING WHEN I SAY THAT I ACTUALLY HAD TORTILLA SOUP LIKE THIS AT A MEXICAN RESTAURANT IN SAN DIEGO.