CATS

Hey, if you live in NYC, I dropped off the list of Starkisms at the Midtown Comics at 40th & 7th.

PS- Despite his reputation as a functioning alcoholic, Tony Stark can't do a keg stand to save his life. Discuss...

...and by "chicks" I mean Civil War artist Steve McNiven [applause]. I met him at Comic Con. While we wouldn't let me take a picture with the list, he appreciated it and said laughed heartilly.

So tell your friends. Get them to join this group and start the revolution!...or not. But hopefully yes!

Okay.  It seems to me that, especially after Civil War, everybody has been beating up Tony Stark.  And winning.  I've decided to make a comprehensive list of people who have handed Tony Stark his ass.  Repeatedly.  And yeah, I know there are just three.  We can come up with more though, right?

LIST OF STARK BEATINGS AFTER CIVIL WAR
Peter Parker (sometime during One Day More)
Thor (Thor #3)
Namor (Sub-Mariner #2)
Hulk (The Initiative)
Alcohol (constantly)
Ms. Marvel (#15?)

Hey you guys (and girls), I'm pondering a sit-in at Stark Industries sometime in the not-too-distant future. We can all show up with signs, maybe a blanket or 2. Let make it a "thing", ok guys (and girls)?

This is about  showing the administration how we feel, man. If this goes well, maybe we can track down the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier. Who knows where it could go?

Time and place: TBD
-No Skrulls, please
-seriously you guys, no MGH. We don't want this to turn violent
-bring your spiritually and sense of right or we WILL retcon you.

Citizens Against Tony Stark (C.A.T.S.)*

We, the members of C.A.T.S. think Anthony Edward Stark has lost his way. While his monthly comic is entertaining and the trailer for his upcoming bio-pic looks like tons of fun, we are not fooled by his actions immediately before, during, and after the Civil War. We have before you a list of Mr. Stark’s various offences and crimes against humanity. C.A.T.S. feels the public deserves to know the truth about this Omega-Level a-hole. May Uatu have mercy on his soul.

TONY STARK: NOT A SKRULL, JUST A SCHMUCK!

-Tony Stark built a Starbucks in the Savage Land
-Tony Stark has illegitimate children running all over Madripoor
-X-Men 3 brought Tony Stark to tears…but not like it brought the rest of us to tears…
-Tony Stark loves Sarah Marshall
-Tony Stark believes in life after love.
-Tony Stark was the inspiration for both "Magic Man" and "Brick" by Ben Folds Five. Both stories are equally painful, but the former is more hilarious.
-If he could have, Tony Stark would have voted against Stephen Colbert.
-Tony Stark thinks that many things age like a fine wine: Hilary Clinton. Bagels. "You Might Be A Redneck" jokes.
-Tony Stark bathes wrapped in an eel pelt. This is not an insult, it just bears repeating.
-…Continuing from there: Tony Stark's bathroom smells weird.
-Tony Stark is the third cousin of Leeroy Jenkins
-Tony Stark routinely ruins movies with cries of "Yeah, right! Like THAT could really happen." He called Star Wars: A New Hope "two hours of rampant trickery and weird haircuts," and The Shining’s "not at all what it's like to be stuck in a cabin for months at a time, there's totally more blood." He called Orson Welles’ Citizen Kane "Insanely plausible...except for that crap about the zoo."
-Tony Stark eats Fritos while drinking Mountain Dew, which is just gross, even by human standards.
-Tony Stark has paid Jarvis $2.38/hour since 1964.
-Tony Stark was responsible for World War Hulk. ....oh wait...
-Tony Stark vetoed a bill that would require S.H.I.E.L.D. to use hybrid hover-cruisers.
-When Mary Jane rejected his advances, Tony Stark pitched the idea for “One More Day.”
-Tony Stark cloned Thor to gain the popular votes in the Evangelical primary states.
-Tony Stark doesn't sleep; he reboots.
-Tony Stark thought Zoe was too good for Wash, anyway.
-Tony Stark's pharmaceutical buddies found it cheaper to let Aunt May die. When Michael Moore tried to make a film about it, he was blasted by a repulser ray.
-Tony Stark is responsible for Squirrel Girl.
-Tony Stark would deny Chuck Norris social security, Jack Bauer Medicare and vet treatment, and Mr. T his “bling privileges.”
-Tony Stark doesn't pay taxes; he out-sources them to Peter Parker's college loans.
-Tony Stark re-arranged Matt Murdock's furniture while he was in jail. Murdock has yet to find love.
-Dr. Strange is under contract to cure Tony Stark of his alcoholism…I’m sorry, Mr. Banner. Come back if your movie tanks.
-Tony Stark has a timeshare in Latveria
-Prior to the disassembling of the Avengers, Tony Stark replaced the Scarlet Witch’s Prozac with placebos.
-At Ben Parker's funeral, Tony Stark got drunk and hit on Aunt May.
-Tony Stark rolls on Shabbos
-Tony Stark killed Smalls

*C.A.T.S. in not endorsed by NY Comic Con, Marvel, or Andrew Lloyd Webber. It was started by a bunch of SUNY Purchase students who love comics. So don’t tar and feather Joe Quesada…He’s faster than he looks.

Please Feel Free to add your own Stark-Isms.
Looking forward to this community growing.